(A/N: This chapter is pretty important. There is a part of self harm though, but its only like 4-5 sentences, anyway if that might disturb you in any way, I'll warn you when you get to the part.)

Emma's POV

I wake up with a terrible headache, I shot out of bed and ran to my bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

What happened?

I shake my head and dragged myself back to bed, on the way, I stubbed my toe on something.

I let out a small scream and grabbed my toe, and looked down.

My black box.

My old cigarettes were out and wha-

I remember now...I got drunk, I opened the box and started smoking..

Then who called?

I went to my bed side table and picked up my phone, I went to my logs and looked at the call yesterday- wait what time is it?

3:48 am.

Hm, besides the missed calls from Eric, Brendon called, which means he was the one that called me, then um came over and then I fell asleep.

I looked over at my black box, and picked it up, along with my lighter and ciggerette box.

I stared at the items in my box, something was missing..

My eyes widened as I realized what they were.

My razor blades were missing, Brendon must have seen it and threw it away.

I don't cut anymore, I just keep it as a memory, I don't even know why honestly. I just shrugged and threw my box under my bed again.

Oh god, I just realized I had skipped a whole day of school, and the first day of school.

Never in my entire life did I think I was going to skip a whole day of school. Let alone the first day of school.

I looked at my bed side table again, and found asprin and a cup of water. I swallowed the pill then drank some water.

I plopped back down on my bed and decided to sleep and go to school tomorrow.

-------

Morning:

"Good mornin dad" I say, entering the kitchen.My dad looks up from his news paper and glares at me. "I got a call from school, you skipped yesterday, why?" He said with a super serious tone.

Sh*t, I forgot.

"Uh..-" I was cut off by a car honking outside. My dad sighed, " Go, and don't skip ever again, I'm letting you off the hook only this time since, I have to admit, I skipped once in a while when I was your age too" My dad said, chuckling afterwards.

I forced a smile and walked out of the house. I saw Eric in his car, I ran over and slid into the passengers' seat.

"Hey, I heard from Brendon what happened yesterday.. why Emma, you promised not to smoke again.." He said, he looked really hurt.

I looked down at my hands, "I'm sorry." I say, it was all I could say, I didn't have an excuse, if I said it helped me calm down, to left all the stress out, he will say that it isn't an acceptable excuse, and if I say I was drunk, then I'm lying.

" I just- you know what smoking can do to you, it can kill you Emma, please for me, just try not to get addicted again." Eric pleaded. I bit my bottom lip.

I finally nodded and he pecked my lips, then started the car.

We got out of the car and headed towards our lockers, hand in hand.

We went to my locker, and found Becky and Jessica already there.

Becky rushed over and pulled me into a hug, " What's wrong with you Emma, why did you just leave like that and scare me half to death! You never skip, especially the first day of school, and you couldn't even leave me a text?" Becky exclaimed, glaring at me.

"Sorry" I said. " Its okay" Becky said, with a grin and I forced a smile as well.

"Hey Emma" Jessica said, giving me a side hug, " I need to go to class so I'll see you guys at lunch" Jessica said and waved, walking away. " I gotta go too, I'll see you in English, bye Emma, bye Eric." Becky said and walked away as well.

" I'll go get my books from my locker, wait for me here" Eric whisphered in my ear and kissed my cheek and I nodded.

He left and I opened my locker to get my own books, the hallways were getting quite empty now, since Eric's locker was in another hallway, it was completely empty now.

Just then someone spun me around and pushed me against the lockers as I fell down on my knees, pain shooting down my spin.

I looked up to find Jesse," Don't think I forgot about my threat darling" He said, with an evil smirk. " Leave me alone Jesse" I snap back at him.

"Maybe you should just die, no one wants you alive, even your weak mommy killed herself, why not do the same? You're worthless and ugly, you don't deserve to live" He spat out, looking directly into my eyes.

How did he know about my mom..

Jesse just walked away as I just sat there staring at him walking away, he was right, I don't deserve to be here, I'm worthless, and ugly.

I mean we are all going to die anyway, why not just die now?

But I can't just leave my dad.

I slowly picked myself up and shut my locker, just then, heard someone running towards me, I turned to see Eric running up to me with his books in his hands.

" Hey Babe, sorry I took long, I was searching for this book and figures it was in my bag the whole time" He chuckled." Hey you okay, you look like you just saw a ghost, are you sick, why are you so pale, what happened?" Eric asked, all of sudden looking extremely worried.

" I'm fine, just tired" I lie as the bell rang" I'll be late, got to go" I say, and pecked his lips and ran towards homeroom.

I got in late, but Ms.Avery seemed busy, texting on her phone, I bet my dad..

I snuck over to the back, and sat down at a desk that was next to the window.

I avoided eye contact with Levi adn Brendon, but a few moments later, Levi came and sat down next to me," Hey princess, I heard what happened, you feeling better?" He asked.

" Why are you guys asking me that as if I just came out of the hospital or something, I'm fine" I snap," I'm sorry, I'm just really tired" I say.

"It's okay, princess" He said, pulling me into a hug.

The rest of the class, consisted of Levi trying to cheer me up with his jokes and pickup lines, staring out the window,Brendon asking me endless questions, which I managed to avoid somehow, and trying to ignore the fact that Mackenzie was glaring and smirking at me from across the class.

I can't help but feel like she is up to something..

Oh god, what if she is helping Jesse?!

The bell rang and everyone started rushing out of class, to head to their next as I did the same after saying bye to Levi and Brendon.

I hurried to my next class, English, praying that I won't bump into anyone.

.............

Classes passed by like a blur and now it was lunch, I hurried towards the table where my friends sat at, gripping onto my book tightly.

" Hey guys" I said, taking a seat inbetween Eric and Brendon. " Hey girl" Becky answered, then turned to talk to Theo, who was right next to her.

I looked at Brendon who was having an arguement with Levi. Brendon facepalmed.

I chuckle and looked at Eric," What's up with them?" I ask," I don't know, they are trying to decide whether Grown ups or Grown ups 2 is better, it's stupid really" Eric shook his head.

" No, remember the part where Rob's super freaking hot daughters come to the lake house? And when Eric went on the rope thing and instead of jumping into the lake, he fell on a bird? An-" Levi was cut off by Brendon saying" No, all those parts suck- except yeah, they were pretty hot but still, in Grown Ups 2, when the college dudes made Lenny, Eric, Kurt and Marcus jump into the water naked and their kids saw them? And when Lenny came back home and they were eating, his son couldn't eat because he saw his dad's junk."

" Pff, still grown ups one is waay much better so shut up" Levi said, raising his voice." No you shut the f*ck up, grown ups two was way better and you f*cking know it" Brendon said back.

I started laughing and turned around to look at Eric who was laughing too.

" Everyone, may I have your attetion please" We heard Mackenzie's voice yell through a mega phone. I see everyone turn, even my friends, but I just ignore her, and opened my book to read.

" I'm sure all of you know who Emma Graces is" She paused, I froze, but didn't turn around.

" You all know that she is a stuck up nerd, doesn't have any friends and is seriously socially awkward. But what you don't know is that she is a murderer, she killed a woman. She killed her own mother" Mackenzie yelled through the mega phone as all eyes were on me, and I heard gasps around from everyone, except my friends.

I put down my book slowly and looked at Mackenzie, she was already looking at me." Her mother jumped off the light house around 10 years ago and its all because of Emma. Emma doesn't deserve anyone of our respect, she doesn't deserve to have any friends, she doesn't deserve being treated nicely, she doesn't deserve to live." Mackenzie went on and on, her focus not leaving my face.

Everything started getting blurry and I knew straight away that I was going to burst into tears any second," Mackenzie shut the f*ck up" Becky yelled. "Stop now!" Levi roared as well.

Eric just quickly put his arm around me, and startd whisphering things into my ear, trying to calm me down, but I couldn'y hear what he was saying.

" You see, Emma wants all of us to think that she is innocent and a good girl when actually she is an attention seeking fake b*tch who is currently Brendon and Levi's f*ck buddies."

I've had enough, I got up and started running towards the exit of the cafetaria, when suddenly, I fell face first on the ground and looked up to find Jesse glaring at me." Behold everyone, Emma Grace, the murderer, the fake, ugly, worthless, stupid, sl*t" Mackenzie said as I struggled to get up and looked at everyone, they were all whisphering and giving me weird looks and glares,l hear my friends yelling at me to come back , and saw them get up and running towards me, I spun around and darted out of the cafetaria and ran towards the stairs, I ran upstairs and went to the bathroom, and locked myself up in a cubicle.

( Warning- stop reading from here if self harm is disturbing for you, just keep scrolling and I'll inform you where the end of this part is.)

Luckily, I had my bag with me, and I unzipped my bag and starting searching for my old razor bade, I had one that I used to bring long ago, somewhere in here, I'm sure I didn't take it out.

I felt the cold metal touch my finger tips, as I pulled it out and rolled up my sleeves, my face was soaked with my tears, and they were flowing down my face endlessy.

I brought the blade up to my wrist with shaky hands, I closed my eyes and slit my wrist.

I kept going, one cut, two cuts, three cuts, kept going until I got to around 15. They weren't very deep but deep enough that its bleeding right now.

I roll up my other sleeve and got my razor blade again and started carving in words.

Ugly.

Worthless.

Murderer.

Slut.

Bitch.

I stopped knowing I ran out of places to cut, I dropped the blade on the floor and continued on crying.

( Okii, for those who skipped, you guys can start reading again :) )

Brendon's POV

Emma got up and starting running out of the cafeteria when I saw Jesse trip her, making her fall.

I got up and tried running to her, but she quickly got up and ran out, Eric and Jessica ran after her to look for her.

Becky decided not to go find her, and I knew what she was thinking, she was going to do something about this.

I wasn't going to let MacKenzie get away with this sh*t either, how did she even find out, what the f*ck.

The whisphers hasn't died down yet, but MacKenzie sat back down and started texting on her phone.

I stomped up to her and grabbed the mega phone off the table.

"What are yo-"

"Students of Blue Devils high, the things Mackenzie told you just now aren't true, besides the fact that Emma's mom did die, and it had absolutely nothing to do with Emma, you all are so f*cked up for trusting this b*tch here, everything she called Emma is meant for herself, Mackenzie is the fake b*tch here not Emma. You all have no idea what she's been through so don't go f*cking up her life even more, like what the f*ck, if your mom had died, would you like it if people blamed you?" I shouted as the whole cafetaria became silent.

"If anyone dares to say or do anything to Emma, you're going to f*cking regret your life." I said then went over to Jesse and punched him, then walked back to our table, not wanting to continue fighting.

Eric and Jessica had left to go find Emma, but Becky couldn't stand Mackenzie anymore.

"I'm going to f*cking kill her, slowly and painfully" Becky mumbled under her breath getting up to go to Mackenzie.

I grabbed her arm and shook my head. She pushed me back and continued on walking to Mackenzie.

"What the f*ck Mackenzie, you can't just go around f*cking up everyone's life just because you don't have one" Becky yelled at her face and Mackenzie just laughed.

"Im going to fucking rip all your hair out and make you eat every single f*cking strand" Becky yelled then punched her.

Makenzie let out a ear piercing high pitched scream.

That followed with a bunch of gasps around the cafeteria, seriously its so stupid that people actually like this b*tch.

Mackenzie got up and started pulling Becky's hair and Becky pushed her back then slapped her and straddled her and started punching her again.

Mackenzie obviously didn't stop screaming, I mean doesn't your throat f*cking hurt when you scream?

I was surprised a teacher hadn't already come in because of all the commotion.

When the bell rang, Becky got off of Mackenzie and came over to our table.

She picked up some tissues and wiped her bloody hands and plopped down.

"God, why do all girls just have to fight by pulling my f*cking hair" she exclaimed, running her hands through her hair.

Emma's POV

As soon as I heard the bell ring, I got up and cleaned up, washed my wrists, even though they stung then wiped the bloody ground and pulled my sleeves down, causing me to wince in pain.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom and headed towards my class, since I was late, no one was around.

I couldn't go home because my dad will get pretty pissed and I cant skip either.

I walk into my photography class.

"You're late" the teacher said, glaring at me. "No shit" I mumbled under my breath, walking towards my seat, which was next to Levi.

I plopped down and realized, no one was looking at me or whispering or giving me weird looks.

Did I miss something?

"Yup you did princess" Levi says.

Did I just say that out loud?

"Yup, and you just said that outloud as well." He said.

Before I could say anything else, he pulled me into a hug."I'm so sorry you had to go through that..where did you go after?" He asked me.

"Just sat in the bathroom" I shrugged.

"Anyways, you should have seen what Brendan and Becky did to Mackenzie, she started crying, and screaming like crazy" Levi said.

"Whoa-wait Becky- shit, please tell me she didn't beat Mackenzie up" I begged.

"Sorry but I'm pretty sure Mackenzie has a broken nose and two black eyes now.." Levi whisphered.

"F*ck" I mumble. "At least she'll probably never do sh*t to you again, right?"

I nodded slightly, wanting to believe him.

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Hey guyss, this chapter is just depressing but, yeah. Hope you guys liked it?

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byee

-Sarah🌻