Ito na ang pinakahihintay ng lahat. Ang scores and feedback ng mga hurado sa bawat entry.

Let's take a look kung ano ang resulta and feedback from JUDGE #1.

Challenger #1: The Ghost's Angel
Content - 36%
Creativity - 20%
Cleanliness - 14%
Total - 70%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.

1.Proper use of ng at nang
2. Proper use punctuation marks
3.Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations. And it's sometimes confusing who said what.
4. I understand you want to imply strong emotion or convo. I do this style too. But there were additional letters/punctions in the wrong places.
5.This is a one-shot. Why have multiple POVs? It just scaterred the thoughts na dapat compact sa iisang part lang. The emotion of the story followed. Kumalat kaya di malakas ang impact.

B. Style
I'm afraid I can't connect to the story. Why?

1. Unnatural convo flow. Pabebe in short. I was like reading a pa-cute telenovela.
2. Characters reactions to the situtation are also unnatural.
3.The story confuses me. Is this in Korean setting? I know, you  were inspired by KDramas, however, hindi masyadong connect sa setting at personality ng characters ang convo flow. They have Korean names and expressions. Yet, nagta-Tagalog sila like 98% of the story. If you want to tell a story, fix your setting.
4. Know the difference between ghost, spirit, soul, dreaming in comatose stage it oyung mga pagkakataon na ang utak raw ng tao ay naglalakbay or in denial, and someone in astral projection. Kai isn't dead yet, right?
5. There are many characters played. Nawala ang focus sa 'Ghost at Angel'
6. Plan your story parts. Parang minadali mo ang ending to comply with the number of words required
7. The love story part between the 'Ghost and Angel' is shallow, to be honest.
8. Title : THE GHOST'S ANGEL … too plain kung iba-base sa story. Won't even make me think. Yet, still doesn't fit dahil Kai was not a ghost.

Though I wasn't really impressed with the story and how it was written, I was impressed that you tried. That's good. Try again until you make it.

Challenger #2: Dear Mirani
Content - 48%
Creativity - 28%
Cleanliness - 16%
Total - 92%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
You chose to write in English so be very wary in delivering it. Formal English is different from conversational English
1. Correct verb tenses
2. Punctuation marks
a. For contrtacting words: ex. Its vs it's
b. Conversations in quotation marks : ex . "Yes dear." vs "Yes, dear."
3. Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations. And it's sometimes confusing who said what.
4. Proper word use : ex.
a.  soon vs later ; in vs at vs with vs to vs at vs on vs by
b.  changing from verb to noun to adjective forms
c. Words may have the same meaning but remember that they have different usage
5. Subject verb agreement
6. You could have at least italized the flashbacks/dreams  and added spaces, so as not to confuse readers which ones are happening currently and which are not


B. Style
1.Very nice story.
2.The setting and sequencing are done really great.
3.Not cliche and not predictable.
4. You gave a different side of the theme second chance
5. Title : DEAR MIRANI … creative in the sense that you use the letter's

Challenger #3: The Next Time
Content - 45%
Creativity - 24%
Cleanliness - 17%
Total - 86%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Minor typo errors
2. Minor spelling errors
3. Minor error with ng vs nang usage
4. Proper use of prepositions : on vs from
5. Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations. And it's sometimes confusing who said what.


B. Style
1. Convo flow wise, sakto lang.
2. Anti-climactic, though. I mean, I didn't feel the climax in the story. Medyo nanghinayang ako, nauumpisahan na akong maka-relate sa emotion ng story suddenly biglang tapos na pala.
3. The story could have been better kung properly delivered ang parts.
4. Medyo cliche ang story plot pero nadala mo sa style nang pagsulat.Hinsi ka nag-focus sa cliche part na rich guy then poor/middle class na girl. I like the way you focused on the fears/emotions nung bidang babae.
5. Hindi ako masyadong naka-relate sa title na THE NEXT TIME kung iba-base ko sa story. Maybe you should just make the title NEXT TIME. Iba kasi ang ibig ipakahulugan kung sasamahan mo na ng "THE"
6. I like the no filtering style. If the character is to cuss, binuo mo ang pagmumura nung tatay. Why I go for this? Your medium is writing so spell it out.

Challenger #4: Behind The Bars
Content - 46%
Creativity - 27%
Cleanliness - 14%
Total - 87%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Verb tenses
a. Did+past tense verb
2. Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations. And it's sometimes confusing who said what.
3. Proper use of ng at nang
4. Proper use punctuation marks
5. Minor typo errors
6. If the character is to cuss, why censor with WTF? Your medium is writing so spell it out.
7. Minor capitalization of words. Learn to identify if the word is used as a common or proper noun
a. Si Ate vs sabi ng ate nya
8. Minor on repetitive or unnecessary words. Though I understand you on this. May ganyan din akong issues sa pagsulat lalo na kung ang bilis ng takbo ng ideas ko at kailangang makasabay ng kamay ko sa pagta-type
9. Proper word/words use
ex. Mo na vs muna; pa lang vs palang
10. Proper use of spelled out number to just using number figures : ex. Walo vs 8
11. Proper preposition usage : in vs on vs of et al


B. Style
1. Needs polishing in transitioning one scene to another instead of using **** to separate events
2. Some convo aren't fluid or natural sounding, just some
3. I like the concept. Not the typical love story of second chances
4. Title : BEHIND THE BARS … fits the story however a bit dead give away that it will be about someone who was in jail

Challenger #5:Twisted
Content - 50%
Creativity - 30%
Cleanliness - 17%
Total - 97%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Capitalization (I think this is just a typo error though)
2. Minor on proper use of ng at nang
3. Ala-ala vs alaala
4. Very minimal on punctuation mark error
5. Minor on separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations.


B. Style
1. Intro content usage of fucked up is somewhat incorrect. Chichi, your two characters are not fucked up. They're gifted but lost.
2. Hhmm... Very interesting story and style of writing.
3. I'd normally perefer one POV for one-shot but you've delivered this one really good.
4. No roller coaster type of climax but you were able to keep me reading and interested.
5. Title TWISTED would give a different impression on how the plot will go. Yet I think, it suits the story.
6. Very unique! Love it that you deviated from the cliche of second chances ideas, the rich falls in love with the poor keme-keme popular setting, you played it in just one day timeframe sa story.

Challenger #6: Take Two
Content - 37%
Creativity - 22%
Cleanliness - 15%
Total - 74%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Na lang vs nalang
2. Minor on punctuation mark
3. Proper preposition use , including no prep needed
4. Minor on separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations.
5. Verb tense usage
6. Capitalization
7. Minor on typo error


B. Style
I'm afraid I can't connect to the story. Why?

1. I couldn't figure out yung climax or let's say, kulang sa sustansya. Nagsisimula pa lang ma-build up yung emotion, then biglang ending na pala.
2. Yung bigat ng emosyon na naramdaman ng bidang lalaki sa akala nya ay pag-iwan sa kanya nung babae, hindi nag-reflect sa 'climax' ng story. The resolution part sa story was too easy.
3. It doesn't seem to connect. Jastine was being forced by her parents to marry an old rich businessman dahil sa dami ng utang, yet she was sent to America for treatment?
4. I could understand cliche story, however, madadala yun ng style of writing. The story as a whole somewhat failed in both.
5. Title : TAKE TWO ... Hhmmm? It appears that it wasn't well thought kung iba-base ko sa story. Looks like it was the title given to give way sa concept ng story na second chance.

Challenger #7: Tangents
Content - 49%
Creativity - 29%
Cleanliness - 16%
Total - 94%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Proper use of ng at nang
2. Minor on separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations.
3. Minor on verb tenses. This also affects parallelism of related sentences
4. Capitalization. Probably out of typo error
5. Minor on punctuation mark
6. Avoid using parenthesis just to insert additional info or explanation
7. Proper use of prepositions : on vs in vs onto
8. Remember that some words may mean the same but usage is not.
9. Proper use of words/terms to describe


B. Style
1. Imagine the scenario well. This line doesn't connect : "I'm going to leave. Please don't look back."
It's definitely wrong. "If you will leave, please don't look back" should be the case.
2. The general impression for second chance theme would be a love story. And that was the genre you used. Yet, you gave a different approach to it. You tols a story about the other side of second chance. Just bright!
3. Title :  TANGENT … perfectly fits the story

Challenger #8: This Time
Content - 38%
Creativity - 24%
Cleanliness - 15%
Total - 77%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Punctuation marks
2. Capitalization
3. Proper use of conjunction to combine simple sentences
4. Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations, include too much in one sentence (run-ons)
5. Minor on pronoun gender
6. Its vs it's
7. Verb tenses
8. Subject - verb agreement
9. Correct word use to describe an action or scenario
10. Minor on ng vs nang

B. Style
1. Inconsistency with POV: The first part was in the POV of the husband… why is his flashback in 3rd person and the husband's POV?
2. Convo flow : Medyo hindi natural ang dating
3. Sequencing is good and not confusing.
4. Medyo kulang sa impact. A typical second chance story. Lacking for something na tatatak sa utak ng reader.
5. Title : THIS TIME … somewhat plain. Be more creative next time para catchy or mag-iisip ang reader kung bakit ganun ang title.

Challenger #9: Exchange Gift
Content - 30%
Creativity - 22%
Cleanliness - 10%
Total - 62%

FEEDBACK:
A. Technical Writing.
1. Part of the contest rule was the opening statement of the story should be your answer to the question "Whaqt inspired you to write this story?" (about second chance) … you missed that part
2. Ng vs nang
3. Separating of sentences/paragraph from quoted conversations, include too much in one sentence (run-ons)
4. Minor typo errors


B. Style
1. Too many POVs. I'm afraid it killed the momentum of the story flow and emotion for a one-shot story
2. I read the story thrice. Kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan, I can't seem to see relate this to second chance theme. The last POV of G. Samson just lost me, that was why, I re-read the story. This is more approriate for another theme.
3. I like your style sa paraang tinapos mo sya sa tipong mag-iisip ang reader kung ano ang nangyari. But then again, hindi na-establish nang maayos ang setting at flow. Kalat-kalat in short. Di ko tuloy malaman kung anak talaga nila si Shendy, o anak lang ni Gng. Samson. Di rin na-establish kung kailan pa may diperensya sa pag-iisip si Gng. Samson. Di ko rin ma-gets sa huling POV kung bakit buntis si Shendy at si G. Samson ang ama. You've given me the impression na yun ang ikinasira ng bait ni Gng. Samson (who happened to be emotionally weak dahil sa matagal na paghahanap sa anak).Try to fix your sequencing and building up the flow para di masayang yung style mo sa pagsulat.
4. Hindi ko maikonekta talaga yung huling POV sa ibang parte ng story.
5. Title: EXCHANGE GIFT … di ko maikonekta.
6. To the author… Feel free to enlighten me kung ano ang pahatid mo sa kwentong ito.

PAYO PARA SA LAHAT NG CHALLENGERS:

This is for contructive criticism. Do not feel down. Instead, take it as a challenge.
Sulat lang and practice. Hanggang makagamayan mo na. Read stories with good/unique writing style. Marami kang matututunan sa mababasa mo.
I'm not perfect as well. So I understand the errors you may have since I have same issues like yours,too.
Write because you want to write, not because you just want to be in. This goes the same with your style. Your story may be cliche but make sure to have a unique style. Yung style na makikilala ka na ikaw. Yung magiging marka mo.
If you want to stand out, wear red among the crowd in white shirts!