Me: Why do you torture me? You never let me live in peace. Why did you embarrass me in front of them?

He: Embarrassment? What for?

Me: You lied to them, that we were on a Ho ... Hon ...

He: Honeymoon? Come on baby, if you are embarrassed for lying about it, let us make the lie into a truth.

He winked and started moving closer to me. I shook my head and stepped backwards. In a desperate effort to control my raging heart and to save my mind from going blank, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

Me: Stop it. You are crossing your limits. Remember that our marriage was not per my wish. All these days, I tried to bear with your torture, only because I didn't want to make a fuss. But I have had enough. Leave me alone. I am here to complete my incomplete work, not to live as your wife.

{OOPS! What did I just say now? I hurt his feelings. I am stupid. I am a devil.} My heart shattered to see the spark gone in his dark eyes.

He turned around, ready to go. But I did not want him to go. I needed to apologise to him. I needed to tell him that I did not really mean it. So in a haste, I grabbed his arm. He stopped, but did not look at me.

Me: I ... I ... am ... Sorry ... you ... I ... just ...

{What happened to me? Why am I unable to speak?}

He was still not looking at me. Looking at him like that pained me.

Me: I ... I ... love you!

{Wow! Great! A superb occasion to say that! Why am I so messed up?}

He let out a sarcastic laughter. {Yes! I deserved it. After all; I messed it all up.}

He: Are you sure?

I looked at him with a confused expression.

He: Are you sure that you love me?

I nodded with hesitation.

He: Few minutes ago, you were insulting me. Now you are saying that you love me.

{Oh yes! I am crazy. Wow Dhara! Congratulations on making a fool of yourself. Only you could put yourself into this.}

He: Let's have a small test to find out which of them is true. Prove it to me.

He started moving closer to me. My breath stopped in my chest. It was already dusk and everything around us got darker. I could not see his face clearly. My heart tried hard to break my ribcage, by pounding over it. I envied my heart because it at least made an attempt to escape.

But I could not, as I was rooted to my spot. My body felt numb and I was unable to move. I just stared at him with wide eyes, like a deer stares at the lion who is about to hunt her. Now he got dangerously close and slid his arm behind my waist. I felt a tingling sensation where his skin touched mine. I closed my eyes. He pulled me closer to him. An alarm went on in my head. I snapped open my eyes and with new found strength, pushed him away.

Me: What are you doing?

My voice clearly showed anger and frustration. He sat down on the grass and bent his head.

He: That is why I asked you if you were sure.

Me: Is this love ... according to you?

He: This may not be love. But this one instance is enough to tell what position you have given me in your heart.

Me: And how is that?

He: You don't trust me Dhara! You never trusted me. If you had; you would have known, how much I loved you. You would have known that I will never do anything against your wish. But you pushed me away. This shows that you treat me as someone dangerous, someone who cannot take care of you, someone who will only use you for his pleasure. Where there is no trust, there can be no love. Where there is Love, there is complete trust. ....... But let me clarify this to you. I love you. And I love you so much, that I won't ever touch you if it hurts you.

My eyes filled with tears. I collapsed onto the ground. {Why god? Why is he making life so difficult for me? Why did he have to tell me that he loves me; when I, with great difficulty convinced my crying heart to let go him? I thought, me rejecting him would make him hate me and happily go back to Radha didi.}

I let the tears flow down. {It was not lack of trust that made me behave like that. It was because I did not deserve it. I did not deserve the pleasure of his touch. How could I? It was her body that he was touching. I was just a temporary inhabitant of it, and that too because she showed mercy on me; releasing me from eternal punishment, because she gave me an opportunity to complete my duty on the earth. How can I take an advantage of her kindness? How can I experience the pleasure which was rightfully hers? I did not deserve him. He belonged only to my Radha didi. He loved her. She was his support, his true love. He was the source of her happiness. They were made for each other. I can never take her place. In fact, no one can! That is why I stopped him. I stopped him before it got too late, before I lost my control and turned selfish. Before my heart took the control ...}

I don't know how long I spent in my thoughts, creating pools of sorrow and drowning myself in it. I realised one thing for sure. IT IS TIME TO SAY GOOD BYE!!!

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Would you blame me, if I expected long comments on this chapter?

Do let me know what you feel. Would you want Radha to return or Dhara to stay? Now, please don't say both.

I have already completed writing this story, and I am not going to change it. But still, do comment and let me know what you feel. I might not consider them in the story, but I will, in my heart.