KHUSHI

I stood outside the room nervously, I dint know if it was a good idea to go inside and talk to Shrey at the moment, he was hurt and angry and I dint know what to do.

I pushed the door open after gathering enough confidence, as I walked in, I found him seated on the floor, leaning against the bed, his eyes were bloodshot and it just scared me more.

He looked at me silently for a moment while I stood in front of him, I dint really have anything to say, I had explained everything to him, the only thing I could now was to apologize and continue apologizing until everything was ok.

"Tell me where I went wrong Khushi, I did everything I could to keep you happy and safe, I loved you always, I respected you, I just don't get how all of it was never enough." He looked at me sadly.

"I already explained Shrey, you have always been so perfect, it was just..."

"That girl in my room was Aria, I already explained to you why she was there, and I disconnected the call because I knew you would doubt on me, if at that time I knew it was going to make you fall out of love with me and fall for someone else, I would have never done that."

"I already told you Shrey, I still love you, just as much as I loved you before." I sat down beside him and looked him into the eyes trying to make him believe.

"What about Arnav?" He asked.

I looked at him silently, honestly I dint want to answer him because it was going to hurt him.

"Just tell me the truth Khushi, what about Arnav, do you, you know love him?" He asked once again, I just nodded positively without saying it.

"You can't love two people at the same time, it's either you loved me and you still love me and you never loved Arnav or it's because you fell out of love with me and fell in love with him." He looked at me seriously as tears streamed down his eyes.

At this moment I hated myself so much, I hated having this kind of feelings and I hated everything that was happening because of this feelings, until an year ago, everything in my life was so good, so perfect and then everything changed in a flash.

"I dint force myself to feel that way about him, I had no control over it Shrey, it just happened."

"So you love him, that's the final answer right." Shrey said.

"What do you want me to do Shrey? Accept that I fell out of love with you because I don't think so. Yes I felt something towards Arnav but it wasn't because I felt anything less towards you. I don't know how it happened or why it happened, I just know that it did and it wasn't my fault, it wasn't your fault neither was it his fault."

"Then whose fault was it Khushi?"

"I don't know, maybe destiny, I just know anything, all this is just so messed up and I messed it up and I am really sorry Shrey" I looked at him sadly.

"Stop saying you are sorry!" He shouted angrily making me flinch, Shrey and I had had so many arguments and fights in our relationship but he had never been this angry on me, I knew this was different, he was supposed to be angry, I was just hoping that maybe I was going to make him understand.

"What do I say then? Or what do I do to make things alright?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Shrey I..."

"I said leave me alone Khushi! Can't I get a bit of time to think about it, you had an entire week to fall in love and I can't even get a day to think about it?" He looked at me angrily.

I nodded and stood up as I walked away, things were so terrible at the moment, I dint think they were ever going to be okay.

I headed outside to the hall and sat down on the sofa as I looked at the ocean, it was pretty calm today unlike my life which was everything but calm.

How did I really go from not being able to stand Arnav at all to falling in love with me? If someone had told me something like this was going to happen a few years back, I would have considered that person to be crazy but in the end I turned out to be the crazy one.

Everything was so damn heartbreaking, as I sat there, I couldn't stop think about Shrey and what he would decide to do about all this, I also couldn't stop thinking about Arnav, I knew Shrey was the only important person he had in his life and right now, he was at the risk of losing him, I dint want that for him.

I stood up and walked back towards the room, I stopped at the door once again, I dint want to go inside, Shrey had told me not to, he just asked for some time alone and I wanted to give him that but then I wasn't really patient.

Right now at this moment I really needed someone by my side, someone to hug me tight and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

I walked back to the hall and leaned at the wall beside the window as I stared outside silently waiting and hoping that Shrey would talk to me soon.

A few minutes later, I saw him walking out of the room, he headed towards the door to leave but then he stopped and looked at me.

"Can I ask you a question Khushi?" He asked, his voice was really sad, It was so different it dint feel like his voice anymore.

"Sure." I nodded.

"What if all this wasn't wrong?" He asked

"I dint understand Shrey, what are you really trying to ask, please say it clearly so I can understand?" I looked at him in confusion.

"What if it wasn't wrong to love Arnav, maybe because love is never wrong but let's not go there, let's just say that maybe you had met the both of us for some arranged marriage sort of a thing and you liked the both of us, who would you have chosen, me or him?" Shrey asked.

"There's no point of this question Shrey, I am married to you and I chose you when I had a choice to make."

"That's the problem Khushi, because you say you still love me but you also love Arnav, so I feel like you're with me and you chose to stay because we are married and it's the right thing to do, all this is because the both of you don't want to do the wrong thing."

"So you want us to do the wrong thing? Is that what you want Shrey? For me to shamelessly walk away from you despite all that you've done for me, despite the fact that you love me? I don't think I'll ever be able to do that."

"I just want you to do what makes you happy Khushi." He smiled at me, honestly, right now I dint even know what made me happy anymore.

Neither did staying here with Shrey, nor did being around Arnav, so if the question was about choosing happiness, what was I supposed to choose?

"Are you trying to make me choose between you and Arnav Shrey? Because I had already chosen you over him." I replied.

"That was when I dint know, things are different now, I know and you have a chance to make a choice once again, so you know what, despite the fact that I am so hurt and I should be angry at you instead of telling you this, I am going to say it.

I'm just going to be selfish and ask you to choose me, I will also beg if that's what it takes, please choose me Khushi, please love me because I can't imagine what my life will be like without you, I hope that maybe somewhere deep inside your heart, you believe that I'll make you happy like I always have, I hope that I am your happiness Khushi." A few tears dropped off his eyes as he turned around and walked away.

Why was all this like a game, why was I being told to choose again when I had made the decision a while back, what difference was it going to make now?

Maybe the difference was that, last time I chose Shrey with no hesitation because I thought that what I felt for Arnav was temporary, I thought it was going to fade with time but it only got stronger, but right now, I couldn't really make a choice, I dint know whom to even choose.

I was feeling all kinds of emotions together, I was hurt and broken because I had hurt Shrey, I was angry that he was telling me to choose once again but he still wanted me to choose him and I was worried because he had left, I dint know where he was going but I was worried that if he went to Arnav, things weren't going to be good between them.

Shrey was hurt and angry and he wasn't going to care that Arnav was his best friend, I just hoped he wasn't going to hurt him.