A/N: hope you guys like the new book cover!

RIP old cover..

Emma's POV

"Need a ride home?" Brendon asked as the last bell rang, finally.

"Yeah, Eric has basket ball practice with Levi or something" I shrug, and he nods.

We walk out of the school and to the parking area. We go to Brendon's car and I sat down in the passengers' seat.

"You uh feeling better..after what happened today?" Brendon asked, as I nodded.

Of course that was a lie, how the crap would I be okay after what happened.

"You don't look okay" he states. I fake a smile at him "See I'm fine" I say as he frowns.

"What?" I ask. "Stop faking it, you're real smile is way prettier" he says as my cheeks heat up.

But I refuse to believe him, if I was pretty, everyone would like me, I wouldn't get bullied, I wouldn't feel worthless.

And plus,  how can I smile, when barely anything makes me happy?

After a while, we finally arrive at my house and I open the door to leave, when Brendon grabbed my wrist.

I winced in pain and turned around to look at him with a smile, but screaming on the inside.

I can not let him find out I cut myself again.

"Want me to stay?" Brendon asked. "No, its okay, I need to study for my uh test tomorrow anyways" I shook my head and forced a smile.

He frowned again."I said stop the fake smiling, smile for real." He scolds me.

I roll my eyes." Okay, okay I'll try" I say, even though I knew I wasn't going to, because even if I try, it turns into a fake smile, its like I don't even know how to smile for real anymore.

I mean yes, I was quite happy for a few months but as usual, everything comes crashing down when I finally think I am happy again.

I got out of the car and jogged towards the front door then  waved.

Brendon waved back then drove away.

I sighed, and unlocked the house and walked in.

I trudged upstairs, dragging my bag along with me and went into my room and shut the door with my back.

I stood there for a moment then headed to the bathroom.

I went infront of the mirror and looked at myself.

I looked disgusting.

I rolled my sleeves and looked at the cuts through the mirror.

I took off my shirt to take a shower but then slid down on the floor and burst into tears.

My hands tugged on my hair, I wanted to pull all my hair out, the voices in my head wouldn't f*cking shut up.

I sat there crying, until I suddenly heard someone banging on the bathroom door.

"Emma! Are you okay? Open the door? Whats wrong?" Someone said, continuing to bang on the door.

I slowly got up and put on my shirt again, and opened the door.

Brendon was standing there with a worried look as he pulled me into a hug straight away and I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

He smelled good.

It's funny, Brendon was there for me more than Eric ever was.

Even when we were just bestfriends, it wasn't like this honestly. He never knew how depressed I was, he never knew when I faked a smile, or acted happy, just to cover up the fact that I'm dying on the inside.

He didn't even know I cut.. and still doesn't.

"Emma, it's okay to ask for help, its not good to bottle up all your feelings" Brendon whisphered, rubbing my back soothingly.

"No one can help me" I whisphered.

"I can, if you let me" he said.

I shook my head." No, you don't deserve to be dragged into my f*cked up life"

"Emma, I promise I'll never go, I'll help you, I'll always be here" Brendon said.

"Heard that many f*cking times" I say, knowing its a lie.

People shouldn't make promises they can't keep.

"Emma, I'm telling you, I won't ever leave. I'll help you and never give up trying" Brendon said.

"Oh, trust me you will" I say, tearing up again.

"I won't" Brendon argued.

"Brendon, I used to go to therapy sessions, for a whole f*cking year, and guess what the therapist said after that.. she said maybe life isn't for everyone" I croak out.

"Im broken, I cant be fixed, I tried, really hard, nothing can fix me."I shook my head ans pushed Brendon off of me.

"Emma, that therpist is wrong, don't listen to her" Brendon said, coming closer to me.

"Stop, leave me alone, I cant drag you into my f*cked up life, you don't deserve it, I dont deserve anyone, I dont deserve to be alive!" I yelled.

"So go, get out leave me alone!" I kept yelling.

Brendon didn't move for a moment but then just came closer to me and wrapped his arm around me again tightly, as I fell to the floor, with Brendon.

I tried to get out of his grip but he didn't let go, so I just gave in  and held onto him and kept on crying.

He lifted one arm, rubbing my head and kissed the top of my head.

"You know, you're the first person I've ever opened up to like the first day we met, its funny how I just told you everything- well some things" I say, after sobering up.

Brendon stayed silent not saying anything. "Well, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here" Brendon said, and for the first time, I actually believed him.

" Want to watch a movie?" Brendon asked. I nodded.

We walked downstairs to the kitchen. Brendon sat down at the kitchen island as I started to make some popcorn. " Want to try eating popcorn with nutella?" I asked. He raised a brow.

"Sure..you do that? Does it taste good?" He asked. " Yup, tastes amazing, I used to do it all the time, just put some nutela in a bowl and micro wave it and then drizzle it over the popcorn." I inform him. " Cool, I'll try some" He said.

" Oh, did Eric text me while I was sleeping?" I asked, checking my pocket, not feeling my phone though. " Yeah, I texted him and said that you were going to take a nap, and he said okay." Brendon informed me.

" I'm guessing he doesn't know you're here?" I asked, chuckling. " You know it. I mean, what kind of boyfriend goes to basket ball training instead of taking care of his girlfriend after a day like this?" He said, sounding a bit pissed.

I shrugged. "I don't know, but its fine, I have you here with me." He smiled. "Yeah, and I'll never leave." He said.

I raised a brow. " No, not like that, I mean that I'll always be here for you when you need me." He said, rolling his eyes. " I know, thanks" I say, sincerely.

We walked to the couch with the popcorn in my hand."So? What movie?" Brendon asked.

"Uh.. Ghost in the Shell?" I suggested. "Sure, I heard its pretty creepy though" Brendon said.

"Nah, its fine. I've got you to protect me dont I?" I said, laughing afterwards.

"Is miss.I-have-a-boyfriend trying to flirt with me?" Brendon smirked. "In your dreams" I shake my head.

We put the movie on and sat on the couch.

Through out the movie, we were stuffing our faces with popcorn, and also throwing popcorn at each other.

We ended up having a popcorn fight, and missed alot of the movie, but it didn't matter, since I had fun.

I was kind of hurt that Eric didn't bother even checking on me, after what happened today, he decided to go to basket ball try out thing.

A month later...(yes, a month later)

I was currently getting ready for a date with Eric, he told me to wear something casual and comfortable.

So I put on a really light grey sweater with fishnet tights and riped jeans, and my black converse. I straightened my curly hair and put on some lipgloss and smoky eye shadow.

I looked at the mirror, satisfied with how I looked, I went downstairs and sat on the couch to wait for Eric.

"Emma? Where are you going to go?" My dad coming in the living room with a mug of I don't really know what, probably coffee.

"I'm going on a date with Eric" I say. "Okay, well before you leave, uh- I made this for you" My dad said, giving me the mug."uh..thanks?" I said, knowing something is up, my dad only does the awkwardest things when he is hiding something.

I take the mug from his hand and took a sip and realized it was my dad's famous hot chocolate,  that me and my mom used to love drinking.

My dad took a seat on the couch.

"Okay dad, spit it out, what's up? What you hiding?" I asked, getting tired of the silence.

"Okay, you see.. uh remember Avery?" I nodded" well you see, I don't know how to say this but.. I wanted to ask you, if it would be okay if I uhh married Avery" My dad said quickly.

You see, this is my dad, he doesn't ask his kids anything the normal way, he just goes like ' can I marry her' like its freaking my choice.

And the fact that my dad can't come up with a good way of saying things.

"You love her that much already dad?" I asked, smiling. Even though, no one could ever replace my mom, Avery was really nice, we spend time together sometimes, and its pretty fun.

I guess I wouldn't mind her as my step-mom..

"Yeah, she makes me happy, and you know I haven't felt this way in a long time" my dad said, nodding his head a bit."well, honestly dad, if she makes you happy, and you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with her, I won't say no, and even if I do, its not like I can stop you from proposing to her." I said, with a chuckle.

"Yeah, well I mean, if you said no, then I'll probably wait a bit longer of course" he said, with a smile and pulling me into a hug.

"Soo, you going to show me the engagement ring or what?" I said, when my dad finally let go of me." Oh yeah, sure" he said, taking out a small red box and opened it.

There was a thin golden ring with a diamond in the middle and a few small diamonds on the sides.

"Its so pretty dad!" I exclaimed, not taking my gaze off the ring. It was truly beautiful.

"Glad you like it, now let's hope Avery will too" he said, closing the box and putting in on the coffee table, as I noticed a necklace.

It...its my parents' wedding rings, they were joined together into a necklace and the diamond from my mom's engagement ring was in the center.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot," my dad said, picking up the necklace" this is for you, I took the rings to the jewerly store and got it made this way for you to keep." He said, as my mouth fell open.

I couldn't stop staring at it." Mom always hated gold" I chuckled shaking my head, remembering the time my dad told me about how his proposal went.

My mom said yes, but she admitted that she hated the color gold, and apologized about how she never told my dad. My dad then got new engagement rings and yeah, for that reason, their wedding rings are silver.
"She sure did" my dad said, with a small smile.

"Thanks dad, I love it" I say, as I turn around so my dad can help me put on the necklace. Just then the bell rang and I got up.

"Go on, have fun in your date" My dad smiled." I will" I say, before going to the front door and leaving.

Eric was standing on the porch with two red roses in his hand, and gave them to me.

"You look beautiful Emma" he said, "thanks" I say, feeling my cheeks burning.

We went in his car and the car ride was silent." Where we going, you never told me" I say, as he shakes his head" I'm not goig to tell you obviously" he said with a chuckle.

I groaned but didn't ask again, knowing Eric won't tell me.

After around 30 minutes, we stopped, in the middle of a forest." Are you going to kill me?" I asked." Why would you even think that?" He asked, annoyed. "I'm joking, I know you won't" I say.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me deeper into the forest until we somehow came to an end, and there was a cliff.

There were big bean bags, blankets and pillows with a small table with food.

Eric led me to the beans bags and I plopped down, covering myself with the blanket, getting comfortable.

He sat down next to me," look up at the sky Emma" he said, pointing up.

I look up to see stars everywhere, I've never seen stars so clearly before. "Remember when we were 13 and you kept complaining about how you never got to see stars clearly at night, well I remembered and thought why not bring you here, its the best spot near to your house for star gazing" he said, with a big smile.

"They are so pretty, and I can't believe you remembered!" I said, smiling as well."Of course I remembered,  anyway you want to eat?" He askes, pulling the small table nearer to us.

"Yeah su- oh my god is that an oreo milkshake- and oreo cupcake and nutella crepe with strawberries and- Oh my god, best date ever"I exclaimed as I observed the small table.

"I'm glad you like it" he said, chuckling." Like it? I love it" I say, with a grin, takig the oreo off the whipe cream on the milkshake and eating it.

We ate and talked about colleges and our future, its funny because I never thought I'd be talking about school and stuff on a date, but I didn't really care, as long as Eric was with me.

So far, it was a great date.

We were currently in the car, heading home. Tomorrow was Saturday so we domt have school, maybe Eric can stay over a bit.

We arrived after a while and he got out of the car with me.

On the porch, he gave me a goodnight kiss and was about to leave." Hey, you want to stay a bit?" I asked. "Nah, sorry babe, I can't I have to wake up early for basket ball thing at school" he said, with an apologetic smile."oh ok, its fine, goodnight" I said, and going into the house.

I guess its just me and movies tonight. Actually, I'll stick with the tv series of New Girl.

Too lazy to make popcorn, I walked up to my room and got changed, then grabbed my computer and plopped down on the bed and started season 2, since I've already watched season 1.

*******
Morning:

I woke up with feeling someone drag something on my face.

I open my eyes to find Levi standing there, holding a marker.

My eyes widened, as I realized what was happening." Levi!" I yelled as I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to find a mustache and stars all over my face.

I washed my face with water and soap, thankfully, he hadn't used a permanent marker, because that would have been impossible to take off.

I stomped out to find Levi smiling sheepishly."hey princess"he said, slowly backing up to the door.

"Oh no, you don't" I yelled,as he darted out of my room, rushing downstairs to the kitchen.

He stood on the other side of the kitchen island from me and I smirked.

I ran around it, and Levi did the same.

Now I was on the other side, near the sink.

Quickly I stepped back a bit and turned on the tap water and took a step forward again, as Levi raised his brow.

I ran around again, trying to catch Levi but then we ended up facing each other , and the kitchen island separating us.

What Levi didn't know, is that when we were running around the island, I took a cup and put it in the sink, and now it was filling up with water.

"Princess, you know you're never going to catch me" he sang as I backed up a bit and before he realized, I quickly turned around, grabbed the cup and spashed the water on Levi.

He was half-soaked in water, he was lucky the island was between us to kind of protect him, because if it wasn't,  he would look like he had a shower with his clothes on.

"Guess what,  I don't need to" I said, walking over to Levi, who was glarring at me, I went on my tip toes and patted his head and headed on to the living room.

"I'm going to get a towel from the bathroom" Levi said, galring at me I plastered a smile on my face and nodded.

I checked the time. It was 1 in the after noon. This is what happens when I watch a whole season in one night, well I would actually wake up at around 3 but thanks to Levi.

Just then, I heard the doorbell ring, as I got up to see who it was.

I opened the front door to find Eric there." Hey" he said. "Hi" I said with a smile." Can we talk?" He asked.

I nodded, letting him come in the house.

"So.. um what did you want to talk about?" I asked, feeling quite nervous for some reason.

"Uh, you see- you know what, I'll just get straight to the point..um I think we should break up" he said.

What?
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Hey everyone!! Im so so so so so so so sooo sorry for not updating in so long, but you see, finals are starting soon so I have to study my ass off. So I'll probably not be able to update for around a week or two, but I promise I will write whenever I have the time too and try to update as soon as possible. And afterwards, I'll make sure to update often, since after the finals, its summmmer.

My fingers are legit numb, because ive been typing fast for the past 2 and half hour.

Ok, I'm going to go now study for math, because I loveee math ( note the sarcasm)

Vote and Comment!

Bye

-Sarah