Those we ought to think are not.

I trudge through the hospital corridors-- each step heavier than the last-- but still not less resolute.

My dark blue slacks and red button down shirt feel almost as natural as playing a melody.
After everything faded away, my dress turned into my current attire, along with the pendant and crack lost in a spiralling memory.

Nurses and doctors and families bustle about me-- everyone going on with their routine.

The attendant lowers her glasses at me, but doesn't comment at my not having a guardian.

You better be all right, Dylan...

My head turns to both right and left at least twelve times, before going to a specific direction on a whim.

The open windows give a glimpse of the settling night outside.

The tips of my fingers flex my sleeve up to the elbows. When my eyes widen at my exposed left wrist.

My bruise is gone.
But it was there only yesterday...

Just as I'm staring at it, two sets of feet stride towards me.
"Lindsey, you're back!"

As soon as I lift my head up, Allison almost tackles me down with a hug tighter than a getting money out of a miser.

"Is this international hug day!"
I exclaim as she grips me before I fall on my behind.

Just as I stable myself, Allison gives me one last squash before releasing me.

My eyes travel over to the redhead whose left foot is fidgeting and head's tilted down with a small smile.
Then Allison and Ethan notice the change of my clothes.

Both of them open their mouths-- index finger raising-- but then close it muttering: later later.

I then roll my eyes playfully and turn to Ethan.

"Oh, come on! You're my friend, too..." Allison steps to the side, just as I open my arms for Ethan.

His head bolts up and before he can say anything, I give him a quick hug. My arms just coil around his shoulders and him freezing.

But then he relaxes with a sigh and eases his arms around me.

Allison ahems-- pressing a tilted head and a content sigh.

I pull away before my ears start reddening.

Ethan moves away quickly and wraps his arms against his chest. But then releases one arm to scratch on dust of freckles on his nose.
That's when my own head tilts.

"Where's your bandage?" I point my index at his perfectly healed nose with no scar or trace left whatsoever.

Allison shrugs-- her posture saying You won't believe me, but we'll tell you.

Ethan grins.
"I was in my history class-- the one I share with that fucktard." Even Allison doesn't object to the choice of vocabulary.

I just nod with my fingers rubbing my chin.

"That was when a sudden crack came from my nose and a hellhole of bleeding."

My hand goes over the spot where the pendant was at hearing crack. The pendant disappeared in a tiny silver particles when the journal dissolved itself.

"I was rushed over to the matron's and when she removed my bandage, my nose was fine. As if nothing had happened. I won't deny I didn't enjoy Ian touching his black eye and scowling after seeing me without my bandage."

He looks down at the absent bruise on my forearm and the corners of his lips widen even more. And then to scratchless skin on my forehead.

Oh yeah... that's where I had that bandage.

"I guess that's something to do with you..."
His words linger in the air, while my attention diverts itself to the doors of the ICU in front of me. Its straining pallor invites me in.

The clock on the wall nearby strikes seven.

My stiff arms suddenly soften like loose ribbons.
"The twenty-four were up two hours ago...
Did, did they lift the anesthesia? Did he wake up?"

I look in between the cousins with hope giving out a streak of light, but they don't answer.

My back waves to the side. Feet trudging away from the two.
"Where's Gran? She should be here. I should..."

But then Ethan grips my elbow-- stopping me. His brows downcast.

Please...

He shakes his head at my rapid breathing and says,
"They've lifted the anesthesia, but he hasn't woken up... He's still under strict observation, don't worry..."

"There's a fifty percent chance."

"And they're letting family members in for a bit! Ms Bragge just came out, but she went to sit down for a bit... You can see him..." Allie gives an exaggerated jump, but even her jolliness can't veil her inner thoughts.

"The doctors keep saying if he ever wakes up. They don't even know yet if he'll survive all this..."

My curved arm then slides into a linear line-- Ethan's palm falling back to his side from mine.

"But you restored that faith of renewal back in me. Even after all the woes that had befallen our family, you still fought for what was left of it."

I curl my palm into a fist-- taking a deep breath as if I'm stepping onto a stage to dance-- despite knowing the state of my feet after it.

But still looking forward to it nonetheless.

Allie pats my back and Ethan's smile takes me back to my surroundings. I nod and the both of them then stay at my sides. Not leaving my side till they are forced to stop by the staff near the ICU.

Mr Alam and Uncle Gary both look up as I near the nurse. Black bags under their eyes and slumped shoulders.

Ethan leans in and says into my ear,
"A girl came here earlier. About Dylan's age. She turned away and left before I could ask anything."

My head turns towards him-- lips ajar.
"Do you remember anything else?"

He shakes his head with a frown.
"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, Lindsey. But I couldn't see her face. Just that she was a platinum blonde."

Platinum blonde... Melanie...
But... they haven't spoken in years...

"Lindsey." Uncle Gary's voice makes me snap my head at his direction. He almost jumps back at the intensity.
But he says,
"I've asked the nurse, for you. They'll let you in as long as I'm there as an adult. Oh and your hands are washed, right?"

I refrain from rolling my eyes.
"Yes, they are."

I actually stumbled over to the washrooms before bumping into the cousins.

I know policies like these are for your benefit, but they still get a bit annoying sometimes...

My irises a glance at Mr Alarm and gestures a hand at me to go forth. Making me give a small nod.

Both Ethan and Allison put their hands under my shoulder blades-- giving me a slight push as the nurse blares open the doors. Uncle Gary strides forth.

Meanwhile, I just look about at machinery containing the room. Patients. Nurses. Heart monitors. Drips. Everything.

My hand shakes a bit.

Before I know it, a prob on wood resounds and the nurse gestures for us to enter.

Both the nurse in a dull turquoise and Uncle Gary step to the side, as I freeze in the centre:

The isolation room's peaceful with only the dull sound of the heart monitor beeping.
Though, tubes, machines and pallids remain the focus.

My brother nestled in between all of them.
Only patches of skin escaping from the bandages, tubes and oxygen mask connected.

But... Dylan has a small crease in between his brows whenever he sleeps.

The lack of creases on Dylan's forehead is replaced by scratches.
Light reflects off the plastic of the pale green oxygen mask.

An image comes-- one that replaces him with me.

That actually sounds better...

Doors shut behind me as I tread with ball-bearings near the pristine bed. Circling it with a slight tremor.

I gulp.

And glance back at Uncle Gary.
Who then gestures to the metallic chair next to the bed.

Still they are where it seems not present.

My legs give way and fall onto the chair. Hands gripping the cool metal as gulps encase me.
Uncle Gary takes a step ahead, but I shake my head.

But then my gaze voyages to his left hand. It's the only one that doesn't have a tube flowing through it.

Also the only one without scratches.
It's smooth and calm.

Like it should be.

My right hand goes around to caress it-- even though he can't feel it.
The other hand covers my mouth with its tips.

Nothing remains in the room. Just me and my brother. Even Uncle Gary fades into the background.

"Hi..." I croak.

You're acting like he can actually hear you.

Is hope that bad?
My subconscious goes silent.

Holding onto to air as if it were a straw, my mouth breathes out,
"I came back... Meredith... the journal... all's done...
They're gone. To Wherever they have to go. Henry and Kathy..."

I suck in a breath. Pressing my lips into my mouth.
"I miss them already...
But I know they're still with me."

My hand intertwines around my brother's. His still stays limp. And unanswering.

I then gesture at my clothes with a wave of the head. My mouth rambles on,
"Do you see these? Just like how you wore red and green. I'm wearing blue and red. Kathy wore golden and red." A sniff resounds. Maybe from me.
"Though, Henry, Mum and Dad, and Isabelle all wore white."

"I'm not Charles Knightley! I'm just... just Dylan..."

"Dad was so proud of all of us. Including you." A soft chuckle gives itself permission.
The heart monitor continues its steady beep.

But then my other palm applies pressure to the skin underneath my left eye.

The water threatening to come out almost as blue as my eyes.
But I want to see the green grass on a summer day. Not the endless ocean with its salty air.

My lips press into the inside of my mouth. A heavy bile in my throat.
"Maybe it's selfish... but I won't deny this, Dylan. Not anymore."

I hold on to Dylan's hand even tighter. Not looking at at the bruises and scratches on his face. Nor the tubes and bandages.

"Coming back or staying is your choice and no one can take that away from you."
Hammers pound into my feet. Almost cracking the toe nails in a pirouette.
But the dance goes on.
And it's more calming than watching a show clad in gold and jewellery.

"But I want you back. Not because I think I'll drown. You don't need to that protective big brother anymore.
But because we both deserve another chance at life.
Maybe a better one."

My left hand falls, along with my head cascading down on the rough cotton sheet of Dylan's bed.

I don't know what comes over me, but my lips give a quick kiss at Dylan's fingers. Before my back pulls away.

Hands remain on his. Waiting for something. Anything.
Even the smallest of movement from a finger.

But nothing happens.
Nothing bloody happens.

I shut my eyes so tight as if a sudden abundance of sunlight falls onto them.

If only real life was like fiction...

When you talk to... somebody like him... and they immediately react.

A sigh crystallises itself from me. As I wipe away the moisture sprawled on my cheeks by rubbing them with my shoulder.

"I love you like I'd love my own daughter, Lindsey. I hope you know that."

"And I love you. Gran, Dad, Mum, Kathy, everyone," I squeeze his hand two times,
"loves you and we're proud of you, Dylan.
But you have to love yourself first..."
Lips press into my mouth, as I give his hand one final squeeze before letting it-- him, go.

A tranquil calmness spreads through me like warmth coming from a fireplace, as I stand up. Arms folded behind my back.

I look up. Only to find Uncle Gary gone.

I was talking to Dylan alone...

Just as my foot takes a step forward, something draws it back.
Something shifting from the corner of my eye.

Is that...

My body almost catapults itself near the bed. Gaze boring into it.
A movement-- smaller than a baby step-- shows itself. In Dylan's left index finger.

Could it be...

Dylan's eyes blare open. Calm chest heaving like a storm. My jaw drops. He smiles through his oxygen mask.

But then his eyes roll back.
And chest starts rumbling like an earthquake.

"N-Nurse! Doctor! Anyone!" I fret.
As soon as the words tumble from me, only the sound of doctors rushing in and the heart monitor going haywire echoes.

A nurse pulls me outside the doors by the elbow and my feet follow without thinking. Eyes still glued on him till the isolation room door smack shut. Faint moonlight streams in through the window in the far right where the beds are

I jumble towards the small window-- still attached to the room's wall. Not bothering to notice the nurse facepalming herself.
A microscopic gap between its curtains provides me a limited view.

Mrs Crimsom is also one of doctors and even her eyes widen at seeing the heart monitor.

She whirls around and presses a thumb against a button behind the bed's headboard.

Brows furrowed, Mrs Crimsom pumps the oxygen mask, while the surgeon on the left bends down and lowers the bed into a flat position.

The surgeon next to Mrs Crimsom reveals a CPR table from behind the bed and puts it between Dylan and the bed.

Mrs Crimsom's hands are on top of each other-- arms vertical-- and applies pressure on Dylan's chest.

The rest of the two surgeons look over at the monitors and tubes.

"He's going into cardiac arrest," Mrs Crimsom announces.

Seem may difficult, but not you woe.

Meanwhile, two staff members in the same turquoise uniform rush in with a cart full of shock paddles and meds.

The rest nod.

One of the staff members hands the surgeons the AED aids.

Before they plunging the aids onto Dylan's chest.
"150, clear!" Shock.
Jerking Dylan up.
A muffled grunt comes from him.

My nails almost scrape the skin off my scalp.

"300, clear!" Shock.

Shock. "300, clear!"
Knees almost give up.
Even though, I'm only watching from the little view the curtained window is supplying.

The monitor goes silent. A thin line on it. Instead of the mountains of waves from before.

What the hell...

Mrs Crimsom beats her hands a few more times after the shocks don't work.

Tick tock.
Tick tock.

"Should we call it now?" asks the female surgeon.

Five minutes pass. No heartbeat.

Tick tock.

The floor feels like it's slipping away from my feet.
They remove the oxygen mask.

Is this...

"Time of death," Mrs Crimsom concludes.

The covers pull up. A constellation from outside intersects its seven stars. Black dust explodes into nothing.

... goodbye?

"Wait!"

The doors of the ICU open. No words come out.
Ethan, Allison, Uncle Gary and Mr Alam jump out of their seats.

Gran stays back.
Her hand on Mary's buried shoulders.
"Dead. He's dead," she laments.

Find you will where your heart is.

Wp sassing be like...

Hey everybody! I'm back with yet another "killing" cliffhanger!

I see that shoe and I won't hesitate to run away, okay.

Thanks for waiting so much for me tho xD

Also, all the credit for medical related stuff goes to silvana_md. She's literally my knight in shining armour for this kind of stuff lol.
Thanks Silvana ♥️

As for the chapter, I hope y'all like it.
I don't have much to say, other than the fact that ALEXANDRA BRACKEN IS NOW LIKE MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR!
OMG I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER FANGIRLED OVER A MODERN AUTHOR SINCE JKR

LIKE MANY ARE GREAT BUT I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY ALEX'S WRITING UGH I LOVE HER

I was gonna update after NaNo, but I couldn't help myself.

Anyways, the song above is "Want You Back" by Daniel Hennel ft. Addie Nicole (from Halocene)

Also, I don't think we need any questions for this chapter :p

Have a great week!
Love,
MS Zame

P. S. After this, we'll have the last chapter, epilogue and one-shot spinoff. So look forward to that!