✧ Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals
✧ Reviewee :: onestraykid
✧ Book :: The Hesitants

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◖Basics :: 10.5 | 20◗

⚘ Cover :: 01 | 05

◍ The cover . . . could be way better. All the elements in it, including the background clashed with each other. The fonts, picture selection — everything. I suggest you re-design the cover, to one that suits the book and correlates with it. There're plenty of graphics shops on Wattpad so you've no trouble.

⚘ Synopsis :: 03 | 05

◍ The synopsis was good. It didn't have me fall for the book, but it was still good. There are some errors that I did notice, however. First paragraph, the usage of ellipsis was wrongly numbered. Second paragraph, use 'Y/N', instead of 'Y/n'. In 'long - cherished' the space between the words & hyphen, isn't needed. After the semi colon, the 'I' in 'including' shouldn't be capitalized. There was also a lexical error. The term 'plausible' doesn't suit with its given usage in the first paragraph. 'Possible' would be better.

⚘ Title :: 4.5 | 05

◍ I see what you did there. It's creative. I think it suits the book just well too, so no complaints.

⚘ Execution :: 02 | 05

◍ The execution could be better. From the synopsis, I can see that the writer has an almost fluent writing style, however, I couldn't see the same in the narratives. The cover, like mentioned could be brought about with a change. As for the plot, it was good—just lacked some entrancing elements; not the plot, but the writing style. There's always time for improvement so keep the enthusiasm you have in writing.

○ Plot & Creativity :: 07 | 10

◍ The plot was creative, yes. It's just that the pace was a bit off. Here and there, it gave me a feeling that it was being rushed, you know? But kudos to creativity. Writing it using a screenplay structure was a good idea. I hope that you learn more about screenplay and do better at conveying the plot. There are different kinds of screenplay structures; you can choose one that perhaps matches your writing style.

○ Writing Style :: 05 | 10

◍ Alright. So, I don't exactly know how to put this. The writing style was very . . . mundane. Monotone, even. Like mentioned under the plot & creativity section, everything was rushed. I've read a fair amount of published screenplays, so I know how much of a description you can include. In the book, it was a bare minimum. Like, there was no flavor, you know what I mean? Throw in some extravagant words, make it fancy. Add in a tad bit of more details in the winding out and it'll solve the problem.

◖Grammar & Vocabulary :: 11 | 20◗

⚘ Grammar :: 06 | 10

◍ Incorrect usage of hyphens ran throughout the book. If I were to address all there errors in grammar, they'd namely be ellipsis, semi colons, commas and hyphens. When you use an ellipsis, you use 3 periods & only 3 periods. Anything more or lesser than the said value is incorrect. For a semi colon, like I mentioned under the synopsis's category, you don't capitalize the succeeding letter, unless it's a proper noun. There are some places where you used a comma unnecessarily, and there are some where you didn't use one at all. As for hyphens, they were misused. When you add in a phrase or sentence that's not an actual part of a given sentence, you use an em dash (—), not a hyphen (-).

⚘ Vocabulary :: 05 | 10

◍ The usage of words didn't really cover a huge lexical spectrum. Could do better. Try using some fancy synonyms here and there, really helps. Don't make the whole thing too complicated, but not too simple either.

○ Emotions Conveyed :: 04 | 10

◍ Again, like I mentioned previously, the writing style really makes it a bit mundane. That made it hard for me to relate to the character, and scenarios. I think you can describe more on their feelings. Not excessively, 'cause then you'd stray away from a screenplay structure, but you can touch a minimum.

○ Character Development :: 07 | 10

◍ This is kind of complicated. Now, I can say that each of the characters have a spotlight of their own, which is splendid news. But, the writing style made it a bit hard to relate, you know what I mean? As for development, it's evident. So good job on that!

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Total :: 44.5 | 80

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