ARNAV

"I am sorry Shrey." I said once again as we stepped out of the room, I didn't know how many times I was going to apologize to him because no matter how many times I apologized, it wasn't going to be enough.

I was his best friend for heaven sake, I shouldn't have done this to him, but if I'm being honest, I don't regret falling in love with Khushi, she was the most beautiful thing to have ever happened to me.

"I said it's okay Arnav, stop saying sorry, neither of us can change what had already happened, we just have to move on I guess." Shrey shrugged.

I nodded at him as I leaned on the wall, he placed the tray he had been holding on the bench nearby and stood beside me, leaning on the wall.

"I was angry when you left, I missed you." He said.

"I know, I wasn't thinking straight. You had all the right to be angry, I should have just stayed back and waited for your anger to calm." I replied.

"I know, but we are humans, we make mistakes." He sighed.

"We do." I nodded.

Maybe it was a mistake to fall for my best friend's wife, but it wasn't a mistake to fall for Khushi, what I felt for her was just something I couldn't describe in words.

"Aria said her health is deteriorating, if it keeps on going this way, we might lose her." He said breaking me out of my thoughts, I looked at him and he looked scared, I was scared too, we dint want to lose her. I mean she was the only good thing to have happened to me, after I fell in love with her, it was when I felt that this life was worth living and I couldn't handle losing her at any cost.

At times I wish things weren't as complicated as they are, then maybe I could sit with her and not leave her side at all, I would hold her in my arms forever and tell her it was all going to be fine and I was here with her, always.

But well she had a husband and he clearly had more rights on her than I did.

"I know, she called me and I rushed here, I don't want to lose her." I said sadly and then looked at him nervously, I shouldn't have said that out loud, I dint even know what he would think about me, for a moment I thought I was talking to my best friend only so I could tell him all I felt, but then I forgot that was Khushi's husband too and I couldn't tell him some things.

"Me neither." Shrey said sadly.

"Don't worry, maybe this was Destiny's way to make things alright and now that everything is fine, she's going to be fine too." I tried to convince Shrey even when I couldn't convince myself.

"Yeah, anyway watch on her I need to talk to Aria." He said.

I nodded so he walked away heading into Aria's office and I stayed back, I tried not to go inside but I just wanted to make sure she was okay so I pushed the door open and peeped inside, she was lying on the bed silently staring at the ceiling.

"You can come inside Arnav, stop peeping like a thief, I can't sleep anyway." She giggled. I smiled and walked inside as she sat up on the bed once again, I sat opposite her as she looked me into the eyes.

"It's after long I feel at peace today, knowing things are getting back to normal." She smiled.

"I know, they'll be perfectly fine once you are out of the hospital." I smiled back, she looked at me with expressions that said a lot that I didn't want to hear.

"Arnav, I've never died before." She giggled. "Okay I don't even understand what I'm saying as if I'd remember if I died before." She continued giggling.

"What's so funny about death?" I looked at her angrily, I dint like the way she was talking about it, I mean why was she okay with it? Because I wasn't, not even one percent and here she looked like she was all ready for it, why? It wasn't going to happen!

"It's not funny, it's just that I wonder if people feel the way that I do when they're about to die." She said.

"You aren't going to die Khushi!" I said firmly, she was just making me angry by talking about death.

"There's just thing feeling, like I know it, I can see it coming and I don't know why I'm not scared anymore. If this is the life I was meant to live then I'm okay with it, I have no regrets whatsoever. I was tired of all this anyway." She said in a sad tone.

I didn't say anything back, everything, every word she said was just making me angrier, deep down I knew and believed that she was going to make through all of this, she was going to live a happy life and grow old, I was certain about that.

"Can I ask you for something?" She looked at me with hesitation in her eyes.

"Anything." I replied immediately. I looked at her silently waiting for her to speak, she didn't say anything for a while and I couldn't stop looking at her, God! I loved her so much.

"You're going to hate me for it, but please understand me if you can. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't be asking you but I don't want to die without knowing what it feels like kissing you, I want you to kiss me Arnav." She said, she wouldn't even look at me anymore, she looked everywhere else but at me, it was as awkward for me as it was for her.

"Khushi." I stood up immediately looking at her in surprise, it wasn't that thoughts like this dint cross my mind before, but I knew my limits, I would never do that to Shrey, I was actually shocked that she was asking me to do this, they were still married and me kissing her would just be cheating.

"I knew you'd hate me, I shouldn't have asked, what was I even thinking... I just thought I was dying and I dint want to die without..."

"First of all, you aren't dying, secondly I don't hate you, I can't hate you when I love you so damn much Khushi!" I settled down back and got hold of her hand as I press it between my palms.

"Look at me Khushi, what we feel for each other, it's so pure to even be able to describe it and you know why it's pure? Because even despite it being so wrong, it's still right.

You know why we both call it love? Because we haven't crossed our limits, but once we do, it wouldn't be known as love anymore, it would just be cheating and I don't want that sort of a tag on what we feel for each other.

I want to kiss you, so badly trust me but I can't because I don't want to ruin the purity of what's between us, plus love doesn't mean you have to kiss the person you love, you can never kiss them or touch them yet love them strongly, and I want to love you that way.

Now after me explaining all this to you, if you still want me to kiss you I will, right away, but think about it with a calm mind then tell me what you want because I'm willing to do anything and everything that would make you happy." I looked at her, she nodded as she seemed to be thinking about it, I just hoped she was going to understand what I explained to her.

I had been through this, being cheated on and I knew what it felt like and I would never want to do that to my best friend, I just hoped she wouldn't make me do it, because she had some sort of power over me, she could make me do anything.

I dint even know it was possible to love someone as much as I loved her right now.

"I think I was weak for a moment, but you are right, we can't do this to Shrey, he doesn't deserve it, neither do we. If I die, I'll die knowing I loved you and I dint need to kiss you to prove it was true. Wow, I sound like a philosopher." She giggled

"Now you need to actually sleep and relax, Shrey went to talk to Aria about your health, I'll go check on him and be back in a while okay?" I smiled, she nodded as I grabbed her hand once again, I pressed it between my palms and looked at her for what seemed like forever before I finally walked out of the room leaving her to rest.

*****

I headed straight to Aria's office when I found Shrey busy discussing something with her so I walked in silently and settled down beside him listening to all they were talking about.

Shrey was busy trying to convince her to do something for Khushi to make sure that she was going to be okay, which she continuously told us wouldn't help, but anyhow Shrey and I still managed to convince her after talking to her for so long, she said she would try for our sake but she couldn't promise anything.

She walked out of her cabin as we followed her to Khushi's room, we all entered inside, Khushi was no peacefully asleep on her bed.

Aria walked closer to her as Shrey and I stood a bit further giving her space, she bent down and tried to wake her up, she shook her hand then shook her but she wasn't responding.

A sudden fear rushed inside me as I looked at Shrey, he looked back at me with the same expressions and we both rushed towards her bed.

"Khushi! Wake up." We both shook her. My heart was beating so fast for a moment I thought it was going to drop out of my chest, this wasn't possible, I mean I was here, with her just a while back and she was completely okay, she couldn't leave us just like that!

"Khushi!" We kept on calling out her name trying to wake her up but she wouldn't wake up. Damn it Khushi, wake the hell up!

"Guys, she's..." Aria tried to speak but we both turned to look at her angrily, neither did I want to listen to what she was about to say nor did Shrey.

"Don't!" Shrey warned her angrily.

"Please don't say it." I looked at her with tears starting to fill my eyes, the sight in front of me was so damn heartbreaking, I felt like each and every bone inside my body was breaking as each moment passed by and she wouldn't wake up.

"She can't leave me, she has to wake up." Shrey said as he continued trying to wake her up, he shook her, cupped her face, tried all he could but to no use.

I stood still staring at her lifeless body and I felt like everything inside me had gone numb, I couldn't move, I couldn't react, I couldn't do a damn thing, all that seemed to be function was my broken heart and my eyes that were filled with tears.

She couldn't just leave like this, why did God have to be so cruel, with us, with her? What did she do to deserve this?

"Shrey stop." Aria said as she pulled him away from Khushi.

"I trusted you! You told me you were going to save her, we did all we could, went to get new equipment's, medicines and what not, and despite it all you couldn't save her!" Shrey shouted at her angrily.

"I am just a doctor Shrey, I'm not God, all I can do is try and I tried my best!" She looked at him angrily.

"Just go away!" Shrey said angrily, she looked at him hurtfully, I wanted to tell her not to feel hurt it was just that he was hurt and he was doing this but I couldn't because I couldn't move, I was just so shocked.

Aria walked out of the room leaving the both of us behind with our broken hearts trying to convince ourselves that she was going to wake up.