Chapter Eighteen (Zaid's POV)

Two days, I told myself as I stood under the hot water of a morning shower.

Two more days until I turned eighteen. I'll become an alpha, just hours after doing the mating ritual, which was going to put a ton of stress on my body. As if I needed it, I thought miserably, looking down at myself. I ran my fingertips over my stomach, wincing. It was still flat, but any day now it was going to swell and just thinking about it made me sick.

I looked up at the water as it sprayed down on me, soaking me and despite the heat, I felt somehow cold, hollow.

How could women deal with this? The aching, the nausea?

Then again, they're the ones who are supposed to be pregnant.

Not me.

Not a guy.

I groaned at my thoughts, reaching out and shutting off the water. I stepped out, wrapping a plush blue towel around my shoulders, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

I had to stop thinking so negatively. Holly told me it would just get worse the more I sat around all miserably. I needed distraction, I decided as I drifted out of the bathroom, opening my wardrobe.

A trip to town, I thought as I dropped the towel, taking out a pair of black jeans. I could go into town and grab supplies, making stop for a snack at the Mockingbird. It'd be the perfect distraction. Away from my judging pack and away from the pain. It's not like my pack hated me for it. They knew it wasn't my fault, but I knew the idea that I was different and strange now held them back from talking to me.

I found myself not caring. They needed to wrap their minds around it. Hell, I needed to wrap my mind around this.

I pulled a black v-neck over my head, grabbing my leather jacket and tugging my boots on before I headed out the door, down the stairs to the kitchen to grab the keys to the bike off the hook. I walked in to the hot smell of roast beef, my stomach growling viciously in response.

"Someone sounds hungry." I blinked, looking up to see Scythe coming in the back door, wearing a black jean jacket to match his pants and gray t-shirt.

"Actually, I was just going to go into town to grab some supplies and lunch... That's for dinner, right?" I asked. Scythe nodded, closing the door behind him and glancing at me.

"You're going into town? If you're hungry, I can just make you a snack-"

"What am I? Five? I'll be fine. I could use the fresh air. I've been inside for far too long. I haven't been on my bike lately either."

"Because it's dangerous?"

"I'm a werewolf."

"That's also dangerous."

"Exactly," I replied shortly, because I could honestly sense where this conversation was going and the last thing I wanted to do was argue with Scythe now of all times, "It's just going to be a quick trip and I'll be right back after."

"I'll go with you-"

"Scythe, stop," I protested, trying not to let the anger in my voice seep out, "I'm fine. Seriously. Stop treating me like a woman, because I'm not. I'm a man and I can take care of myself."

"What if Jack-"

"Jack won't attack me in town."

"Kyler says-"

"Kyler also says you're a crotch-sniffer. Was he telling the truth then?"

"He did? That son of a bitch." Scythe cursed, looking irritated as he glanced out the window. I sighed, then walked over, placing my hands on either side of Scythe's face, turning him to face me. His dark eyes bore into mine, his expression softening as I smiled.

"I'm fine. Stay here and keep an eye on things until I come back, until the rest of the pack comes back from hunting. Make sure Kyler stays out of trouble too." I said gently. Scythe studied my face, eyes searching, before he reached up to place a hand over one of mine. He closed his eyes in bliss, turning his head to kiss each of my fingertips.

I felt a shiver race through me as he clamped his lips around the tip of my index finger, his tongue coiling out and licking my finger. I held my breath as he sucked for a moment, then pulled me against him.

"I haven't had sex with you in two days. I feel neglected." Scythe pouted, his hands trailing down to my lower back. I almost melted in his arms when I realized he was distracting me. I scowled.

"I'm still going to neglect you. I have things to do."

"Aw, come on, Zaid-"

"I'm not kidding, Scythe. Stop trying to keep me locked up. I'm not a domesticated animal."

"Ugh." Scythe let go of me, looking rather fed up, but in all honesty, I think he was just mad that I had refused him sex. I was sort of pissed at myself too, but stood my guard as I bid him farewell, snatching the bike keys off the hooks near the door before heading out to the barn.

I paused as I steadied the bike to get on, hearing a faint moan. I frowned, listening carefully when I recognized the voice as Alek's. I rolled my eyes, shoving the bike back and heading to the back of the barn, scanning around until I saw Kylan pinning Alek to the barn. I felt my face catch fire, watching Kylan bury his hand in Alek's pants. Alek was moaning, his tongue poking out past his lips as he slid along the barn, his legs trembling.

I ducked back, shifting uncomfortably. I hated walking in on these things, but I wasn't about to leave without giving them an earfull... Of course, I couldn't just barge in right at this very second. Alek seemed to be enjoying himself, despite his constant claims that he hated homosexuals.

The hypocrite.

"Uh! Haah, ohhh, K-Kylan, please..." Alek whimpered, his nails clawing into the barn walls. Kylan stroked him faster, his eyes watching Alek intently as he leaned in, licking at Alek's tongue before sucking on it.

"Kylan!" Alek gasped, his body shuddering in release, his nails digging holes into the wood as he almost lost his balance, but Kylan caught him around the waist, steadying him. Alek panted, staring up into Kylan's face and the look on Kylan's face told me he was going further, but I stepped out, clearing my throat loudly. Alek's eyes widened and he immediately shoved Kylan back, almost knocking him over yet again.

Alek fumbled to do his pants, whirling around to glare at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He demanded angrily. I scowled.

"Wondering why you're cheating on Thalia. Does she know about you and Kylan?" I demanded. Alek winced. Kylan stepped between Alek and I, holding up his hands in defense.

"It's not his fault, Zaid. It's mine. I forced Alek." He answered softly. I blinked, then frowned as I watched Alek stare at him in disbelief.

"That didn't look forced to me. It looked like another round of sex to me. This is the second time I've caught you two. What would Thalia say, Alek? Huh? You had two pups together. What would they say? And, Kylan, think about what that would do to Thalia. She's your sister." I scolded. Kylan looked at the ground, ashamed. Alek looked pained.

"I'm sorry, but this needs to stop." I said at last.

"It's not fair," Kylan spoke up suddenly, surprising me as he was usually the softspoken one of his siblings, "I already told Thalia how I felt about Alek, before they got married, and she went and married him anyway. She's never respected my opinion on anything, so why I should respect her at all?"

"You never told me you liked me." Alek managed.

"You don't think I touched you just to get off, do you?"

"Uhn..."

"Well, I didn't. I love you, Alek."

"And Thalia loves Alek also." I put in. Kylan looked torn, like he wanted to keep arguing, but it was never Kylan's strong point to argue. He looked at the floor in defeat, then brushed past me out of the barn, shutting the door rudely behind him. I looked at Alek, who was turning red with embarrassment.

"Don't tell Thalia about this. I didn't want it to get as far as it did."

"I thought you weren't interested in men anyway." I pointed out. Alek groaned.

"Don't say it like that, it makes me feel weird... I just... Kylan's different. I don't know. It won't happen again, though."

"Are you just saying that in hopes that you won't get caught up again or are you serious?" I asked, watching Alek's expression twist up in pain. I hadn't meant to hurt him, but it was wrong for him to sneak around behind Thalia's back.

"Alek, think about Thalia." I stated. Alek bit into his lip, then nodded and walked out of the barn. I watched him leave, then sighed and went back to my bike to find Kyler leaning on it, staring up at the sky until he saw me with a wicked grin.

"Greeting, soon-to-be-mommy. Did you ground the cheating couple?" He asked. I glared at him.

"I can't tell if you're making fun of me or them. It's none of your business, Kyler." I didn't hate Kyler, but something about the way he spoke so crudely made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Of course, Kyler was either oblivious or didn't care because he went on as if I hadn't spoken.

"They've been sneaking out here to do that the past three or four days."

"Were you watching?"

"How could I not? Free porn? Oh boy," He drawled, then shuddered, "Never. You wolves are disgusting with your drool and big, uh, assets. I came out here to join you on your trp to town." I frowned, picking up my helmet, then stopped when it hit me why he was here. I scowled.

"Scythe sent you, didn't he? When did you two get so buddy-buddy?" I demanded, tucking the helmet under my arm. Kyler blinked, then his expression twisted up into a childish look of disgust.

"Ew, gross. Me friends with him? That's like Madonna and Hugh Hefner."

"And which one are you?"

"Not sure. And no, your mate didn't send me. I came because I'm bored and tired of hanging out with a bunch of crotch-sniffers," He paused when he saw me cock a brow, "Oh, not that you aren't a crotch-sniffer too, it's just that you're more tolerable." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, but get your own bike and helmet. My father's Yamaha  is just over there. Hurry up." I ordered, watching Kyler's face brighten as he strode over to my father's bike, hopping on and jerking the helmet onto his head. I cast him a weary look before I revved the engine, shooting down the driveway as I hit play on the speakers in my helmet.

You Really Got Me by the Kinks blasted into my ears as I rode down the driveway and into town, Kyler beside me the whole way as we sailed into the Wagner's parking lot. We parked the bikes and got off, placing our helmets down and heading inside.

"This place reeks like humans- Oh." He stopped mid-sentence as the cashier girl waved at me. I waved back, then grabbed Kyler's arm, leading him down an aisle.

"Don't be rude." I scolded him as I grabbed a basket from a nearby rack, grabbing a few packages of snacks. Kyler merely snorted, but stuck to my side as he scanned the store suspiciously. Every so often he'd sniff the air, then shake his head.

"What?" I asked when I finally got fed up with this suspicious behavior. Kyler frowned.

"I smell something familiar. I keep telling myself it's you, but it's not a wolf scent."

"There's a stray cat that likes to run around here."

"Not that kind of smell, mutt. I'm talking... dangerous."

"It's a Wagner's. The most dangerous thing here is the meat." I retorted, heading down another aisle to grab pop tarts. My stomach ached at the sight of them, but instead of getting the taste of sweetness on my tongue, I suddenly had the urge for mayo. I made a U-turn, making Kyler groan in exasperation, before I grabbed a small tub of it.

"Strange cravings already?" Kyler asked. I frowned.

"It's not a strange craving... I just suddenly felt like mayo."

"Yea, well, something smells like mayo. What is that god awful smell? It's familiar, but I can't place it." Kyler muttered, bringing his arm over his nose. I rolled my eyes, but at the same time, I was beginning to pick up on the scent myself. I glanced around quickly before I went to the register. I couldn't take the uncomfortable sensation that someone was watching us.

I paid for the things, ignoring the way the cashier girl gazed at Kyler almost dreamily.

"Are you, like, a European super model or something?" She asked. Kyler looked at her, confused.

"Uh, you could say that?"

"I knew it! I could tell just by looking at you. The way you dress and... Uh, if you don't mind me saying so, you're drop dead gorgeous." She added cheerily. Kyler blushed.

"Uh, thanks."

"You're welcome! Say, you're not gay too, are you? Because-"

"Okay," I drawled aloud, making her scowl, "I think we're done here. Goodbye."

"Oh, fine. Be that way, Zaid. Bye-bye, you two!" She waved, sighing blissfully as Kyler just nodded his head and rushed after me as we walked out, heading to our bikes.

"She's weird." Kyler said, scrunching up his nose in distaste as he approached his bike, lifting the helmet up. I raised an eyebrow, reaching for my helmet as well.

"She was flirting with you, but you obviously aren't interested? Are you gay?"

"I don't label myself. Honestly, I'm not interested in anyone. I don't trust anyone. I don't do anything for anyone else." Kyler explained, sounding surprisingly cheery about it. I just sighed and pulled my helmet on, then watched Kyler smirk.

"Actually, there is someone I love," He declared, then winked at me, "Me, myself, and I." He jerked his helmet on as I rolled my eyes. I led the way to the Mockingbird where the sudden scent of rot filled the air and I shuddered as I pulled my helmet off to see Kyler bleching.

"Okay, this place smells like death. How could you eat here?" He asked in disgust. I slid off the bike, setting my helmet down.

"It shouldn't smell like this. Do you have any other cat brethren I should know about?" I asked. Kyler looked offended.

"We don't smell like cur."

"Well, we certainly don't smell like dead fish and rotten eggs." I returned dryly. Kyler looked skeptical, but suspicious as he glanced over his shoulder, eyes scanning the woods that surrounded our town before he shrugged, gesturing for me to lead the way. I obeyed, walking into the grille where the heavy scent of alcohol, smoke, and fries filled the air.

Kyler and I breathed a sigh of relief at the less tainted smell as a waitress met with us, taking us to a booth near the arcade where a group of bikers and a couple of tourists were hanging out. We ordered our drinks and food, my stomach growling angrily the whole time. I clasped a hand over it, grimacing.

"I hope you know you'll be feeling that for quite a while." Kyler pointed out, taking a sip of his Sprite. I frowned, looking up.

"What'd you mean?" I asked. Kyler nibbled on his fish stick for a second, then set it down with a sigh, glancing out the corner of his eye.

"All the food you eat. It goes to keeping your pups alive. Meanwhile, you starve."

"That's unfair!"

"You could do what the humans do when they don't want children," Kyler said with a shrug, "Abortion doesn't cost much these days." I glared at him.

"It's illegal, idiot."

"Holy shit, what year is this? The last time I was out, abortion was all the rage."

"Haha, funny," I snorted sarcastically, then shook my head, "No. I can't do that. Every time I talk about it with Scythe, I can tell he wants them. And honestly, so do I... I just don't want to die before I can see them grow up." I suddenly felt depressed again. I thought this was why I was out of the house, so I didn't have to discuss this.

"I was just throwing it out there as an option. Look, if it makes you feel better, I've watched other wolves go through what you're going through."

"Yea?"

"Sure. They were just far calmer about it since they already knew what was happening. It was what Jack was doing to them that drove them insane." Kyler added with a shrug. I groaned, burying my face in my hands as Kyler scarfed his fish sticks down. I hesitantly picked at the two meals I ordered, but finally caved in and devoured them all, still hungry in the end, so I placed another order of fries.

"They all died?" I asked Kyler at last. Kyler blinked, dipping one of his fries in his chocolate milkshake before taking a bite, averting his eyes.

"Yes. And as much as I hate wolves, no one should deserve to die like that. They just lived in Jack's captivity until they were due and Jack strapped them to a table and did the operations right there in front of everyone. He said he was trying to teach us, but I honestly think he just did it for shits and giggles.... It really sucks to watch someone give life, only to have theirs taken away before they even have a chance to see what they'd brought into the world. The worst part is, half the pups that were born in Jack's care died before they even reached puberty. Some of them died right on the spot."

"But," Kyler went on quickly when he saw my pained expression, "Your mate cares too much about you to let that happen, trust me. He and I spoke and I know for a fact that he'd die before ever letting you get hurt. You and your pups."

I was surprised. He seemed to actually try and comfort me about this. Maybe Kyler wasn't as bad as I thought he was.

"Thank you." I said quietly, watching Kyler blush and shift uncomfortably.

"Don't mention it." He answered. We were quiet for a while, mostly picking at our food and awkwardly drinking out of our glasses that were already empty, so the only sounds were the obnoxious slurping noises.

Then the scent hit us.

Kyler's silver eyes flashed as he snapped his head to search the bar. The sickening scent burned my nostrils as I searched for the source of it. I honestly had no clue what I was looking for, but Kyler seemed to.

"What is it?" I asked. Kyler grimaced.

"Jack's lackey. I know that smell anywhere."

"Wait, his lackey? Does that mean-"

"I don't know. Jack usually sends someone in to investigate a place before he himself comes. I have no doubt who he's sent. We need to go. Right now." Kyler commanded. I didn't question him, after all, he seemed to know the way Jack worked like the back of his hand. We paid the bill, beelining through the crowd for the exit when my stomach lurged, my legs wobbling.

"Oh no." I managed, clasping a hand over my mouth as I felt the burning sensation rising from my stomach to my throat. Kyler whirled around and winced.

"Shit, shit." He cursed, looking around quickly before he rushed to steady me, leading me to the bathroom. We stumbled in, almost smacking a guy in the face with the door before I managed to get to the final stall in time to vomit everything I had just eaten.

My body trembled as I gasped between heaves, then choked up another round as Kyler stood behind me, grimacing and tapping his foot nervously.

"I'm sorry." I managed, struggling to stand up as I finished. Kyler shook his head.

"It's not your fault. Come on, we need to hurry." He urged, tugging on my arm gently. I nodded, staggering after him as we made for the exit. We walked out into the cool evening air, the sun dipping so low that there was only an eerie orange purple glow to the blue and black sky above. Stars scattered the velvety sky and a semi-round moon hung high in the sky as a reminder of what was to come soon.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Kyler Mercy."

The voice made Kyler go stiff. I froze as well as the wave of stench hit me heavily, almost causing me to puke again, only this time, I was too alarmed, too afraid to. The scent was heavy with evil and danger. I whirled around at the same time Kyler did.

A tall, muscular man stood at the top of the back steps. His muscles bulged through his black tank top, his black leather pants hugging his legs tightly so the muscles in his legs were clear. Celtic tattoo designs raced around his biceps and wrists. I spotted one poking out from under his tank top. His hair was jet black, not a strand of brown to be seen. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of black wraparound shades, until he reached up to take them off, revealing a pair of deep blue eyes.

"Who are you?" I demanded. The man smirked as Kyler took a step back, closer to me as he ground his teeth together.

"Name's Ash. See, Jack told me that someone had killed my cousin, so I just had to jump on Jack's offer to recon this place. And who do I find here, consorting with the target? Kyler Mercy. How cute, you made friends with a wolf." He mocked, folding his arms over his chest. I took a step back. This guy was huge. He could easily smash my head as well as Kyler's, probably at the same time with no effort.

"You stink." Kyler spat. Ash laughed.

"You like it? It's some expensive European stuff and I know how you weres love the smell of cologne." He mused. I grimaced, tensing my muscles and ready to fight him off, but Ash seemed to notice immediately, his eyes snapping to me.

"I wouldn't attack me if I were you," Ash mused, "It'll be the last mistake you ever make and allow me to inform you that just because you're carrying puppies, doesn't mean I still won't kill you and them." I froze, feeling cold at his threat. He couldn't possibly be human. What was this man?

"Fuck off," Kyler seethed, "It's a reacon mission, not a death threat mission. You were given orders not to attack, am I right?"

"So long as I'm not attacked first, but I could easily tell Jacky boy that his pregnant mate attacked me first." Ash replied.

"He's not my mate." I spat. Ash smirked.

"Oh, well, aren't you fiesty? First Kyler, now you. This just makes my job so much more fun." He mused. Kyler glared at him, then put a hand on my chest.

"Get on your bike and go home, Zaid." He commanded. My eyes widened as I snapped my head to stare at him in disbelief.

"I can't leave you here by yourself with this- Well, whatever he is!" I exclaimed. Kyler glared at me.

"You can and you will. I'll be back in an hour or so. Don't wait up." He ordered.

"Kyler-"

"I said get your ass on the bike, you fucking cur!" Kyler barked. I jumped, looking quickly from Ash to Kyler. I didn't want to leave Kyler behind. I didn't care what he said. I didn't trust this Ash guy at all and two seconds later, he proved me right.

One second, he was on the steps to the back door. The next, he was behind me with a knife drawn and held to my belly. I froze as he touched the blade to my bare skin, his other hand lifting my shirt.

"You're not that far along, are you? The other wolves were bigger. Bellies all the way out to here," He gestured with a smirk, his hot breath on my ear, making goose bumps rise on my skin as he traced the silver blade around my belly button.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll just submit to what Jack says. You have more of a chance of living in his care than you do with your mutt mate and this pussy over here." He nudged his head toward Kyler, who was stiff and staring at us.

"What're you talking about?" I demanded, refusing to show fear. I'd already done enough to embarrass myself and as much as I feared for the pups, I wasn't going to back down. Ash noticed and smirked, dragging the blade to the waistband of my jeans, then up along my chest as he hiked my shirt higher. I held my breath as he ran the tip of the blade very lightly around my nipple, making my skin crawl.

"Kyler hasn't told you? Oh, he's always been a naughty kitty. That's why Jack gave him such special treatment. Did he tell you about the suit? What about the bit gag? Even better, the-"

"Stop," Kyler snarled hatefully, catching me off guard with the venom in his voice, "Shut your mouth, you worthless son of a bitch. Stop playing with him. You may not care for the cur and his pups, but Jack does and if you hurt them, Jack will hang you by your balls."

"You would know." Ash threw back. Kyler hissed at him, baring his sharp fangs threateningly. Ash laughed, then slowly let go of me. I tore my shirt back down to hide my stomach, hugging myself and freezing immediately after as Ash ran the tip of the blade along my back. My hackles rose and I whirled to shove him away, but he caught me by the throat.

I choked, wincing as his fingers dug into my throat. Ash cocked his head as I glared at him, gritting my teeth before I tried to suck in some air.

"I can't tell who's better. You or Kyler. Guess we'll find out when Jack gets here, huh?" He mocked, then let go of me, letting me gasp for air. He glanced at me playfully, then gave Kyler a wicked stare that made the leopard growl low in his throat.

Without another word, Ash sauntered past us, flipping his knife shut and tucking it into the waistband of his jeans before he vanished into the Mockingbird. As soon as he was gone, Kyler was at my side, checking my throat, then moving to lift my shirt, but I refused.

"Stop, I'm fine," I snapped, watching Kyler sigh with relief, "What about you? What the hell was he talking about?" Kyler's expression changed. Everything about him earlier that had been even slightly concerned or compassionate vanished. It was like an off switch and his face turned stoic.

"Nothing. Let's get you back home before he decides to come back." He commanded. This time, I didn't argue as we got on our bikes and headed back home in silence.

The whole way, my mind was whirling.

How near was Jack? When was he coming?

And who was Ash? What was his relationship to Kyler?

And what was so awful that it seemed to shut Kyler down completely?

I had a feeling that this was just the beginning of a really, really bad two months.