Chapter 28 - Kiss Me

"(...) We're not fighting

Could it be that we have been

This way before

I know you don't think

That I am trying

I know you're wearing

Thin down to the core"

I didn't enjoy the rest of the day very much due to all the thoughts that were running rampantly in my mind. I didn't sleep very well that night either, afraid that Aiden would pop up inside the tent like he had said, which fortunately, didn't happen.

On Sunday we were supposed to go practice radical sports in the mountain, such as abseiling, zip line, etc, but my mind was in no condition of going (and neither was I over enthusiastic to put my life in danger), so I asked Dylan to covered it up for me saying I was sick, and apparently the teachers bought it and let me stay in my tent.

So there I was, alone in the glade full of tents and wooden houses while everyone else was having fun doing radical sports. After an hour, I got tired of being closed inside the tent so I decided to follow one of the rails that we had already explored. But walking in the forest alone is very different from walking with hundreds of students and supervisors.

So of course I got lost.

I was cursing under my breath, trying to suppress the panic that was already forming inside of me, when I heard a loud 'crack' and someone appeared in front of me. I took a step back ready to punch the individual if needed, my heart heavy in my chest, but then I recognized his curly blonde hair and green eyes.

"Kiara?" Matthew asked in surprise.

"Hi." I greeted without much enthusiasm, but I was really relieved that I wasn't alone in the woods anymore.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I got back from the mountain where people are climbing because I'm not really in the mood to climb a mountain." I reminisced him saying he had gone camping with his mother some years ago. Maybe they had gone climbing at that time and now he didn't want to go again because he didn't want to remember it all. It was understandable. "You?"

"Same, but I just didn't even bother to go."

"So you decided to walk alone in the forest. Brilliant." Matthew mocked, grinning. "I can't believe the teachers let you stay alone."

I shrugged.

"They have so many students to take care of and they know I don't get myself in trouble."

"Says the lost girl."

"Who said I'm lost?" I frowned and he shrugged, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well, do you know your way to the tents then?"

I sighed.

"No."

Matthew rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Let's go." He turned around and started walking, not waiting for me to accompany him. 

I rushed myself to follow him and we walked through the forest for about half an hour, when he stopped.

"Kiara..."

"What?"

"I think we're lost."

"Great." I was not in a good mood to talk to anyone, and I sure as hell wasn't in the mood to be lost, so I passed by him and tried to find our way back into the tents, which ended in us being more lost than we already were, if such thing was even impossible.

Feeling frustrated, I let Matthew find the way up to the tents. After fifteen minutes, we started climbing down some stairs and was about to tell Matthew that probably that wasn't the way to the tents when I saw him stopping. I pushed away the leaves of the trees to reach him and see why he had stopped. My breath was immediately taken away once I saw what we had reached, absorbing the beauty of the landscape around us. We had reached the end of a narrow trail, and ahead of us there were more wooden stairs, and those stairs led to the most beautiful swimming hole I had ever seen, the bluish green water with small fish swimming inside.

"It's beautiful." Matthew mumbled.

"It is." I agreed. I took my phone out of my pocket and took some photos. My fear of heights was getting to me a bit because I was just a little afraid of falling into the water so I stepped back, hitting Matthew's chest with my back.

"Sorry." We said at the same time.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" He excitedly pointed out to the swimming hole beneath us.

"Are you sure the stairs won't fall?" I asked. "They seem precarious."

"Well, we'll never know if we don't try them out." Matthew stated and so he started climbing down the stairs carefully. I followed him, my heart beating fast but I managed to climb down the stairs safely.

Once I stepped out of the stairs I turned around and found Matthew shirtless, a playful smirk on his face. I couldn't help but stare at his mucular torso with defined abs.

"Jeez. How aren't you cold?" That was the only thing I could think about to say.

"Well, I guess I'm too hot to be cold." He laughed and I smiled. He took his sneakers out and put one foot in the water.

"It's a little bit cold... but I think we shouldn't let this opportunity pass, so..." Before I understood what he was thinking about, he picked me up bridal style and jumped into the water. I screamed and felt the cold water suffocating me, but I relaxed once I felt Matthew's strong warm arms around me.

He finally let go of me and I came back to surface, shivering slightly.

"If I die, it's your fault." I snapped. "It's December, for God's sake! What were you thinking?"

"That you wanted to enter the water but you were too damn afraid to do it for yourself and since you probably would not want to be in your underwear, I just grabbed you fully clothed and jumped us into the water." Matthew  responded, a proud smile on his face. "Besides, it's a warm day today. The teachers chose this weekend carefully, they knew it'd be warm, otherwise they wouldn't have brought us to the forest in December. They wouldn't want their students to die of cold."

I sighed of frustration. He was right. My blue knitted sweater was totally wet so I pulled it over my head and placed it on the wooden platform, and I also took my sneakers out. Underneath the sweater I was wearing a white shirt with sleeves that pretty much hung onto me, letting Matthew see my black sports bra. And being who he is, of course he looked.

"Satisfied?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Pretty much, yeah." He answered with a lively smile.

I splashed him with the cold water and he did the same to me. Then we swam for some time until we both felt tired so we sat on the wooden platform. I was trembling with the cold so Matthew picked up his hoodie and landed it to me.

"See? You get to see me shirtless and you get to wear my hoodie. Most girls only manage do that naked." He joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Do you mind if I wear it over my... bra?" I questioned uncomfortably. This is turning out to be the weirdest weekend of my life. "Because my shirt is totally wet and I'll continue to be cold and..."

"Sure. I'll look the other way." Matthew assured me.

"Thanks." I took the shirt out and pulled the hoodie on, which of course was too big for me but of course I didn't mind. "And you? Aren't you cold? If you are, you can always wear my knitted sweater which is still wet but it will dry in a minute." I said with a mocking smile.

"Nah... I'm fine. But thanks for asking, because most girls just take the boy's jacket and don't even bother to ask us if we're cold or not, as if we are not humans and are not capable of feeling cold."

"Well, you said it yourself, you're too hot to be cold, so..."

"Did you just admit I was hot?" Matthew teased. I blushed and looked away, watching the little fish swimming. "This is really beautiful here. I'll try to search it on Google Maps so we can come here in the summer."

"We?" I asked.

"Of course." He said, no teasing tone in his voice. We fell into a comfortable silence until I broke it with the most stupid thing I could possibly ever told him. But it was a thing that had been bothered me for so long that I could feel it twisting inside me, and I knew it would explode if I didn't tell someone. I knew Matthew should never be that someone, but there was no one else there with whom I could talk about this.

"Aiden kissed me yesterday."

Matthew stayed quiet so I looked at him to see whether or not he had really listened to me. His eyes were glued to the water, but he finally talked, very calmly. Abnormally calmly. "What?"

"When the cable car system broke down. We were in the same one and..."

I noticed Matthew had his fists clenched and his jaw was tense.

"I can't believe he kissed you... I'm going to kill him."

"Cut the bullshit, Matthew. It was one kiss and it meant nothing to me. So promise me you won't start a fight with him." I said abruptly, instantly regretting having told him.

"I can't promise you that! He kissed you!" He finally reacted the way I was expecting him to react. His voice was now louder and his eyes were fixed on me with anger on them.

"Exactly. He kissed me. He didn't kiss you. This is my business, not yours. So you have no right to go throw some punches at him for that, because that's probably what he wants. Promise me you'll be superior, Matthew."

Matthew shook his head but I noticed him bit his lip, thinking.

"I'll promise... with one condition." He spoke, and his voice was lower and softer, almost attractive. 

I raised an eyebrow and questioned him anyway, despite the bad feeling that was starting to form within me. "And what condition is that, may I know?"

"You have to kiss me." His eyes were sparkling as if he was hopeful. 

"W-what?" I gasped and my eyes widened. Me and my stupid mouth, why couldn't I just be silent? Now he knew Aiden had kissed me and I wasn't one hundred percent sure some fight wasn't going to happen between them, and in order to prevent that from happening, I had to kiss Matthew. Just my luck. Of course I didn't want to kiss Matthew, and of course I didn't want to let myself be blackmailed by him, and of course I could simply not kiss him, but a part of me needed to sort out my feelings, to know whether or not kissing Matthew would have the same effect on me as kissing Aiden. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer though.

"Kiss me." He repeated.

"You want me to kiss you just so you can be in the same boat as him?"

"No. I want you to kiss me because I feel like having a kiss."

"Oh, if that's so, then there are plenty other girls who would adore to be kissed by you." I assured him. 

"Yeah, but there's a fallacy in the wonderful logic of that argument. Those girls are not you." His eyes were gleaming dangerously.

"I... I don't know..." What was I saying 'I don't know' to? I didn't want to kiss him! But deep down I knew. I knew I was saying I don't know to myself. I don't know what I feel anymore. I don't know why Aiden's kiss affected me so much. I don't know if Matthew's kiss will affect me as well. And I'm not sure I want to find out. But I need to, nonetheless. Most of all, I don't know how things got so out of my control. I don't know how I let myself got involved so deeply in this whole situation, how I let myself be affected by them. And I'm terrified of finding out the truth and realize what I truly feel. But why am I so scared?

"Well, then if you can't decide, I'll just have to do this." He jumped into the water, pulling me with him. I shouted once more, feeling the cold again. I felt the adrenaline rush inside my veins and the nasty feeling of doing something without properly thinking about it before.

I got closer to him, being moved by so much determination that I couldn't control myself. What is happening to me?

"Fine. You want me to kiss you?" I pulled him closer and he leaned over to me, so I put my hands on his chest and stood on my toes, giving him a quick peck on the cheek that slightly brushed his lips.

A smirk grew on his face. "I'm sure you know that's not enough."

And so he pulled me even closer to him, his hands around my waist, my hands on his wet chest, and I could feel his heart beating rapidly. He leaned over to me and softly pressed his lips against mine in a hesitant move. Our lips moved in sync and once he saw I was kissing him back, he increased the intensity of the kiss. I couldn't feel the cold water anymore, the heat spreading through my body, and I noticed him smile against my lips.

The kiss wasn't rough and salty and it didn't remind me of the beach like Aiden's did, it was rather more delicate, sweet, like eating cotton candy in a street fair or strawberry with melted chocolate.

My heart was bumping in my chest, but it had bumped too with Aiden, so what did it mean? Did I like any of them? How was I supposed to know, when both kisses had felt good and right yet also wrong, and when both kisses had been so different, one rough and furious, the other sweet and delicious?

I finally pulled back, trying to catch my breath. Matthew was smiling and his eyes were shimmering.

"I would kiss you back right now, Kiara... but I'm afraid if I do so I'll end up falling for you..."

My heart started beating even faster if possible, but Matthew hadn't quite finished yet.

"...even more than I already do." 

"(...) I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you

Is impossible to find

You're impossible to find."

Picture is the swimming hole, so beautiful ^-^

And the music is "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade.