Recommendation: Before reading this chapter, read Chapter 28, maybe even Chapter 27, for the flow of the story. Also watch this awesome animatic by Peppoco!

Cool announcement in the author's note!

https://youtu.be/ZpT--97dbPs

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There was only silence.

Dead silence.

And yet my head was filled with noise.

A noise that wasn't meant to release any emotions but only drone out the thoughts swirling in my head.

"You smile and laugh to hide your insecurities despite knowing that everything you do is pointless because everyone sees right through you. You're forced to realize that people have their own lives and the universe doesn't revolve around you."

Jordan had his head on the table, one hand clutching the locks of his hair out of frustration. And yet he sat still and quiet, save for the incoherent murmurs under his breath. The table slightly wobbled as I heard the light taps of Jordan restlessly bouncing his leg.

"You're terrified that with one wrong move, you'll lose control or your past will catch up to you. You tell yourself that you're not Gio, but every time you look at him, think about him, you realize it's not a matter of if but a matter of when."

Declan had sat back against his chair, his arms folded across his chest, staring up at the ceiling. But then he leaned forward, placing an elbow on the table, placing his hand over his eyes. He visibly clenched his jaw before letting out a shaky exhale.

"You're constantly weaving this character to your advantage. You think you have everyone fooled with this double-sided facade of yours, but now you can't even distinguish yourself. You say that you hate books with unreliable narrators but that's exactly what you are."

I stared blankly at my glasses sitting on the table, my nails digging into the palms of my hands as fought to blink back the tears. I bit the bottom of my lip that trembled, hoping that the taste of iron or the pain in my hands will stop me from falling again.

He left us. Bennett left us. In what seemed to be a plan for weeks, no, months, he left the Musketeers and cut us out. It was already enough of a shock of him backing out as our leader and quitting the gang because of this wall between him and the rest of us, alienated and betrayed. It was already enough that he said the whole friendship was an act, carelessly forced together by that contract, and that our friendship should not, will not stand in his way to his future.

But to end it all, he left a parting gift for each of us. Some sort of sick, twisted character analysis of us, exposing our insecurities and fears that we may not have known had existed, much less expected him to. It was like he was some therapist, only a therapist helped you work your insecurities out, not throw them in your face. And yet, he still knew that much about each of us when I doubt the three of us together would have come up a third of Bennett's own character analysis.

I felt... I was... I am... I don't know. These emotions of betrayal, grief, anger, sadness, confusion just fought and clashed against each other leaving me to just blankly stare out to nothingness, numb.

Jordan's fist suddenly slammed on the table as he let out a curse, startling me and Declan out of our daze.

Jordan abruptly sat up, furiously rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater that I was worried that he could scrape them off. When he set his hand back on the table, he hung his head, his bangs falling over his eyes so I couldn't see them but I could only imagine he was glaring at whatever was in front of him.

Then he cursed.

Cursed Bennett's name.

But not just once.

Jordan kept cursing Bennett's name. Over and over again. Curse after curse. It was like some sick broken record, listing off colorful profanities against his name. His name. I held back from flinching every time his name hung in the air.

"Stop," I snapped, my voice fighting against croaking, before faltering, "Stop... saying his name..."

Declan let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before roughly running his fingers through his hair out of frustration. "We need to talk about what happened."

"Which part?" Jordan asked eagerly. "When Bennett betrayed us, when Bennett betrayed us, or, and stay with me, when Bennett betrayed us?"

"We can start when you thought he was going to do a promposal," I offered dryly.

Jordan shot me a glare. "That was a low blow."

"Oh I think we all had our fair share of them today," I replied back with a cold smile.

"Enough," Declan told us. "Before we can do anything, we need to first know if... if we'll try to get Bennett back."

I looked at him in confusion. "Are you serious?"

Jordan scoffed. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Declan narrowed his eyes. "We won't be able to get anything done, we won't be able to move forward if we don't decide on this right now. Bennett left but-"

"No, that's it," Jordan interjected. "Bennett left. He. Left." Jordan shook his head to himself. "I'm not going after him. And he better not expect us to after what he did."

"But there still had to be a reason," Declan reasoned. "I'm not defending him for what he did, for what he said, but something must've happened."

"He said that the reason why he was leaving didn't matter because he was already leaving without ever telling us," I told him. I looked down at my hands on my lap clenched into fists. "He said he didn't care about us."

"But do you really believe that?" Declan asked.

It was like I was in a trance as I muttered, "I don't know what to believe anymore."

"But this isn't... that isn't Bennett," Declan reasoned out. "There has to be-"

"Do we really know Bennett? Can we actually say we know him?" Jordan demanded. "Because I keep replaying every time we talked and... I don't know anymore. For all we know, the only reason's he's always quiet was because he would've insulted us every time he opened his mouth."

"But he wouldn't-" Declan stopped himself.

"What if... that is who Bennett really is?" I asked quietly.

When neither of them spoke, I bit out, "You were supposed to argue back. You've known him longer."

Declan shook his head. "Yeah, but only about one year. The three of us met in our junior year-" He said, sharing a look with Jordan "-So we can't really say we do."

"What about you, Naomi?" Declan asked me. "You think we should at least try to talk to him again, right?"

I glanced away, feeling my nails bite into my palms again. "Bennett decided to leave. We need to respect that."

"And now what you actually think?" Jordan pressed, twirling his hand to motion for me to continue.

I gritted my teeth. "I don't know if I want to talk to him, much less bring him back. He did all of this, said all of those things, and I still can't process it all."

Jordan clicked his tongue. "I'll drink to that," Jordan said before muttering, "Actually I think I should," as he pushed his chair back to stand up.

I reached out to place a hand on his to stop him. "Jordan, please don't."

Jordan jerked his hand away from my grasp. I tentatively pulled my hand back, embarrassed. He winced, looking down at his hand, but said nothing.

"But does that mean you want to bring Bennett back, Declan?" His eyebrows furrowed together at my question.

"I..." He faltered for a moment before saying, "If the decision isn't unanimous, then there isn't a point."

"But what do you want?" I pressed. I don't know why I asked. It was as if I wanted a reason to change my mind when I didn't want one.

Declan hesitated. "I just want to move on."

"You just don't want to be the leader," Jordan said, rolling his eyes. "Life is easier if you're just a mindless follower not making the decisions."

"Are you talking from experience?" Declan asked dryly, earning a glare from Jordan.

Surprisingly, Jordan didn't take the bite and instead said, "Now that we decided not to follow after that traitor, let's move onto the next point of the agenda."

I glanced at Declan, noting how Jordan took lead for the moment but Declan looked too distracted about something else to notice.

"Since it's going to be the three of us now and we just saw the worst-case scenario, we need to fess up," Jordan told us. "Are any of us leading double lives or have some split personality? You first, Naomi."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Excuse me?"

"It's like what Bennett said," Jordan pointed out. "Wait, what did he exactly say? He talked so much for once, it's hard to keep track. He said you have everyone fooled with your double-sided facade of yours and-"

"So we're going to believe everything Bennett said then?" I asked in disbelief. "Because if I remember correctly, he diagnosed you with imposter syndrome. Is this not the answer to your questions, the punchline of your joke?"

Jordan chuckled bitterly. "Alright, I take it that neither of us wants to share with the class."

"Wait, was this another one of your attempts to lighten the mood and shift the focus away from your insecurities?" I asked, my tone feigning confused innocence. "Because, I'm sorry Jordan, it's not going to work anymore, or well, never has."

"You both need to stop arguing like that," Declan said before muttering, "I never knew I would ever have to say that."

"Do you miss arguing with me that badly?" Jordan asked him. "Tough luck with you being our so-called leader now."

"What do you mean by so-called?" Declan asked him lowly.

I sighed. "Look, even if we don't want Declan to be the leader, we still have to-"

Declan looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you don't want me to be the leader too, Naomi?"

I quickly interjected in my defense, "No, I meant all of us didn't want-" I stopped myself then calmly explained, "I'm not saying you're not going to be a good leader. It was because earlier you didn't want to be the leader if it meant Bennett would leave us."

Jordan snorted to himself. "Nice save."

"The actual save was with Bennett not choosing you to be the leader," I countered. "I wonder how long we would've lasted. A day? No, I should give you more credit. Probably an hour."

"Aw, are you jealous because you weren't considered a candidate at all?" He cooed. "Maybe you'll get a chance next time when Declan decides to leave too," Jordan offered with a smile, earning himself a glare from Declan.

"I liked you better when you were speechless after Bennett's character analysis on you," I told him. "It was an improvement. I was hoping it would be part of your character arc."

"We can't forget that you're the one who demanded that analysis, dragging me and Naomi to it," Declan remarked.

"Look," Jordan huffed out, "I didn't know he was a damn therapist. If I did, I would've asked him for his hourly rate."

"It would probably be too high for you," I muttered and when he shot me a glare, I rolled my eyes then added, "for all of us. Mostly because it was..." I faltered, struggling to find the right words.

"Disturbingly accurate?" Jordan finished before throwing out a halfhearted shrug. "That's why you shouldn't trust quiet people. They don't talk because they're too busy learning about all of your secrets."

I rested my chin against my hand and asked nonchalantly, "As opposed to loud people being trustworthy... like yourself?"

"Do you see me throwing an in-depth character analysis at your face free of charge?" Jordan threw back.

"I wouldn't call it in-depth," Declan muttered.

Jordan sighed. "I don't know Gio as well as you, obviously," he said, "but I know how you feel about him after what happened."

"But-" I cut in. "You don't have to worry about it. You won't become like Gio and-"

"That damn thought never crossed my mind," Declan snapped at me, looking away. "I don't care about Gio, never have, never will. So I have no idea what Bennett was talking about."

Jordan and I shared a look.

"Since when did you have an inferiority complex?" Declan asked Jordan with a scoff, holding a slight smirk, the closest thing to a smile after what happened. "It can't be true. Why are you saying it's accurate? If I knew you felt inferior to me, it would've been easier to deal with you as well as an ego booster."

Jordan glared at him. "The hell do you mean by that?" He suddenly stopped then scoffed. "You think I'm actually jealous of you? Why would I ever be? I can write a grocery list about how glad I am that I'm not-"

"I never said anything about jealousy," Declan said with a bigger smirk that made Jordan freeze in the realization.

"Anyway, whatever, maybe you're right about Bennett not knowing what he was talking-"

"What's there to be exactly jealous of?" Declan continued, ignoring Jordan's attempt to change the subject. "Height, physical strength-"

"Since when did you have Jordan's ego?" I grumbled under my breath.

At that, Jordan said in exasperation, "Oh shut up, Lynch." Jordan put his elbow near the middle of the table with his hand opened to one side. "Arm wrestle right here and now. I'm even going to use my right hand even though I'm a lefty just to-"

Jordan was suddenly cut off when Declan grabbed Jordan's hand to meet for the arm wrestle match. Declan only gave him a second to react to its start before he slammed Jordan's arm backward, making Jordan nearly fall off his chair along with the abrupt action. Jordan cursed out, pulling his arm back, and slightly rolled his shoulder. Then he placed his left elbow on the table, holding up his left hand, before glaring at Declan signaling a rematch.

Jordan lost that too.

Now I suffered sitting at the same table as Declan gloating and Jordan seething. You would imagine that dealing with three guys is worse, but with these two, the toxic testosterone has reached a hazardous level that can be fatal. I closed my eyes, trying to remember how much tolerable this stuff would be if there were the four of us.

My stomach dropped at the thought.

In an attempt to wave it off, I said dryly, "Are you guys done with your little contest? Because we have other stuff to talk about."

"Yeah sure," Jordan said, rolling his eyes. "I guess next on the agenda of Bennett's character analyses is..."

The two of them slowly turned to look at me

I narrowed my eyes at them. "What?" I demanded lowly.

"What did he mean by you being an unreliable narrator?" Jordan asked. "Do you take notes with all the lies you're probably hiding from us?" I didn't appreciate his successful attempt of shifting his embarrassment earlier towards me and Declan knew too given the glare he shot Jordan.

"Oh, so now we're going back to the whole 'who here left is secretly a Bennett'? Some kind of Jekyll and Hyde?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well it's like what Bennett said, you can't even distinguish it yourself," Jordan told me before slowly standing up from his table, placing a hand onto it to lean over the table to look closer at me. "How many personalities do you have? Let's make a guessing game out of it," he sneered at me. "Winner gets to be the next leader."

I gritted my teeth at the words before abruptly standing up from my chair, slamming my hands on the table to meet up to him only to stare him down. "I don't know Jordan. But while we're on the subject of interrogating people, what did he mean you being so selfish that you think the universe doesn't revolve around you? When does your imposter syndrome kick in from this- before or after?"

He frowned but covered it up with a slight smirk. "God, Naomi, you're being such a-"

He stopped himself, but it was already too late. 

"A what, Jordan?" I demanded. "Say it. I've heard plenty of insults. You're not the first and you're most certainly not going to be the last. So I want to hear you say it. I'm a what?" 

Jordan glanced away, refusing to look at me, but his face now washed over with anger but I don't know who it was directed from or to.

Declan suddenly slammed his fist against the table. "This is my final warning. Stop going at each other's throats or else-"

"Or else you'll what? You'll hit us?" Jordan countered by quoting Bennett, surprising Declan to not retaliate in response. "Oh, but from what Bennett said, you're keeping your anger issues in better check especially since Naomi is-"

Declan abruptly grabbed the collar of Jordan's shirt and yanked him forward to meet his eyes. "Keep mentioning my past like that and it'll become the present instead. You don't know how badly I want to punch your face in so be lucky I'm your damn leader now." He then pushed Jordan away, letting go of his shirt. Jordan, shocked that he got what he asked for, awkwardly fixed his disheveled shirt.

"Bennett was right. You really are just some attention seeker," Declan told him. "You think you're so special to say all of this, by acting all mad and throwing a tantrum."

Jordan scoffed but I could tell he was seething in anger at our remarks not wanting to prove us right.

"Nice pick, Bennett. Real leadership material we got here."

Declan narrowed his eyes at Jordan. "The hell did you just say?"

"I thought you didn't care if Declan was the leader," I mocked.

Jordan turned to give Declan a sad look. "Oh no, did you actually believe me? I hope I didn't hurt your feelings." He gave him a dry look. "Not like you actually believed you could be a leader anyway."

"Wow, I didn't know there was such a roundabout way to say you're jealous of me, Jordan," Declan told him. "You should be more honest with yourself."

Jordan gritted his teeth. "I hate to break it to you and your ego, but I'm not jealous of you," he told Declan. "I'm too busy pitying the both of us-" Jordan jerked a thumb between me and him "-for getting you as the leader."

"Don't drag me into your little pissing competition," I snapped at him.

"What a tongue you got there, Naomi," Jordan sneered at me. "Are you still the same good girl from when we first met?"

I met his eyes with a glare, he was smirking at me but it didn't reach his eyes. "I never said I was," I told him. "But say one more thing like that to me and you won't have a tongue yourself."

Jordan narrowed his eyes at me. "Feisty," he muttered.

"Enough," Declan snapped. "We shouldn't be fighting with each other. This is the last thing we need."

Jordan clapped his hands together. "Give it up for captain obvious!"

I pushed Jordan's shoulder with my hand. "Seriously?" I demanded. "Real mature, Jordan."

He swatted my hand away. "Yeah, as if that was ever my thing," he snapped at me.

Shaking his head, Jordan abruptly stood up from his seat. "Forget this. I'm leaving."

"What?" I demanded, walking after him. "You're just going to leave just like that? You saw how easy it was to just leave after Bennett? You're a hypocrite after you were cursing him out for leaving."

When I grabbed his wrist to stop him, he snapped it away. When he turned around, we stood in front of each other, eyes locked. It was ironic how we stood this close to each other just weeks before, but instead, only anger spilled out between us.

"Declan and I were too shocked about everything Bennett was saying but still tried to reason with him," I stated. "But you. You were the first one to lash out at him. The first one to turn against him. It was as if you were just waiting for a reason to."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Jordan warned me.

"What did Bennett say about you again?" I asked. "Oh right- selfish. You thought the entire time it was all about you. Well, you're right- it was."

There was a flicker in his eyes. "What?"

"Are you that much of an idiot?" I asked in disbelief. "Bennett wanted to cut us off. And you gave him the opportunity on a silver platter when you decided to punch him."

"He deserved it," Jordan bit out. "The one time the guy won't shut up-"

I let out a light laugh and looked back at Declan. "The irony is breathtaking, don't you think?"

Jordan grabbed my shoulder to make me turn back to him. "Hey, don't-"

I pushed his hand away. "You're selfish Jordan, and the sad part about it is that Bennett knew how it would go, how you just played right into his hand. We could've had a chance to stop this but you couldn't even stop to think about us, to think about him."

"And what, you think we should still care about him? I thought you said that because he doesn't care about us that we shouldn't either," Jordan told me and I was angry for being caught by my own words.

"And stop calling me selfish! You're just as bad as Bennett, thinking you're better than us, the moral compass out of all of us." There was a bitter chuckle. "I still remember when you tried to stop him by grabbing his shirt, trying to play that innocent card for those fake feelings he had for you and having it fail so pathetically-"

"You don't know what you're talking about," I sputtered out, now not knowing if I was angry, embarrassed, or both. "God, why can't you just-"

"Both of you are selfish!" Declan shouted, abruptly standing up to make his chair fall backward. His fierce glare made the both of us flinch. "You're not the only ones who got hurt. I got betrayed by my best friend too! And I can't even do anything about it because someone has to keep it together!"

The room fell silent at Declan's sudden outburst. I realized that Declan was right. While Jordan and I were too busy lashing out at each other, Declan was the most level-headed between the three of us but only because he was forcing himself to.

"You two. Sit back down," Declan ordered. "The meeting hasn't ended. We need to start talking about moving on with the plan and-"

"You can't honestly expect us to actually talk about any of this after what just happened," Jordan said in disbelief.

"I'm not expecting a damn report," Declan snapped. "We need to talk about this and if I say we do, then we will."

"But you didn't let me finish," Jordan said dramatically. "You can't honestly expect us to talk about this sober."

I sighed, putting my face into one of my hands. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"You are not going to be drunk while we're talking about- Really?" Declan demanded as he watched Jordan give him the middle finger as he walked towards the kitchen on his quest to find alcohol.

Declan put his face into a hand, heaving out a sigh. "Naomi," Declan said, waving me off. "Go talk to him and-"

"Why?"

He looked up to me and frowned. "What do you mean why?"

I shook my head. "Why do I have to? Because Bennett appointed me the official babysitter?" I gritted my teeth. "If I start now, that's all I'm ever going to be."

"I'm not asking you because of that. I'm asking you as a friend."

"A friend?" I repeated in disbelief. "You already saw how I tried to stop him and he just shut me out," I told him. "He won't listen to me. You go give it a try."

"We both know I'm the last person he'd want to talk to."

I turned to narrow my eyes at him. "Jordan doesn't respect you as our leader as he did with Bennett. But you're our leader now, Declan. So act like it."

He narrowed his eyes back at me. "So you don't respect me as one either? What if I ordered you to talk to him? Will I be a leader then?"

"Calling you a tyrant would be more fitting."

Declan's jaw visibly clenched as his hands were balled into fists.

"I swear I had more than this," Jordan muttered as he came out of the kitchen, holding a case of beers in one hand and a large bottle of vodka in the other. When he saw the two of us, he narrowed his eyes at us. "They're still mine though."

"Don't worry, Jordan," I assured him. "No one else wants to fall into the depths of alcoholism but you."

He snorted. "Good. We don't want our poor, sweet, innocent Naomi taking the wrong path," he cooed. "But it's a good thing there's still the two of us to watch over you. You might trip and hurt yourself."

"Keep talking and you're going to need to save that alcohol to stitch you up," I threatened.

Jordan popped open a bottle. "Ooh, I'm so scared," Jordan mocked before taking a large swig of beer.

Declan stared at Jordan who began chugging a bottle of beer before sighing. "Anyway, I decided that since we're down a man-"

"Yeah sure, call him that," Jordan said, having paused from drinking just long enough to cut that in.

"Since there's only three of us," Declan continued, "we need to reorganize the responsibilities and work ahead of us. First, only Jordan and I will do fieldwork while Naomi will stay back to be technical support and backup to-"

"Wow, it's amazing how something you expect actually happens," I said in disbelief. "Almost like how Bennett knew that Jordan was going to take the bait when he left."

"Can you just shut up about that," Jordan grumbled as he reached for another beer as he was still drinking his first one.

"What are you talking about?" Declan asked me.

"You said that we're down a person and have a lot of work between us," I told him. "Then the first order of business is to give you and Jordan all the work and I'll be your cheerleader at home base?"

"That'd be hilarious," Jordan with a snort. "If Bennett was here, we would've made him buy you a cheerleading outfit."

I looked at him in disbelief. "How dare-" I was too angry to even finish that sentence.

"Can you just-" Declan lifted up Jordan's bottle of beer so he'd drink it to shut up and Jordan was happy to oblige.

"And that's not what's happening," Declan assured me. "Since there's only two of us, I need to make sure that you're safe."

"I feel so happy and safe and loved," I said cheerfully. "While I'll be here by myself, should I cook you a five-course dinner, knit some matching sweaters, maybe even redecorate the base for our gang." I gave him a blank look. "Cute. Thanks."

He gave me a dry look. "It's not like that. "

"Oh, I think it's exactly like that," I told him. "Only Bennett and Jordan ended up being the ones who actually made me pull my own weight around here. You never want me to do anything. You're the leader now, Declan. If you want me to leave then just say so. Your wish is my command," I spat out sarcastically.

"I'm not going to do that," Declan told me. "But I can't just leave you on your own."

"And I can't have you two be on your own either!" I countered.

"Oh great, mom and dad are fighting again," Jordan commented as he cracked open another bottle.

"Shut up!" Declan and I shouted at him before turning back to each other.

"Do you know how demeaning it is?" I asked. "It's so frustrating with the three of you. From when we first met all the way to now. This is probably what Bennett must have felt because even when you tried to include me, I was always cast away, a line between me and the rest of you."

"But Bennett only believed it was like that," Declan reasoned out. "And you should know it's not like that either."

"No, no," I said, shaking my head. "You don't know how I feel because you're at the other end causing it."

"Since we're going to start being honest to each other thanks to Bennett, I want to finally tell you one little thing," I said with a small smile. "Who do you think you are?" I snapped at the two of them. "You think you know what's best for me. You think you know better than me. But you don't even know what's better for yourself!"

Looking at Jordan, I scoffed. "You're a man-child who doesn't know how to shut up and is one case away from joining Alcoholics Anonymous."

Then I stared down at Declan, "And you're an internalized misogyny disaster in desperate need of renewing his anger management certificate."

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Oh please. You're telling me that you wanted to be left on your own then? I'd like to see what was left of you when you graduated Dartwell without talking to us-"

"- and getting dragged into that stupid friendship contract you made?" I finished, earning a glare from him. "I can't believe Bennett forgot to diagnose you all with white knight syndrome. I dealt with enough for years. I didn't need you- you were just a convenience."

"A convenience?" Declan repeated in disbelief. "Do I have to remind you how we first met?"

"Oh don't worry Declan. I dealt with a lot worse than just that," I snapped. "Just be lucky I'm sparing you the details. So get it out of your heads that you saved me from anything. Hopefully this doesn't drop your egos too much and it's still in the double digits."

"'You're not my father- No we're worse!'" I mockingly quoted, being satisfied by the embarrassment displayed on Jordan's face. "Are you kidding me?" I asked, forcing out a laugh. "That was so degrading and pathetic it was laughable on both ends."

"And that's all you ever do- patronize me! I know full well my experience and my capabailities falls shorts of your own. But that does not justify you treating me like that. I should not have to constantly fight to prove myself because it should not be a one way street."

I glared at the two of them. "It was the blind leading the blind. So don't you dare ever think you can just tell me what you do and say it's for my own good because we all know you're full of it. We're all terrible disasters and Bennett seemed to be the only one who can keep us in line only to find out that he's just as pathetic as we all are."

"You can argue all you want, but I'm not putting you in danger," Declan told me. "And I'm your leader now and what I say goes. If you try to go against it, then you're out."

"Going back on your word already?" I asked him. "Oh what a great leader we have before us, right Jordan? At least Bennett had the decency to wait a bit longer before lying to our faces." Jordan snorted but said nothing about my remark.

"You know what?" Declan asked as he stepped in front of me. He looked down at me not only with his height but with his entire being, taking advantage of it to put me in my place. "I'm going to explain this to you as slowly and simply as I possibly can so you can understand," he said in a tone you would speak to a child, making my blood burn like fire.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," I spat. "Don't you dare patronize me and-"

"You're a weak, naive little girl," he said lowly. "You're a walking target for any gang member or guy for that matter who can't keep it in his pants but wants to keep you in his bed."

I froze at his words- harsh, disturbing words.

"I hate Bennett for not just considering but moving forward with you doing any work. It's not because you're not capable of doing the work, but because you're vulnerable and our weakest link that anyone can exploit. But now that I'm your leader, I'm not going to waste my time worrying about you as you skip around believing that someone is going to save you because there will come a time that no one would be able to, and I don't want that to be the one to live with that guilt."

"So I'm sorry if I won't pamper you and let you do whatever you want just because you feel sad or bad for being left out. I don't care if you hate me because you think I'm underestimating you or looking down at you if it means that you will stay where I know you're safe. So you are going to listen and follow everything I will say if you want to stay here. But you're right. I'm looking for the chance to make you leave this gang and you don't know how happy I am that you're giving me plenty of reason to."

Jordan muttered a curse under his breath reminding me to breathe. Declan had never said anything like that to me before and the fact that everything he said had weight behind it made me sick. Pure shock was the only thing keeping me standing in front of him.

I forced myself to look at Declan, to meet his eyes, and it was the same eyes I saw on Bennett before he left. He knew what he was doing, he wanted me to react like this if it meant to get his point across. But God I hated how he decided to.

Now locking eyes with him and not faltering, I slowly nodded to myself. "I knew that what this was how you have always seen me. It was just a matter of time you finally say it to my face. I'm just surprised how much you held back at condescending me."

Declan exhaled. "I'm tired of acting otherwise. If this is how I have to get it through your head, then so be it."

Left staring down each other, it seemed like nothing would break the sharp tension in the room until someone abruptly cleared their throat.

"Now that we know how fragile our friendship is, I think we can agree that the first meeting under Declan's dictatorship is adjourned," Jordan said brightly as he now popped open his bottle of vodka and took a generous swig. "If you need me, find someone else because I'm going to see if I have a future in bartending as I drown myself in alcohol. Au revoir."

Jordan stood up from his seat and began walked towards the door. I turned to leave but Declan suddenly grabbed my wrist. When I looked back at him, still riding a wave of shock and disgust, his eyes flickered giving me the chance to force my wrist out of his grasp.

Suddenly, there was a loud curse, something about intercourse.

Jordan turned back to us, his face a mixture of disbelief and anger.

"How the hell are we going to school?"

~

Oof, took a while to write a short chapter. But hey, that's university for you. Oh and I was in a construction sustainability competition and we won third place. So that took a chunk of my time and now I have to catch up with school work after having missed three days of online school.

How was the chapter for you? Great huh? Oh no, terrible? Well you're entitled to your wrong opinion jkjk. It was both weird and great to have everyone just fighting each other now. It's like uncharted territory as I further understand how these characters think. I really struggled with the order of conversations though which is why this chapter took so long. It was actually supposed to have one more scene but I wanted to post this chapter by Valentine's Day.

Ooh but let's do a little review. Shocked by Bennett leaving them, they each handled the action and their grief differently. There's Jordan who sparked the most arguments, snapping insults before succumbing to alcohol. He's angry at Declan for being the leader over him and at Naomi for returning his insults. There's Naomi no longer turning towards sadness but towards anger just like Jordan, perhaps because she visibly cried in front of the others. She's angry at Jordan for lashing out so easily towards Bennett and them then at Declan for his immediate actions as their new leader. And then there's Declan forcing himself to be the level headed one in the group when he would've easily fallen just like Jordan. He's angry at both Jordan and Naomi selfishly voicing out their anger when he isn't able to properly vent out his as well as them comparing him to Bennett as the leader. Already having to deal with Jordan, he also decided to shut down Naomi's feelings and capabilities to contribute to the gang in a pretty patronizing way just to make it clear.

I don't want anyone to take sides. All of them, all four of them, are clearly in the  wrong whether it be them individually responding or reacting to each other. Also, this happened immediately after Bennett left so wounds are still fresh. And I'm writing this after seeing the comments but no one should think they're hot. These characters are in grief and are angry at each other and themselves. We need to be able to properly see through it and analyze them and their relationships with each other.

Join the TGGBB Discord to talk to other readers about the chapter and any theories you have. You can talk about TGGBB headcanons and share any TGGBB writing/fan art/poems in any of the channels. There is also a fan art channel! It's late where I am so I will update this chapter later of the latest fan art. Also join my Instagram and follow some cool fan accounts for great TGGBB fanart and TGGBB memes. If you have artwork, the best way for me to see them is to tag me on Instagram or put it in the Discord fan art

NOW FOR THE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

@Pekgna made some more awesome merchandise in the TGGBB RedBubble store! You can go to my Wattpad bio for the link as well as my Carrd. Isn't it just some perfect timing- this chapter and Valentine's day? I just love how the planets aligned for this moment. Anywho, don't mind me. I'm going to just go buy all of this merch now!

Wait, why wouldn't you want to buy merch for the boys? They're so adorable. Well you can always read Broken Glasses lolololol

Ciao!

Rubix

Fan Art Lane: