Chapter 27

Claudelle Tuliao

I wanted to go see her and hug her. I wanted to explain to her my reasons for letting Eva in. Pero hindi pa pwede sa ngayon. I hope she'll wait for my explanations before she decides.

"Hi po, tita Criselda!" Maligayang bati ni Eva habang nakapulupot ang kamay nito sa braso ko.

Ngumiti naman si mama pero napapansin ko ang mapanuri nitong tingin nang makita ang kamay naming dalawa ni Eva.

"Nag breakfast ka na ba, ijha?"

"Kumain na po ako sa'min, tita. Magpapaturo lang po ako kay Claud sa assignment ko."

Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng kilay ni mama nang marinig kung ano ang tinawag ni Eva sa akin. Wala pang alam si mama, ang tanging nalalaman nya ay kaibigan ko si Eva.

"I see. Anyway, Claudelle aalis muna ako sandali. Mag go-grocery lang ako."

Marahan akong tumango at hinatid siya ng tingin papalabas. Kami na lang dalawa ni Eva ang naiwan dito sa bahay. Plano ko dapat ngayon ay magpahinga dahil walang pasok, pero bigla itong dumating at sabing magpalatulong siya sa assignment nya.

"Let's go in your room!"

She sounds jovial, as if I didn't know she's plotting something in her mind. I know from the very start that she's behind the video. She's the one who released it, and I know the reason why. I let her do what she wants to do, ang sabi naman ni tita Ema na siya na ang bahala kay August. I just hope that August will never believe everything she saw and read last night.

"No, sa study room tayo."

Hindi ko na tinignan ang reaksyon nya, bagkus ay tumalikod ako at tinungo ang daan patungo sa study room namin. Sa pagkakaalam ko nasa bahay si papa. Hindi ko pa alam kung ano na ang nangyayari sa kanila ni mama. Pero ang sabi sa akin ni papa ay aayusin nya ang pamilya namin. Kung kailangan nyang lumuhod sa harapan ni mama ay luluhod siya.

I already forgive him, for he did dahil naisip ko na kung didib-dibin ko ang ginawa nya ay ako rin ang mahihirapan. So in order for me to be at peace, I have to just accept everything, and I hope gano'n din si mama.

On our way going to the study room ay nakasalubong namin si papa. Nagulat pa ito nang makita si Eva na nasa likod ko lang. Nakalimutan kong ipakilala si Eva sa kanya.

"Pa, si Eva nga pala."

"Hi po, tito Calvin."

I don't know if my eyes are only playing tricks right now, but I think I saw familiarity in papa's eyes when he looked at Eva. Pero hindi ko na ito pinansin pa dahil ang nasa isip ko lang kung papaano ko mapapaalis si Eva.

Ako na ang unang pumasok sa study room at   umupo. Tumabi naman kaagad si Eva sa akin ay inilapag sa lamesa ang dala nitong notebook. Lihim akong sumandal sa sandalam ng upuan at kinuha ang notebook nito at sinuri ang assignment na sinasabi nya. Limang minuto ko itong pinagmasdan at muling tumingin sa katabi ko na nakatukod ang dalawang siko sa lamesa at pagkanta-kanta lang.

"I did what you wanted me to do," I said monotonously as I put the notebook back on the table. "What else?"

Her head is swaying left and right as if she's listening to music that she could only hear. She's using her index fingers as the drum sticks and the table as the drum, every time her fingers meet the wooden table, it causes tiny sounds.

"Tigilan mo na si August."

"Ha?" Maang nitong tanong. "Si August ba kamo?"

Walang gana ko lang siyang tinignan. "I know what you did, Eva."

This time, she stops what she's doing and looks at me with a serious face. "I already told you, Claud, but you didn't listen. So technically, this is your doing. I only did what you want!"

I suppressed my irritation, but I really want to slap her face right now. It's easy for her to tamper with someone else's life without knowing how the person she messed with is facing discrimination and having a hard time dealing with the criticisms of others. I know August is a tough girl, but she can be weak, especially in times like this.

"Claud, you knew this would happen! You knew something would happen to your friend if you continued hanging out with her! I warned you before, but you didn't listen, so it's your fault!"

She's glaring at me with a smirk on her lips as she says those words to me. She's furious.

"That video will be my ticket to get you, Claud. She's probably weeping every night, and people will never see her the way they did before. Magiging kahihiyan na siya sa school at hindi siya makaka graduate. You brought that to her, Claud, because you didn't listen."

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko ngayon. Tama naman siya, may kasalanan ako, but it's because I love August. I know I am also at fault, which is why I'm doing this. I am going to fix this mess I brought to August. I am going to make things right. I just have to sacrifice a few days of my life hanging around this girl in front of me.

"But who cares?" Biglang sigaw nito at tumayo. "Iyan naman ang goal ko eh, ang mawala siya sa buhay mo!" Sa lamesa na ito umupo habang nakatingin sa akin. "Wala ka ng magagawa pa. Anyway, you promised that you'll stay by my side. Ako ang pinili mo at hindi si August."

This person in crazy. How the hell didn't I notice it? Pero nandito na ako, ipagpapatuloy ko na lang ito.

"Kapag malaman nilang ikaw ang may pakana ng video na kumakalat ngayon, ikaw ang mapupunta sa pwesto ni August."

"That will never happen. You're not going to tell the truth, are you? May tiwala akong hindi mo gagawin ito sa akin."

I hid a smile. I'm not going to be as petty as she is right now. Lihim kong tinignan ang ball pen na dala ko ngayon. Bigay ito ni tita Ema. This is not just a simple ball pen; it has a recorder, and I recorded everything she said.

"I forgot I have something to attend to," tumayo ako at kinuha ang notebook nito. "Ako na bahala sa assignment mo. I'll give it to you by tomorrow. You can go home."

"P-pero, Claud!"

"Stop calling me that. Only August can call me that," supladang sabi ko and look at her sharply. "Don't invalidate my decision, Eva. I just let you because..."

"Because what? Babalik ka ba sa babae'ng iyon? Ano ba'ng meron kay August? Bakit patay na patay ka sa kanya? She's not even aware of her own self! Dahil lang ba nagustohan ka na nang babae'ng matagal mo ng gusto ay hindi mo na siya papakawalan?"

"Labas ka na rito. Don't ask." Walang gana kong sagot.

"No! Wake up, Claudelle! She doesn't swing the same way like us! Ever since, mga lalaki ang nagugustohan nya! She's just confused right now. A day will come iiyak ka dahil sa pagiging padalos-dalos mo!"

"You don't know anything!"

"It's you who doesn't know anything here! Nabulag ka lang sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya kaya at nagiging foggy na ang pag-iisip mo!"

I can't find anything to say. Minasahe ko na lang ang noo ko sabay tingin sa kanya. Matagal ko ng pino-problema ang bagay na iyan. It already came in my mind na baka takot lang si August malayo ako. Na baka hindi pagmamahal ang nararamdaman nya para sa akin. But I don't care!

It may sound selfish, but as long as I can hug, kiss, and feel her warmth, I don't care about anything else. I'll stay, even if a puzzle piece that I addressed as mine is gone..

"Get out!" Mariin na utos ko at tinignan siyang walang kabuhay-buhay.

Wala na siyang magawa pa dahil masama ko na siyang tinignan. Umirap lang ito at naglakad na papalabas sa study room namin. Nakasunod lang ako sa likod nya habang binabaybay namin ang daan papalabas ng bahay. Nakita ko pa si papa na lihim na pinagmamasdan kaming dalawa ni Eva.

Nang nasa labas na kami ay hindi nag iba ang reaksyon ng aking mga mata.

"Hindi mo ba ako ihahatid?" Kunot-noo nitong tanong. "Can you just pretend that you care for me?"

I heave a deep sigh and was about to turn around and leave her outside, but she suddenly grabbed my arms.

"What?" Iritadong tanong ko.

"Hindi mo talaga ako pinapahalagahan 'no? Hindi ka man lang ba mag-aalala sa akin?"

I will never fall into the trap the second time around. Hindi na ako magpapa-uto pa sa kanya. Ginawaran ko lang siya ng isang matamis na ngiti. "Nagawa mo'ng pumunta sa amin nang mag-isa, then kaya mo ring umuwi sa inyo mag-isa."

Tumalikod na ako at sinarado ang gate ng bahay para hindi na siya makapasok pa. Kinuha ko ang ball pen na nasa bulsa ko lang, kaagad lumabas ang malapad na ngiti sa mga labi ko nang pagmasdan ito.

Konting tiis na lang August, magiging okay na rin ang lahat. Just wait for me.

- BM -

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