Final Total: 1.6 (reshelved)

Reader 1:

Cover: 0/4 Oh no no no no no. Where do I start with what's wrong with this cover? Too many factors with different levels of colour intensity all thrown together in a hodge podge and blood spilled right smack dab in the middle. The scales at the bottom I'm certain go with the story, but they look misplaced there and too bright. The eyes at the top are okay, but why is this lady peering around a planet? The arc of the planet's atmosphere isn't enough off centre to create a pleasing off-set to the blood-smeared title.

"A novel by" sounds like a press release or a school essay, not what needs to be on the cover. Just your name is enough. The font used for the title is fine, as is the placement of the author name.

Title: 0/2  Ummmm...thought I was already here? You're going to have to do a lot of explaining to justify that kind of a title.

Blurb: 1/4

A story is discernible in here, but it's buried under too complex and convoluted verbiage to be able to follow with any degree of accuracy. Only after a second -- maybe a third -- reading, do some of the pieces begin to fall into place. But by far not all!

Too many creatures, too many twists and turns, too much about too much that you've made up so it means nothing to a potential reader.

To get your fat fish on the hook and reel them in the door, you need to be VERY clear about the story. VERY clear. You're telling us way too much by half. With 50% of the information gone, and a focus on what happens to Alexandra (guessing she's the MC?) we might stand a chance of understanding the basic idea, and deciding if this is something we want to spend our money on. 

One of the hardest things about writing a blurb is what to tell, and what to leave out. For example, is the bit with Lanx REALLY important to the main plot, or is that a subplot? If it's a subplot, leave it out, or only hint at it. The reader can discover those parts when they read.

Total: 1 (I've put the book back on the shelf)

Reader 2:

Cover: 1/4 Oooff this is busy. Why the eyes? Why the blood? Why the scale - that one is really baffling me. It seems like you chose a bunch of images you liked and just stuck them all together without much forethought.

I would suggest you remove everything but the image of Pluto (also #PlutoissmallerthanRussia) and the title, and try from there. With book covers, less is more. You have a nice font, but the blood splatter makes it unreadable.

Title: 1/2  While I'm not sure how well this works as a book title, ironically it would make a pretty good card for a newborn. Saying that, it is the best part of what I have seen here.

Blurb: .5/4

Well... "Chaos begins with a lie" is a pretty interesting line, and I can see how it relates to the rest of the blurb, but honestly it is the best part of it. Sadly, it only goes downhill from there.

So, if I am understanding this correctly: Alexandra is some evil woman who trains exiles from a prison world run by Red in order to defeat some creatures (or creature, singular, I am not sure because you alternate). Phoenix is one of the people she teaches. That is clear.

However:

Who is Lanx? He kind of just appears without explanation, although the way you introduce him makes me think that he is Phoenix. If so, please make that clearer. Or use only one name. You introduce enough characters as it is.

The exiles have extraordinary skills? Or are these separate people? Are the exiles the creatures Alexandra's mentees hunt? Or are the creatures Alexandra's mentees, but once they question her? Nothing is clear. So many questions.

If Lanx preys on the vulnerable, then Alexandra teaching him not to would mean that she... isn't evil?

Who is the newcomer? Who are the "all" that feel cages? The exiles? The creatures? Are they all the same?

Why was her meeting with Red disastrous? Does it matter? I though Alexandra was busy teaching Lanx a lesson... or scaring Phoenix into submission... when did she have time for a meeting?

Who on earth are the Ascendants?

Who on earth are the Soul Stealers? (please make this stop.)

Who betrayed Miel? Was it Red? Or Alexandra? How would killing Soul Stealers betray Miel? Because I have absolutely no context whatsoever about who any of these people/things/concepts are, I have no way of knowing what you are talking about.

If Miels family and world are gone because of Alexandra... then wouldn't he know she betrayed them, rather than just think so because of the Soul Stealer business? Or is Miel looking for revenge on behalf of the Soul Stealer that is dead?

Who on earth is Nika and why is he harbouring a neons-old grudge?

Why are Miel and Nika devising a plan with "moving pieces" (what does this even mean) that would keep them from escaping? Or are they keeping the exiles from escaping... or trying to keep Alexandra from escaping? Also, and this is really the least of your worries: "With the help of Nika (...), *he* spent".

The last sentence makes little sense. Try "With the many powerful enemies Alexandra has made, even Red's aid won't be enough to quell the exiles' unrest.". Or something like that.

As you can see, I only have questions after reading this blurb. Nothing is clear to me, and that's going to mean -- back on the shelf.

Total: 2.5 (I've put the book back on the shelf)

Reader 3:

Cover: 0/4 This is a weird mix of wrong things. The eyes are too dark. The planet edge is too centered. The words aren't bright enough, and the scales are too bright. Part of this says 'interspace saga,' and another part says 'Law and Order.' The two are too polar to mix well. Pick one. Eyes, or planet. Lose the dumb bloodstain, it makes your title illegible. Use a pen name that looks like an actual name, not a screen name (screen-names say, 'Hi, I'm 15 and I live on my mom's couch playing online games,' not 'I'm serious about my craft, I'm not wasting your time.') Also, lose the 'A Novel By.' What is this, a school assignment? I would say just scrap the whole dang thing and start over.

Title: 0/2 Why is this the title? Is it... irony? Sarcasm? Are you trying to be witty? It's not working. There isn't anything in the blurb to tie it to other than that there are prisoners that come from another world. 

Blurb: 0/4 This needs to go back to square one. It took me three tries to find any sort of plot arc, and I'm still not sure I've actually got it. The first two sentences are pretty interesting, and then it all goes swirling right down the crapper. You have too many MCs, none of your MCs are described well (aside from Alexandra, who is apparently some sort of villain by the end of the blurb), there isn't any sort of firm kicker that sets off the action (consequently gutting any main conflict you might have had), and for the life of me I can't figure out what the main conflict is. The betrayal? The machinations? Quelling the unrest?

Right now, this thing reads like some sort of TV show episode description. (Second time I've had to say this.) But it's season 5, and you're dumping 4 seasons' worth of info on me. Your main character descriptions assume the reader knows too much, and I'm thinking your plot is way too complicated. You really need to slim things down.

Total: 0 (I put this book back on the shelf)