Song for the start of the chapter!

Darla H

"Nojo! Are you ready for this? First game of the season!" Dad cheered as he ran down the stairs.

I nodded with a smile, trying to wake myself up. I slipped on my shoes and tied them. "Couldn't be more excited," I yawned. "I think we'll kill it today. We have good game plans."

"They're called plays."

I smiled shyly. "Sorry."

"No big dealio champ. We all know how you are with football. I'm just glad you're trying though. Anyhow, we should get going before the players arrive."

I nodded as I grabbed my backpack with things that I thought I would need for the day.

"Paul, don't forget, I'll be in the stands cheering you on," Mom said as she kissed his cheek.

"I'll be using that as my source of strength today."

She smiled as the two embraced for a moment. "I know you will."

Dad checked his phone then raised his eyebrows. "Ok, we got to get going!"

I gave Mom a quick hug then quickly followed him out the door to the car.

I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants. My stomach was in knots ever since I woke up. I tried to convince myself that this game would be fine, but I never sat and watched a game, let alone had emotional stakes in it. This was more than a game, it felt more like a class and today was the test.

"Nojo, relax. This game is going to be just fine," Dad said as we drove to the Woody, breaking me out of my consuming worried thoughts.

"How do you handle the nerves?"

"I tell myself that worrying solves nothing."

"That's not helpful," I mutter in disappointment. I was expecting some glorious fix, but that was something anyone could have told me.

He shrugged. "Well, it works for me. That and a kiss from your mother. Those are the two things that normally help."

"Somehow I think a kiss from Mom will have little effect on me."

He chuckled. "You might have a point." With that, he parked as OSU buses pulled into the lot. "THa's how we are getting to the stadium."

"The OSU public busses?" I asked. I thought it would be a little grander than this.

Dad chuckled as he got out of the car. "My Gooley, we can't park over at the stadium. It's crazier than your uncle on the fourth over there."

I shook my head as the players walked out of the Woody with their gear.

He said hello to everyone then got onto the bus. I followed close behind, unable to be as relaxed as he was. He whistled a catchy tune as he swung his took a seat at the front. He was completely calm, unlike me who felt stiff and clammy.

I couldn't work up a sentence as players greeted us, stepping on the bus.

"Nerves?" Tad asked from behind.

I nodded in silence.

"It'll be fine. Promise," he said, tapping my shoulder as the bus moved forward.

We drove through campus as we have done so many times before. I had rode campus busses countless times, but this time left me breathless. Every second that ticketed by made me feel more uncomfortable. I didn't know what I was doing here. I didn't know a thing about what to do.

Finally we got to the stadium and already crowds of people dressed in scarlet and gray were waiting for us. Their cheers were heard through the bus, making my stomach lurch.

I shouldn't be here.

"Here we are," Dad said with a smile as he stood up and got off the bus.

The crowd was deafening as they pushed against the metal guard rails to get closer to us. Dad stopped and talked to a few fans and other players followed his lead. I just kept my head down and pushed forward until I made it into the stadium.

Within the massive stone walls of the Shoe shaped stadium, I heard faint music from outside. It was not as chaotic as it was outside. It allowed me to breathe.

I rested my back against the wall as players trickled in, passing me and walking down the hall, knowing where to go.

Finally Dad showed up with a smile. "Ready to rock this show?"

I nodded as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

I followed Dad through the halls as the noise outside continued, but all I could hear was my heart in my chest. It was sinking deeper in, this wasn't practice; this was an actual game, and it worried me that I didn't do enough to help.

My stomach was in knots. "I'm going to be sick," I said to Dad as I gagged.

Dad stopped and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Whoa Nora, are you sure you want to do this? You can go home."

I swallowed the lump in my throat with some difficulty then shook my head. I was just as much part of this team as Tad. I should be here no matter how nervous I felt. "No, I want to do this. This is the opening game."

"Ok," he said. "But if you change your mind for any reason at all, feel free to leave. You don't even have to tell me."

I nodded as I took deep breaths in, to clear my mind. I followed him into a room where all the assistant coaches were waiting for us. By now I knew all by name.

"Ok boys, here's what we've been waiting for," Dad said as he shut the door behind him.

"We already talked to the boys, and we think they're as ready as they can be," Tyler said as he pulled on his OSU polo that looked brand new.

As the men went into details about what to expect for the game, I sat down in the corner of the room. My eyes glanced at my polo and wondered if I should have worn something different, better.

My attention shifted when Dad brought up his concern for the mental state of team. He discussed ideas and topics of improvement including seeing the team sanctioned phycologist but the assistant coaches fell silent about it, forcing him to change to topic.

It felt as if only Dad and I were interested in the topic. The assistant coaches didn't care about the happiness of the players, they just wanted them to play well, happy or not. It was heartbreaking. The coaches viewed these boys as nothing more than chess pieces, but they were more than that. They had souls, and some of them were hurting.

Dad pulled out his phone and clapped his hands together. "Ok, men, it is show time. I think the kids are in the locker room waiting for us."

I stood up from my seat even though my legs felt like Jello. Why did everyone look so calm? This was the first game. It was big. This wasn't practice.

We walked into the locker room to see the players dressed in gear, waiting for us. The chatter quieted down as their attention was turned to us.

"Ok, first game of the season, we can do this," Dad said to the group that huddled around him. "Nora's going to give some words of encouragement."

My eyes widened as I took a step back, backing into one of the assistant coaches. I couldn't breathe as I looked around the room. Dad did not run this by me, and I wished he did. He knew what state I was in. There was nothing I could share with them when I couldn't even calm myself down.

Dad placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

I wanted to melt, but knew this wasn't the place to show such emotions. Knowing I couldn't stay quiet, I racked my mind with what to say. They needed actual words of wisdom, words I wouldn't be able to provide.

"Um... yeah, ok," I said as my voice cracked. I just had to pull myself together. "As most of you know, I'm not a football expert. But one thing that I know is you all have worked so hard. You guys want this... and... hell, this talk sucks.... In all honesty, Dad sprung this on me like a surprise party for a 50-year-old family member you don't care for. Have you ever experienced a surprise that you didn't see coming? I'm sure you have, but that's not the point." I stopped and pointed towards the door of the locker room. "That team out there, you have studied their plays, watched past games. You shouldn't be surprised by anything they throw your way. You're ready and I know you'll crush it."

My cheeks grew hot as the team cheered, somehow finding strength in the awkward speech.

"Yeah, I'll just echo was Nora said, you'll do great. Don't forget your training. You got this."

The team cheered again as they walked out the door and down hall to get to the field.

There was such an energy that was catchy. Even though my stomach was still in knots, a smile slowly appeared on my face as I followed the team.

"Nora, up here with me," Dad called out just before he walked out the double hinged doors to get onto the field.

I tried to stand up straighter as followed right beside him.

"Here we go," Dad said as he pushed the doors open to get onto the field with me right beside him.

My breath caught in my throat as I stopped to look around the stadium. It was full of people wearing scarlet and gray colors. The cheering was deafening. Most had already been here for hours, and they were ready for the game. These were the diehard fans we all knew. They were expecting us to deliver. They wanted us to provide a win. What if we weren't able to deliver that? What would they think of us then? That thought caused bile to come up from my stomach into my mouth.

Dad waved to the crowed as the players ran out onto the field causing the cheering to only grow.

I couldn't hear my own thoughts.

The team huddled around each other and shouted. Everett stood in the middle of the circle and said something inaudible against the sounds of my heart and cheers from the stadium.

"Ok, let's get this going," Dad said.

"Exciting isn't it?" Tad asked as he walked up to me.

I looked over at him and his uniform and frowned. Exciting wasn't the first word that came to mind.

"You look terrible, Nora, just breathe. These guys will do just fine," Tad said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded as I took a breath. Although it didn't help. I felt dizzy.

"Just think of this as another practice."

I nodded again as I sat down in the nearest seat. "But it isn't."

"But that's how most of these boys think of it," Tad said, then walked off to hand a player some water.

As the game started, I watched Dad pace the sidelines, talking to the assistant coaches and players. His full attention was on the game, not wanting to miss a bit of the action.

I stayed out of the way, but I couldn't help but feel out of place. In practice, I knew what to do, but here, I felt like I could mess everything up. And it didn't help that I still didn't understand the rules of the game.

"Look at that, Rick's setting up for the breakaway play," Tad said, pointing to Everett as he got the ball.

This was one play that I had seen the team practice too many times before. I knew exactly how it should go. I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands as Rick threw the ball. Everett caught it but then got tackled to the ground, hard enough that his helmet fell off.

My stomach flew into my throat as the crowd gasped and booed. I had seen Everett get tackled before, but this time, he didn't get up quickly. He stayed down which made me breathless.

The team watched as he pushed himself up from the ground then limped to get his helmet. But that didn't stop the crowd from cheering. Everett raised his hands with a smile as if gaining some kind of energy from the noise.

"Everett's good at popping up when he's down," Dad said as if I cared.

I nodded as I tried to look unaffected by the tackle. "Good to hear."

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As half time came, we led the score board and everyone knew we would win. There was more excitement as the crowd cheered louder.

Through the band and cheering crowd, the team huddled around Dad as he talked about what the closing plans for the match were. I squeezed in beside him, hoping to hear over the noise, but only heard bits and pieces.

"Nora, do you have anything to tell the team?" Dad asked finally.

A lump came to my throat as I looked around at the sweaty dirty players. I held back a frown, feeling as useless as ever. Maybe I should actually pay attention to the rules if Dad was going to drag me into it. "You guys are doing great. I have nothing to say."

"You heard it here. Nora thinks you're doing great," Dad said as the buzzer went off, telling them their time was up. "Now get out there and kick their butts."

The team cheered, then went back onto the field to start the next part of the game.

As the game started again, Dad smiled at me but it didn't make me feel any better. Even though my nerves were gone, "I feel out of place".

"You aren't! Don't you think that. I need you here," Dad said then pointed towards Tad. "And Tad needs you too."

"Sure do!" Tad said as he handed a player a towel.

I frowned, wishing that was the case, but I helped little during this game. I may have been of use during practice, but during a game, I just sat around feeling confused. I realized that I either needed to learn the sport better or stop going to the games because at this point, I was just taking up space.

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Long after the game was over, I waited in the hall for Dad to get out of his meeting with some board members and the assistant coaches. He said the meeting would be short, but I had already been waiting an hour and now I wished I went home with mom.

"Hey Nora," Everett said as he approached with a smile.

I put my phone in my pocket eyed him. I didn't understand why he was still here when everyone else was partying after the major win.

"Your speech, that was..."

I winced at the thought of it. "I know, rough."

He shook his head as he picked up his bag of gear. "I was going to say the opposite. It had so much personality. I liked it."

I chuckled, then tossed what I had in my pocket in the trash beside me.

I thought about what Dad told me about him the day before. I wanted to bring it up, but I didn't know how to. Everett was like a bomb, ready to blow up into a million pieces as soon as he was tripped. I didn't want to be the one that tripped the live wire. "We really need to break this habit of talking in the lonely halls."

He stood silent. "Look, I was wondering, I have this yoga class I got invited to teach tomorrow. Would you like to come?"

I shrugged even though it shocked me that he was extending an invitation. The thing was, he just played an intense game of football and a slight limp from the tackle but yet he was teaching a class tomorrow? It sounded too ridiculous to pass up. "Sure, why not?"

"Cool. I'll text you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Do you even have my number?"

He smiled as he walked away. "I'll talk to you later, Nora."

As he vanished down the hallway, Tad walked up with a grin on his face. "So you're awfully friendly with Everett."

That's not how I would describe it. "I guess. Why are you here anyhow?"

"Celebratory make-out session, of course."

I smiled at him, wondering who stuck around for that. "Was it worth it?"

"1000%," he said as he smoothed out his messy dark hair.

"Hey Tad!" Dad said as he walked up to us.

Tad smiled. "Hey. Great game, right?"

Dad nodded. "It was a good one." He turned to me. "Ready to get out of here, Nojo?"

I stood up from my chair, wanting nothing more. "Sure. I'll see you later Tad."

"See you around."

As we walked, I saw tiredness in his eyes. He looked more drained than he should for a winning game. I knew that he probably didn't want to talk about it but the silence chewed away at me. I bit my tongue, hoping it would help and with a heavy sigh, I told myself, I would ask him later.