AN :

       GRAB TISSUES #4 

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the empathy continues -

wei wuxian entered the room to see jiang li xiang sitting on the side of the bed holding her bedridden father jiang cheng's hand looking all defeated , her looks were almost too pitiful . while she shared almost same kind of looks with her father and her paternal grandmother who had the very same sharp look , her current expression did not fit her grandmother who was the violet spider . zidian on her hand cracked very low , almost invisible to wei wuxian . when her eyes met the intruder , she did not even move a bit , but her eyes told the respectful greetings , sadly . 

jiang cheng [ post war ] never thought his daughter would look like this . he personally felt her sadness , because he himself was in the very same situation like her , after loosing his entire family . 

yiling laozu had complicated feelings , he simply clutched hanguang jun's sleeves tightly making hanguang jun slightly lean his head over the younger male . a small smile crept on yiling laozu's face at the silent support . 

the two were unnoticed 

li xiang stood up looking at her father before retracting her hands from his own , she bowed and when she stood up from the bow after wei wuxian's very unnoticeable slight nod , her eyes held unshed tears brimming up to half of her beautiful violet - grey eye color which she inherited from her father . she quickly ran out hiding her face within her long wide sleeves .

everyone surely felt sympathetic towards her .  

when wei wuxian looked at the bed , he saw his brother , who was the former sect leader of the jiang clan lying down , all pale , cheeks sunken , hairs messy and all white , many wrinkles over his body , exhibiting old age at all possible directions . jiang cheng simply wore comfortable jiang inner robes and laid on the bed with closed eyes . he could be nearly mistaken for a dead man if he wasnt breathing at all . 

both jiang cheng looked at their oldest self , they surely never thought they would look so old than grandmaster lan at his age . 

both yanlis had tears brimming from their eyes and zixuan had to wipe them off . 

wei wuxian [gusu] seek comfort from lan wangji [gusu] and preferred to be silent . 

wei wuxian sat at the corner of the bed near jiang cheng's pillow and forced up a smile like he did in his younger days , but it really was too difficult after loosing his husband . he took in a breathe and said "a-cheng" . the bedridden man opened his eyes and looked at his brother and gave out a shaky , wavery and a very tired voice "a-xian" . jiang cheng lifted his hand a little and wei wuxian intervened it with his own hands giving out his own warmth . 

both pairs of yunmeng pride twins were silent . jiang cheng [gusu] looked at his own brother , he lived a healthy life while he was too old even when wei wuxian was 3 months older than him. how was it possible ? he wondered 

jiang cheng [post war] was secretly happy that his brother is there to support him as he used to and mended their relationship to the point they call each other lovingly . 

yiling laozu was not in a good shape , he wanted to go out and get some fresh air for a while , his hidden emotions are coming out of his heart , he then realized that his future self warned him not to be in a place where he could have a mental breakdown . 

wei wuxian [ gusu ] noticed his future self was not in a good self even if he is not showing on his face . well he is him in the future .

"a-xian " jiang cheng turned his head over wei wuxian's direction . "can i be in your arms for a while ?" it sounded desperate and wei wuxian obliged it . he gently held jiang cheng to his arms and let the younger lean his head on his firm shoulders . jiang cheng smiled softly at his old age giving out more wrinkles . 

"a-xian , thank you , thank you for everything you have done " it sounded like parting words and wei wuxian got tired of pulling out the painful smiling mask . he looked emotionless towards his brother . 

"a-cheng........" yanli [ post war ] glanced at her brother , who smiled at wei wuxian at the screen longingly 

"a-xian , whenever i got hurt , or any bleedings , it took care of me , just like you did . but now , it could not , can you take it back for yourself ?" jiang cheng asked silently placing his hand weakly over his golden core which was full in power . wei wuxian simply shook his head as no . "a-cheng , i gave it to you and i cannot receive it anymore . it was my own wish . let it be with you even if you are dead , in that way we can be together ." wei wuxian placed his hands over jiang cheng's hands . 

many were confused , but no one except yiling laozu knew the truth . 

"wei wuxian what do you mean by that?" jaing cheng [ gusu] asked wei wuxian who stayed quiet , it is not what he is thinking right?

"a-xian , i am sorry for everything , i wish....... i wish i was better in expressing my feelings around so that we could be together even for a lot of time ................... i-.........i wish i could stay like this forever in your arms too........ it may be selfish but.......... may i be your brother in my next life ? i promise i will be good to you " jiang cheng sounded the very same but wei wuxian knew that every single words meant from him . "mn" wei wuxian simply said and hugged his little brother and cradled a little . it brought back old memories as the two would hug and cradle each other after whenever they were punished or rather sick  . jiang cheng smiled once for last 

"i want a break right now " yiling laozu sounded stern and every one looked at him . wei wuxian nodded and stood up whispering 'i will be back in a while' to lan wangji and held his older self's hand and the two went out like it was the casual thing . 

both jiang cheng were obviously stunned at this action of the other two , who simply walked out . it looked like they never cared a little for their whole existence at all . 

jiang cheng's hand dropped with a plop on the bed and wei wuxian response was simply a tear from his left eye and then in a minute came the tear from the right eye . he slowly laid his little brother like a baby on the bed and simply wiped away his tears and walked out , he looked really tired . 

"w-wait t-that is too rude !" a shout came and since no wei wuxian were there , there was no response in return 

both jiang cheng teared up . both yanlis had to hug and console their little brother . 

wei wuxian walked aimlessly around the lotus pier , he looked so lost , when he finally stood , he stopped . because everything in his vision were water . he was standing in the docks . emotionless . everyone in the streets stared at him before continuing their works . "daijiu!" came a sound and wei wuxian turned around to see jin ling who was an adult having a jiang clarity bell on his waist . 

"i think that is the worst choice " jingyi said for some reason which confused everyone . 

"daijiu where is jiujiu-" jin ling who was in hurry was cut off by a smile of wei wuxian who said "a-ling , you grew up , want daijiu to buy you some tanghulu?" jin ling froze . he grabbed wei wuxian and shook him violently . 

everyone were too stunned at the sudden behavior . why would wei wuxian say things like that?

"daijiu......" jin ling stopped shaking the older male and looked at his fake smile , his eyes reflected nothing . jin ling took a breathe "daijiu , jiujiu is my father and my mother , he was my everything , m-may i know where is he ?" jin ling had a shaky voice at the end . wei wuxian's eyes focused for a second and faded away . jin ling was worried about his uncle .

"just what is wrong with him?" a huff came from a jin disciple . jin ling was crying in jingyi's arms soothed by sizhui on his back . 

jin ling grabbed his uncle's arm and dragged him all the way back to lotus pier and called a healer who simply stared at wei wuxian's cold eyes which stated nothing . after a small check over wei wuxian's pulse the healer confirmed there was nothing wrong with him at all . jin ling refused to believe it . and suddenly came a shout which was all grieving "F-FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!"

jin ling ran dragging wei wuxian's other arm . wei wuxian was like a doll in jin ling's hands except he used his legs . when jin ling reached the scene , he broke down in seconds leaving wei wuxian's arms who fell on his knees like a doll . wei wuxian was rather emotionless . 

"what is he a doll? damn , he looks beautiful , i wish to hang him on my hanger" a jin said and lan wangji glared at that person . 

"JIUJIU!!!!!" jin ling ran to grab his uncle but the healers stopped him from that . he held jiang li xiang in his arms knowing she needs the most support and as a good big brother , his instincts kicked in . li xiang cried against jin ling's chest and jin ling did his best to stay strong for her but miserably failing at it . 

"jin ling was it?" wen qing spoke and gained the attention of jin ling "you will be a good brother in the future" she said .  jin ling nodded with red nose .

meanwhile wei wuxian stared at the entire scene without any movement . 

"he really is a doll " many jins laughed 

it was time for cremation of jiang cheng . he was dressed in sect leader's clothes , hair tied up and was laid down on the boat of yunmeng and was pushed to a certain distance by the other boat men . jiang cheng's boat was in a lookable distance . as per the jiang tradition , it should be either li xiang or jin ling who had to shoot a arrow with fire to burn out the entire boat along with the person lying in it . but when the two held it , their hands shook like hell and the two refused to do it . 

the people thought for a second option and they realized wei wuxian exists . two disciples ran and held wei wuxian by his hands and dragged him to the docks and was given the bow . "daijiu , shoot over that boat please" jin ling sniffled and spoke . wei wuxian looked rather offended , but his expression turned normal , to the original expressionless face . 

wei wuxian took and loaded the burning arrow to the bow . and released it as such , the bow really went fast , in seconds it hit the boat and the entire boat ended up burning . wei wuxian wasnt called one of the best archers for nothing . but when jin ling saw the moment when wei wuxian loaded the arrow , his wide sleeves opened up all the way to his shoulders , jin ling's eyes widened . his hand prints were too red on wei wuxian's arms on both side . his arms rather looked too thin , just how was he able to put so much power with hands which looked rather bony?

a complete silence again . lan wangji blamed and hated himself more than anything , after he left , his wei ying never cared for himself at all . 

"can some one explain that too? how did he able to do something so easily while i took nearly an year to practice that?" a jin disciple spoke jealously , all the jins were gusu silenced once for all . all credits goes to hanguang jun who huffed like his uncle . 

wei wuxian never seemed to mind all the stares at him , he simply did what he was told . he turned away and his foot took him away aimlessly once again . when it stopped he knelt with a plop thud over the wooden floor . when he raised his head , it was then he realized he was in the ancestral hall of the jiang clan . in front of him were the tablets of the jiang family . his hands moved for the incense automatically and burned it and placed it in front of the altar . 

everyone knew something is wrong . wei wuxian was carefree , he would not move like a lan-no like a puppet like this . even the previous behavior , he looked like he had a mind to control himself , but not this time . 

he knelt there for an entire night , all silently . but his posture was perfect , no slumping at all , no shaking of legs aside from the natural twitches at times . his eyes looked all lost . he rather looked at the floor than the tablets . he did not knew that he missed his lunch and dinner all together . 

both yanlis were too sad , she remembered many times when her mother would make wei wuxian kneel for the entire night . wei wuxian often looked too pitiful those times

after skipping the breakfast fully kneeling down , wei wuxian suddenly had the power to talk , he looked at yu ziyuan's tablet and all he could say was "am i free? madam yu , tell me am i free now?"

what was he blabbering about ?

"madam yu , your purpose of taking me in was to find someone suitable as your son's protector and you chose me . you said you would make me strong but whipped me mercilessly every single time , it rather made me numb every time . i actually believed you and your words and followed your orders every single expecting nothing in return , but you never recognized me . tell me madam yu , this may sound too selfish but , how blind were you to notice that your husband rather loves you than my mother? . 

all you did was whip me again and again telling this would make me stronger . even when i stood to your expectations , you started comparing me to jiang cheng and made him hate me bit by bit . you said me to give up my own life protecting your two children , even when i never knew anything about life outside . i lost my purpose to live after having my golden core removed , but your voice haunted me to actually pick up a unorthodox path which would kill me slowly. you gave me scars which would never heal , even the discipline scare could fade away overtime . the first thing you taught me was , i was worth nothing .

 after failing my duties to protect your daughter , i chose to suicide so that your son would be safe . i broke my soul as to not reincarnate at all . when i was brought back , everything i saw from jiang cheng was all hatred for me , he whipped me at the very first sight , it brought back all the horrors i had with the zidian . those time were hell for me . everything i learnt was to find a suitable mask for myself 

i- i actually thought you were a good person until i got married to my husband . and then watching him throw away all the discipline paddles away after becoming the sect leader made me realize the truth - you always controlled me ever since i stepped into this place . i was your puppet . 

all my purpose were to make your children happy at the cost of my own life . now that jiang cheng is dead , i have no goals . i lost everyone in the lotus pier , my husband and his family, i can see myself breaking little by little . i had enough madam yu , AM I FREE from your clutches ? why was i abused for no reason ? JUST WHY? " tears fell down from wei wuxian's eyes .  well a dead person cannot answer anything . 

everyone were stunned , wei wuxian was abused ? his masks were too perfect to even put up a small scratch on it . the jiang siblings had the most shock, wei wuxian never really felt at home at pier at all . he was put into abuse . but he never told them anything at all ! 

'why would you lie to us ?' the jiang pair of siblings thought . 

wei wuxian stood up and walked out to see li xing sitting near a pond . he walked silently and sat next to her . "wei wuxian! lets go to gusu okay?" li xing drew the array of teleportation via celestial cultivation and the two were sitting in jingshi . wei wuxian fell on her lap after the wave of exhaustion passed over him . li xing was confused , but gently patted him to sleep before tucking him to the bed and walked away closing the doors . 

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AN : 

       SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE , I WENT OUTSIDE A BIT AND CAME HOME AT 8 IN THE NIGHT . 

FUN FACT :

              eh- NO THIS IS NOT FUN BUT I AM GETTING MY READERS TO KNOW ONE THING IN COMMON ABOUT WEI WUXIAN 

                     THIS AUTHOR IS OBSERVANT - I JUST REALIZED WHAT I FELT WHILE WRITING THIS PART IS THAT -

                    CANON WEI WUXIAN DOES NOT HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH HE HAD BEEN ABUSED AT ALL . HE IGNORES EVERYTHING THROWN AT HIM AND HE SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT HE ALWAYS OWES HIS ENITRE LIFE TO MADAM YU WHO WAS THE ABUSER , HE THINKS SAVING HIS LIFE MEANT HE OWES EVERYTHING AND DOESNT DARE SPEAK UP ABOUT HIS ABUSE . 

                    DURING THE LOTUS PIER DOWN FALL ARC , WHEN MADAM YU WHIPPED HIM MORE ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM FEEL EXTRAORDINARY PAIN , BUT HIS CONSTANT ABUSE THING - HE WAS ABLE TO MOVE AROUND . SHE WANTED WEI WUXIAN TO SACRIFICE HIS LIFE FOR JAING CHENG , AND WEI WUXIAN THOUGHT SHE CARED FOR HIM .........

I AM CRYING.............

LETS HAVE SOME STRESS RELIEVER- 

IT IS THE 3 ZUNS TIME! 

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