Mikey hadn't spoken to me for five days after I told him. When he saw me, he'd duck into his room. I tried to talk to him but he always either ignored me or left.

Trying to get my mind off of it, I spent most of my time at the gym. Anything would be better than seeing Mikey so upset at me and not being able to talk to him.

The night before my last day, I was sitting in the living room watching whatever movie was playing on TV. I wasn't really paying attention to it. From what I could piece together, it seemed to be a murder mystery or horror movie. After missing the entire beginning of the movie, thinking about Mikey, I decided to stop worrying and just pay attention to the movie. I was soon able to piece together what I had missed.

"The dog dies."

I instantly spun around when I heard my brother's voice. He was leaning on the door frame, looking at me with his infamous poker face.

I sat there, staring at him, not knowing what to say.

"W-what?"

His response was in the form of a finger pointing at the TV screen and repeating "the dog dies."

"Oh," I said quietly, looking back at him. Mikey started to walk towards the couch. With a plop, he sat down next to me, grabbing a side of the blanket on me and pulling it onto himself. He kept his eyes on the screen and I kept mine on him, smiling.

I sighed, relieved, and smiled before saying "well, I guess that's the end of that movie for me," with a chuckle. Mikey joined in on the laughter as I changed the channel, not wanting to see a dog die.

We fell asleep to end credit music, cuddled up together on the couch.

~~~

It was my last day in Jersey.

I was laying in my bed unmoving with my legs propped up on the headboard, staring at the many posters on my roof. I traced the edges with my eyes. I was trying not to think about what would happen tonight -- I was leaving. I had gotten any tears I had and any doubts out, so all I felt was empty. It was already 10:00am. I knew I had to get up, but I still didn't move. Maybe I just wanted to treasure my room while I could, I don't know.

Suddenly, I heard two knocks and my door squeaking open. I arched my back and tilted my head back to see who was there.

"You look terrible," Pete laughed. He stood just outside my room with his arms crossed and hair slightly over his left eye.

"Back at ya," I shot back, returning to my previous position and throwing a blanket over my body. All I had on was underwear. The relaxation didn't last long, however.

"Gerard!" I heard Mikey yell from the kitchen, "get up!" With a groan, I obeyed.

I swung my legs onto the ground and bent over to grab the nearest pair of pants. After slipping them on, I lazily waddled out of my room. On the way out, Pete bumped my shoulder and smiled, saying, "I tried to warn you."

"No you didn't," I replied grumpily.

I rubbed my eyes as I approached the kitchen, searching desperately for some coffee. Before I could grab the pot, Mikey swatted my hand away, fully waking me up.

"Hey! What was that for?" I half-yelled.

He replied by plunging a plate of pancakes into my arms, painfully shoving it into my stomach and fully waking me up.

"Ow. What's this?"

"Pancakes," he said matter-of-factly. I flashed him a quick sarcastic smile. He gave me a genuine smile in return. I walked to the table and sat down next to Pete who had somehow already finished half his plate.

Mikey plated the final pancakes for himself and sat down next to Pete, giving him a quick, maple syrup filled kiss. They giggled and turned back to their food. Mikey caught me making a face and kicked me under the table.

After breakfast, I hopped into the shower. As I stood there with the warm water hitting my skin, I closed my eyes and remembered all the good and not so good times. Images raced through my mind. Mikey and I playing in the backyard as kids. Crying on the couch after our grandma died. Drawing in my room while Mikey yelled at me to turn down my music. Mikey coming out to me and bringing home his first boyfriend. Watching countless movies with Mikey. Mom leaving and us inheriting the property. Repainting and decorating the house. Learning to play bass guitar. Telling Mikey I was leaving.

With a deep breath and one last rinse, I switched off the water and stepped out.

~~~

"Hey," Mikey said as he lightly tapped my half-open door, "Pete just left."

I grunted in return, focusing on my drawing.

"Gee," he sighed, "can we talk?" He whispered almost inaudibly.

Realizing he needed something, I put my pencil down and motioned for my bed as I walked over to sit on it. Mikey soon followed.

"What's up?"

"I... I'm scared," his voice cracked.

I sighed, knowing exactly what he was saying. "I know, Mikes. I am too."

"You could," he stopped himself from continuing. But I knew what he was going to say.

Die. I could die.

He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to hold back tears.

"I know," I whispered back and turned my head to face the wall with a sigh. I didn't want to lie to him and tell him I wouldn't. I knew there was a chance I could not come home.

After a moment, my quietly crying brother leaned over and rested his head on my shoulder. I bent my own head and rested it on his. We sat together for a while in silence.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to... process."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Yeah..."

"Let's go do something," I proposed after a few minutes, trying to sound upbeat, "just the two of us."

He sighed and nodded, "yeah. Wanna go see a movie?" He sat up, smiling shyly.

"Sure."

~~~

I watched the hands of the clock on my watch tick.

Five minutes.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Forty-five seconds.

Thirty.

Fifteen.

Ten.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Beep.

I clicked the button, turning off the alarm, and hesitantly dragged myself out of my chair. My suitcase was already waiting for me by the front door. All I had to do was slip on some shoes and grab my papers.

After triple-checking that I had everything, I took a deep breath and walked out of my room. Maybe for the last time.

Mikey was out with Pete for the night. We had said our goodbyes earlier, after spending the day with him; He didn't want to be here when I officially left. As odd as it sounded, I wanted some one-on-one time with this place. I grew up in this house. I had lived there practically my whole life. All of my family had.

I set my papers down on the coffee table. Then, I began to walk around the house, trying to memorize everything. As I walked by every hall or room, memories came swarming back.

I felt something wet on my cheeks and looked up to see if there was a leak, but realized that wasn't the case. I was crying.

I headed for the bathroom sink to clean off my face. After quickly doing that, I walked back out to the foyer. I took one last scan of the house, deciding I would be running late if I wasted any more time. No use delaying the inevitable, right?

~~~

"Afghanistan, huh?" A woman's voice pulls me back into reality. She smiled at me and tilted her head like a puppy. I realized it was me she was talking to.

"Uh, yeah," I replied politely, "You?"

"Same," She shrugged and pointed at the seat beside my own in a questioning manner. I nodded, letting her know the seat was open for her. She sat down.

"I'm Lindsey. And you cut your hair," She said as she held out her hand. I took it and shook it.

"W-what? How'd you know that?" I questioned as I smoothed my hair back.

"You don't remember me. Here," She brought her hands up to her black hair and pulled it back into a bun, "What about now?"

After a moment, the memory came back to me.

"Oh my god, hi!" I laughed, embarrassed. She was the woman I had seen when I went to enlist. "Gerard."

"Gerard," She repeated, laughing with me.

"Flight 322, boarding now," I monotone voice came through the speakers.

"That's us!" Lindsey jumped up.

"I guess it is," I whispered, standing up slower than her.

She noticed my hesitation and frowned, taking my hand in hers.

"It'll be okay. At least we have each other," she smiled brightly.

"Right," I smiled back.

And with that, we walked, hand-in-hand, into our new life.

I won't die. I tell myself this over and over again, hoping I'll believe it if I do.

Not like the dog.