Am I in heaven?

Was the first question that crossed Yasmeen's mind when she regained consciousness. She couldn't see anything other than the darkness that clouded her vision. No matter how much she tried to peel her eyes open, it was impossible for her to do.

A fit faded in the background though, she could hear a beeping sound. That instantly made another thought cross her mind.

Nah, I ain't dead yet. She thought, because she can only assume if she actually was, she would be seeing angels not pitch darkness and beeps that made her start guessing where she could be.

Her mind was a mess though, and her whole body ached. Even something as simple as peeling her eyes open was a struggle. You can assume how it feels to try to raise her hand and speak.

Nonetheless, she focused her mind—after countless failed attempts and tried to at least move her hand. It wasn't working either, and she wanted to cry in frustration if only that was possible—she would've thrown a tantrum.

However, it's not. So, she's left with trying to at least move a damn finger!

'Come on, Yasmeen...' She thought internally, trying some pep talk as if that would help. 'You can do it. Just a bit more...yes, a bit more...'

She nearly screamed when she was finally able to lift a finger—if that was possible, it would've been a loud squeal too. However, she wasn't sure if it was all in her head or she actually did that, but she held her breath when a warm hand instantly slipped into hers—giving it a warm squeeze.

Perhaps, she even tried because she could swear she felt a single tear slid down the side of her face. It wasn't a tear of pain though, rather, it was of happiness. She was happy she was finally able to move a finger, and to even feel someone's hands in hers—she could only assume it's her husband's.

She weakly gave it a warm squeeze back. And almost immediately, another hand was placed on the side of her face, caressing it softly. "Come on, baby." His voice came, soft and low. "Open your eyes for me." He encouraged.

She could only hear his voice but she could hear the desperation in it. She nearly broke down in tears, because never had she heard him that way—not even when she tried to leave him before.

This time it's different.

So, she tried yet again, and again. His words of encouragement continued. At a point, he even leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead—muttering sweet nothings.

That finally seemed to do it. Because, just when she thought she could no longer do it, she tried again with everything she has in her and finally, she was able to open her misty eyes.

The first person her gaze fell on was Asad, and Allah knew her eyes glossed even more at the sight of him. She couldn't remember what happened, and what lead to her being there but she knew seeing him at that moment made everything worth it.

His torn, and worn out expression instantly morphed into that of relief. His shoulders visibly relaxed, as he blew out a low breath—his face breaking into a face splitting grin. "Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah." He chanted repeatedly, leaning down to place another peck on her forehead before he pulled her into his arms—as much as he could anyway.

Whilst trying to hold back her tears and wrap an arm around him, she could wear she heard him sniff. Was he crying? She wondered. She got her answer when she heard his sniff turn into small sobs—his body shaking slightly.

He couldn't help it. He thought he had lost her—in the most brutal way possible.

He thought he failed yet another person. He thought he failed to protect the woman he loves.

How could he not be scared?

"Never again." He mumbled in a hoarse tone, sniffing. "Never again will I lose you again." He shook his head, as if trying to affirm himself more than her. Pulling back slightly, he used his thumb to wipe the few tears that slid down her face. "Don't ever leave again. If you would, take my heart along. Take my heart, and do with it as you desire. Embrace, or break it. It has only ever been yours—yours to do as you please. I don't ever want it back."

If Yasmeen wasn't crying already, she was now. Was it because of his words, or the sincerity in his tone and expression?

It was all too much, and at the same time, she wanted to savor every bit of it—almost as if it's the last time she would hear it.

This time around, she was the one that leaned her head on his torso ad weakly wrapped her arms around him—which he was quick to return the embrace, because he doubts he would be away from her for a long while now.

At that moment, it didn't matter what they went through, and what they will face in the future. It didn't matter that their relationship is ill fated and that people seemed to be against them.

Screw them all!

They, better than anyone know what they have. They know it's too beautiful to be let go and they'll be damned before they let that happen.

It's them in this. It's him, and her. Captain, and Baby. Spongebob and Bros.

Forever.

~*~

"Uhm...Asad?"

"Hmm?" He hummed, looking up from the tea he's preparing for her. The nurses had come to check up on her and have certified that she's okay now. She'll just need to be under surveillance for a while before she's discharged.

However, there's nothing wrong with her. It was just fear and shock that caused her to pass out for hours. Otherwise, she's fine—apart from the few bruises caused on her hands and legs from where she was tied to a chair.

Once he was certain the tea was well, he picked it up and headed back towards her—taking the seat beside her before placing the tea on the pull up table beside the breakfast brought by one of his aunts.

They would be back later to check up on her.

Reaching his hand out to push one of her messy tendrils back, he offered her his undivided attention accompanied by a warm smile. "What is it?" He questioned, his voice soft.

Since she woke up, he had been treating like a fragile child. She didn't mind the pampering. It hadn't gotten to the being annoyed stage yet. So, she was alright with it. So far that is.

She reached out to hold the tea cup's handle, her finger tracing patterns on it as she met his gaze. Hesitantly, she questioned. "What happened to Iris?"

Asad's expression turned grim at the mention of the woman that nearly caused him the life of his life. His hand that reached out to tuck the hair dropped on the bed, before his now cold eyes met hers. "She's been handled." He chose to say. "She won't be a nuisance to us again." He made sure of that—they all did.

Yasmeen visibly let out a breath of relief, before her lips slanted into a frown as she tilted her head to the side. She wasn't sure how he would take her next statement, but she wasn't going to keep it with her either. "You know..." She blew out a small breath, her voice dropping. "...she's still Farrah's mother." Despite everything, she wouldn't wish harm on her. "And she's my sister too."

She wasn't exactly asking that the woman be allowed into their life again. All she's saying is, she hopes whatever decision they took won't affect the little girl much. She still needs her mother—despite how crazy the woman is.

If you think about it, she did all that just for her child. She went to that extent just so she could be by her kid's side.

Asad's eyes searched Yasmeen's for an emotion she has no idea—before he nodded. "I know..." Of course he does. "...she'll still have access to Farrah, but not us." His gaze dropped to Yasmeen's bruised hand. Sighing, he took the hand in his and lightly caressed the scar, "Never us again."

He wouldn't elaborate what happened to the woman, because he believes she wouldn't want to know all the glory details. He, his father and the others handled the woman in a way that she will never be a nuisance to them again.

She will pay for everything she did—especially for what she did to Tauhida and Yasmeen—that's unforgivable. If they hadn't arrived in time to stop her—she would've burnt them all alive.

Just how heartless can she be? She was even willing to take her own life.

But, at the same time, he wouldn't keep her from his kid, their kid. He wouldn't be like his Nana. He will break that toxic circle.

Speaking of which...

"I spoke to Nana..." He looked up, his expression solemn. "...she would tell us both what actually happened in the past. No lies whatsoever. We'll know so we can finally move on."

Yasmeen swallowed thickly, but nodded nonetheless. She was ready to face and leave that part of their past where it belongs. They need to get over it so it won't drag them back.

"--Whatever it is though..." He intertwined their fingers, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "...it won't matter to me. I'll choose you today, tomorrow, and an infinite time more. Ill fate and messed up history isn't enough to come between us. The love I have for you is stronger than that all."

As always, Yasmeen only picked up one thing, just like he does. Her lips stretched into a wide grin. "You love me?"

"Isn't that obvious?" He didn't say it outright, but he did. "Didn't you see it in those letters?"

"Wait, what?" She blinked repeatedly, trying to remember where she read it. She knows she's read those letters a gazillion times, but she doesn't remember seeing it anywhere. "I don't remember seeing that anywhere. And trust me, I've read them long enough—it's all engraved in my mind."

He smiled amusedly, then shrugged his shoulders. "Check again."

"No." She shook her head. "I want to hear you say it." She puckered her lips, trying to give him her best innocent look.

It wasn't working.

If anything, it only earned her a flick on the head by him. She was quick to utter an 'ouch' and reach out to soothe the sting there. "Take your food. It's getting cold." He gestured to tea and plate in front of her.

She pouted, playfully narrowing her eyes at him. "You act like one old man at times wallahi with the nagging and all." She mumbled, bringing the tea to her lips.

"I am old."

"So...you admit you're an old man."

"I'm older than you—that's something."

"How old are you seff? Thirty-five or forty?"

"I'm twenty-nine!" Does he truly look old that she's claiming he's in his thirties? No, he doesn't. It has to be all in her head.

It was obvious from the way her lips stretched into a teasing smile that she knew exactly what she's doing. "You're still old sha." She mumbled, bringing the cup to her lips again.

"Whatever."

This is the life. This is what forever means to him. Silly arguments with Yasmeen that ends with laughter.

~*~

Nana shifted her gaze from Yasmeen to Asad, before looking down for a brief second. She couldn't bring herself to look at them both in the eye after everything she'd done. Especially after knowing what truly happened to Tauhida, and the extents Iris went because of her, it was impossible of her to not cool down tremendously.

She met with Iris before she was taken away, and the woman wasn't subdued in the slightest. In fact, she only glared at the old woman with a murderous intent and then vowed. "I will be back for you. I will make you pay for ruining my life. I'll make sure we both rot in hell together!"

Was she traumatized from that threat? Yes. Very much so.

The realization of Tauhida's death hit her more than anyone—because she was the girl's mother and father. To think that girl she raised died, and another assumed her identity without her even realizing...she felt ashamed of herself.

Now that she thought about it, she realized she had seen a few odd acts from Iris when she returned as Tauhida—however, she waved it off. Like all the other times Tauhida travels, there always seems to be something in her that changes so she didn't take heart into that either.

The extent Iris went to return, and to think someone that harbored that much hatred towards her has been living with her these past few years was scary. The woman had countless chances to end her life, she would've done that if she wanted to.

And the scariest of all was the threat. She meant it—and Nana could feel it. If Iris nearly killed herself and her sister, what about her? She'll feel absolutely no remorse to do that too.

That knowledge had her coming down from whatever high she was on. She couldn't even turn Asad down when he asked her to truly explain what happened then, she couldn't turn it down.

She's already shaken up. She doubts she will return to normal any time soon. Despite her son reassuring her that Iris can't do anything to her.

"What happened?" Yasmeen voiced out, unable to hold herself back. There was something about the old woman's expression that truly made her believe there's more to the story than it seems.

Nana swallowed thickly, her heart hammering behind her ribcage. "I'm sorry."

Yasmeen's fingers that were intertwined with Asad's tightened, her throat constricting. "Just please...tell us what actually happened. That's all I ask of you. We need to move on from this. Don't you think so?" Even she was surprised by how calmly she's taking all of this when internally she's a nervous wreck.

Finally, Nana was able to bring her head up—and when her gaze clashed with the two, the feeling of being ashamed filled her up. How is she supposed to admit her wrongdoings now?

Still, she knew she has to.

And so, she did.

"I...It was Khadija." She stated lowly, her voice and words barely heard by the two.

At the mention of his mother's name, Asad's brows crushed together, "What? What did she do?" His stomach churned as he thought of the worst.

Nana swallowed thickly, fiddling with her fingers in front of her. She promised herself that she would take this secret to the grave. However, she should've known the truth always prevails.

Her main worry was; how can she face them all after what she did?

Nonetheless, she swallowed thickly and continued. "She was the one who ran into Yasmeen's mother, not the other way around." Her words came out low, so low that she hoped no one will ever hear the words out loud.

But they both did, and Yasmeen was the first to react.

She blinked repeatedly, her brows squished together. "Wait...I don't understand." She took in a deep breath, and tried to calm herself as her hold around Asad's hand tightened. "What do you mean she ran into her? You need to elaborate."

Nana couldn't bring herself to lift her head and look at any of them. So, she made so with looking down at her hands and hanging her head low. "That day, Khadija was diagnosed with Alzheimer's." She swallowed thickly, before taking in a deep breath. "You can imagine how hard it was for her to accept—especially because she was pregnant with Asad's younger sister then."

Asad's lips slanted into a frown. He doesn't remember anything about his mother being pregnant after her divorce with his father. This must be why he believed his childhood memories weren't accurate.

But, how come he doesn't know of this sister of his? What happened to her?

"—It was night time, and on her way back—her mind was clouded with so many worries." Nana was strictly speaking from what the woman told her, and from what she saw too. "She didn't realize it until it was too late that she hit a person on the road." She hesitantly lifted her gaze to Yasmeen. "She hit your mother." She whispered, scared of the girl's reaction and boy did it have her hanging her head low again.

Yasmeen parted her lips to speak, her eyes instantly glossing with tears but nothing came out. She doesn't even know what to say and how to start saying it. She could only stare at the old woman in disbelief.

And so did Asad. He could already guess where the story is heading to, and he's certain it isn't good.

"—In fear she tried to swivel the car away though it was already too late and ended up jamming into a tree. You were the car too." She redirected her gaze towards Asad. "You remember, don't you?"

He stared at her with brows drawn together. Of course, he remembers getting into a car accident with his mother but his memories were all fuzzy. That day it was happened, it was night time and it was raining heavily. The streets were empty and it all happened so far.

He was seated in the backseat, and was too preoccupied with the phone, or was it a tablet his mother gave him to play with? He didn't realize something was bothering her though it was obvious there's something off about her.

All he could remember was the accident happening. The distinct ringing that made his head pound, and blood that covered him and his mother's unconscious state—or was he the one that lost consciousness?

He wasn't sure. Like he said earlier, the memories were fuzzy but he remembered seeing her covered in blood and the next time he was awake, he was told his mother passed away.

That scene though...it haunted him for years. He had to go to therapy for it and took antidepressants for a while due to that. It was horrifying to witness a loved one's death, at least, that's what he believed.

To think it was something else entirely.

Nana saw it when the realization dawned on him. So, she continued. "—when she got a hold of her senses and realized her current predicament, she called me." And that's where she came in and played a role.

The look the two were giving her made her even more ashamed to state what she did. She even tried to justify it by shifting closer to them with glossy eyes, "You have to believe me, I only did what I had to do."

Yasmeen released a breath of disbelief, before she scoffed and looked away, unable to hold her tears.

Asad simply stared at his grandmother in disappointment, already having an inkling what happened next. "You turned the story around and blamed the victim."

"I couldn't let Khadija live with that. She was already going through a hard time with the divorce, the miscarriage, the Alzheimer's and--"'

"That's not an excuses, Nana." Asad cut her off, because he believes nothing she says will justify her actions. "It's not an excuse for what you did. It will never be." So what if she's his grandmother and she covered for his mother? What they did was wrong.

"I know but I am all Khadijah has." She was still hoping he'd understand her point of view. "Her parents left her in my care before they died. She doesn't have anyone in this world apart from me, apart from us. I needed to protect her."

"So you choose to pin the blame on my mother instead." Yasmeen turned her head to pin her glare on the old woman, her tone cold. "Because she has no one yeah? You even went to the extent of telling everyone, and ruining my mother's name. If that isn't enough, you dragged me, and Iris into this now look at where we are because of that selfish decision of yours!" She couldn't help herself. Try being in her shoes and see how it feels.

Nana who was now in tears looked down. "I'm so sorry..." She knew it was wrong, but she still did it. She just didn't realize what she did will lead to a much bigger problem.

That's why she wanted to cut off Iris and Yasmeen when she knew who they truly were. It was like fate was against her with the way it kept throwing them into her life. Karma surely came back.

Asad couldn't even say anything, feeling as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. To think reverse is the case of the whole story. It was beyond him.

Yasmeen sniffed loudly, her glare never relenting. "What did you do with the body?" She finally voiced out. "What did you do to my mother."

"I...I had someone bury her." She made sure to cut ties with the person. It was even a onetime thing, she didn't know the person, and neither did he know her. Just business, nothing more.

"Where?"

"I don't know." She didn't even want to know for peace sakes. "I couldn't let anyone see her especially after claiming she was the one that caused Khadija's accident."

"How did they even believe you?" This time it was Asad that voiced out, finally finding his voice. If his mother never died and there was never a body, how did she convince them all?

Nana understood his question. "I got the doctor onboard, and we used another body instead. I didn't allow anyone to see the corpse's face." After that, she took Khadija to the UK secretly and got her admitted in a nursing home.

Yasmeen ran a hand down her face. This was all too much to take, and her head was beginning to pound again harder than ever. Still, in that position, she held the woman's gaze and voice out a strong, "Allah ya isa tsakani na da ke." She didn't care what Asad or anyone else would say. This woman is too despicable. "I can never bring myself to forgive you. Amma, Allah zai saka min."

"Yasmeen please--"

"I think it'll be better if you just go." Asad cut in, no longer wanting to hear his grandmother's voice or even see her face.

"Asad--"

"Leave. Please."

She didn't argue. She slowly dragged her sobbing figure outside and away from them as she could no longer handle the shame. The day for her secrets to finally be laid bare has come. And words couldn't express how ashamed she is.

With her gone, Asad was silent for a good minute, not knowing what to do or say. When Yasmeen's sobs reached his ears, he thought of leaving too—assuming she wouldn't want him to stay with her.

However, as he made a move to leave, she extended her hand to hold his. "Stay, please." She whispered, looking at him through her misty eyes. "I need you."

And so he stayed, by her side like he promised.

~*~

ONE YEAR LATER.

"I found her."

Yasmeen looked up to meet his gaze—her smile slowly disappearing as her heart hammered behind her ribcage. She blinked, blowing out a shaky breath. The look on his face confirmed that it's the same person she's thinking of.

She felt as though cold water had been dumped on her. She had slowly lost hope in ever finding the woman. So, you can imagine her surprise as to how he's saying that out of the blue, about a year after they've come to an understanding of what truly happened and accepting it.

She still doesn't understand why her birth said what she did to Mama before leaving her in her care. Her best guess, something else happened before it all went down. Because it's obvious she left her in Mama's care before the incident happened.

She couldn't find anyone that could tell her what truly happened though. So, she decided to leave it in the past. Maybe, she'd find out in another chapter or story. Who knows?

She swallowed thickly, blinking a couple of times to steady her breath. He was still in the outfit he left earlier—except, he had gotten rid of the babbar riga he wore to attend his friend, Imam's nikah.

Yes, the man got married into the prominent Abd Al-Rasheed. He was able to get the pleasure of taking the Taslim Abd Al-Rasheed off the market. It was truly a joyous day for everyone, and even she was looking forward to the dinner event they've been invited to later.

However, it was the last thing on her mind then. And she's sure it's the same with Asad's too.

When she finally got a hang of her emotion, she voiced out one statement that sounded utterly weird to her ears though there was nothing wrong with it. "Take me to her."

And that was how the two found themselves strolling down the last place Yasmeen expected to meet her birth mother. If she was being honest though, a part of her—a small part she kept denying thought of this possibility but she pushed it away, hoping for the best.

Now that she stood over the graveyard belonging to her birth mother, she couldn't help the tears that slid down her face. She didn't let out a sob or a loud wail, she knew better than to do that there.

Weirdly enough, she was able to wipe her tears—and with the help of Asad, crouched low so she could touch the grave. More tears slid down her face, but she managed to not let a sound out.

At least, until when she spoke.

"Assalamu alaiki, Mama..." It felt so weird to redirect the words to a grave. But, she needed to say it to get it off her mind. "...it's me, your daughter—Yasmeen. I'm here..."

She wasn't sure how long she stayed there, but at a point, Asad helped her get on her feet because it was uncomfortable, especially in her predicament to be in that situation. When she finally felt she was ready, she bid her mother farewell for the meantime, and together, she and Asad retreated back to where they parked the car.

All through, he helped her walk considering she was due any day now. She was due for their first child together and to say they were both excited would be an understatement. However, after what she just went through today, they made a mental agreement to ditch the dinner event and the crowd.

They needed time to themselves. To think and accept everything.

They just closed a chapter by what they did. And they were both looking forward to opening another.

It came in the form of the next day that graced them. Yasmeen went into labor and after hours of it—she finally gave birth to their daughter.

Amatuallah Asad Ahmad Gidado.