Chapter 54
Emma's POV
I stared at Levi, speechless.
"So you're gay?" I asked, finally. "Honestly, I'm not so sure, I mean, I'm sure I like Theo, but I still think I could be able to have feelings for girls as well." Levi said.
I nodded slowly. What should I say?
I knew Theo wasn't gay, And he is dating Becky, he loves her.
"Ugh, Emma, what should I do?" He groaned, burying his face in a pillow. "I feel guilty for liking someone who is already taken, plus I don't think I'll ever be able to come out" he said. "You told me though" I said.
"Yeah, but what about my parents? What about.. everyone! Besides you of course." He said, looking up at me. "Damnit I'm a horrible person" he said.
"No you're not a horrible person, infact you're an amazing and caring person, plus it's okay, its not like you can control your feelings and you're confused with your feelings right now, but in the end, you'll know what you want to do." I say, rubbing his back.
"So have you thought of university yet?" He asked me, completely changing the subject. "Yeah, since I was a kid actually, I want to go to UCLA" I said.
His jaw dropped but then he quickly smiled.
"I heard that place is great, but I want to go to Yale" he informed me. "That's a good uni too, and you're smart, it won't be difficult for you to get in, I'm sure they won't reject you" I said.
"Thanks Emma" he smiled. "Why did you react like that when I told you I want to go to UCLA?" I asked. "Uh, no reason, just surprised.." He said, scratching the back of his neck.
"You really expect me to believe that?" I asked, with a raised brow. He shook his head. "It's just, a while back, Brendon told me he wants to go to UCLA too.." he said, as I froze.
"Damn, my life can't get worse can it?" I said, rubbing my temples.
"Maybe everything will turn out okay, between you and Brendon" Levi said, as I almost burst out laughing.
Just as I was going to say something, I saw Becky calling me on the screen of my phone.
I picked my phone up and answered it." Uh hello?" I said.
"B*tch You scared me half to death, I was so worried damnit, are you okay right now? Where are you? I've been searching everywhere! I even went to your house and Levi's" she said.
"I'm so sorry, I'm at Levi's house and I was watching a movie I had no idea you called, but im okay"I said.
"Oh okay, you sure Emma?" She asked. "Yeah, It's prom night, go have fun" I said.
I heard her sigh, "okay, stay safe, I'll see you soon" she said. "Okay bye, have fun" I said.
Damn it, this is all my fault.
You're a bother
You're friends are missing prom all because of you.
You should go die
No one wants you alive
I turned up the notification volume on my phone so I would know if anyone texted me or called.
Just then Becky called me again.
"Hello?" I said. "Emma, It's Brendon, are y-" Brendon spoke as I quickly moved the phone away from my ear and ended the call.
"Who was it? I mean, I know the first person who called was Becky but who was the second?" He asked. "Brendon, he used Becky's phone to call" I said, with a sigh.
"Of course he did" Levi rolled his eyes. Just then his phone started ringing.
"Who is it?" I asked. "It's Brendon, I'll answer and pretend you're not with me, because if I don't, he will know you're with me and he will probably come here" he said.
I nodded as Levi answered his phone.
"Hey" Levi said casually. "Nope, I dropped her off at her house, she said she wants to be alone" Levi said. "No, don't go to her, are you dumb? After what you did tonight, ruining her f*cking prom night, you can't just go and apologize" Levi said, rolling his eyes.
"Just give her some time to cool off dude, And you better think of an amazing way to make it up to her, anyway I gotta go help my mom prepare dinner" he said, ending the call.
"Well, wanna get some sleep?" Levi asked. "Sure" I said, laying down, covering myself with the blanket.
---------
Next day:
I slowly opened my eyes and rubbed them. I sat up. I looked around and realized Levi wasn't next to me anymore.
I yawned and got off the seat and walked out of the theatre room.
I tied my hair up in a bun as I walked to the kitchen. "Levi?" I called out as I got to the kitchen. "Morning Emma" Levi said, closing the fridge.
"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked. "Uh anything, I don't mind" I said. "Toast with nutella?" He asked. "Sure" I agreed.
Levi put a frypan on the stove and put some butter. He lit the fire and after melting the butter, he put 2 toasts on the pan.
I sat down at the kitchen island, as Levi's phone vibrated. "Hey Emma? Can you check the message on my phone?" He asked.
I opened the text message. "Uh, It's from Philip, he said there is a party at Ryan's house tonight and he is asking if you want to come" I said. "I don't mind, tell him I'll come" he said, as I nodded and typed the text and sent it to Philip.
"Can I come with you?" I asked Levi. "Sure" he said. "I'll drop you off at home after breakfast and come pick you up at like uh 11" he said. "Okay, thanks" I said.
"Don't mention it" He walked over to the kitchen island with two plates, each plate had 2 toasts.
"Thanks" I said. He just smiled and sat down infront of me and started eating.
-------
"Dad? You home?" I asked, walking into my house. " I guess not" I mumbled to myself.
I went up to my room and hung up my dress in my closet, probably never going to wear it again.
I sighed, and looked at my watch. It was still 1 pm.
10 more hours left.
I grabbed my computer and started watching the series of Unforgettable.
..
"One last episode and I'll get ready for the party" I said to myself, clicking on the next episode.
Suddenly, my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered the phone.
"Hey Emma, I have to get to the party a little earlier so I'll come an hour earlier, which means in 40 minutes" he said. "Wait in 40 minutes?! I look like a mess right now, Okay, see you later, I got to get ready " I said, I heard Levi chuckle, just before I hung up.
I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom and washed my face.
I re tied my hair and walked to my closet.
I picked out my light grey spaghetti strapped crop top, fishnet tights, black ripped jeans and my black jacket.
I changed into the outfit I picked out and put on my Dr.Marten combat boots as well.
I used a flat iron and straightened my hair. Then I went on to the make up part.
Soon after, I stood infront of my mirror to check if I was finally ready. My black hair went down to my chest, my smoky eye make up made my dull blue eyes seem a little less dull.
I checked my alarm clock. I had 5 minutes before Levi came to pick me up. I quickly opened a book And started reading, so that I wouldn't start thinking about sh*t.
Levi's car honked outside. I grabbed my phone and ran down the stairs.
I hopped into his car and put on my seatbelt. "hey" I said. "Hey princess, you look great" he said, driving out of the drive way.
Lies.
He doesn't actually mean it.
You're ugly.
You'll never be pretty.
Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?!
"Emma, you alright?" Levi asked, thankfully the voices shut up. "Hm? Yeah, I'm okay" I said as he nodded.
"By the way, don't drink to much, even if you're upset" Levi said.
"Okay" I said, simply. Knowing I'm lying.
"So, what did you do all day?" Levi asked. "I watched Unforgettable, finished a season 2, almost half way done with season 3" I said.
"Oh wow, why am I not surprised?" He said, with a small chuckle, as I laughed as well.
"I can't believe we are almost done with highschool, in like a month and a few weeks" I said. "I know right" he agreed.
"I hope we all get accepted to the uni we want to go to" he said. "Ugh yup" I said, groaing.
"Okay, we are here, call me if you need anything" he said,as we got out of his car. "Okay, have fun" I said.
Levi jogged up to a group of guys, And I just went straight to the kitchen.
I grabbed the Whiskey bottle and poured it into a red solo cup, filling it up to the top of the cup.
F*ck life right?
I put the bottle down and brought the cup to my lips. I swallowed the cold, burning liquid as it left a familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat.
I walked out to the backyard where everyone was dancing, and some people were in the pool.
I started dancing and drank more and more. Soon I was holding a bottle of Vodka while dancing.
Next thing that I know is that I'm in the pool, the bottle was no longer in my hand, neither was my jacket with me and I was sitting on a guy's shoulders.
Another guy was standing in the water infront of me with another girl on his shoulders. "Chicken fight" Everyone around us yelled.
The guy I was on started walking forward as the other girl tried to push me off. I laughed and tried to push her off as well.
Soon, her hands were in mine, as we tried to push eachother off, while the guys were trying to stay balanced under us.
Finally, I used all my might and pushed the girl off the guy and everyone around us cheered as I put my arms up and laughed.
I got off the guy and climbed out of the pool and went to the kitchen and got another bottle that wasn't completely full.
I went back out to the backyard to dance.
Suddenly, a guy with dirty blonde hair caught my attention.
Brendon.
My heart felt like it had shattered into a million smaller pieces when I realized he had his lips on other girl.
I've had enough. It's not fair. Without thinking, I walked up to them and pushed the girl off as she starts yelling at me but I ignored her.
I pushed Brendon, as he realized what was happening.
"You can't just do that! You can't just kiss me then go around kissing anyone you fucking want. You d*ckhead. Why do you just love to see me suffer? I'm already broken, stop trying to destroy me completely! Damnit" I yelled at him, giving him a last shove before knocking back some more vodka.
I was dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out any second but I forced myself to stay strong.
I turned away to get the hell out of this place. I could hear Brendon calling after me, But I didn't look back, I kept walking and soon, all I could hear was the loud music blasting into my ears.
I kept walking towards the front door, bumping into some things and people on the way.
I was finally out of the house and looked at my bottle of vodka. I was too dizzy to see how much of the liquor was left in the bottle so I just chugged it all down my throat.
I walked down the dark street. My shoes kept making squeaky noises from when I was in the pool.
I shook the bottle and realized I finished it, so I threw it at a tree and it shattered, the glass pieces falling onto the grass.
My throat was burning and it hurt, alot. My head was throbing and hurt so much as well.
But I didn't care.
It all hurt so much. I'm done. Physically and mentally.
I kept walking, taking random turns and soon I got to a bridge.
I took out a cigarette and lit it, then took a drag.
I dragged my fingers along the metal fence of the bridge, looking out into the dark water.
As I brought the cigarette to my lips again, I realized my cheeks were wet, meaning I was crying.
I didn't even bother wiping away the tears e they continued to stream down my cheeks.
"I hate myself" I yelled out at nothing. "And I hate you too mom! You just left me like that!" I yelled, falling down onto the cold ground.
By now I was sobbing loudly. My hiccups were getting louder and it was annoying.
"I'm sorry mom and dad, I'm such a failure, a f*cked up teenager who can't do anything right. I'm sorry for not making you proud, you guys deserve a better daughter. And maybe if I wasn't here, you would be still alive mom" I said, still not getting off the ground.
I got off the ground and looked up at the moon, then at the water.
"I need to drink more" I mumbled, walking back towards the party.
I walked, and walked. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I was going in the right direction.
I threw my second cigarette on the ground and took out another one.
I looked around to see where the hell I was and thought I saw a familiar house. I walked up to it, squinting my eyes from how blurry my vision was.
The grass looked comfy all of a sudden and I plopped down.
I laid down, staring up at the dark sky.
I knew I stopped crying. It felt like all my emotions were drained out of me. I felt empty and numb.
I felt nothing.
I felt something vibrating in my pocket and I knew it was my phone.
"Hello?" I answered the phone. "Emma! It's me Brendon, where the hell are you? Can we talk please" I heard Brendon's voice yell.
"Brendon did I ever tell you, how much you hurt me? How I once cut myself because of you?" I slurred.
I didnt hear anything else. It was silent. "Hello? Are you dead?" I asked. "Emma, where are you, are you okay?" He asked. "Am I okay?! No I'm not okay, But do you care? Clearly you don't. So leave me alone!" I yelled, ending the call and throwing it on the grass next to me.
I should go now, I need to drink some more. I threw my cigarette at what looked like a pile of wood that was behind me next to a tree.
I got up and walked towards the house. I surprisingly sobered up a little bit. I could walk a little more properly, and see where I was going.
Finally, I was at the house, and some people stared. Why are they staring?
I went up the stairs and went in the bathroom, closing the door and locking it.
I looked at the mirror and realized what happened.
All my make up was smeared on my cheeks and I looked like a mess.
I looked around quickly and found some make up removing soap.
I washed my face then walked out of the bathroom. On the way to the kitchen, I suddenly felt dizzy again.
I couldn't feel my legs and I thought I was about to throw up.
I tried to shake away the feeling but soon, everything was getting darker and darker then everything was black.
----------
Next morning:
I groaned as I sat up in my bed. Wait when and how did I get here?
Last time I checked, I was at the party..
I shrugged and walked out of my room and towards the kitchen.
Ugh. Stupid hangovers. My head was killing me.
I opened one of the cabinets and took out 2 pills and got some water as well.
"How was the party last night?" My dad asked, as I walked to the living room, after taking the pills.
"It was okay" I said, sitting down next to my dad on the couch.
He was watching the news.
I sipped on my water, staring out the window.
"Last night there was a fire in Roseville Ave. a mansion was burnt down, there were no witnesses. No one knows how the fire started but the search still goes on, some say it was a cigarette but no one is sure. Sadly, 911 wasn't there on time,a man in his late 40s named Russel Jonz died in the fire" The new reporter said.
I chocked on my water as the memories of last night flooded back.
Wait what?
I shifted my gaze at the tv and all the blood drained from my face when I realized what house I had burnt down.
Brendon's.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Heyyyyyy everyone!
I finally got the time to post a new chapter. I know, it's been aggggesss. But seriously, my life is pretty crazy right now and I barely have time to write.
I did make this chapter a bit longer than the others tho, So don't hate me too much XD
Plus the internet sucks.
Anyway, what do y'all think bout the cliff hanger?
I told you to prepare yourselves. I hope you were ready for that.... BUT I'm sorry, cuz the next chapter will be even worse...
Vote and Comment!
Love you guys~
-Sarah
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro