Final Total: 3.8 (reshelved)

Reader 1:

Cover: 2/4 It's nice! A bit busy, but I really like the font you used (can you tell me what it is?). In the blurb, however, there is no mention of fights and swords, other than Sora's blade of light, and these are rather standard edition blades of steel. I can't really make out what that is on the right sword, are those flowers? It looks a little bit like cabbage. Considering the one on the left has bits of light flickering about it I am assuming the cabbage is meant to be darkness?

I don't think you really need the "Novel written by" part. That's something you'd usually see in non-fiction.

It is a good effort, but I am not sure how it relates to the blurb... The planet in the background, and the "lens flare" feel very Star Trek-y, but the blurb doesn't mention space travel at all. Rather, the cover has rather a fantasy feel to it, with the mages and all.

Title: 1.5/2  Just looking at the title it is very clear this is for a scifi book. It's bold, and although I've got no idea what it means, it does have a certain gravitas to it. I'm expecting it to slam onto the screen with brute force and loud laser sounds like in the cartoons I watched as a kid. I don't know how it relates to the blurb, because you don't really mention the Wielders, or the realm...

Blurb: 2/4

You make no mention whatsoever to what "Wielders" are. I am guessing Sora is one - is he 'wielding' the blade of light? But because this is clearly important, considering it takes up half the title and half the cover, it would be nice to have an explanation of what it means and who they are.

The first part of the blurb is perfectly fine, in my opinion, but when you get to Sora's fiancée getting kidnapped it gets a little out of hand. This can be rectified quite easily. You're giving your readers a lot of information, which is good, but it needs to be diluted to be less overwhelming. Tell me, why he is forced to work with Ellery? Why is she an evil henchwoman? What makes her his sworn enemy? Would be also good to have at least the fiancée's name, so she feels more like a character and less a plot device.

When you start talking about Ellery, it would be good to split that into a second paragraph, as you are switching focus onto a different character. The way you describe Ellery's soul "lying in tatters" is quite poetic - I rather like it, but again, would be nice to know a little more.

The last sentence would need a re-looking at, I think, because as it is now, it reads as if Ellery and Malena are the only two who "can bring peace and prosperity to the universe..."

Now for overall thoughts. This story does appeal to me as it is - we have a guy who's been prophesied to be the chosen one, but he doesn't really seem to be hitting the mark with it, and a woman who seems evil but probably isn't considering she's willing to help him. That sounds good. We have a rough idea of a conflict - but this is vague. All of this seems very fantasy adventure - but then I read the tags and they are all romance? Where does arranged marriage come into play? I'm still interested, but now feel like this book might be completely different than what I'm expecting... 

Total: 5.5 (I've put the book back on the shelf)

Reader 2:

Cover: 0/0 What... is this? The huge title and wide-set plain subtitle font say "I am Textbook!" The planet and sun say, "I am Space Textbook!" but then we have ugly fantasy swords that aren't even all the way on the cover, one of which is draped in what looks like some sort of alien vegetable overgrowth, and now I'm getting an "I am Weird Space Fantasy Textbook!" vibe, which just... no. Not picking this one up. Send it back from whence it came and start over.

Title:.5/2 I'll give you credit for having one. But it doesn't pull anything from the blurb at all, and it's awkward. Everything is plural, also, which makes for a lot of 'sssss' ing. What realms? How many are there?

Blurb: 0/4

Grammar: The descriptive phrase 'as a young apprentice' could refer to the blade of light, or Sora, interchangeably

You can streamline these thoughts: 'When his fiancee is kidnapped, he finds himself working with his sworn enemy, Ellery. A henchwoman for the dark mage Malena, Ellery has her own secrets that continue to haunt her soul.' (That's just an example.) 

'Only the two of them' seems to be referring to Malena and Ellery, here, not Ellery and Sora. Sora's last mention is one sentence too far from 'them.'

Content: Hey! Is this a trope-fest, or what? I'm actually impressed by the number of clichés that have been strung together in here. It's like reading a D&D storyboard. This could be the best story ever, but you need to find a way to make it look fresh, here, or you're only going to appeal to a very narrow audience. Specifically, that slice that isn't turned off by the Space Sword of Algae.

I'm all in favor of treating world-building like it's just normal every-day stuff, but there's a way to do it that doesn't make the reader wrinkle their nose and think they must have missed a memo somewhere. Right off the bat, the 'blade of light' just... appears... in Sora's hands. Poof. Ok. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Way too much world-building without any context to put it in! What is a split universe? Why does he get stuck working with the evil Ellery? (No, seriously, there's no reason given other than that his fiancée is kidnapped. Is the Evil Ellery helping him find his fiancée? Is someone else assigning him partners? What's going on! If she's working for Malena, how in the heck do they wind up working together?) Why can only the two of them bring peace and prosperity? The last line is hella confusing. It makes it seem very much like they're gonna bring peace and prosperity, and then Malena's demon army is going to destroy everything once and for all. Probably because that is LITERALLY WHAT IT SAYS. Now, if you mean Ellery and Sora have to fight Malena's demons to keep them from taking over the universe, then that's different. That's stakes. They stand to lose their peace and prosperity if they don't win.

I would go back and lay out a few things. Setting, first. Where is this happening? (I have absolutely no idea. An unknown number of nameless realms apparently.) Introduce main character(s) – good, you've done that a bit. Keep some of it. Kidnapping the fiancée looks like it's the inciting incident, but then the main conflict and obstacles aren't clear. Why are Ellery and Sora stuck with each other if they're enemies? What are they fighting against? (And don't just say 'darkness.') What gets in their way? (Themselves? Malena? Time? The Intergalactic Spaghetti Monster?) Then raise the stakes. What are they going to lose? And last but not least, question that resolution phase: 'For Sora and Ellery, there are only two options: learn to work together before Malena overtakes them, or lose everything.' (NOTE: that's just an example. Write your own.)

And for Pete's sakes, if you must tell everyone when you intend to update, spell the word 'your' correctly.

Total:.5 (I didn't pick this book up.)

Reader 3:

Cover: 2.5/4  The top of this cover is nice. The colours are attractive and the font, spacing and size of letters work. But then the bottom goes all to hell. The Celtic swords with what looks like algae growing on them may offer an interesting design element, but it's largely unnecessary and makes what could look like a serious (or seriously interesting) fantasy/sci-fi novel, clichéd. The yellowish sparkles are fine, but you really don't need the 'by' with the author name, as that comes off as school or as a press release and not what's on the cover of a novel. 

Title: 1.5/2  It's fine. The world "wielder" has enough pep to carry the more factual "protectors of the realms" part. 

Blurb: 1.5/4

Honestly, this sounds like the most standard fantasy fodder ever. A chosen one, a sword, rising darkness, a split universe, a demon army, a dark mage, we've seen that all thousands of times before. So, that's the LAST thing you should let on in the blurb! Might as well slap "This novel contains tropes and nothing but tropes" on the cover. 

Find a way to sell this in a way we haven't seen before -- or maybe not too often. What's the most unique part of the story? Highlight that. Got an interesting twist in there somewhere? Bring that out. Or at least find a way to angle this blurb that makes us want to know more about one of the tropes. What about Ellery? Or the fiancée? Are they some how much different than what we'd expect?  Give us reasons to chose this story over another one of the same genre! 

Total: 5.5 (I've put the book back on the shelf)