"So we finally meet, Miss Webster,” said  Tina, eyeing her from head to toe.

Princess put her guard up, breathing Tina’s cheap perfume. Rubbing her tummy,

Princess said, “Yes. We finally meet.”

“So I understand you and Thomas are quite the odd couple.”

Princess tilted her head, scowling a tad. “I
wouldn’t call us the odd couple."

“Sure I would. A recovering prostitute and a soon-to-be divorced creep. I think that qualifies you for Odd Couple of the year.”

“And what about you?” asked Princess. “I heard you swallow more than just birth control pills.”

Tina rolled her eyes, her failures in her marriage evident and written on her face in a way her make-up failed to do. Dandruff flakes were on her collar and this grossed Princess out.

“Watch it.”

“I did. I watched him hold me, kiss me and protect me at night. I watched him smile, laugh and shed tears of joy when we finally found our way back to each other."

“I guess I should look around to make sure
Ashton Kutcher ain’t punking me.”

Princess tried to slam the door in her face and Tina pushed it open. “Face me. Be a woman!”

Tina said and Princess spun on her heel, walking to the kitchen.

“Who’s at the door?” Georgia asked, and Tina grabbed Princess above the elbow and Princess snatched her arm back.

“Look, bitch. I don’t suck pussy. So don’t grab me like you lost your mind.”

Dropping his napkin, Thomas stood up and pulled Princess behind him. “Why are you here?”

Tina opened her leather attaché case and pulled out a manila folder, wiggling it in his face. “These papers got more gun powder than Iraq.”

“Are you trying to be funny?”

“No. I want a divorce. Just sign the gahdamn papers and we can all be happy.”

“I am already happy. Princess is unlike any woman I’ve ever met.”

“Do you say that to all the whores you buy?”

Insulted, Princess tried to get to Tina but Ed stood up, placing a friendly hand on Tina’s shoulder. “Can we all talk like adults. Princess is pregnant.”

Georgia said, “Tina, sit down for a minute.”

“I just want Thomas to sign the papers,” Tina said, tears falling from her eyes. “He cheated on me with swine. I thought pigs belonged in a pig pen.”

“Bitch you got one more time to insult me,” Princess said, sitting down in the chair. She was opening and closing her hands into fists.

Tina dropped the papers on the table.

“Sign them.”

“After I read over them I will.”

“You can read them now!”

Georgia stood up, walking to the fridge. She needed a stiff drink. It seemed that divorce was the big theme tonight.

“I want my lawyer present.”

Tina wasn’t hearing him. “Sign them now.”

Thomas hated being embarrassed in front of family and friends. “Bitch, fuck off! I’m a grown man!”

Tina raised her hand to slap him but she refrained.

I’m going to make him look like a pussy in front of a pussy ass bitch! “I don’t want you!”

“And I hate you, whore! Go swallow some more birth control pills and hide the fact that you are a deceitful bitch!”

Thomas sneered, throwing the divorce papers across the room.

Ed’s mouth fell open