"If you didn't remember something happening, was it because it never had happened? Or because you wished it hadn't?"
-Jodi Picoult (Plain Truth)

N A T A S H A

April 1, 2018

7:00 pm

The music blasted out at full volume, sounding very unpleasant to my ears. On the contrary, all the other people in the club seemed to enjoy the loud beats and danced on the rhythms as they ground against each other. Not really my place.

Valeria lead me to the bar passing through the excited and sweaty bodies on our way while I tried my best not to have physical contact with any of them. After Aditya had left for a business trip, I spent the entire weekend helping my new neighbor who had just shifted into the apartment next to ours, and so we ended up becoming really great friends.

"My brother wants to live with me but I can't tolerate him all the time!" Valeria shouted over the music as she ordered drinks for both of us." Anyway, you have the interview tomorrow, right? You, prepared?"

"Yeah, I guess. Fingers crossed." I laughed. Maybe for not getting the job.

"Great!" She cheered, placing a drink in front of me.

"Oh! I don't drink, actually." I said pushing the glass towards her.

"You're no fun. Come on,"

"No, no. Adi is coming back today, I need to leave early anyway." I shrugged." And about your brother, why don't you ask him to pay you some rent, I'm sure that will scare him off if he really is how you describe him to be, 'player with a childish but golden heart', right?" I laughed at the way she always talked about her older brother. Poor him.

"That's a pretty good idea, I love you, Nat. Can't you marry me?" She whined, poking my face. Immediately, I felt a vibration in my pocket and took out my phone.

"I really wish I could, Val. Now, if you would excuse me, it's the one I'm marrying." I smiled as I made my way outside the club.

"Hey," I spoke into the phone, trying to catch my breath.

"Why are you not at home? And where the hell is dinner?" Aditya snapped.

"I was out with...a friend. I didn't know you would be back so soon. It was a late-night flight, right?" 

"I don't think I need to explain every little detail to you, yeah? God, Natasha, you need to learn something form your family. Come back, I'm ordering some food. And please do not go out anywhere without informing me. Okay?"

"I am coming. Sorry," I apologized. I gave the club one last glance before getting into a taxi.

7:30 pm

" Did you order in?" I asked as I placed my purse on the dining table making my way towards the fridge.

"Yes, Chinese." He replied drying his wet hair. I hate Chinese food, ugh.

"Okay." I sighed while pouring a glass of freshly made orange juice in a glass, just like he asked me before going to the shower. 

"So, where were you?" He asked turning on the air conditioner.

"To a club. It's just a five-minute distance by car." I replied handing him the glass of juice.

"Wow, you have been here for a few days and you already went to a club?" He sniggered.

"Valeria insisted," I tried to reason with him. I had no intention of letting this beautiful day end up on a bad note.

"Who is she?"

"She just moved in, 404." 

"Wait, did you drink?" He asked looking at me furrowed eyebrows.

"What? No. I was offered-"

"What the hell? Just two days I leave you alone, and you go around drinking with strangers! Unbelievable! Do I need to babysit you now or something?" Aditya shouted slamming the glass on the table.

"No. No. I-"

"You know what, I really need to tell this to your father." He stated, taking out his phone.No, no, no.

"No, stop. Adi, I really didn't drink. I won't even go out anymore, I promise." I begged. I can't embarrass my family like that. I just can't. I placed my palms on his shoulder, trying to help him relax while explaining myself. 

"Stop it. Don't touch me. Stop!" Adi shrugged off my hand.

Out of agitation and fear, I placed both of my hands on his arms trying to pull when I suddenly felt a tremendous sting on my left cheeks, followed by a sound as loud as a clap. My hair covered my vision as I clutched my face, looking down with my eyes tearing.

"Just, just go to sleep." Aditya stuttered, clearly surprised by his own actions. He put his phone on charge and walked into his room, leaving me stranded in the same position.

Never in my whole life has anyone placed a single finger on me in that way. And today, I let the situation come to this. He probably had his reasons, right? He was tired and angry so he did it. Yes, that's it. Rule #4, Nat. 

8:30 pm

Running isn't helping. After serving him dinner that he had ordered, I quietly left the apartment to take out my frustration and anger by running. That's what I have always been doing since childhood. Run if you feel pain, run if you feel angry, run if you feel sad, run if...if someone slaps you. Right.
But today it just wasn't working. No matter how much I ran, the slap was playing in my mind like a bloody loop. On and on.

"Four beers please," I ordered entering a bar, after deciding to actually drink away the pain. Whatever had to happen, already happened so why not change it into the truth. Might help.

One after one I finished the bottles so fast that I couldn't even keep up the count. Isn't it wonderful, how a bottle of beer tastes so good with pain? 
After some time which seemed like a long, long time I mustered the courage to run back home. But somehow, maybe because of the beer, I had totally forgotten the direction. I had no idea where I was going, but I just kept running aiming for nowhere. The pitch-black rabbit hole that I saw every night had finally become my reality. Congrats.

After an eternity of running, I had finally reached...a secluded alley? I walked up to the end of the road to discover a house that seemed quite old and scary. Against the dark night sky, all I could see was cracked windows and crumbled walls. I entered through the wooden gate, which led to a narrow passage that finally opened up to a large stadium. With a boxing podium right in the middle, there were all sorts of punching bags and equipment hanging from a false ceiling. Hearing some huffed and muffled sounds, I made my way deeper inside while ogling at the enormous center. I got so engrossed in its beauty that I tripped over some pair of shoes, losing my balance only to be saved by a pair of firm hands. I gained back my balance, looking up at the stranger. Because of the gloomy light and my blurred vision, I could hardly make out his facial features but noticed how fit and muscular he was. His sharp features were outlined by a ray of light entering through a window. Hot.

"Are you lost?" He asked removing his grip on my arms.

"Can I like...punch?" I asked, alcohol taking control over my body and speech.

"Are you a member?" 

"No. I just need to punch." I giggled making my way towards one of the bags.

"Wait, no. It doesn't work like that." He shouted coming after me.

"Whatever," I said starting to punch the bag with all my strength. Maybe this could help?
"Ow!!" I screeched as pain rushed from my palms to my shoulder.

"I told you, it doesn't work like that. You seem drunk, give me your phone let me call someone." He sighed.

"No!" I whined.

"You are literally trespassing. It's either the cops or your phone. Decide," He said, sounding stiff. Even his voice is hot.

" Hot," I murmured softly and unintentionally.

"Excuse me?" He questioned.

"You know what, cops would be better. Way better. At least they'll treat me like a criminal and not garbage. I'll be able to make my decisions and not get slapped for going to a club, right? I mean, the only contact on my phone is my fiancé, who might slap me again if you wake him up from his sleep because all he thinks about is himself. My mother always told me how we should wait for the right person and spend the rest of our life in love but they just forced me into this freaking marriage with a guy who hasn't even touched me yet. And for god's sake, it's been two fucking years! I am 25 and I still don't know how a kiss feels like. I mean, at this point I wouldn't even mind if a stranger-" I got stopped suddenly by his warm lips pressed against mine. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words could never describe. I wanted to pull away but I just couldn't seem to. In this little moment, my senses had been seduced and I failed to think straight. Instead, I kissed back turning the kiss into a hot and passionate one. My arms reached up and tangled around his thick, strong neck while his hand rested below my ear, pulling me closer as our breaths mingled. I finally pulled away, completing my sentence," Kissed me,"

What in the world did I just do?

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Yours truly,