Reviewer - dollylisha2002

Book name - I'd rather die
Author - anushwa0410

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Review

Title / Cover :

The title looks interesting and unique . But , it doesnt match with the story . There is no relation between the story and the title , even though the description states it , it doesn't match .

Also , you need to get a new cover dear . The readers first look for the covers and then they choose . The cover isnt appealing here .

You can check out our 'gloss creations' and get a new cover or you can always make a new one .

Prologue/ blurb -

The blurb states something different and the story is different .
Since , this is a ongoing story , I cant judge it now based on the ten chapters .

There is no prologue . It's always better to have a prologue , it helps the readers to get to know the story even better and the characters present .

The plot :-

The plot is a ordinary one , infact a very usual one in wattpad but your way of writing is different . It's different seeing a story with junior class love story .

Quite rare , but good job .

Basically , it's a story of Tara having crush on zayn but she cant avoid having feelings for sameer , the new guy who then becomes her best friend .

There's nothing new about this plot . You need enhance it by giving importance to all the characters and make it more appealing .

But good Job on the storyline because it brings back lot of school days memories . Their nok-jhoks , rohit teasing them , rujul and vanshika's plan to make them confess and them playing TDS game , everything is just fun to read and remember our school days .

Also sameer and tara's love story is cute and funny .

Kudos to that .

But the main problem is ,
You need to keep a uniform pace in the story . At the starting chapters , the story was revolving around their 4th standard and suddenly it stopped at 5th and then 6th , the next chapter. But it gradually slowed down , and they are still in 7th std for 4-5 chapters !

This pace is not uniform and it will make readers get irritated or end up losing interest .

Also , there are many repeated scenes with the same sentences and dialogues . These could make readers lose interest easily again .

Characters :-

Tara's character is good . She is a girl Who holds responsibility and  handles both her studies and basketball .
She is also good at expressing her love or hiding it away from sameer .

Now the problem is with,
Sameer and zayn characters . They are kind of mystery because they dont have much lines or dialogues in the story .

Especially , zayn . When he ignores her , tara just moves on quickly with sameer . It doesnt make any sense in the story , also the title isnt justified here once again .

If he was tara's long time crush , I dont think she can move on easily . Because that's what her character says , stick to that .

You need focus on their characterizations first .

Also , there are way too many characters and some keep vanishing mid-way like Kia , dhanak etc .

But rujul and vansihka's characters are nice and funny .

Sentence and grammar,

You need sit down and pen it down properly dear .

There are too many grammatical mistakes , the sentence formation is not proper .
There is unnecessary usage of punctuations and ellipsis .

Also , there are many hindi dialogues . Readers who know hindi can manage but what about others ? You as a writer need to think about that too .

I would recommend you to give translations to the dialogues you have written in hindi , as it will be useful for readers to connect with the story .

Avoid mixing up hindi and english together in the same sentence .

Otherwise , it is quite readable , hence it's fine for a certain type of audience but otherwise , it requires vigorous editing.

Points to improve :-

• The title isnt apt , try changing it in accordance to the story .

• Focus more on their dialogues rather then narrative styles .

• Avoid mixing up hindi and english in the same sentences . Give translations in English , if you can .

• Try to keep uniform pace in the story .

• Dont bring too many characters into the story or make them persistent for a certain limit .

• Avoid repeated scenes .

Good things about the story:-

• School memories portrayed

• Rujul and vanshika's characterization .

• the friends interaction with each other .

• the funny scenes (their teasing and nok-jhoks)

• Simple storyline with a bit of a different touch .

NOTE :-

This review is only to help you improve on the parts you lack dear .
I am sorry , if I was harsh ! Please do forgive me .

I hope this will help you to tune up your work and make sure it reached varied audience .

#dolly

#glossians