I drank lots of coffee while I stared at Chivel. I needed to be on full alert if Chivel wakes up. I tried talking to Expurge again. He didn't respond at all. I tried talking to him through my head, Out loud, even doing both while using the defend card. But nothing.

I also took this chance to observe what type of demon Chivel was. According to Rewind there's at least five types of sleep a demon has, and can change throughout the day.

Chivel's legs and arms twitched from time to time, and Chivel would grumble quietly in their sleep as well. Chivel's tail quivered a lot too.

From this observation Chivel's sleep is type five. wounded. Wounded is basically this, usually happens when a demon is severely injured according to Rewind. Kinda obvious.

But I'll list out the rest of the other types what Rewind told me because they live in my head rent free.

The first type is called peaceful, peaceful demons are usually the ones who get better sleep because they've done something that satisfied them that day.

The second type is paralysis, paralysis demons don't move at all, it makes them look dead almost but in reality paralysis demons get more Luis dreams then the others.

The third is called ocean, ocean is when the demon is usually sad, and needs comfort or something traumatic happened to them.

Fourth, puppet. Puppet demons are usually just sleeping to use an ability or controlling someone.

And hey I didn't know all of this. Rewind did. And soon enough as I remembered what Rewind said Chivel woke up. Chivel groaned in pain as they tried to stand up.

"Chivel you worked yourself quite enough."
I gently pushed Chivel back down on the couch.

Chivel seems dazed, I don't know if Chivel knows it's me yet.
Chivel huffed as they sat back down, but I could tell Chivel wasn't irritated by the pain, they were irritated by me.

"I'll go get some water."
I stood up and trotted over to the kitchen. I took a glass cup and filled it up with water.
Then quickly slid back to Chivel.

Chivel sat up and wrapped the blanket around themselves.

"Here ya go!"
I tried to say brightly as I handed the glass over to Chivel.

Chivel took the water with their two claws gently. They stared at it for a while.

"Why are you helping me..?"
Chivel asked suddenly.

I froze. I'm not sure why am I helping Chivel? Maybe the scene didn't feel right to not interfere. So I simply shrugged and answered.

"There was just a feeling I needed to interfere. And Rewind might kill me if I don't."
I sat next to Chivel on the end of the couch and sat on top of it.

"So do you work for Rewind..?"
Chivel croaked while drinking the water slowly.

"Eh kinda, I feel like Rewind partially adopted me since I was eight."
I leaned back more.

"Since eight?"
Chivel flicked their tail.

"Yeah, I..I escaped from somewhere a long time ago and Rewind found me and took me in."
I smiled.

"Oh. I'm just saying, I hope you don't do these with other people at the trading hub. This will happen often. I should go, I don't want you feeling pity for me."
Chivel stood up.

I grabbed Chivel's claws quickly.

"You can stay, I don't mind."
Chivel looked at me for a while before sighing and sitting back down.

"I'm sorry if I cause or have caused too much trouble."
Chivel apologized.

"You don't need to be sorry."
I rested Chivel's claws on our laps, I then patted Chivel's claws gently.

"You just haven't gotten enough comfort in your life."
I smiled softly.

Chivel sighed.

"If you need me I'll be in my room, rest a little though."
I then stood up and walked over to my room.

Chivel didn't respond but I think Chivel heard because they laid down and drifted back to sleep.

I then walked into my room, I glanced at the window near my bed and closed the curtains.

I then crawled up my bed and stared at the wall.

I can't help but think often. Of how bad of a person I am.

I'm not sure if I'm human anymore. I think I am though.

But...I hate myself. I'm stupid. I'm a stupid freaking idiot. Stupid stupid stupid.

I keep forgetting to be a decent person, how is attacking, killing, being rude to someone decent? I'm not sure.

I eventually drifted off to sleep. When I woke up it was pouring outside. I went to check on Chivel immediately.

Chivel was in the kitchen cooking.

"Where's Rewind?"
I asked tiredly.

"Work, Rewind needed to finish some stuff early."
Chivel answered as they placed an omelet on a plate.

"Hungry?"
Chivel asked as I sat down on the table near the kitchen.

"Not really."
I sighed.

"You should eat."
Chivel placed the plate in front of me.

"Why are you being nice to me?"
I asked, hesitantly picking up the fork next to me.

"Returning the favor for saving my life is all."
Chivel smiled slightly.

"Are you going to leave soon?"
My ears twitched as I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

"Do you want me to?"
Chivel asked.

"I'm not sure."
I responded.

"Rewind said I could stay for a little while, this was my crash site apparently."
I heard Chivel chuckle a little.

"I see."
I finally stabbed my fork in the omelet and ate it.

"Is it good?"

"Hm?"
I looked up.

"Is the omelet good?"
Chivel asked.

"Yeah."
I took another bite.

"Good to know."

"I don't feel like eating though."
I pushed the plate away from me a bit.

"Oh okay, hey where are you going?"
I was about to leave the base.

"I'm going to find Rewind."
I responded and opened the door to head over to his trading hub.

I eventually made it to the trading hub. I sat down at the table but Rewind was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, thanks for saving me from Chivel."
A familiar voice thanked me.

I turned around and saw Crepitate, the colorful demon that I saved when I first came here.

"No problem, I just couldn't stand there alone watching you get pushed around."
I slightly joked.

Crepitate chuckled. He seems so friendly. I don't know how anyone would hate him.

"You see me and Chivel kinda got in a fight... Chivel needed somewhere to crash. And I did too. But Chivel decides to focus on something other than shelter that day."
Chivel relaxed his wings.

"That's understandable. You can crash at my place but Chivel reserved a spot as well at my place."
I rubbed my head as I offered Crepitate to stay at my place.

"Oh sure, I'll just apologize to Chivel. And we should get along just fine again."
Crepitate smiled.

"Good enough then."
I smiled back.

I brought Crepitate back to our place and just like Crepitate said he apologized. And Chivel accepted his apology so now we just hang out now. Like a sleepover. It's honestly, comforting. surprisingly both Chivel and Crepitate are like my anchor to the world. Even Rewind pointed it out.

"My, my, I'm proud that you've made some friends for once. Tell them they can stay as long as they want. You need them I think. And I think they need you too, any demon would be lucky enough to hang around with you."
Rewind had said.

And honestly he's right. We'd walk around daily, watch some TV and argue which characters are the best, have small food fights and get in trouble together. It's great. And it's still great. And I hope it will. It helps me feel better about myself.

I'm not stupid. I'm not an idiot. I'm me. And I've found the perfect anchors to hang out with. And I don't need to show how broken I am. Even if I am, they help me. I hope this will never end. But I'm starting to think I'm afraid of abandonment. I know it won't happen, it think...but I shouldn't think about it much. I'm living my life. Loving it. Embracing it. Cherishing it. It just feels too much like a dream. But it's real.
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This might've been too cheesy sorry- and I realized how much it could sound like a vent- I swear it isn't- I'm doing fine :]

But idk- I'm a bit hesitant and I'm sorry I posted this pretty late XD y'all are probably sleeping right now.