Chapter 6

~*~

Melissa

~*~

I replayed my fight with dad over and over in my head, not being able to forget.

He went too far, and I had pushed back.

But I didn't know if I was standing up for myself, or attacking him.

I don't mean physically, dad had said things and I used my words like knifes in a butcher shop.

I understood dad was hurt, having found out his ex-wife turned his own children against him and all, but then he turned around and alienated the one kid who had his back.

In the process he undid all the progress we made in our relationship, we had back tracked back into being stranger living under the same room instead of family.

And for a moment I lost hope, he was the last person I had in my life and losing him would crush me. I needed my father.

But it was my brother who came to the rescue. And the one I had least expected it to be.

but maybe what I'm fighting for is worth the lose if it meant I had a chance at having it

I hoped what I had told him was true because I didn't think I could lose my family again.

I don't think I'd want to live after losing my family again, and this terrified me because I knew if it came down to it I wouldn't hesitate to run the blade I kept hidden in my bag across my skin.

I wouldn't mind bleeding to death if it meant I could stop the pain from consuming me once again.

I shake my head, I didn't want the dark thoughts coming back.

I hadn't had them since before we moved, and I had been glad they were gone.

I didn't think they'd come back but I should have known.

I sigh, turning on my side as I played in bed.

That feeling of loneliness creeping in again.

I remembered this morning; I had opened up to Damian. He hadn't believed me but he was probably fed the same bullshit lies.

Maybe I was bound to always be alone. Maybe it was better.

I wanted the love of a family, but no matter how much love I gave out I only ever seemed to get hate back.

I wanted friends, but no matter how honest or genuine I was I only ever received two faced lies and backstabbing.

I only really ever had myself, I learned to cook for myself, I had no help with home work, I cleaned the house and mowed the lawn.

I had to be both a mother and a father to myself. I had to learn what types of people were good and bad.

And some lessons had been learnt the hard way.

I tried to come out of it, the type of person I could be proud of and although I got out of it I was ashamed of myself.

I had to be my own protector and my own hero.

But the one thing I couldn't do myself, couldn't give myself was love.

Getting up I put on warm cloths and walked down the stairs right to the front door.

I walked out into the night sky. Looking at the beautiful stars.

And I walked until I reached a point I couldn't and it was then that I decided. I would fight this fight, because I had nothing to lose.

I lost my family years ago, now was my chance to win them back.

Walking outside I was hit with cold air. Smiling I began to walk.

Walking past all the houses, the dark starry night bringing me a sense of calm as the wind blew.

~•~

I didn't come home until early morning, the world still asleep as I walked.

Before I was able to reach my front door I saw Damian, he was sitting on his porch his eyes closed.

So instead of going home to an empty house I walked towards Damian.

I sat down in a chair beside him, not saying anything.

"I thought you'd be angry at me" said Damien when the silence became to much.

I smiled "not angry, just upset, despite what you may think I do understand"

Damian frowned, not understanding what I meant.

"I have no doubt you were told the same things my mother told my brothers, and I have no doubt that when push comes to shove it is them who you'll protect" I said smiling "I am just an outsider looking in, however I see more than you realize"

And what I said was true, I saw more than people would have wanted me to see.

This town included.

"Maybe you are telling the truth, but how would that effect your brothers? It would crush them. Are you willing to be the person who rips your family apart?" He asks

And I laughed "My brothers missed out on years with their father because of lies, they missed out on memories with their sister who lived only two hours away, these lies are already hurting them, already affecting their lives and how they live so yes it will hurt but it's something that needs to be resolved" I reply.

Damien didn't say anything for a while.

"So you're not doing it for selfish reasons?" He asked

"Yes and no, I'm not guaranteed anything out of the truth, I could lose my family permanently but on the other end I am being selfish because by wanting to force the truth on them I'm taking away their decision"

It was the truth. I wasn't guaranteed a happy ending, but I would make sure my brothers got something close to it.

And that was selfish, because they wouldn't have a say in it, because I would hurt them and I would be the cause of their pain for a while.

But they needed to know the truth.

And I would be the one to tell them.

~*~

A/N

I'm curious guys, Whose your favorite brother? Mines Jake