Garfield: You were planning on telling them something today.

Shampoo147: Damn it, but I'll waste space on my pages if I argue. So, I wanted to tell my beloved readers that I have recently been ill and tested. And it turns out that I am dyslexic. As for those of you kind enough to be reading the A/N when you could skip to the story, I would like to share with you that I have indeed been ill recently. I was having a migraine when I woke, and in school, on my way out of third period, I managed to get into the nurse's office before I fainted.

Ayame: It's a few days later, and she's feeling much better. Her throat's still giving her hell and she still gets dizzy, but the doctors say that all she needs to do is take her new sleep-drugs and get as much rest as she can.

Garfield: She's trying to get rest, but another tragedy has recently struck-

Shampoo147: Stop, at this rate, the A/N will be longer than the story, now I feel as if they deserve a 5-6 page chapter instead of the usual 3-4. Do you know how long that could take? It's as if my mind only works in blocks of three pages.

Ayame: Whatever, on with the story.

Shampoo147: Hold on, almost got it, oh yeah! LISTEN, BEFORE YOU GO ON TO THE STORY READ THIS SENTENCE, AFTER THE CAPS LOCK THING. The older Harry is gay, there. I know you guys don't want slash, so if it makes you feel any better, his loves will be kept to himself, but he will love men, so jump ship if that'll offend you.

Ayame: Oh yeah, and she figured out who is the one who erased the Potters' memories.

Shampoo147: This is a crappy chapter, to me. But it's the only way I could think of communicating a bit of Harry's past.

Ayame: This chapter only works when you take it easily and slowly.

Why Can't I Be You?

Teddy was silent a moment before concluding his ditzy counterpart wasn't going to elaborate, appearing to find his cuticles more interesting than Teddy (which kind of offended the younger boy).

"Who's Severus Snape?"

Harry's head snapped up, the developing lines around his mouth and forehead vivid as his facial muscles tensed: but most notable to the boy were Harry's eyes. They hadn't been bright in the first place (a murky emerald to moderate jade), but now they were on the darkest scale of the jade stone. Teddy felt his back stiffen, recognizing that he had unknowingly stumbled into a sensitive subject for his older counterpart.

Harry lolled his head back, and stayed in this position long enough for Teddy to note that his counterpart actually did have stubble.

Before Teddy could speak up, however, Harry suddenly snapped his head forward and spoke, his voice never losing its false tenor. "Well, little Teddy, in order to answer your question, I'm afraid that you'll have to learn more about my life and me. Mostly my life, I think." Teddy absently made himself comfortable, having noted from his last trip here that he did get sore even in his mind.

"Well, you see, my parents were; Assistant Healer Lily Potter, and Captain Auror James Potter. Well, now for you, they're currently Charge Assistant Lily Potter and Superintendent James Potter, but for me, they died at the former titles. Now, don't look at me like, Teddy, they didn't actually die, I just never realized that they were my parents until I was already grown. They lived happy lives with many children."

Teddy sniffed, and rubbed a few tears from his wide-eyes, "No, they didn't, or you wouldn't have told me that they did."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Already learning to read an adult's lies to children? Well, you have the basics down, I'll give you that. Now blow you nose and I'll tell my story." Teddy did so, not knowing or caring where the tissue came from and where it went.

"Now, apart from my parents, I was born on July 31, 1980 at St. Mungo's hospital. I don't really know, or care, what happened in my first year of life, but I do know that when I was a year old, my Dark Lord Voldemort came to my house and managed to murder my parents. My father fought bravely, as your father had, and my mother had defended me to the death, something your mother didn't hesitate to attempt. Naturally, they weren't as powerful as the Dark Lord and they were murdered that night. No one knew why he even bothered to attack them with so many more powerful threats to his power present at the time. But he did, and when he left, he took me with him. I lived a very isolated life, only knowing the care and company of the Dark Lord himself until I was around eight, or nine, or seven . . . or five. I was kid; that's all I really remember.

At that time, I was introduced to Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. And I, in short, fell in love; puppy love, real love, a silly crush, I don't know, and I don't care, but I fell, and I fell hard."

Teddy shifted, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was admittedly sheltered in his life, but the books he read made sure that he was not completely naïve. He was quite aware of homosexuality and its implications. Stephen King and The Talented Mr. Ripley, however, kept his opinion neutral . . . but he still felt awkward.

"Lucius was beautiful. He had soft-looking white hair, long enough to fall past his shoulders; and it was always so impeccably brushed, combed and set back. I don't think I ever once saw a single strand in his face, or even standing out of place, unless he was in a fight. But then, he would have his mask on and I could only follow his movements. It always looked like he was dancing, dancing at one of his fancy-shmancy galas, or whatever the hell they call it. His robes even twirled with him, left right, twirly-twirl . . . "

Teddy, having been listening to Harry as a child would to a parent reading Dr. Suess before bedtime, allowed Harry a couple of moments before clearing his throat. Harry started before smiling, rather . . . wanly.

"Oh yes, well, I observed Lucius Malfoy first. I was fascinated with him; he was so ethereal, enough so, to remind me of the crescent moon; so beautiful, especially in comparison to his surroundings. Voldemort really didn't care for the 'finer luxuries of life' that one associates with lords, especially powerful dark lords. He got what was necessary for proper living, nothing more, nothing less."

Teddy nodded, having read that practicality was the best way to ensure survival; which is exactly what a dark lord would need.

"Ah, before I ramble about his beauty, again, I should continue. After observing Lucius, to every little crease and curve, I turned to Severus. I observed others than him, but never stopped observing him all the same. I knew Lucius Malfoy's mentality, philosophies, psychology, but I didn't have a clue with Severus. He was just so high, especially compared in intelligence and elegance, and anything but power, really.

As I grew up in Riddle Manor, where Voldemort placed me, Severus was my main tutor. I remember that, while I was still young, Voldemort would grow tired and remark at how Severus had already done this at that age, had become a certified Potions Master at age sixteen, while I could barely brew a potion. He used to remark at how I had only created a few spells, while Severus had already finished several notebooks full of original potions and spells and theories when he was only a year older than I was at the time."

Teddy squirmed, feeling the shift of moods in his counterpart.

"I had admired Severus, for his unconventional beauty, when I had first seen him. But I hated him. In my years of solitude, I had gotten so accustomed to having nothing but my Dark Lord's complete attention; to having him lavish me with adoration and praise. Suddenly, my dark prince-beauty had stolen all of that away from me. Voldemort was disappointed in me, and was regretting me.

He was going to kill me, because I was a mistake. To be honest, it pissed me off. I hated him, I hated Severus; I hated him with everything I had.

I worked my ass off, but I could never measure up to Severus, who had set the standards so high. What did he have that I didn't? I had power, I had intelligence; I had motivation! I worked so hard that it became common for me to throw up, to pass out, and lose weight continuously. What made him so damn special?

I couldn't help but figure that maybe it was something I couldn't calculate with mere observation alone. Maybe if I went a little further on Severus Snape, then maybe I'll be able to catch what made him the special one. So that's exactly what I did.

At first, I simply heightened my observation. I used to watch him very closely whenever he was around, but then I began to purposefully follow him around. I did until I became his second shadow, but it wasn't enough. I still couldn't pinpoint the why I wanted. Added to that was the frustration that I knew that Severus knew that I was watching him, stalking him, really. I was, admittedly, quite pleased when I noticed him getting more tense. I liked the thought that I was getting to him.

Anyway, since watching him wasn't enough, and talking him out of the question. I began to dress like him. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I actually stole some of his robes and clothing in order to get the style just right. The theft already done, I ordered our tailor to make clothes exactly like these, 'don't even change the size!' was what I said. It made the tailor nervous, but he pulled it off perfectly. I compared it and every stitch was in the right place, and the fabric was just what it should be; but it took forever for the person to get it right. So, to mess with Severus as much as I could (for if I pushed it way too far, he would scramble my brains like eggs with legimency) I decided to wear his clothes after I stole them, all the time.

He was beginning to get more than nervous; I could tell because I've watched him for so long. Of course, this would be of no use to me. For you see, Teddy, people don't act themselves, or naturally, when they know they're being watched, especially when they're nervous; like Severus was.

None-the-less, I began to try to act like him, watered down version he was. I concentrated on walking like him. Then standing like; sitting like him; everything he did I copied. I even doubled my efforts in Psychology in order to try and understand, then mimic, his reactions/actions.

Really, I just did my best to be him. Unfortunately, all of my hatred, jealousy, and my newfound revelation to be like Severus had a bit of a bad effect on my own psyche. Not to mention sleep depravation.

But that's a story for a different time, I'm afraid. Now, little Teddy, I actually brought you here to talk about something else."

Teddy blinked, having forgotten why he was here in the first place. Harry had told his entire story in his false-deep voice, flatly, only pausing to take in a breath.

Harry smiled mildly before continuing, "Well, now, Teddy. You didn't expect me to send you into the world of war without preparing you in any way, did you?"

Teddy flushed, then slowly nodded.

Harry frowned before smiling, this time dryly, "Well, I'm not, so I'm happy I could surprise you. But, tonight we are going to have a little lesson. Well, more of a review of the lessons you need. I know that before we encountered each other, you could draw on my own knowledge to get by. The reason you were hopeless in some subjects yet excelled in others. Also the reason why the muggle education was severely limited."

Teddy blinked, before nodding. Sometimes he forgot that Harry had been in his head longer than the pawnshop incident.

"Now, I'm afraid that since we have now met in your mind, that no longer is an option." Harry smiled and waited.

"But, if you were in my head since I was a baby, how could we have met recently?"

Harry's smile brightened considerably while he answer, "Because, before the pawnshop incident time-zone, I kept myself to a little self-zone of consciousness. I didn't really interact with you, I was simply a third-party member who was watching your thoughts, actions, etc. I was offering bits of comments on my own. But around the time before the pawnshop incidents (but not that much before) I left my little sphere and reached out to your own magic and the magic around you. It was just a hint of command-compulsion (I'll teach about it later) I let you make your way through the hell of London safely."

Teddy frowned, "But if you were doing that, then why did the pawn keeper try to steal from me?"

Harry exhaled, "Because his greed overshadowed his compulsion to help you. Thereby, I was left with little choice but to draw from my own magic. Now, before you go asking questions, I'll tell you. your magic isn't strong enough to properly support a stunner. You see, the reason that magical education doesn't begin until a few months after eleven (you actually start casting spells a few months into the school year) is because a person's magical core doesn't mature enough to do more than a few bursts of accidental magic. An extraordinarily powerful wizard can support a few spells before school without hurting himself (then or in a long run), but you're not that powerful. I was, so I incorrectly assumed that you would be able to support the stunner spell.

Naturally, I panicked when I charged my power into you and you screamed in your soul and mind. The pure burning pain I got off of you was overwhelming, and that was when I knew that I made a mistake."

Teddy flinched as he recalled being in great pain, but he couldn't fully summon the pain to him (not that he really wanted to).

Harry paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "Well, the burning was because you weren't ready. Your magical core couldn't fully support my own power, and I overexerted you. In short, the burning was because your body wasn't prepared. I guess the best thing I can compare it to is . . . like running a professional marathon without stretching or getting into shape. You're in hell afterward, but your afterward was right then. Well, that's all I'm going to explain that, so no questions!"

Teddy flinched before thinking, 'I don't think even he really knows the answer'

"No, I don't!" Harry responded to Teddy's unspoken remark. Teddy flushed and nodded. "Now, first we are going over arithmetic."

Teddy sighed and bit his lip as Harry continued, "Naturally we shall review addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Now, two digit addition is really the only . . . "

Teddy grimaced, but turned his full attention onto his new teacher.

Who knew what the psycho had in mind?

How you turned my world
You precious thing
You starve and near-exhaust me

Everything I've done
I've done for you
I move the stars for no one

You've run so long
You've run so far

Your eyes can be so cruel
Just as I can be so cruel
Oh, I do believe in you
Yes I do

Live without the sunlight
Love without your heartbeat
I can't live within you
I can't live within you
I can't live within you

"Within You" – David Bowie.