"Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions."
~Primo Levi

–•–•–•–
1 year ago

"I'm leaving mother."

"Raven where are you going?"

"Out."

It wasn't safe to go out at that time. I knew it wasn't. But I chose to anyways. I was hard-headed like that. I still am. Didn't listen to anybody. If I'm being honest with myself I didn't really care how others viewed me. I knew who I was and couldn't change that.

"Raven you can't go out."

"I know."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"I want to get out of the house. I'm not a hermit. I don't hate the outside world."

"Raven could you please do this for your mother? Don't give me a heart attack again. You are all I have left."

"You are all I have left too. You don't see me trying to stop you from leaving the house!" My mother had kept me inside for the last month while she ran out and got supplies. I was always worried that she wouldn't come back. All I wanted was some fresh air, and being who I was, and argumentative 16-year-old, I was going to get it.

"Please just be cautious Raven." I rolled my eyes and left. My mother was ticking me off, so I simply just left. I regret that. That's the last time I saw her.

I went to the park. The park in town was my favorite place to be outside. Inside was the bookstore across the street of my house. But I didn't feel like going there that day.

I was an avid bird watcher, sunset watcher, and book reader. That's usually all I did. All day every day. But now I don't do it as much. Now I just run.

"Hello Red." That's what I named a cardinal I met. She would always sit on the same tree branch and wait for me. "How are your babies?" I hung out with her and then went to the beach. I had never gone to the beach before and I needed some alone time.

I sat on the sand and looked at the waves gently flow onto shore. I was sitting rather close to the water and high tide came in. I didn't exactly move, but I laid down on the sand. I didn't wear my hood as much back then.

The tide came in, hair got a little wet, and went out. I liked the way that felt on my skin. I didn't care that I was wearing street clothes, I just liked the water. I moved back a little so I wouldn't get drowned if I fell asleep there and laid back down. Part of me withes I stayed there.

Believe it or not I actually fell asleep on that sand. When I woke up it was sunset. I had left the house around noon.

"Uh oh."

It wasn't good for me to he out at dark. I had flashbacks to the last time. I started to cry just remembering the scene. I started to feel the pain of it. Then a large hand covered my mouth and another arm wrapped around my body like a snake. I was picked up and ran off with.

It was terrifying. My brain was doing fifty things at once. Calling for help, trying to stop them, trying to kick them in the one spot that would disable them. It worked before. It would've worked then if I wasn't at the wrong angle. They passed behind my house. I only got a glimpse of it. I saw enough.

What I saw traumatized me. When he ran me into the house it was worse.

He went through the basement by body slamming the door to break it down. He stomped me upstairs.

"You've caused a lot of trouble for us girl. This is what you left us with. To make sure that you don't get any funny ideas, we did you a little favor." It wasn't a favor.

He pushed me into the living room and onto my knees. I took some deep breaths of not sweaty palm only to see my mother dead on the ground. A bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead. Her face showed worry. She died with worry. She died worrying about me. About me being stupid and accidentally killing myself.

I thought I was evil. I considered myself an evil, reckless being. So I bolted out of my house, grabbed a few clothes that were by the door, and headed for the train station. I ran away from my problems into new ones.

I traveled south. Little did I know this gang the man was a part of, was all over the west coast of the country. They were spread out vastly but still connected.

All of them were notified. All of them.

No matter where I went, they'd be there to harass me.

The next place I went was more inland. Towards the middle of Oregon. I was walking on the streets with a $100 in my pocket my mother had given me. That was all I had. I had bought a drawstring backpack, some extra clothes, and a tazer. I bought some other, non important things too, but it eventually added up to about $100.

I originally had $200, but that's because I stole it.

I learned to pickpocket there. Be sneaky and I taught myself some acrobatics in a farmhouse way out in the countryside.

But I got caught there to. They almost beheaded me. I managed to escape though. But one of them followed me. I didn't even know it. I snuck over the boarder and made it to California. Northern Cali seemed like a better place. I didn't think anybody here would find me.

I was wrong obviously. But this was different.

This is when I found out about their network. This was about 9 months ago.

I left again. This time with cuts and bruises.

Found another place. Kept going south.

I met this girl named Moone. Didn't give me any other name. Just Moone.

"Moone! They're almost here!"

"Hold on! The trap isn't ready yet! There!" We were both orphans running from these guys. The difference was she knew how to avoid them. She had developed traps and tactics to evade them.

I learned the fire escape one from her. They always fall for it.

This trap was similar to a bear trap, but it was painted to look like the alleyway, so it was even more camouflaged. It was also big enough to chop the leg off at the knee. She made a bunch of them herself. They were mostly made of extremely sharp scrap metal, barbed wire, and sometimes if she could get her hands on some, dangerous chemicals. This one didn't have any of that on there.

I asked her why she was so brutal to them with her traps. She replied with this exact sentence.

"Things aren't easy. Especially with these guys. You have to be prepared. I know they killed your mom, but they killed my entire family. At my first and last birthday party. I'm not letting that happen to anyone or me ever again." She was a year older than me, but her family was so poor because they had to stretch out a little amount of money over 10 children. She was the oldest and got her party first. But she made the mistake of not telling them about the gang. They didn't try to protect her and they never saw it coming.

They caught her that day. They made her one of them by threatening to kill me. Then they had her try to kill me. Why didn't see just backstab them? They branded her. Just like they did all of their members. She couldn't leave. They would find her.

So I had to leave. I'm pretty sure she's dead now.

Every time then on, if I got close to somebody, they'd turn them against me and/or kill them. I never got close to anybody after about 5 months ago. By then I finally learned my lesson.

Then I found Jump City last week. This place reminds me so much of my home in Oregon. There's a beach, the park is so similar, and theres a house that reminds me of mine on Derby Rd.

Then, one day I was at the park, trying to get a bird, and Garfield came and got it for me.

I just told all of them this story (in summary) except for the part about Moone. They can't know this. They'll make me leave. This time I can fight back. This time, I'll protect my helpers.

Why? Why don't I just leave? My mother. That's why.