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Forty

1st Person POV

I left the room the second I heard him pick up. Theo snickered at that and I heard Maia whack the back of his head in response. I drowned out the bickering that soon followed as I entered my room and shut the door.

"Catherine? Are you okay? Is something wrong," Azriel asked.

I sunk to the floor. My voice was refusing to work. I clutched on to the phone as I desperately tried to make some kind of noise.

"Sweetheart you're scaring me," he whispered.

That finally had my brain rebooting and I replied in a shaky voice.

"Annabelle, Annabelle came by. She has information about the operation that she thinks can end them for good. I need to see all of you. I mean, we need to meet to discuss what to do next," I explained.

He was silent for a second and I waited with bated breath. Maybe he'd moved on with his life. Maybe I was ruining everything by calling him again, forcing him to break the law.

"You don't have to say yes," I whispered.

But I did need him to though.

"Of course I'm saying yes. Whatever you ask of me, the answer will always be yes. I was just processing all you'd said," he said firmly.

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. Another minute passed before he finally replied. He sounded so calm and collected that it instantly put my own nerves at bay over all of this.

I was breaking laws, the consequences of which I should be afraid of but wasn't. I was nervous that I was getting him into trouble but breaking the law didn't scare me. I'd seen so much worse. Hell, I'd already been to jail anyway.

"I'll send you an address. We'll all meet there. It's a safe place. I'll contact Cassius and Desmond as well," he said.

My phone pinged indicating a text had been received. He was about to cut the call. That had the words bubbling out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Azriel."

He remained silent but I heard his breathing, a bit labored like he'd been holding it back all this time.

"I missed you," I said softly.

A beat later, his hushed voice replied.

"I missed you too."



By safe place, I hadn't really thought that Azriel meant his own home. Theo had reached out to Annabelle, and she'd agreed to come with us. The five of us had taken three different buses to get near the place, followed by a short walk.

Theo complained bitterly about the exercise but I knew it was just so he could distract himself from the obvious tension between him and his sister. Annabelle shot him nervous, longing looks once in a while, begging for a chance to explain, but he ignored them all. Some wounds would take more than an apology to heal.

And she'd turned on him when he'd needed her the most.

I still didn't know if she could be trusted, and a part of me felt repulsed by the thought of bringing her into Azriel's home. I kept a careful eye on her, never leaving her alone with any of the others. If she noticed my constant hovering and suspicious glances, she didn't comment.

The house finally appeared in sight. It looked cozy and warm from the outside, with its brick, moss-covered walls, small garden and the smell of the countryside that it seemed to be wrapped in. It was still a big house but it had clearly been built with comfort in mind rather than luxury.

Maia rang the doorbell and it was Talia that opened the door.

"You're here," she exclaimed.

The two sisters hugged each other tightly, whispering how much they'd missed each other. Maia was crying again, not that that was surprising, but for once they were tears of joy. If nothing else came out of this, at least that reunion had happened.

That's when Azriel appeared in the doorway.

Something painful tugged at my heartstrings, pulling just hard enough to hurt in the best way. He came towards me, moving past the others, but he didn't close the distance between us all the way. There was a gap that he wouldn't close unless I allowed it.

I needed to take this step, to reach out to him and accept the fact that while everything else had changed, this hadn't. Not in the ways it counted.

There were so many words that suddenly came to mind, threatening to spill out in an incoherent jumble, as I took him in. His immortality prevented him from having really changed in anyway, but his eyes looked shadowed. His hands were shoved into his pockets, like he was forcefully keeping them there to prevent himself from reaching out to me.

There were so many things I needed to say, especially with how he was looking at me. It was the exact same way he'd looked at me when we'd first been reunited after I'd been taken; like I was his deepest wishes come to life. And under that gaze all I felt was inadequate.

An imposter in my own skin, an imposter in the body of the woman he'd fallen for.

"I'm not the same," I whispered.

I tried not to sound ashamed of it. It wasn't my goddamned fault for being the victim of the operation. But it was hard not to sound guilty, and scared and vulnerable.

The expression in his eyes didn't falter in the slightest.

"I don't expect you to be," he replied softly.

It was different with Theo, who was as messed up as I was. Staring at Azriel now, I felt so far away, like I was looking at what my life could have been like if everything hadn't been ruined so irrevocably. It hurt, more than any amount of tears could ever show.

Talia escorted the others into the house, leaving him and me under the darkening sky as the sun slowly sank.

"Let's take a walk," he suggested.

He nervously held out a hand. I wished I didn't hesitate before I took it. It was warm, solid in my grasp. 

We set off towards the lake near the back of the house, his hand in mine, as the blissful peace of the evening engulfed us. He led me in a circle around the lake, carefully picking his way over the roots and twigs that littered the ground. I tightened my grip and he didn't let go.

My tongue felt leaden as I opened my mouth to speak.

"What have you being doing," I asked, strained.

He looked at me as he answered, those violet eyes as beautiful as they'd always been.

"Tending to the garden with my mother, annoying my sisters and spending time with my father," he listed.

"Sounds nice," I choked out.

He'd adjusted so well, found happiness amongst his family and I'd ruined it all by dragging him back into this mess.

"You all right," he asked.

"I should have never dragged you back into this mess," I admitted.

"Hey look at me. Catherine look at me," he pressed.

He'd stopped walking to stand in front of me, arresting me in place as well. I slowly lifted my gaze from the ground to his eyes. His hands came up to cup my face, but then he seemed to think better of it and his hands dropped back down to his sides.

"I'm glad you called. No matter how much trouble we get into for all of this, it's all worth it for the fact that I get to see you again. Even more so worth it now that we might just put an end to the operation," he said firmly.

He stepped closer, warm breath fanning my face and I shivered.

"They took you from me. Let me help you make them pay," he said.

I couldn't look away from him as his eyes bore into mine. He cared so much and feared so little as he spoke about ending the operation. And here I was, still so afraid of messing with something that I'd barely gotten away from the first time around.

"I'm not who I used to be. I'm scared, terrified and I don't want to drag you into this even though I have to," I started.

"You're allowed to be scared Catherine after all they've done to you," he assured.

"I know I'm allowed to be scared, but I can't be scared enough to be afraid to do the right thing," I ranted, beyond frustrated. 

I'd stepped away from him unknowingly and he tugged me back, gaze firm. I went silent. He looked so serious, so intense as the winds around us seemed to hush to hear him speak.

And he did, in the lowest of voices that sounded like silk. 

"You can be scared. You can make mistakes and you might not always do the right thing," he started lowly.

His fingers crept up hesitantly, cupping my cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing across the top of my cheekbone.

"But you're a good person. You always have been, always will be. There's no operation, no chemicals that can change that," he said firmly.

His hand left my cheek, to gently entwine our fingers together and bring them over his beating heart.

"Perhaps you're a bit more scared now because you've been burned once but you're still as strong as ever, as brave and foolish as ever. You're doing all of this after all aren't you," he said.

I didn't even have time to breath; to process all he'd said when his next words knocked all coherent thought out of my mind.

"I love you. The person you were before, the person you are now and the person you'll be fifty years from now. Your heart has always, always been in the right place and I'd follow you anywhere," he declared.

He stepped even closer, leaning forward until our foreheads touched like he was sealing his words as a promise. His lips quirked up in a crooked smile that sent pure joy skittering through my veins. 

"I was so afraid I'd never get to say all that," he admitted softly, laughing a little. 

Because he was that happy, giddy with joy, just by being able to tell me he loved me. He was happy regardless of whether I returned his feelings or not. Loving me made him happy. 

And how could I not move closer to him with that, how could I not offer what little I could in return. 

There were salty tears dripping down my cheeks, on my lips as I pressed them to his. He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around my body to keep me firmly rooted against him. Chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat as I poured everything I had into this kiss, this moment. 

Blood rushed through my veins, lighting me up in a way that I hadn't felt in so long. My heart felt like it was about to burst as my lips moved against his. I was probably holding onto him too tight, wrinkling his shirt under my hand but he didn't seem to care, as he pressed closer.

We broke apart when I couldn't find any air to breath anymore and our breaths mingled in the small space between our faces. 

And my next three words were the easiest ones I'd ever uttered. The love I was capable of giving after all this was his. Always had been. 

"I love you too. You know that right," I asked.

It was pitifully anticlimactic after all he'd said, but I was still reeling from the fact that we'd changed so much only to fall back into what we were so easily. I was still reeling from his joy, from the way his violet eyes sparkled just for me. 

"Didn't hurt to hear it," he teased.

I chuckled dryly, leaning back a little. 

"It's going to take me a while to really believe everything you said," I admitted.

"I know," he said with a wistful smile.

I couldn't help but smile back, so broadly that my cheeks actually hurt. I couldn't help it when I saw the adoration in his face and the infinite patience in his eyes. I interlocked our fingers together and we both just stared at our joined hands with all the innocent joy of children before continuing our walk. 




3rd Person POV

Cassius didn't know what to think as he stared at his phone. Azriel had really reached out to him after almost a month of no contact. Catherine had reached out to him, asking for their help to shut down the operation.

Catherine needed him.

He wanted to leave right away but then he looked around at where he sat. He was Beta of this pack, Leila's Beta, and they'd trusted him with this job despite the fact that he'd run from this pack on more than once occasion. He doubted they'd ever trust him again if he left with no word.

But Catherine needed him.

It was at that moment that Leila chose to walk into his office. In one hand, she held a bottle of wine, in the other, two glasses. Her lips were curved up in a radiant smile as she sat across from him with her legs crossed, a subtle hint of her authority.

"Let's celebrate one week of this partnership shall we," she asked.

She popped open the wine bottle without waiting for an answer and poured them each a glass. She extended a glass to him with a smile. It was then that she seemed to notice that something wasn't right.

"You okay Cassius," she inquired.

There was genuine care in that tone, not just common courtesy. Could he really turn his back on this pack, turn his back on her? His heart wanted to see Catherine but duty held him back.

He needed time to think this through.

"Nothing's wrong. Just tired that's all," he said offhandedly.

He took the glass from her hand, clinked their glasses together before lifting it to his lips. The liquid ran down his throat, followed by that familiar burn. A hazy smile covered his face as he refilled his glass.

And it was on his fifth glass that Leila leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

For a second he didn't know what he was doing as her lips moved against his. The intoxicating taste of wine still lingered there and that was all Cassius could really sense. It took him longer then it should have to push her away.

Her eyes were full of confusion as she sat back in her seat with a frown.

"I thought you felt it too," she said openly.

"No," Cassius said, more harshly than he should have.

He reached for the bottle of water under his desk. He couldn't let anything like that happen again. It wouldn't be fair to this incredible woman.

He chugged the water and his mind slowly cleared as she spoke.

"Catherine, right. I get it. She was incredible, a force to be reckoned with," Leila said dryly.

Not just Catherine, Cassius wanted to say as violet eyes swum through his vision. Hands raking through his pitch black fur. Cassius put the water down as his fingers trembled.

"You're just as incredible Leila," Cassius said blandly.

Leila was out of her seat. She didn't look mad, just irritated that she'd been wrong. Cassius felt like hitting his head against the wall for leading her on in some kind of way.

"I'll see you tomorrow Cassius," she said bluntly.

Seeing her walk out of his office was when Cassius realized how little use he was to anyone when all he could think about was being with Catherine, Azriel and Desmond. He looked down at his phone, where Azriel's message lit up his screen. The path he was walking now was safer and steadier but it wasn't the one he was supposed to be taking.

He took out a piece of paper from his desk drawer to write up a letter of explanation for Leila to find in the morning. 





Update! I loved writing this chapter because deep down, I'm a sucker for beautiful love confessions and of the characters in this book, only Azriel's character can match with that. I tried my best to make sure it didn't come out too sappy. Let me know if you liked it. The full reunion is coming soon and then we'll get moving with the plot again. 

If you liked this chapter, don't forget to vote and comment down below. I love reading your comments, and I'm sorry if I don't reply to yours but I promise you that I do see them and they make me really happy. I'll be posting the next chapter soon. 

Until then, 

LOVE, 

ASH

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