Why we do things, I don't know.

Why we make certain choices and decisions, it's unclear to me but all I know is that 96.6% of the time, I chose stupid.

Drunken stupid choices, at least me and Loki had that in common.

"You look like hell.." Loki commented as they entered the kitchen of my ship, stealing the apple juice out of my hand.

"You can't say much.." I sipped my juice and looked at them, figuring it out. "You hooked up.."

"What?! No, I did not!"

"Who'd you fuck?" I asked them bluntly.

"You can't get mad at me.." Loki said in defence.

"I won't"

"Do you promise?"

"I promise.."

"Do you swear?"

"Spit it out!" I snapped at them.

"Last night I left with Omar and then I proceeded to sleep with Omar.." They fessed up.

"Finally! God, it took you long enough! That's not even bad, last night I slept with Wanda. We both got very drunk and then all of a sudden the fact that she won't marry me didn't matter!" I told them.

"We need a vacation.." Loki sighed, looking for breakfast in the cabinets.

"Or a runaway, I know a place.." I suggested, perking Loki's interest.

When I told Tony to gather everyone, he failed to gather like, half the people. So, today we'd be taking a flight and making a few collections.

I headed to say good morning and goodbye to my daughter, hoping her other mother hadn't gotten to see her yet. Although I had um, physical connections with my wife last night? That didn't mean all was forgiven, I was just a hot mess. I like to focus on the hot part, not the mess part.

Loki and I loaded into the jet, I had one location in mind. It was time to meet a group I haven't seen in a long time, who probably will slap me across the face.

"Are you wearing sunglasses?" I turned to ask Loki, who looked out of it.

"The light hurts my eyes.." They replied, looking at the jungle around us and seeing the jet was about to go straight down, "Is this a death mission?! Are you trying to kill us?! I know I fucked your best friend but this is an overreaction!" Loki cried out.

The jet dragged towards the trees, Loki screaming about how even though we were stupid, this wasn't the answer. Although they had never been to Wakanda, which made this so much funnier.

The jet flew through the barrier, Loki's eyes were revealed from underneath their arms, a move they made in fear. The glorious city of Wakanda appeared, I hadn't told Loki that this was our destination and I hadn't called in advance, so this was a group surprise.

"It's-"

"Glorious?" I mocked them, "Don't get any ideas.."

I flew us in between vibranium skyscrapers, seeing citizens heads turn in confusion at the jet that was considered, alien. The place landing ground was the goal but the Dora Milaje seemed to beat us there.

"Can you land this?" I asked my friend.

"If  necessary.." Loki replied.

"I'm about to teleport out of here to save us from the Dora Milaje so for your survival, it's kinda necessary.." I spoke, alarming them into pushing me out of the driver's seat.

I teleported to the ground, immediately knowing them powerful women who stood before me.

"Ayo, Okoye, you probably don't want to kill me.." A smile escaped their mouths and they sent someone to call the royal family.

"You return, at last.." Okoye spoke, "Who is flying your ship?" She asked.

"Loki, they can park it without breaking most of your city, don't worry.." I assured her, although I don't think she believed me.

After a brief catch up, two figures arrived through the doors of the palace, looking shocked at what the Dora member had said, not believing their own eyes.

"I just wanna say that I own a palace and it's way cooler than yours.." I messed with them Shuri and T'Challa that being.

Shuri approached me first, choosing to slap me across the face.

"I just wanted to see if you were real and , I hate you.." She said before pulling me into a hug.

"I missed you too, Shuri.."

When she let go, T'Challa approached me, pulling me into a hug as well.

"Big T, always a pleasure.." I smiled.

"Little Stark-"

"Yeah that's not gonna work anymore, there was some drama is you didn't hear.." I sighed.

"I do have Twitter, Y/N, I am not ancient.." He smiled.

"We have a lot to discuss, like how your all gonna die. It's not my fault, there's a purple jellybean that's a fan of mass genocide. trust me I'm not friends with him.." I wrapped my arms around both of their shoulders, "I am also very hungover so please have some patience.."

Loki met us at a round table, a lot of official Wakandan people of importance were gathered to hear what I had to say and were shocked when they learned. They thought it was best for me to meet another, lesser appreciated tribe leader.

"Y/N, this is M'Buku, please share your knowledge.." The king introduced me.

"You are the funny girl that hates the Avengers?" He asked me.

"I also like to be referred to as Y/N, Madam Mayhem and the hottest one in the building at any given time, but it's nice to meet you.."

All five tribes agreed to send soldiers when the time was right, the King couldn't travel with me to New York because apparently being grown-up meant you had responsibilities and so he decided to send the next best thing, his little sister.

"This should be fun, making fun of Tony Stark every day, I mean.." Shuri rambled as she boarded the jet.

There were still people missing from our team, some I've never even met. So one plane ride to San Francisco later, I was attending a car valet with a car I stole.

"Thanks Miss, nice car!" The valet driver complimented.

"It's not mine, anyway, is your name Katy?" I asked her, she was highly confused.

"Yeah, uh, who are you?" She asked, "Hang in, are you-"

"Amazing? Yeah. Listen, where's your friend Shang-Chi, I heard he has the cure to that song Single Ladies?" I asked her.

"He's on his lunch, wait-" She was low key panicking, "Reddit said you were dead!"

"And half of Twitter said I was a Milf, there not always right, can you grab him for me?" I asked.

"Um sure, why not, yeah okay!" She ran off.

Before long a rather tall and awkward individual arrived out in a ridiculous looking vest, looking very nervous.

"Ma'am.." He offered his hand for a shake.

"Dude you're literally older than me don't call me ma'am.."

"I'm sorry.."

"I emailed Wong, he said you had some cool magic circles and your friend there knows all the world to the song 'Hotel California'. Would you like to get in a jet and kill some aliens?" I asked him.

"Uh-"

"He would! We definitely would, like 100%.." Katy barged in.

"Follow me, we've got work to do.." I instructed them.

"But we need to park your car.." Shang replied.

"That's legally not my car and I legally should never have been driving it.." I smirked.

The pair followed along, arriving onto the jet and asking like, a thousand questions in the space of five seconds.

"Where are we going?!" Katy asked.

"New York.." Loki answered.

"Are you kidnapping us?!" She asked again.

"Yes.." Shuri answered.

"Can I call my mom?!" Katy asked again.

"This isn't prison, you have free will.." I smiled.

I mean even hungover I can get work done and , I can productively avoid my problems. We're not gonna talk about Wanda and me, I would need to be wasted for that type of conversation.