✧ Reviewer :: CoolWhenUrBatman
✧ Reviewee :: _jugnuu_
✧ Book :: Through Her Eyes

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◖Basics :: 10 | 20◗

⚘ Cover :: 02 | 05

◍ It doesn't convey the genre of the book and it's not very well made. The face claims don't go well together, and it's very basic. This wouldn't get the readers attention. Your characters are a pilot and a singer and when I look at the cover I don't see that or anything related to the book. Try making something along the lines of your book or if you're unable to, you can always order from a graphic shop.

⚘ Synopsis :: 02 | 05

◍ It's not very compelling. When I read it I wasn't feeling excited at the prospect or curious. You need something to draw the readers in, you have to make it exciting. It all seems very bland to me. Very monotonous. The first paragraph is good, it's the second part that needs work. Make it a longer summary and give some information to the readers but not enough to spoil the story. Something like the prelude you have in the first chapter would work wonders.

⚘ Title :: 04 | 05

◍ Very nice and related to the story.

⚘ Execution :: 02 | 05

◍ You have a good idea but your lacking in your execution. Fixing these points I've made can help you a lot.

○ Plot & Creativity :: 05 | 10

◍ It's moving very fast. I get that it's a short book but it's all very rushed. So before something has happened, something else is happening and it's just very messy. Write more, extend the chapters and make it more authentic.

○ Writing Style :: 07 | 10

◍ You should spend more time describing and building the story. Second paragraph of the first chapter, you start narrating about how there are no taxis and such, when you could've easily written it, adding more details makes it better. Build a base. Describe everything, but don't take away from the story.

◖Grammar & Vocabulary :: 15 | 20◗

⚘ Grammar :: 06 | 10

◍ There's a problem with commas in dialogues.

It's not "hey.", she waved.

It's: "hey," she waved.

"Nice to see you here." (No commas this time cause it's not followed by anything.)

When they say something and it's followed by an action by the same person or related to the topic, there's a comma inside the ""

Same goes for when they say it before, for example:

She ran to him, "Hi!"

This is a vast topic but these are the basics.

Your grammar is good but I spotted a few mistakes, some dropped articles and wrong tenses. I suggest you run it through an app (google docs or Grammarly) or if you have someone whose English is good you can ask them to beta for you. Or even an editing shop. 

⚘ Vocabulary :: 09 | 10

◍ Good grasp on vocabs and a wide range of lexical resources.

○ Emotions Conveyed :: 04 | 10

◍ Due to the writing style it's hard to feel connected. I couldn't connect with them and feel their emotions. Fixing the writing style, pace of the plot, characters could help you in this.

○ Character Development :: 04 | 10

◍ They don't have a foundation. They don't have the characteristics a character needs to have. I didn't feel them, they were just rushed words with minimum feelings.

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Total :: 45 | 80

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