"No matter how hard you try, it will all be for nothing" - something uwu snatcher learnt irl
~~~

Dear diary,
This whole week I was meant to be studying like my classmates but I ended up having an affair with couch-san, bed-chan is now depressed and nearly attack couch san his sleep! I worry for his safety and paid bed-chan to console with lamp senpai, I feel they are having an intimate relationship when I'm not looking, as long as bed-chan is feeling better I don't really mind. Today I have woken up from my pillow fort I have created with couch-san, he seems to enjoy my company, I hope bed chan will forgive me.

Closing my book I was already prepared for school

Now I know you guys might be questioning "wait, (y/n) actually got up early and is prepared for school like a normal human being?" Either I'm right or author-sama has low expectations for me, but yes! I am prepared and ready!

Why do I have too much free time?

I woke up 4am with a nightmare, I blame my arrogant self for watching an asian horror movie, those fucking asians are too good at doing their jobs

I left my house and caught a bus because I've had too many warnings from the law telling me to stop flying to school

While on the bus I decided to have a nice chat with author-sama to stop being salty about the new rule in her school of banning phones

When I arrived at school I decided that was enough obliterating the 4th wall that the readers keep needed to fix and get to class

{time skip brought to you by author being in a constant state of cold and her siblings opening the car window to see her suffer}

Practical exam time bitches, everyone was wearing their hero costume and was lined up

Standing in front of us were a bunch of teachers, caterpillar sensei starts the lesson

"Let's begin your practical exam, it's is of course possible to fail this exam. If you want to attend training camp then don't mess this up. Knowing you guys, your probably asked around and think you have a vague idea of how this'll go..."

"ITS ROCKET RUMBLE, LIKE THE ENTRANCE EXAM!!" Pikachu screams

"Fireworks!! Curry!! Truth or dare!!" Pinky cheers with excitement

'Oh yeah, I remember pinky talking about how the practical exams is going to be like the entrance exam'

"Not quite!! Various circumstances have demanded a revision to the exam format!" The principal popped out of caterpillar-sensei'a scarf

Principal starts explaining that there are so many fucking villains yeeting themselves into our training so they need to make the exam harder, something along those lines

"As such you students will be pairing up and fighting one of the teachers you see here!" Principal gestured to all the teachers that stood behind him

'So I'll be fighting a teacher?! This can't be that bad, right?'

"Your pairings and assigned teacher have already been decided. Your battle moves, your grades, your friendship with one another. All these factors and more were considered so without further ado..." principal let caterpillar sensei take over

"First, todoroki is with yaoyorozu... Against me" his grin was as creepy as ever "next is midoryia is with bakugou"

They looked at each other in shock

"And your opponent..."

"WILL BE ME" all might was standing behind them, he- HOLY FUCK HIS TALL AF!!

*ahem* all night continued to talked to them as moss head and porcupine froze in shock "you'll have to work together to win, so come at me you two"

'Haha, those 2 are so fucked glad I'm not them!'

"Eleven stages have been prepared and all teams will begin simultaneously. The test guidelines will be explained by your respective opponents. None of the areas are outside the school grounds, but let's not waste anymore time, get going." Caterpillar sensei explains

In 10 minuets everyone was sorted into their groups, all but me

I felt like they forgot me... putting my hand up I ask "principal! I don't have a partner nor do I have an opponent! Do I join another team or-"

The principal interrupts me "due to the odd numbers we were planning on placing you with another partner until someone volunteered to be your opponent."

'Volunteered to be my opponent? Who would that-'

*CRACK*

"It seems she's here!" The principal sounded happy

Turning around I see a crater from where my opponent stood

"Hey (y/n), I just dropped by for a visit~" her glares were as scary as ever

The killing intent was leaking out of her causing some people to fall in fear

'WHY DOES GOD HATE ME TODAY!!'

[Satan vs (y/n)]

(Now I could be a dick and end the chapter here for cliff hangers but knowing myself you guys would need to wait a month till I get into the writing mood so I'll continue it)

We arrived at our area, a city, buildings. A fuck ton of em

Getting off the motor bike I wait for mums instructions

"So I'll get straight to the point, your job is to put these handcuffs on me or run your little ass to the exit. You have 30 minutes." She insults me

She throws the handcuffs at me and I try to catch it only for it to fall off my hand and I caught it before it fell on the ground

"Mum I thought I was meant to get a partner-"

"Just like that all mighty idiot I will be wearing speciality made weights, is still underdeveloped and restricts half your speed" she says as she adjusts it till it's comfortable

'I'll still die'

Then an announcement was made "everyone in position? Let's begin the exams, for UA high's first years! Ready?!"

I could tell she was glaring at me with a look of of wolf about to hunt down a bunny "I'll give u 5 seconds to run for your life"

"GO!!"

I activated [flight] trying my best to leave as fast as possible

Flying to the roof of the very buildings will make it harder for Mum to reach me, not only that I kept checking my map in case she moved at all

I glanced around and I found the exit, except that I was flying the wrong way, what a great start

I turned around and started flying the other way, before I flew off full speed a bullet grazed my cheek

'She's using a silencer?!'

I could barely hear the gun, not only that with all the buildings it's already hard to find her

I set up my mana shield to prepare to sprint (aka fly)

Out of no where Mum nin-fucking-jutsued her way in front of me, "too slow" she sent a right hook to my gut, shattering my mana shield in the process.

Without time to even think about how much I was in pain she grabs my leg and flings me to the ground

*cough* I saw blood was coming out of my mouth

"Eh? So weak? What happened to that determination?" She looked amused "c'mon you can't be that useless"

I started freaking out, in front of me I saw great grandma saying hello on the other side of the river

'I can't die now!'

Flipping great grandma off I get back up "in the name of god and all that is holy within" I go into my inventory and throw a bottle of holy water on her eyes "BEGONE UNHOLY THOT" 'this should distract her for a bit'

She was blinded and I used the chance to throw grenades on the floor and take out my pistol

When her vision returned I shot the grenades

*BANG*

*click, BOOM!!*

I didn't even want to think about how she survived that and kept flying to the exit

"(Y/n) you bastard!!" The smoke from the explosion instantly cleared out

'Fuckaduckfuckaduck'

I was flying full speed like my life depended on it, literally

My instinct told me something was coming so I grab my katana and turn around blocking a bullet that was aiming for my heart

"Looks like you've improved since we last fought!"

Her compliment made me feel a little proud inside

"This will make you and even better punching bag!" She finishes

"...." I was sweating and crying at the same time

Another punch came flying into my face causing me to fly into the building next to me

*CRASH*

With the wall broken beyond repair, dust particles fucked up my sight

That and the blood smeared across my face

Using my katana as a cane I grab out my unfinished lunch from a while back and eat it to heal up

[you have consumed (lunch), you've gained 30+ health]

'Better than before'

"Who the fuck said you could have a lunch break???" I saw red eyes glowing in the clouds if dust (auto corrected wanted ducks)

There was no point in running so I did something I never thought I did, I attacked

Swinging my katana down i prepare for Satan's anger

*clank*

I wasnt able to hit her, but what I did hit was a knife hidden in her sleeves, like something straight out of assassins creed

Except that assassin was my mother

Using the hidden knives she took a swing aiming for my head

Due to my fear, I closed my eyes

*BANG*

'I don't feel dead...' opening my eyes I see a bullet hole in front of me and Mum a step back from where she was

"HEY!!! I HEARD THAT YOU WERE IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!!"

Looking up I saw (b/n) in a helicopter, he had some pretty cool looking gear on and a smile on his face

[an ally has joined the battle]

~~~
I've been procrastinating and chilling in discord with all of u, everyone's so nice and supportive so thank you~
Sorry, again....
So I needed to thank a few people:

yrureadingmyusername

Shard369

RM-Uchiha

rosilina012003

Natayesen

CuriousMonkeyy

EmmaTheMenace

YukiiNatsuki

RRoznbeker

KamisamaBooks

MarieAndHerDogs

Kitcc14

greenholiday12

marymartinez29

Now I better get the next chapter ready before I procrastinate again

Also I need to show off drawings!

First off with such a sexy drawing is: AsonaNifux

Next is yet again by a good ol reader that's been with me for a very long time: Ak788Sylveon

And last of all, a new but very nice reader: Iza_Arts