The ever-growing familiar beep, beep, beep pulls me out of a blissful darkness. I try to move and can't. Panic sets in. Am I still there? Am I still trapped? Still strapped to that table? I force my eyes to open. Good. I can see. Relief sweeps through me. It's dark, but the IV machine is all lit up.

There are several other machines I don't recognize, but I'm in the hospital. Again. The smell alone should have alerted me, but I'm tired. My blurry eyes do a frantic search of the room, looking for ghosts, but again, they are strangely absent. Why do they leave me alone when I'm here?

I shift my head slightly and wince at the pain, but am glad I moved. Dan is asleep in the chair beside my bed. He propped his feet on the bottom of the bed and is slouched down. He looks exhausted. His police uniform is wrinkled and stained with dark patches. It has to be blood, whose I don't know. It could be mine or it could be Mrs. O's.

Thoughts of Mrs. Olson make me shudder violently. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined she was the killer. She took care of me, stayed with me, and made me feel safe. How can I have been so wrong about her? Usually my instincts are much better than this. I never saw it coming. The things she did to those poor kids, to me. I can feel the knife tracing over my skin even now. The shakes start in as soon as I think about it. The monitor attached to me starts to beep wildly. My breath comes in short panting gasps and in a heartbeat I am back in that house, strapped down, crying and begging for it to stop.

"Shh, Mattie, you're safe now, shhh...."

Eric? I open my eyes and find his blue ones staring at me. He is sitting beside me on the bed. I thought he'd gone into the light. What is he doing here?

"If you don't calm down, you're gonna wake up your friend. He hasn't slept in days."

"Eric?  Why are you here?" I ask in my head, mindful of Dan asleep in the chair. "Why didn't you cross over?"

"Trying to get rid of me already, Hathaway?"

"What?  No!  I just don't understand...why didn't you go into the light?" My breathing slows, calmer now that I know I'm not alone in that basement again.

"I said I would wait for you, Mattie, and when you didn't go, I stayed. I needed to know you'd be safe, that you were okay."

His eyes have lost their teasing light and he's serious. He is looking at me the way I'd always wanted a boy to look at me and I want to scream at the unfairness of it all. Why does he have to be dead? Fate is cruel, I think. She gives me someone I could really come to trust, to maybe even love, and I can't have him. That is not his fault, though. He did his best for me, now it's my turn to help him.

"I am okay, Eric, because of you."

"When I first saw you, you were so outrageous," he laughs softly. "I knew they'd want you. I thought if I scared you, you'd stop looking, but you just got more determined. I swear I didn't mean to hurt you, Mattie. I didn't know I could."

"You and me both," I tell him wryly. "I thought you guys could just pester me. I didn't know you could physically harm me. I'm glad, though. Without that screeching of yours, I don't think I could have taken Mrs. Olson."

"I do not screech. Girls screech, not guys. Guys yell."

The outraged expression he wears makes me laugh. Why does he have to be dead? Why do I have to convince him to cross over? I don't want him to go.

"Eric...."

"No." He puts a finger to my lips to shush me. "I am not going into the light, Mattie."

I shiver at the cold that seeps into me. "Why? You don't belong here anymore. Everyone you were protecting is safe now. They are on the side waiting for you."

"Not everyone. There is still one person I'm waiting for."

My eyes widen. Does he mean me?

"Who else is going to keep you out of trouble, Hathaway? Besides, the other side is overrated."

"Eric, you can find peace over there..."

"I said I'd wait for you, Mattie, and I will." He leans down and presses his cold lips to my forehead. "Get some rest now. I have to go find a girl down in the morgue scaring the attendants with her moaning."

"Eric!" He's gone. Just like that, I blink and he's gone. He's supposed to cross over, to find peace. He deserves it after all he's been through, but secretly, I'm glad he didn't go. I'm so messed up. Here I am wanting something I can't have again. I don't think I'll ever find anything normal to hold onto.

Then I see Dan. He's about as normal as you can get. And he found me. God only knows how, since Eric had issues trying to get through to him. Dan is here, sitting in bloody clothes, waiting on me to wake up. He hasn't left me despite my attempts to push him away. I don't know what I'd do without him. I'd be dead right now if not for him. Leave it to Officer Dan to save the day.

The slow steady beeping of the machines lulls me back to sleep. When I wake up again, I am not as afraid as before. I know where I am and I also know Eric is around. If anything spooky tries to hurt me, Mirror Boy will eat them alive. Maybe he's the reason the spooks are leaving me alone this time.

The blinds have been drawn and sunlight streams into the room. I blink, but my eyes aren't nearly as sore as they were before. At least it gives me a chance to take stock of my injuries. Both my hands are bandaged in some kind of splint. Most likely so I can't move them. My leg is raised slightly in one of those contraptions you see on TV to elevate it in a make shift sling. Another splint is secured to my ankle. Multiple stab wounds are stitched and bound. They itch. I also notice that I'm restrained. Maybe it's so I can't move and hurt myself, but I don't like it, not after what I just went through. They are going to take these off right now, even if that means I have to scream bloody murder to accomplish it. No one is ever going to tie me up again. Ever.

I hear the toilet flush and a sink turn on. Dan emerges from the bathroom after a minute. He's taken off his uniform shirt. The white tee-shirt he'd worn under it is just as stained. Big dark brownish spots decorate it. Funny how blood doesn't dry the color of red. It can be black or brown, but I don't think I've ever seen it red.

"You're awake," Dan whispers when he sees me looking at him. The look of relief on his face is almost comical. He rushes over and then stops, unsure where to sit. I'm all wrapped up.

"Dan," I whisper hoarsely. My throat still hurts something awful. It was bruised, swelling, and I thought for sure it was gonna close up on me last I checked.

He grabs the water pitcher and pours some into a glass. Carefully, he helps me to take a few sips.  Oh, God, that feels so good against my throat. He only lets me have a few more sips before he puts the plastic cup down. I glare at him, but he only shakes his head.

"Just a little, Squirt. Give it a few minutes, and I'll give you more. I'm going to let the nurse know you're awake."

He runs out and after a few minutes I am bombarded with nurses and two doctors. The next twenty minutes are spent being poked and prodded while trying to answer questions. I do manage to get them to remove the restraints. Dan made them, once he understood how upset I was about them. Once they leave, Dan pulls up the chair and settles himself in.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Mattie. If you do, I swear I will kill you myself."

The anger radiating off him is surprising. He is so pissed. My eyes go a little round. I've never seen him this mad before. He looks a little scary. His brown eyes are almost black in their fury.

"What in the hell were you thinking, running off like that without your phone?"

A lecture I is not what I was expecting. I know he's right, so I get mad, too.

"Why would I have called you?" I whisper back angrily. Or at least as angry as I can be, sounding more like a mouse. "You said you didn't believe me!"

He runs a hand over his face and I can see him counting to ten in his head. "Mattie, just because you get your feelings hurt is no reason to run off looking for a serial killer on your own!"

"My feelings hurt!" The beeping on the machine starts to rapidly increase. "You think I ran off alone because my feelings were hurt?" Well, maybe I did, but I was running from Mirror Boy too. I hadn't been about to lose my only lead. It isn't my fault I forgot to bring my phone.

"Mattie, you could have died. Don't you understand that? You almost did die." His face loses its angry expression. Fear replaces it. "You were so cold when I found you... I thought you were dead." He takes a deep breath to steady himself. "I thought I was too late. I've never been more scared in my life then when I saw you broken and bleeding in that hallway."

"I did try to call you," I tell him, "but I forgot my phone at the house. I saw Sally and she was willing to take me to where she was. She showed me Mary's bike.... oh God, Mary!  Did you find her? Is she alive?"

"Yeah, we found her. She's two rooms down. She's pretty messed up, but you saved her. Her mom wants to talk to you when you feel up to it."

I nod, grateful she's okay. I thought for sure she was a goner when I didn't hear her anymore. At least I can say I saved someone.

"Mattie, promise me you won't ever go off following a ghost again without telling me. Please. Don't do that to me again."

I swear I think there are tears in his eyes, but he's not looking at me so I can't tell. Typical guy move. It strikes me then how much this boy cares. He cares if I live or die. He cares if I'm safe, if I'm happy, if I'm okay. He cares about me. I admitted to myself how much I care about him, but I didn't let myself think about if he felt the same. He does. Tears spring to my eyes. I am not much on crying, but I can't help it. Once I start, I can't stop.

Dan looks helpless, but then he jumps in the bed and just holds me, careful of my injuries. It hurts like nobody's business, but I wouldn't tell him for all the world how much pain I'm in right now. I need him to hold me. He and Eric are the only two people in the world who can make me feel this safe.

"I was so scared," I whisper. "When I woke up tied down to that chair and I couldn't see..." Shudders wrack me. "No one knew where I was and I felt so helpless."

"It's okay, Squirt," Dan soothes.  "I found you. I'll always find you."

"The knife scared me more than anything else," I confess, a sob ripping from my throat. "I hate knives. She strapped me down to a table and... and... cut me."

"You're safe now, Mattie. She can't hurt you ever again. You're safe."

"How did you find me?" I ask him to try to distract myself from the memories of the table. "You didn't even know I was missing."

"I got called into work and my phone died. I didn't get your message until I plugged it in to charge on the way home. I swung by your place after that stupid message to set you straight. Mr. Olson had just come in from work. He said you were probably still asleep, but he'd wake you up.  He was making coffee and hit play on the answering machine. That's when I heard the message on the machine."

"You thought he was in on it too?" The message on the machine had convinced me Mr. Olson was the killer as well.

"When I couldn't find you and your phone was still in your room, I took him down the station for questioning. This time, no one even hinted that you were just a runaway. Having a friend on the force is a good thing sometimes. Once my captain heard the tape he came to the same conclusion I did. We've had your foster father in custody since Sunday morning."

"He wasn't involved."

Dan sighs. "There was no way he wasn't, Mattie."

"He wasn't.  Do you remember when I told you Eric was the key to all of this since he was the first?"

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Olson cheated on Mrs. Olson."

"So?'

"Mrs. Olson can't have kids, the other woman could. Eric was their son. Mrs. O killed Eric's mother. She thought Eric died in the fire that took his mother. When she saw him at the basketball game, she knew who he was. He looks like his mom. That is when she took him. There's something wrong with her, Dan. She flips from one mood to another."

"We had our psychologist talk to her." Dan settles me back against my pillows and gives me a little more water.

"She's not dead?" I squeak. She has to be dead. I saw her fall.

"No, Squirt, she's not dead. She broke her arm in the fall and has a concussion, but other than that, she's fine."

"Where is she?" There's not a chances in Hades I'm staying here if she's here. No way.

"She's in county lock-up. We moved her there after the doctor cleared her. You're safe, Mattie."

"Okay." I calm down, breathing deeply. She's not here. I can deal with that. "So what did your shrink say?"

"Do you know what Dissociative Identity Disorder is?"

I shake my head no. 

"It's basically multiple personality disorder. She had two separate identities. One was hers and one was that of her brother. The kid was brutally murdered when he was about nine. The doctor doesn't know how long she's been sick, but the brother's identity was the one doing all the killing. She just cleaned up after him."

How did I miss that? I know crazy, all foster kids do. It keeps us alive. What is wrong with me these days? Has to be the ghosts. Not that I'm not grateful for their help, but they cause more problems than anything else.

"How did you find me, Dan?" I ask again. "Mr. Olson couldn't have told you where I was. There's no way you would have even thought to look for me there."

"It was the strangest damn thing." He shakes his head and shivers at the sudden cold in the room. "Every time I went to my computer that old article about Hartford House was pulled up. Every single time. I'd close out the browser, take a phone call, and when I looked at my computer, it was right there again."

"Ask him why he finally checked it out," Eric laughs.

"Why did you finally come check it out?" I ask him, trying not to laugh at Eric making bunny ears above Dan's head.

"Just figured I should."

"He closed out the page and I dumped his coffee onto the keyboard," Eric says smugly.

"Wouldn't be because a whole cup of coffee spilled onto your keyboard the last time you tried to close out the page?"

Dan's eyes widen and then he frowns. "How do you know that?"

I laugh and then wince. Laughing is not good. "Who do you think sent Eric to tell you where I was?"

There is such a look of horror on his face, I forget it hurts to laugh and I giggle. A coughing fit sets in and I do my best to try to control myself. It's so comical. Eric is cracking up which is making me laugh harder. Dan is glowering at me.

"Sorry," I wheeze.

Dan rubs his eyes and frowns at me. "No, I'm sorry, Squirt. Just because I can't explain something doesn't mean it's not true."

"So, you're willing to admit that I might be able to see ghosts?"

"I'm willing to admit you can see ghosts."

My eyebrows shoot up and even Eric looks impressed. Dan looks extremely uncomfortable.

"Ohmygosh."

"Squirt, I'm really, really sorry. When I got that message, it hit me like a fist in the gut. Then you were gone and I... I went a little insane thinking about what might be happening to you. I had all those drawings you did of the victims and... and..." He stands up, his fists clenching. If he could have, I think he might have smashed something.

"I'm okay." It's my turn to soothe him.

"No, you're not!" He turns back to me and I understand the rage I'd seen before had been directed at him and not me. He blames himself for what happened to me.

"Dan, don't do this to yourself," I whisper. My throat is hurting from all the talking, but I need him to understand it's not his fault. "I would have found a reason to push you away with or without the ghost stuff. It's a classic Mattie move. I hit first remember? You got too close and I was afraid."

"If I had believed you, you wouldn't have gone off on your own!"

"Yeah, I would have," I disagree. "I'm not used to depending on anyone and I would have followed Sally with or without your help. That's just me. It's my own fault I ran out of the house without my phone." I fail to tell him I couldn't have called him anyway because I got knocked out as soon as I found the stupid bike. "There was nothing you could have done. The important thing is you found me. You found me with a ghost's help, but it was you who found me and got me to the hospital before I died."

He and I are going to disagree. I don't think there's anything I can say right now to convince him this isn't his fault. It's going to take a long time before he gets over the guilt.

Dan sighs and walks over to the thermostat. "Why is it so cold in here?"

"That would be Mirror Boy, AKA Eric."

Eric grins and goes over to stand beside Dan. He grins at me and then the temperature gets colder and colder. I can hear the water turn on in the bathroom. Eric is using the moisture caused by the running water to ice up the windows right next to Dan. I would have freaked out a couple days ago seeing this, but I know Eric is only playing a joke this time. He doesn't mean any harm.

Dan stares in fascination at the windows as ice covers them. He turns to give me a look of utter disbelief. No way can he explain this away. He looks as terrified as I felt the first time I saw a ghost with a nasty mangled injury. At least he's spared seeing them on daily, sometimes hourly basis.

"Isn't he the one who hurt you?" Dan asks at last. 

"Yeah, but he didn't mean to," I tell him. "He was trying to warn me, but I didn't listen. It was because of him and the other ghosts I survived long enough for you to find me. They helped me with Mrs. Olson."

He nods and comes to sit back down, his face serious again. "Are you going to do this a lot?"

"Define 'this'. I do a lot of stupid stuff."

"Leave me voicemails breaking up with me."

"Officer Dan, we can't break up 'cuz we were never together."

"Mattie," he growls.

"Maybe."

"Well, get over it because I love you, Mattie Hathaway. I'm not sure what that means right now, but I do. You're stuck with me, Squirt. I'm not going anywhere."

The truth of that statement is shining in those liquid brown eyes of his. I can get lost in those warm brown depths if I let myself. I think I love him just a bit, too. I don't know if it's the way a girl usually loves a boy or if I love him like a friend or like a brother, but I do love him. I think he's as confused as I am about that love. My heart clenches in fear at that admission. I've never let myself love anyone, ever. Not since Mamma. This could be very bad.

"Or it could be very good," Eric whispers by my ear.

"Are you eavesdropping?" I screech silently at him.

"Sure am," he replies unrepentantly. "Don't push him away, Mattie. Let him in. Let him be there for you like I want to and can't. Let him love you. Don't be afraid. Love doesn't hurt, not always."

"Are you talking to Ghost Boy again?" Dan asks suspiciously. "Your eyes are a little unfocused."

"Be quiet, Officer Dan," I whisper, staring at Eric. He looks so sad, but he's smiling at me with his one-hundred-watt smile. "Eric..."

"Shhh, Mattie. Trust yourself, trust him. It'll work out. Now, I am going to go roust out a rather pesky ghost terrorizing the surgical floor. Poor guy keeps trying to get people to watch him throw a football."

Just like that, he's gone again. I shake my head. That boy moves fast. He's also hurting. He is watching me live while he's stuck as a ghost. It's so not fair.

"Why are you crying, Mattie?" Dan asks, alarmed.

"Because everything is so messed up," I whisper. "I'm messed up." Dan tries to interrupt me, but I don't let him. "I didn't want to let you get close, Dan, but you got past every wall I have and that terrifies me. You see me, the girl who hits firsts and asks questions later. You don't care about my snarky attitude. You see me. And as much as you scare me, I'm glad you didn't give up on me. All I wanted to do was to take back everything I said in that message while I was down in that basement. I... I... I love you too. You're my friend and that's all I need for right now."

"Then that's what I'll be, I'll be your friend for as long as you need me to be." He gives me a kiss on the forehead, much like Eric had done. I don't get any butterflies in my stomach this time though. Dan's kiss only makes me feel safe, warm, and loved. Maybe that's all I ever really needed.

Maybe for once, I can be happy.