“And I told them over and over! I just don’t understand what’s so hard to get about it! Ya’ know!? It’s just…elementary stuff!” Brian stopped to take a drink. I blinked a couple a’ times and put my hand on his.

 “Brian you’ve been talkin’ to me for ten minutes and I have absolutely no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” I said having made myself another drink. Veronica was laid over John’s lap. She and I had taken the liberty to clean up the kitchen earlier. It mostly looked like it did before we started cooking except for all the bottles everywhere.

 “I guess my main point is that there are times, Lydia that these three don’t seem to appreciate the advanced sciences the way I do! Do you appreciate the advanced sciences, Lydia?“ I took another drink…beyond puzzled. “Um…yeah?” I answered him not really knowing where the hell he was going with this. “ ‘Kay, Brian? I think…you’re a little drunk…but we all still think you’re the man. So, I’m gonna’ go get you another beer…and then I’m gonna’ get ready to color Roger’s hair…which I am very nervous about.” John was drinkin’ an orange soda and vodka, Freddie was finishin’ off the second bottle of Moet de Chandon and Veronica wasn’t drinkin’ anythin’ at the moment. I stood up, reaching my arms out to Roger, who was sitting in the floor. “The time has come, sweetheart…I gotta’ do this before I’m any drunker.” I admitted.

 “Oh! I’m so very excited!” Feddie said, his face lighting up.

 “I can’t believe you’re going to do this.” John said, laughing.

 “I have faith in you, Lydia! You’re gonna’ do a wonderful Job!” Veronica encouraged me. Still holding on to Roger, I lead him over to the barstool in the kitchen where he had been earlier. As promised, I got in the freezer to get another beer for Brian. “I’ll be right back.” I told Roger, walkin’ through the livin’ room, handing the beer over to Brian, and headin’ to the bedroom Roger and I were in. I needed to get some things for this. I turned on the light in the bedroom. I had my clothes hung up on the window frame across the room along with many other things simply layin’ in the floor. Roger’s things were…everywhere.

 There was nothing but a mattress on the floor in this room. Thank goodness it had a sheet, several pillows and a neatly folded blanket. It somewhat looked like a whirlwind had come through here. I turned the light on in the bathroom….which also looked like a whirlwind had come through it. I grabbed everythin’ I thought I would need: a hand towel, a full size towel, my hairbrush, a comb, shampoo, my leave-in spray, a handful of bobby pins, just in case and a hair dryer. “This should do it.” I thought to myself. I piled my hands full, turned out the bathroom light, turned out the bedroom light and headed back to the kitchen.

 “Oh my god! Look! She’s like her own salon, lovelies!” Freddie was beyond excited. John and Veronica laughed at me. Veronica had kept creeping farther onto his lap. Brian shook his head.

 “What if…what if this turns out awful? I mean…what it this just doesn’t work. I’m not questioning you, Lydia…I’m questioning the process.” Brian said.

 “Please, Brian! If it turns out awful she will fuck him senseless and it will be like nothing ever happened!” Freddie said lighting a cigarette.

 “So, what if it turns out really, really great?” John asked laughing.

 “She will fuck him senseless and it will be like nothing ever happened!” Freddie said again. I dumped all of my supplies onto the kitchen counter and picked up the box of color Veronica and I had purchased earlier.

 “Okay, just going to read over this here…” I turned the box over and leaned against Roger, feeling his arm around my waist, his fingers in the belt loop on my jeans. I looked over at him and began runnin’ my fingers through all that long hair. I picked it up in the back just to see exactly how the hell I was gonna’ do this. I parted it down the middle with the comb, still passin’ all that dark blonde through my hands as if I had never touched him before.  “So…what is it you want exactly?” I asked him, lettin’ my fingers graze his scalp. I pulled the loose strands out from under his necklace and pushed everythin’ to the front of his shoulders.

 “For you to never stop doin’ that.” He answered. “Aside from havin’ your hands on me, I really don’t care.” I leaned over and kissed him.

 “Alright…here goes…we’re gonna’ start with a shot.” I handed the bottle of Southern Comfort to Roger and proceeded to open the box. Immediately, I could tell there wasn’t enough foil strips in here. There were the other components: toner, ammonia bleach and an application brush…all starin’ back at me dauntingly. I laid them on the counter behind Roger and threw the hand towel over his shoulders. In my semi-drunken mind, I partially blamed Freddie for volunteering me for something I didn’t even know if I could do well. But I also knew Roger wanted me to do this. And so far in our relationship, anything Roger wanted…Roger got. Veronica would certainly accuse me of spoilin’ him.

 There was a pair of latex gloves I the bottom of the box. I pulled one out, slapping it onto my hand, followed by the other. “Oh what ever was that delightful slap!?” Freddie spun around to face myself and Roger. He had champagne in one hand , a cigarette in the other and a huge grin across his face. “My god! You’re wearing gloves, darling! And what kind of latex-laden adventures did you have planned for those!?” I heard John laugh stupidly at Freddie.

 “Freddie…you’re…you’re so horrible…” John’s laughter made Veronica laugh harder.

 “Shit, I think me an’ John are drunk.” She finally said.

 “What was your clue? The fact that you’re practically straddlin’ his lap or where his hands are right now?” Roger asked, lighting a cigarette. Veronica only laughed more.

 “Veronica, you are a precious drunk…as usual.” Brian said.

 “No I’m not…I haven’t undressed John yet!” She insisted through her laughter.

 “Oh dear…”Brian returned to his beer and rolled his eyes. I had searched underneath the sink to find some aluminum foil. I started tearing it into long strips and short strips, seeing as I would use what was in the box in about seven seconds. 

 “And you’re getting the foil out! You’re creative, Lydia!” Freddie continued harassing me. I ignored him and tore a few more pieces of foil into appropriate sizes. Next was to mix these chemicals up. I searched the cabinet for a bowl, finding one and emptying the contents of the package in it. I stirred it around with the brush.

 “That smells so strong.” Roger said turning around to see what I was up to.

 “Yes, it really does.” I watched Roger take a drag on his cigarette.

 “ 'Ey, Lyd…thanks for doing this.” He said.

 “Anythin’ for you, Rog.” I kissed his temple.

 “How long does this take anyway?” Brian asked.

 “Well, it’s virgin hair so the color will take really well…” Freddie cut me off in a fit of laughter.

 “Oh my god! Lydia! You are so funny! Virgin hair my arse! You…are…too much!” That one even sent John and Veronica over the edge.

 “God, it’s like saying….it’s like if I said Brian looooves meat!” And Veronica almost fell off John’s lap when she said it.

 “I don’t think that’s what she meant, Fred…but….oh my god that’s hysterical.” John laughed wildly. I had my face in my hand before leaning over and kissing Roger.

 “Hey! I have a brilliant idea….it’s called….SHUT THE HELL UP!” Roger yelled at Freddie before kissing me again.

 “…anyway about an hour!” I finished. I did my best to sound irritated even though I wasn’t. Roger took another drink from the bottle and handed it over to me.  I took a deep breath.

 “I’m gonna’ need a drink.” I took a big swig from the bottle of southern comfort and sat it aside. “Okay, I’m gonna’ hand you the long and the short sheets of the foil. The instructions say first a long, then a short. “Hey! I’m gettin’ ready to de-flower Roger!” I announced.

 “I want to see Roger touched for the very first time!” Freddie practically leapt over the back of the couch.

 “Wait! Hell, I’m not missin’ this!” Brian got out of his chair next.

 “Alright, we wanna’ see this too.” John and Veronica joined Freddie and Brian.

 “Okay, I’m gonna’ start right…here.” I held my hand out to Roger and he handed me the long foil sheet. With my comb, I pulled a thin section of hair away from his head.

 “My god, this feels so weird…” Roger laughed at me. And now the moment had arrived…I had barely touched the bleach covered brush to the top of his head when Freddie nearly howled with delight. Brian and John applauded this moment and Veronica cheered for this moment. I dragged the brush in a long painting motion down the strip I had pulled away.

 “Short one.” I held my hand over to Roger and he gave it to me. I placed it over the long foil strip, tucking the ends of his hair in and folded it up.

 “Lydia! For your first time, you are awfully relaxed!” he remarked before raising his eyebrows at me. He made his way back to the couch.

 “You know me Freddie…gotta’ relax or it hurts like hell.” I said working on the next strip. I knew that would generate a most obvious response.

 “Hey Veronica, remember the not-first time you and John…?” Veronica and John both cut him off as Brian returned to his chair.

 “No! No, Brian! Veronica and I have tried everything in our power to forget that!” John didn’t even give Veronica a chance to interject. But he still laughed. “God, you were soooo mortified…” It was all John said.

  “You okay?” I asked Roger. I had four foils done at this point.

 “Lyd, you could leave your hands on me all night and I would be fine.” He told me.

 “Mmmm…maybe I will…” was my soft response. “Rog…” I began.

 “Hmm?” he answered.

 “…I’ll leave more than my hands on ya’.” It may have been everything I had already had to drink influencing me, but it’s exactly what I had on my mind.