"Memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo."

M A R K

"Hey, that's the guy you told me about. The one who fell out the window," a voice whispered behind me. I didn't recognise the name on my list, so I turned around in my seat out of curiosity to see who had me as their project partner.

Then all hell broke loose inside my mind when I saw the girl I'd ran into last night staring down at her sheet in disgust. And to top that off, the blonde girl next to her did actually turn out to be the person who'd witnessed my quite literal downfall.

No no no no no, Tanni could not be my partner. I'd had enough humiliation and stress over the past few days and I wasn't gonna do this with her. She'd make everything worse. She hates me. If I'd ever slipped up and let her know about my amnesia she'd tell everyone and see it as the perfect opportunity to get back at me and then everything would collapse and I'd be forever alone and I'll die.

"Oh. It's you," Tanni said, her expression unreadable for a second. She blinked at me a few times, then her face switched to panic. "Oh, it's you. Oh no no no, you are staying away from me."

"I have a name, you know?" I teased, "I'm not 'the guy who fell out the window' or just 'you'."

"Oh, you have a name alright," she snorted, "Book-burner."

"Arsonist," I snapped back, "oh and how's the book?"

"Burnt, how's the arm?" she said.

"Hotter than hell," I retorted, "not that the rest of me isn't hot too, but considering your taste in books, I won't expect much from your taste in people."

Look, I know I sounded like an idiot there. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

She snorted. "From a distance, you look like my brother's cat."

"And up close?" I asked stupidly.

She studied me for a minute. "An empty fridge."

"And that's supposed to mean...?" I egged her on. Now that I look back on it, I shouldn't have.

"It means you're a disappointment," she said coolly.

"Ooooooh, she got you there, Mark. Want us to give you guys a separate room to argue in or would you rather we watch the show?" Nico said, spinning around in his seat to face the girls, he looked between me and Tanni glaring at each other. "I'm guessing these two don't like each other, do they?" He asked Harper, with amusement painting his features. Then he stuck out his hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet you, I'm Nico. Your new project partner and this idiot's best friend," he pointed at me as he said that last part, not noticing me glaring at him.

"Idiot is a great word to describe him," Tanni muttered. She turned to Harper and signed exactly everything that Nico had just said. Harper grinned,

"Oh, she can't hear us?" Nico tilted his head in confusion.

"Partial hearing loss," Tanni explained, "just don't talk like someone's running after you. Usually I'd tell you to speak up but you've already got the volume down."

"Understood," Nico nodded.

I stopped paying attention after that. All I could think of was what I was going to do about this project and o h n o.

There were two ways this could go. I could cooperate with Arsonist and risk everything for the probability that I would find out more about my past through my ability. But, I could also play it safe and refuse to work with her.

I was leaning towards the second option.

But then you'd never find your memories. Great, now my conscience was starting to show up.

No. I'm not risking it. I thought.

My brain decided to interfere more. Stupid brain.

Who said she had to know?

I froze. Who said she had to know? I could work on this project and make up things about my past when I'm with her but this gives me access to all the information I could need, maybe non-redacted files even. I could work on it alone!

"Well?" Tanni's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Anger seemed to light up her face, in a way. She had fire in her eyes and she was pulling at her poof of curly black hair from frustration.

She was also very pretty. Not the kind of pretty that would make you stop in your tracks in shock, not the kind of pretty that you would notice right away from the way her hair or face looked. But the kind of pretty that shone through her emotions, through her personality.

"Well what?" I retorted, quite sharply.

"Are we gonna work or are you just gonna sit there looking like you want to throw up?"

I sighed in defeat, knowing I would regret what I was about to say. "Let's work."

And so we worked. We planned. She made an actual spreadsheet. Nerd.

We both hated every second of planning our project, but we did it.

We worked.

♡♡♡

"What's her problem with me?" I asked Amira as we walked, the lesson had just ended, "all I did was burn a couple of pages of that stupid book."

"Comments like that are exactly why she hates you," Amira shook her head, laughing. "And it's not just a 'stupid book', it probably meant a lot to her."

"Your point is? She made my arm burst into flames!" I cried in exasperation.

"I just think you're both overreacting," she said, "you got off to a pretty terrible start, but who knows? Maybe you'll get along."

Before I could comprehend her wonderful advice, a blast of wind blew in our direction, causing her hijab to whack her in the face.

"Would you look at that, the wind disagrees with you too!" I laughed, "anyway, how was your session with Celeste?"

At this, Amira immediately disappeared. As in, she went invisible.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, an unnatural tone of worry lacing my voice, "you haven't disappeared like that in ages, did she bother you or something?"

"No," I heard her grumble from beside me.

"Liaaaar," I sang.

She kicked me in the shins.

I yelped in pain. "Next time warn me, I can't see you, you know?" I said.

"That's the point," Amira mumbled, in a disgruntled voice, "also, I would run. Nico's behind us and he doesn't look happy about you leaving him behind."

"You left too," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but he can't see me, can he?" I could hear the smile in her voice. So as soon as Nico approached me (us), I kicked her back.

"Mark!" she whined, blinking back into sight, "I hate you."

"You're a great friend too," I rolled my eyes.

"And you're both such great friends for leaving me behind with Harper!" Nico wailed.

"Bad session too?" Amira smiled, sympathetically.

"Huh? No," he said, "she's great, but we both ended up falling asleep from boredom halfway through the class. You could've woken me up?"

"Sorry not sorry," Amira said, "plus, you looked like you needed the sleep. I would've felt bad waking you up."

Nico's hair went pink. "Yeah, I guess," he scratched the back of his head nervously. "Anyway, do either of you know sign language?"

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Harper," he said, "she's deaf, and I want to be able to talk to her in the way that's most comfortable for her."

"I'll teach you," I said, nudging him lightly.

"It's nice that you care so much," Amira smiled encouragingly. He grinned, and I found myself wishing that Tanni and I could get along as well as he and Harper did.

Wait what? No, I don't want that. Definitely not.

"Anyway, what abilities do your partners have?" Nico asked, curiously. I froze. I didn't actually know what Tanni's power was. We'd barely spoken that lesson unless we were throwing insults or trying to figure out a study schedule that works for both of us.

"Mark?" Nico waved his hand in front of my face. "What's Nini's power?"

"Nini?" I scrunched my nose up in disgust. "You haven't even met her yet, Picasso. Chill on the nicknames."

Amira laughed. "That's rich, coming from the guy who calls his best friend 'Picasso'," she teased.

"That's what his paintings remind me of! Y'know, when they go wrong," I said.

"That was one time," Picasso defended himself, "and it only went weird because you wouldn't shut up, Markaroo."

I rolled my eyes. Good times, huh?

"I don't know Tanni's power, we pretty much ignored each other the whole time," I finally replied.

"I figured as much," he replied, "and for your information, I have actually met her. She was helping me clear out the art cupboard last week in detention."

Honestly, I wasn't surprised.

"Celeste electrocuted me," Amira chirped up.

"Fun," I replied.

"I swear, I was about to go and yell at her for half that lesson, it took a lot of restraint, Ami," Nico muttered angrily, "she wouldn't stop bothering you."

"Nah, I took care of it," Amira shrugged. "Don't worry."

Nico and I both glanced at each other in concern. When Amira says 'she took care of something', it usually means something bad and the other person always totally deserved it.

"Ami...What did you do?" I asked.

"I––uh, poured water in her locker," she mumbled, "not enough to seriously hurt her, just enough for her to feel a little spark every time she tries to clean it up. Like she did to me."

It took so much restraint not to laugh. Nico, however, didn't even try to hold it back.

"I'm so proud of you," he screeched, unashamedly cackling. "I'm glad I didn't interfere now."

"Now I know who to call if I need to get revenge on someone, Ami," I grinned. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Mark," Nico interrupted all of a sudden, "scrunchie." I pulled one of Nico's scrunchies off my wrist and handed it to him. He tied his hair back and put on his beanie.

"It's cold," he explained, his face in a red flush.

"Hm, okay."

"You know, maybe this project will turn out to be good. Maybe we'll learn stuff from it and make more friends and stuff," he mumbled, "maybe it won't be totally horrible."

"I hope so," Amira said, "because I don't want to keep stealing Etse's locker key."

I laughed along with them both. I laughed and I didn't say anything about how I was terrified and sick to the stomach about this project and about how I knew I could never be Tanni's friend because what could she ever do to help me? Or teach me anything? The only thing I would get out of this project was memories and a shared experience with an unlikely enemy.

That was how it was going to be. I didn't expect anything else. I didn't need anything else.

But I didn't say that. Instead I said:

"It'll all be fine in the end."

♡♡♡

Flashback––one week after memory loss

"Sit down," the nurse said after she led me to the crowded lunch hall––it looked like a science lab, "you'll get used to the noise eventually."

I wouldn't. Compared to my own mind everything was too loud, too amplified, and too busy. This was a hurricane of wild reality. Minutes in that hall felt like hours, each second that passed was a reminder that I would never visit the sweet past ever again.

But what was the past? I thought. What were memories that people so lovingly talked about as they walked past me? Were there bad memories too? Ones that filled blissful minds with fear and shame and guilt?

There was a war people talked about. War, I recognised the word. I recognised the basic facts and information that floated around aimlessly when retrieved from my almost empty brain.

Everyone in the room was my own age. Ages twelve to thirteen. I was thirteen, I remembered. My birthday was November 17th.

I hated the cold.

I loved music.

I wasn't loud.

I was reserved.

No one can know I can't remember.

I only recalled basic facts.

"Hey," a boy with wild blonde hair sat opposite me, "you don't mind?"

"No," I whispered my first word since I'd woken up.

"What's your name?" the boy asked. Oh no, I thought. He wants to talk to me.

That was never a good sign.

I paused to think. "Mark," I said, once I'd retrieved the necessary information.

"Nico," the boy replied, reaching out to shake my hand. I took it, weakly.

"This sucks, huh?" he mumbled, his hair going a bright shade of purple.

"Your hair changes colour," I stated. Another fact to add to my array of thoughts.

"Yeah," his shoulders slumped. "Your neck talks."

"What?"

"I mean you've got something written there, on your neck," Nico pointed to a point just below my jawline. I asked him what it said, although I was afraid of the answer.

"Confused," he said, "right there with you, man."

Just as he'd finished talking, a young girl– about eleven years old– walked past us. Her blonde hair went past her shoulders, freckles dotted her worried face and I noticed Nico's expression change for a split second when he noticed her.

"Harper!" another girl called from behind her. The blonde-haired girl didn't turn around. That was when I noticed her hearing aids. I don't know why or how I did it, but I got up and lightly tapped her on the shoulder. I pointed to where the other girl was calling her name, quickly signing an explanation that she was needed.

I sat back down, shocked by how I'd talked to Harper. I didn't know that I knew sign language. I didn't know that I had words imprinted on my neck. I didn't know...

Nico's eyes followed Harper with confusion.

"Do you know her?" I mumbled, trying to make conversation. Nico shrugged.

"I thought I did. I guess not, though," he said.

I nodded. "Me too."

That was how I made my first friend. How I met the first person I would have to conceal the dark parts of my mind from.

Nico.

♡♡♡

Back to the present

I took the long way back to the dorms, around the school, from the outside. But I shouldn't have expected a peaceful stroll, not here. Because as soon as I stepped foot outside, I heard two hushed voices, one teasing, the other terrified. I stepped back, careful not to be seen and watched their argument through a crack in the door.

"Stay away from me," the scared one pleaded, "please."

"But I don't want to," the other replied, "why do you wear these gloves, huh? What're you trying to hide?"

I frowned, peering closer, struggling to make out who was talking.

"Giles, please," the scared voice––a female voice, whispered, "please leave me alone."

Giles? Never heard of him.

"Giles please," Giles imitated the girl's voice, "I'm not leaving until I get answers, Tanni. Come on, you don't want to get hurt, do you?"

I furrowed my brow, that was Tanni's voice. But it wasn't the confident, snarky voice I knew. She sounded worried, helpless. I had half a mind to step outside and help her out when I heard the ripping of fabric and saw Giles pull off her gloves. I'd seen her wearing them all day, but I wasn't sure what was so important. He was about to take her bare hands––but that was when I tripped and fell onto a pile of books behind me.

They both turned, and Giles narrowed his eyes, looking around nervously. I hid.

And although I deeply regret it and kick myself for it every day...I didn't intervene soon enough. 

a/n – hehehehe mark feeling the guilt already. the next chapter's gonna be interesting (just saying haha, lots more scenes between mark and tanni). who's you're favourite character so far? please remember to vote/comment and have anice day/night!!!