THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT AN UPDATE

THIS JUST HAPPENED A DAY AGO , JUST RIGHT ON MY BIRTHDAY AND I AM TRAUMATISED OVER IT .

i had a good day yesterday , i spent my time talking , reading , being active and responding to most of my things . i- nutshell enjoyed the day until it was 9 in the morning when i heard that one of my neighbor's grandma who stayed with them died . the reason - i really dont know .

i was not allowed to step out the entire day due to the death , until the rituals ended . but my strict parents did not let me go even after that event . and i had to obey them both .

the day was fine as usual until the night came ,

i went to sleep , while my sister who used to sleep next to me [sharing bed] was walking outside . i just lied down in the bed and was staring at the ceiling . i think maybe it might have been half an hour later i closed my eyes and drifted to sleep - something which takes me a long time to do

then i heard a humming sound of a lady of 40? or more than 40 , right in my bed room . i woke up at that moment and looked around and saw no one - really . at a corner i saw all the lights off below the door which meant my parents went to sleep .

i was totally unable to move and started sweating right at night , which never happened till now . and then the humming sound increased , i was becoming scared moment by moment . the humming really sounded like a singing , i have never heard such a sound , but rather it sounded really calming and that was the scariest thing .

i ended up curling myself and hugged my legs while hearing to it . at a certain point i was unable to do anything and i opened youtube all of the sudden and i played the top most music which popped up and it was 'in the middle of the night' and i put it in loud volume and waited .

the moment the song started playing , there were no humming voice . i finally found courage and pulled off my blanket and saw that there was no one except me in the room . when the music ended , i pulled on my blanket and lied on my stomach and closed my eyes again .

what i noticed was that the direction of the voice was not from the door nor from the window which can convince a little that something is being played outside , but from the corner of the room where book shelf and a study table with a rotating chair is there .

before i could sleep fully , the same humming sound came up again . but the sound was rather in a loud tone . i had to close both of my ears . the sound this time was really sounded angry . i closed both of my ears and closed my eyes firmly .

until who knows how long , my sister opened the door . i released the hands and looked at her . "hey , did you hear any sound-" i was cut off by my sister "just sleep !" she shouted at me and went to sleep .

the strange thing was that , once my sister came inside , there was no humming nor any sound in the room . when i shifted uncomfortably and checked for the time - it was 12 in the midnight .

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this was not just yesterday , whenever i am sleeping alone in my bed , while my sister is using another room , many times while i pull my blanket on and just close my eyes for more than half an hour [[not sleeping] , there are times i felt my blanket being pulled away to my left side . or some hand touching my leg [mostly my right leg] over my blanket . or sometimes my hair which is the only thing outside after pulling my blanket on [ yes i cover my face and sleep like a cocoon] . sometimes i can feel that some hair strands of mine outside of my braid especially the smaller ones which reach upto my shoulders when released outside .

i actually thought that my hair comes out due to me trashing in bed . but recently i found that something was pulling out my front hairs when i was half asleep and half awake . i knew that day , my hair was rather braided too tightly and even had hair clips securing them . i just removed the hair clips and lied down . while my hair was fully oiled - no chance of pulling it out without making me shiver or feeling it . and it just came out . i could not believe it and did not dare open my eyes .

to be frank these things started happening when i was like 14 or something and i am 16 just yesterday . there are times i suddenly wake up at 1-3 for no real reason

at schools , i often heard some murmuring things and some bad smells [too rarely] . whenever i asked to my near person over this , they would say no and look at me like i am really weird .

and my mental pressure over my schools were no better . i was often criticized for being fat and too clumsy or too silent or always sleeping . i mean- am i at fault ? . i really could not bring it to tell it out , right when my insecurities are more . i technically looked too tired . not like anyone cared .

the one i trusted and said it out just said - "you are dramatic beyond a point , anyways - nice story , how about an another one?" . yep , thats where i actually lost faith in having friends . while i called them friends , i merely saw them as an acquaintance , or a toy whenever i wanted them to suffer .

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i found the courage to say it after 2 whole fucking years [today] to my mother and my sister who actually laughed at this and turned away .

my mental health is no better now , i really need help .

for my basic information ,

i am a girl , born on no moon day [amavasya] at 3 to 3:15 in the morning . in Hindu culture [ i am a Hindu , no hate for anyone ] . people say being born on amavasya is said to be a bad thing . they say people born in amavasya have a affinity towards ghosts

well i am lazy to explain this , i will just put this .

i - my smiling face is almost broken now and this took me three hours minus the time crying to actually put these things down . i am sensitive

i really want comfort , considering my offline classes which are starting from tomorrow .

thank you for understanding me .

-peerless2cucumber