Miesha

Entering the pack hall felt like I'd just been knocked over in a giant flood. It had been such a long time since I'd shared the company of so many... the noise... the light... each laugh, each breath seemed magnified and sent my ears ringing in distress. I felt myself zone out, everything paling into the distance as if I were suspended in time.

Panic attack.

I was in sensory overload. Verging on a downward spiral, my chest constricted with each breath. The quickening thudding in my chest sent my blood pulsing like an electric current, my whole body felt wired and contorted. If I'd been in my wolf form, my shackles would well and truly be up.

"Remember what I said outside, Miesha." His voice was soothing in my ear, a softness wrapped in strength.

As much as I felt the complete opposite, I held myself with confidence as we walked around the room together side by side. There were no hushed whispers. No awkward gazes. Just a pack who were enjoying each other's company. I took my time taking the scene in, Gabriel remaining silent as I perused the room.

Timber tables... fairy lights... It felt rugged and rustic. A large fireplace glowing at the hearth of the room reminded me of my own home as I watched the symmetry of shadows flicker from the embers.

My moment of reminiscing halted as we neared James and his mate, who were both enraptured by the child in his arms. Holding onto his daughter who was nestled in the crook of his elbow, I could see what a loving father he was.

Surprise and curiosity provided a welcome distraction to my homesickness, "Oh, so this is the wee one I hear so much about?!"

James' face lit up as he turned to us, "Muhammad Ali! I am so glad you could join us! Please, this is my mate Clara," and bopping his finger on her button nose, "And this one... this is our daughter Abigail."

Leaning forward, I embraced Clara, kissing her cheek to cheek, "Nice to meet you Clara, I have heard so much about you."

"Likewise Miesha, James tells me you are shaping up to be one of the strongest warriors we have had here at Cross Rivers..."

"You never know, I might end up showing your Alpha here how it's done..." I winked, nudging Gabriel playfully as he held his hands up in mock surrender.

"Oh that reminds me Clara, I made Abigail something small... It's nothing special, but it is a tradition from my pack. I hope you like it. I chose yellow, it represents..."

As I gently lifted the crocheted bonnet from my purse, Clara finished my sentence, "Abundance, courage and self-confidence. It is beautiful... I will treasure it always. Thank you."

We left James and Clara to share their moment with others, as we continued to roam around the room. Spotting Neve by the bar, I walked over as Gabriel was pulled into conversation with another male. Seeing me coming over, she smirked as she took another swig from her glass, "Want one?"

"No thanks, but thank you." I felt terrible. It had been too long between seeing her that I realized just how much I missed her company.

Pulling up a stool beside her I smiled, "Listen, I didn't really get a chance to say thank you for everything you have done since I've come here."

"Don't sweat it. It was good times... You've given our pack a renewed strength, we can all feel it."

There wasn't a trace of doubt in her words, but I still struggled to believe her. Letting out an awkward chuckle, relief washed over me as I saw Adrienne coming over to join us.

"Miesha, you are looking beautiful as always..."

I stepped forward, my arms reaching out to her in a warm embrace. "How are you? Are you here with your mate, I've yet to meet them... Pray, tell..."

"Actually, you have... She is right beside you..."

Adrienne gestured to Neve, smiling brightly as she planted a tender kiss on her lips. Taking the glass from her mate, she took a sip before nestling in beside her and resting her head on her shoulder. Neve looked down lovingly on Adrienne as they both hummed along to the beat of their bond.

"No shit! How did I not pick up on that?!"

Brushing off my flippant remark, they both giggled as Neve continued to stroke Adrienne's thigh before asking, "Speaking of which, how are things with your mate?"

Feeling a little off guard, I took the time to come up with the right words. "Slow and steady... It's complicated but all good things take time."

Sensing that I was uncomfortable, Adrienne offered some words of reassurance, "Absolutely. There is no need to rush these things, but I will say, you look awfully cute together tonight."

I returned the favor, "As do you both". I smiled warmly before a distinct scent caught my attention. Turning to see where it came from, I noticed a statuesque woman chatting with a group of others.

"Who is she?" I asked to neither specifically. I kept my sight on her, agitation rising within me as I continued to study her. Her form. Her movements. Her laugh. And then she turned, catching my voyeurism red handed.

I could always trust Neve to drop it like a tonne of bricks, "That would be Eliza... "

"And........?"

"And.... you have nothing to worry about. She is old news."

Jesus Christ.

Scrunching my nose, I couldn't hide my displeasure. What took me by surprise was the fact that I'd not even considered that Gabriel would have had lovers in the past. Was it even my business? Did I have a right to be jealous? I think I was more pissed that he hadn't warned me before hand so I wouldn't feel so unprepared if it came up. I couldn't stop visualizing him kissing her lips, him grabbing her ass, him plunging into her...

Fuck.

"I can sense you're right Neve, but it doesn't make it any easier." I paused before continuing my observation, "She is beautiful."

I almost jumped at Gabriel whispering in my ear from behind me, "She... is not you."

I felt his chest against my back as he draped his arms around me before Neve and Adrienne took to the floor for a dance.

"Care to join them?"

"Please. You have two left feet Gabriel, you can't even walk over a rug without going ass over."

"Precisely. I'm prepared to look a fool for you."

He held my hand as he led me under the lights, pulling my body into his. Sparks erupted as his hand traced my hip, molding my softness to his form. Moving to the rhythm of the music, the heat of his chest engulfed me as I let him take control momentarily. But despite the pleasure, I couldn't help the spite from slipping out... "Any more secrets I should know about?"

Unfaltering in his movements and his words, he let out a slight chuckle, "Stop overthinking Miesha. You have your past. I have mine. We... have our future."

I hated not having the last word but I decided to let it rest and enjoy the moment. Although annoyed that I hadn't been warned, I also knew that we'd only just shared one kiss. He didn't owe me an explanation or a running commentary on his sexual history. And, realizing the opposite was also true, he wasn't expecting that of me either. In a way, it was a sense of liberation. To know that I also wouldn't be judged for my own past.

Letting the magic of each sway and step wash through me, I felt relieved he wouldn't hold my history with his twin brother against me. It was the first time in years that a trace of absolution stirred within me, knowing that I too, could learn to let go and begin anew.

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