14th Dec 1998

Looking very dapper in his heavy sherwani, Rohan was sitting by the holy fire and listening to something the priest was explaining. Sanjana was still inside offering her prayers to the family deity.

On their return from the hospital, the brother and sister duo had been subjected to a scolding from their mother. Both had quietly listened to her complaints and then assured her that they would focus on making Rohan's evening a success. Brushing away Oliver's enquires with the briefest of explanations, Deepika had rushed off to get ready for the main event.

But first, Deepika had found Radhika and made up some story, about how before being sedated by the doctor Naina had requested that they refrain from sharing the news of the accident with her family tonight. Radhika had been a little baffled by the request, but then decided that it worked in her favour, as handling a couple of hysterical women at the time of the big event would have posed an unnecessary challenge.

Now dressed in a fuchsia pink Ghagra-Choli and some heavy gold jewellery, Deepika was rushing around making sure that the personal touch expected by the guests was applied.

Donning a dark blue suit and deep red tie, Sameer was trying to do the same, but he was struggling to keep his mind focussed on the exchange of greetings and pleasantries. First the scare of the accident and then the subsequent revelations in the hospital, the day just kept getting more and more convoluted!

Sometime back, he had checked with Guptaji if there was any update on Naina's condition. Guptaji had first profusely thanked him "Sameer sir, from the very first time I met you, I knew you and your family are exceptional! Otherwise who spares so much time and thoughts for people like us?! Naina will be incredibly grateful to your family for your kindness and thoughtfulness. I have become your fan!"

Kindness and thoughtfulness... As Sameer thought those words could hardly suit him, Guptaji had informed him "Radhika has sent a guy from her team to the hospital. Apparently, the guy was not required to play any active part for the evening and hence has been assigned to hospital duty for the night now. Once we are free from our duties, Vibha and I will visit the hospital. But that might have to wait till the morning."

Sameer had asked again "Have you heard anything from the hospital?" Guptaji tried assuring him "Since there hasn't been any call from the hospital, I think it's safe to assume that she is doing fine." Then chuckling at his own wit, he added "After all, in such cases, no news should be considered as good news!"

Though he did not agree Guptaji's assessment of the situation, Sameer nodded uncertainly as he walked away "Please let me know if you hear anything at all. I must insist! Thank you..."

* * *

An excited murmur ran through the crowd, as Sanjana decked in gold and dressed in a very heavily embroidered red saree walked out and took her seat next to Rohan.

The priest was glad to be able to start the rituals and started chanting some mantras. The female guests immediately started evaluating her bridal look and the weight of her jewellery, while the male guests glanced at their watches and estimated the time of completion of the rituals.

Vivek walked around introducing Oliver to the guests who hadn't been around for the earlier functions. Oliver frequently glanced at his wife, who seemed rather out of sorts since her return from the hospital. He knew that Deepika had come to care a great deal about Naina over a short period, but her barely masked irritation at the moment puzzled him. Just what had happened at the hospital?!

Throughout the evening, Anjali and her other two cousins repeatedly narrated the tale of the accident and their lucky escape, to all the relatives assembled.

Every now and then, Kabir nervously glanced at Sameer, hoping Sameer wouldn't be too mad at him for not sharing his suspicions with him earlier that evening.

Kabir recalled warily, how once back in school he had been worried about telling Sameer that he had not been picked for an intra-school football match as the coach deemed his sprained ankle a liability. Sameer had been furious claiming even with his injured ankle he was a much better player than the boy who had been given his spot! Later while they were in college, Kabir had once fretted over the falling out between Sameer and another friend, over some argument over something that he couldn't even recall now.

All these issues that had seemed so important back then, were now insignificant. But Kabir feared that if Sameer took offence to him withholding the information about Naina's confession, it might leave a permanent dent in their relationship.

* * *

After it felt like he had greeted every guest present, Sameer grabbed a seat near the dais where the wedding rituals were being carried out.

Before the rituals started, an hour had been spent bringing Rohan's Baraat up the driveway of Dasi Mahal. Rohan had looked very uncomfortable sitting atop the mare specially decorated for the occasion, but everyone else had seemed to be having a great time dancing to the tunes of some evergreen Hindi songs and some of the latest Bollywood hits! Sameer had just gone through the motions, the actual proceedings barely registering with him.

But now, watching Rohan and Sanjana following the priest's instructions, taking another step closer to tying the holy knot, Sameer felt good. It brought him satisfaction to see that his brother was starting his journey as a married man with the woman whom he deeply loved.

And yet, it also stirred some unease in the pit of his stomach, as his own uncertain future hung in flux. Once again Sameer was consumed with the doubts that had been invading his senses since he had learned of Naina's pregnancy.

Long ago, he had tried to make peace with the prospect that she had probably reconciled with her ex. But his hopes had come alive, when he learnt the truth behind her silence and witnessed her despair at their missed chances.

While in school, he had been awed by the miracle they have witnessed in science class, the way some seeds that have been dormant for a very long time, sprout almost overnight and a little green bud pushes through the dark soil. The past couple of days had done the same for his love and hopes.

Sameer sat wondering, how wise would it be to let some nameless faceless guy from her past destroy his chance at happiness. Deepika had said, the guy had never been in the picture, that Naina's time with him had been brief and just a mistake. So, what was the point of dwelling on it?

He had read somewhere that one of the reasons, humans highly covet the experience of falling in love, is because it is one sure-shot way of meeting the real you. A way of figuring out who you really are at your core. Often, we end up loving the person who brings out the version that we like the best of ourselves.

Two years back, he had received a letter from Izzy, sharing the news of her engagement. He had felt genuinely happy for her, that she had found a great guy who she was planning to marry in a few months. Sameer had sent her his congratulations and best wishes along with a gift for the happy couple.

Nothing had twisted in his gut at the thought of Izzy living a happy life in the arms of another man and raising a family with him. So, why was he finding it so hard to deal with the idea of Naina's fleeting entanglement with some guy?

Back in university, Izzy would sometimes playfully complain, that unlike the boyfriends of some of her other friends, he was never jealous of any of her male friends or even her ex-boyfriends. Sameer had laughed it off saying she should consider herself lucky that he was not one to give into these petty emotions, and that he did not care about her past romances as it had no bearings on their present. He believed that one should have a relationship where you feel confident and secure, or just not have it! Finding the idea of jealously to be very futile and silly, he had previously managed to keep it at bay.

But the green-eyed monster had finally raised his head within him too. Sameer smiled a little sadly thinking, she brought out not only the best, but also the worst in him.

Maybe this was real love, that which brings out not the best, but the most complete version of us. Where we must decide, which parts of us should we allow to dominate, and which should be tamed.

Dwelling on Naina's earlier distressed condition, he realised that, irrespective of what she had or had not felt for the guy, the miscarriage had broken something in her. Having witnessed Deepika's recent struggle, he understood that the pain would continue to be a part of Naina for a long time. Would he be strong enough to accept it and help her grieve whenever she needed to? Even as he wondered, he felt uncomfortable with this part of himself which seemed to struggle a little to accept the child that she could have borne.

But would he be able to walk away now? When life had finally placed them in front of each other and given them a chance to confront and vanquish the ghosts of the past?! The bigger question was, did he want to walk away?

While Rohan and Sanjana solemnised their vows and walked around the fire pledging their love to each other for seven lives, Sameer made a resolution of his own. He decided to put aside his petty pointless jealously and his ego. If she were willing, he would try to give himself and Naina a real chance.

The wedding rituals were completed, and the newlyweds were soon bowing to the elders and seeking their blessings.

As Sameer offered them his congratulations, a renewed impatience seized him to head back to Naina. Casting a look at his wristwatch, he realised that it would have to be at least another hour and half if not two, before the final Bidai related ceremony would be completed and he could slip away.

He attempted to push through the event, absentmindedly carrying out his expected duties, while the memory of her laying ashen faced in the hospital bed kept playing in his mind. He desperately hoped that the injury to her shoulder was minor. The junior doctor had mentioned that the cut on her forehead was small, but still a few drops of blood had soaked through to the surface.

The memory of those specks of red against the white bandage was immensely unsettling, reminding him of his repeated dreams with an ominous intonation. Sameer wondered haplessly, if all those dreams had been his sixth sense building to today's moment in the hospital. She had been in almost as much pain today, as she had appeared to be in, during that first ghastly nightmare.

The uncle he had been standing next to, asked him, sounding concerned "Sameer?? Beta, are you okay? You don't look too well." Sameer muttered that he just needed some water and moved in the direction of the drinks table.

Instead, he grabbed a coffee and stood sipping on the hot liquid, still lost in his quandaries. Could it really be possible? That I had dreamt of the future??

Being a man of logic, mostly anyways, this theory seemed too far-fetched. But nothing else seemed to make any sense!

Till it did.

A vague, deeply buried memory slithered to the surface, navigating the crevices of his subconscious. His last memory of her, from the first trip. Naina wrapped in an oversized white bathrobe, slipping out of the bed, and rushing towards the bathroom. His sleepy eyes had been focussed on her shy smile as she glanced back at him over her shoulder, but his peripheral vision had still registered the specks of blood on her robe.

The cup of coffee in his hands shook precariously, spilling some. It had been her first time? How did I not realise? Was I so drunk? Why did she not say anything? Or maybe she did, and I just didn't pay much attention? No, I couldn't have done that... He swayed slightly – All those dreams... Naina almost always in white, her clothes stained in red. Is this what my mind was trying to remind me?

Her hesitancy to interact with him, to reconnect, suddenly made complete sense. To her, for all these years, he had been the jackass who had taken her virginity and left without a backward glance.

How she must have loathed me! No wonder, she had been ready to move on and find happiness with another guy. So, how could he fault her for that?

And yet, she had attended Nanu's memorial, hoping to meet me again. So, she hadn't given up on me completely, at least to start with... Some hope still prevailed. Even today she clung to me, not wanting me to leave her alone, implicitly trusting me in that state of delirium!

He no longer cared if his role in the wedding had been fulfilled or not.

Sameer called out to Kabir, who was sitting with a group of young men. As soon as they were out of anyone's hearing range, Sameer spoke agitatedly "Kabir, I have to go to the hospital before she wakes up. You have to cover for me here! Please make whatever excuses that you need to make... Just make it sound like I am somewhere around here. I really don't want her waking up alone. Shit man... I really screwed up!"

Thinking his friend had somehow joined the dots on his own, Kabir nodded in understanding "Of course! I will manage things here." Murmuring his thanks as he turned to leave, Kabir clasped Sameer's shoulder tightly. Swallowing the grief gathering at the back of his throat, Kabir spoke heavily "Sammy, I am really sorry. I can't even imagine what a shock this loss must be for you."

Sameer stilled "What?" Slightly unnerved by his response, Kabir mumbled "Sorry... I didn't say anything earlier... I thought, it would be hard for you to deal with during the wedding. But she shouldn't be alone again. I understand, you two need to be together right now."

"What are you talking about? What didn't you say earlier?" Sameer's voice was taut. Kabir replied baffled "About the baby... what else?" With a sense of foreboding, Sameer managed to mumble "What about the baby?"

Kabir ran a hand through his hair and muttered sounding dismayed "Oh shit! I thought you were rushing to the hospital because you had figured it out." Taking a deep breath, he spoke "Sammy, I can't say this for sure... you will have to ask Naina. But, based on whatever she was saying to you in the hospital, I think the baby was yours. She kept saying something about you leaving, then Nanaji passing away, and then losing the baby. She was complaining that you weren't there, and she was all alone. More than what she said, it was how she was saying it..."

After standing still and silent for what seemed like an eternity, a thousand thoughts galloping through his mind, Sameer spoke "It fits. Everything else that Deepu said about the father. But, the timing... she said it was about two years back, right?"

Kabir sounded perplexed "Yes, but maybe Deepu got it wrong." Sameer wondered out loud "But wouldn't Naina have mentioned it to me when we spoke of the past and cleared our misunderstandings? Kabir, she didn't say a word..." After a contemplative silence, he added gruffly "Deepu said it was a mistake. Do you think Naina really thinks we were a mistake?!"

Patting his shoulder, Kabir advised "Sammy, don't start speculating. Go to her and talk. And don't assume anything about the baby's father right now. First, see what she has to say, okay?"

Nodding uncertainly, Sameer muttered "I seriously don't know what to think... or even hope for anymore. But I have to go to her now."

* * *

The dark, deserted village road the car travelled on didn't feel as gloomy as the anxieties and apprehensions swirling within Sameer.

Unlike earlier in the day, the hospital parking was vacant.

The night duty guard first tried to stop him, saying that the visiting hours were over. But then stood open mouthed as Sameer explained who he was visiting and why. Both tried to converse in their own tongue for a couple of minutes, without either making any heads or tails of what the other for saying! Finally, feeling overwhelmed by the aura of the man in the suit and his posh English, the guard waved him in.

The brightly lit corridors of the hospital seemed eerily quiet and empty. Most of the rooms were in shadow. A skeletal staff of few nurses, ward boys and a couple of junior doctors were holding the fort for the night.

The Nurses station on first floor was abandoned as Sameer passed it. He encountered one ward boy carrying a bedpan and some crumpled soiled bedsheets as he tentatively approached the room where he had left Naina earlier in the day. An older man was snoring on a bench across from her room, using his small bag for a pillow. Sameer wondered if he was the sentry posted by Radhika.

As Sameer stood in the doorway of her room, akin to his hope and confidence, a tube light was flickering at the other end of the corridor. The room was dimly lit with a low voltage bulb. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the room.

* * *

Naina's eyes fluttered open as she turned to find a comfortable position in the bed. The effect of the painkillers had started to wear off and a dull ache had returned in her shoulder. Her throat felt dry too. Her gaze wandered over the hazy shapes in the semi-dark room. Based on the silence and darkness around, she guessed it to be night.

She groggily remembered waking up some time back, when a young male doctor had been checking her vitals. The doctor had repeated informed her that she had been in an accident, but not seriously injured, and was in the hospital for observation. Naina had recalled the trip to the market with Anjali and the other ladies, and the subsequent collision with the jeep. The driver of the jeep had suddenly veered off course. Their driver had tried to rapidly respond, but the car had still been hit. Naina remembered hitting her head on the dashboard, but the memories following it were very fuzzy. Some shouting and jostling as she was moved to another vehicle and then waking up in the hospital.

Some other moments from earlier in the day flashed through her mind. She uncertainly wondered if she had dreamt of Sameer being by her side, holding her. But then she recalled that Deepika had been there too, talking to her, trying to explain that she had been in an accident. Naina nervously strived to put gather the fragments of those memories together.

I told him about the baby, didn't I?! A shiver of trepidation passed through her, as she realised her resolve to shield him from the pain had crumbled. Naina closed her eyes thinking the timing couldn't have been worse, as if she had been out to sabotage these moments of joy with his family!

And then a wave of disappointment surged within her, this time for herself. Her hand which had been clutching his shirt back then, was now fisted around the rough hospital sheet. He had left. Again. Only this time it felt much worse. He left, even after knowing everything. A couple of tears trickled from the corner of one eye.

But why am I disappointed? Naina wondered, was this behaviour of his unexpected? Had she expected him to suddenly change all his priorities and commitments? No, she hadn't expected that, but maybe a part of her had hoped for it...

Realising that her parched throat could not be quenched with tears, she pushed herself up into a more upright position. When she failed to spot any water to her left side, she slowly turned to the right.

The sight both shocked and sated her.

Sameer was uncomfortably slumped on a chair placed towards the head of her bed, out of her initial line of vision. He had fallen asleep, his head bent to one side at an awkward angle that guaranteed a crick in the neck. He was wearing a pair of formal dark trousers and a light-blue shirt with rolled back sleeves. The suit jacket was placed in his lap. A lock of his hair had fallen across his forehead.

For about a minute, Naina gazed at him with love and yearning, but above all with relief. Then, her voice laden with a multitude of emotions, she called out to him "Sameer..." He woke up with a start, almost jumping out of the chair "Naina, you're awake! Are you feeling okay? Let me call the doctor."

She muttered "I am okay... I just need some water." Grabbing the stainless steel glass and jar from the side table, he poured and offered her a glass. After she had taken a few sips, Sameer put the glass back and sat on the bed, next to her.

Both silently looked at each other, waiting for the other to say something. Sometimes when there are too many words battling to burst out of you, not even a single can escape.

"How is your shoulder? Did they take you down for any scans?" He finally asked sounding concerned. She shook her head "I had woken up once, but just for a bit. The doctor said they will take me down in the morning when the technician comes in."

"And your head?" He pushed back some of her hair from the forehead. "It still hurts a little, but not as bad as before." Her voice trembled as he gently caressed the left side of her face. Naina instinctively tried to turn her face to rest against palm, but then winced in pain as the effort strained her left shoulder. Quickly cupping her face, he cautioned "Careful Naina! The movement might trigger the pain."

His eyes drifted to that white bandage on her forehead, the sight of which had dragged some repressed memories to the surface, and then lingered on the contours of her face.

She was gazing at him with an open, trusting look and yet there was a perceptible nervousness in her countenance. Just like she had been back then. It suddenly dawned on him that her shy smiles that had haunted him all this time had not been just a result of her coyness, but also her naiveté and inexperience. Her unsure look and question from that night about their first kiss, which he had always found a little odd 'Was it not good?', he suddenly saw it in a new light. It had been her first kiss?!

Feeling overwhelmed by both awe and guilt, he bent closer to her and gently brushed his lips against her temple "I am so sorry..." Sameer left the sentence unfinished not sure how to apologise for his insensitivity that evening, and also for what must have felt like a rejection of her the following morning.

Naina gulped anxiously wondering, if he was apologising for not being there for her when she needed him the most, or if he was expressing his sympathies on their loss. Momentarily finding herself at a loss of words, she just gave him a small nod.

"What time is it? Are all the wedding rituals complete already?" She enquired, suddenly recalling the event that would be in progress that evening. He shook his head "Not all... I waited till the important ones were done." She protested "Sameer, you shouldn't have come over now. I understand, it's an important occasion."

He gently nudged her to shift a little and make more space for him next to her. Discarding his shoes, he settled next to her, stretching out his legs on the bed, and held her free right arm. "Being here is very important too..." he stated softly.

Sounding remorseful, she muttered "Sorry... I didn't mean to share all that with you. Especially today. It's the worst possible time..."

When he didn't respond, she attempted to explain "I don't know what exactly happened... waking up in the hospital... it was very confusing. It brought back such terrible memories! I felt like it was that day, and then you arrived. I got mixed-up, thinking that you were here because of the miscarriage."

Her softly spoken words struck him with a force beyond reckoning!

"So the baby was mine." He uttered in a daze, as her words confirmed Kabir's conclusions. Naina instantly looked up at him her brow creased in confusion "Who's could it have been but yours?"

The colour drained from his face, at the simplicity of her rhetorical question. A knife of shame slid through him, nicking his heart and soul, as the words that he had uttered about her to Deepika earlier that day echoed in his head.

Reading some of his feelings in his eyes, Naina's widened in horror. She tried to pull her hand away as her cheeks and nose reddened in mortification. But then her indignation overpowered her shame and she hissed "Just what type of person do you think I am?! Sleeping around without an inkling of attachment might be normal for you. But it isn't for me!"

"Naina... I didn't mean it that way..." He tried to convince her. But his guilty expression did not quite match his words. "So, what did you mean?" she asked her resentment barely concealed. He fumbled, trying to find an appropriate response "I was just... it's still too new. I am trying to get my head around it. It's not something one can easily deal with..."

"You don't need to tell me how hard it is to deal with!" She replied bitterly. "I am sorry... I can't imagine how hard it has been for you." he spoke putting his arm around her rigid form. She unsuccessfully tried to move away from him.

Sameer tried to plead his case "Naina, you know, I can't understand Hindi. I just didn't follow what you were saying earlier. Kabir drew a conclusion based on what, he thought, you were saying. But he wasn't sure... and I didn't want to assume." He felt her body relax a little, but she still looked unconvinced. He further added in his defence "Deepu told the doctor it happened a couple of years back. I thought, you must have been involved with someone else after me."

She winced as shook her head vehemently and responded agitatedly "I wasn't!" "Shush... Please, calm down and stop moving!" he implored.

"Naina, how was I to know? I heard of the pregnancy from Deepu..." Sameer tried to rationalize. Then he asked in a pained voice "Why didn't you tell me? And when were you planning on telling me?"

When she stayed silent, her eyes focussed on the blanket, he uneasily bent lower and, staring at her face, demanded "You were going to tell me, right??" Casting him one furitive glance, she looked away again. He asked again with an edge to his voice "Naina, you did plan on telling me, right?"

She muttered "I had decided to tell you, but then I thought you would be better off not knowing." He sounded incredulous "Better off not knowing??! You can't be serious! How could you even consider hiding something so big?"

Her shoulders slumped "Sameer, I didn't mean to hide anything. I just didn't want to burden you with the pain." His voice was heavy and eyes glistened "I have every right to know, to feel the pain, to mourn! Does my child not deserve my tears?" He felt a chill rush up his spine as he uttered the words 'my child'.

A few tears slid down her cheeks "Believe me, I have shed enough tears for the both of us. It's not easy Sameer... the pain, it eats you up from the inside." He pulled her close against his chest "Since I met you again, I kept thinking your eyes had lost their twinkle. Now I know which tears washed it away." After a few moments, as some tears trickled from his eyes too, he sighed "I am so sorry... I wasn't with you."

Safely encompassed in his arms, Naina allowed herself to fall apart, as she had never been able to before. Through her tears, every now and then she managed to mumble a few words "Sameer, it hurts... really hurts. I didn't know what to do... or who to talk to." As he tried to soothe her "I know..."

She continued sorrowfully "I really needed you! Why didn't you come for Nanaji's memorial? Maybe, if you were here that day, I wouldn't been so stressed out and wouldn't have lost the baby that night."

He stuttered "That night? What... do you mean??" There was a steady stream flowing down his cheeks, as she whimpered and told him about the ordeal, she had undergone that night in Ahmedabad.

Sounding aghast, Sameer muttered "I dreamt of you... that you were bleeding and weeping... do you think it was that night?" She stared at him shocked and speechless, had her cries reached him after all?

Naina went on to share "That night was definitely painful, but do you know what has been even worse? Pretending like none of it ever happened!"

She spoke, as his thumb absentmindedly stroked her arm, "I was constantly scared that someone would figure something out. At work, I was so scared that Mrs Patel would mention something to my colleagues and they would scorn and judge me, that I ended up leaving that job." He scowled thinking, that is why she had left that job a few months after his return to London.

Naina continued "Outside, it was such a trial to watch all the happy couples, the pregnant women and the little babies that seemed to appear everywhere! And at home, making excuses to my family for my mood-swings. The first year was so difficult Sameer! I couldn't bring myself to smile, and everyone around kept complaining that I was unnecessarily being grumpy."

He remarked shakily "Deepu said your family doesn't know about it? Why did you hide it from them Naina? They should have been there for you." A part of his screamed, Actually, I should have been there for you!

She shook her head "This is India Sameer. These things are not supposed to happen, and if they do, they are not to be spoken of or acknowledged. It would have killed my Maa and Nani, to know that the very first time I stepped out of the house for a work-trip, I had broken their trust and discarded all their teachings. And for what?? A guy I hardly knew... who walked away like I was nothing?! How could I have justified that?"

He tried to argue "Naina, you know it wasn't like that... I really wanted us to stay in touch, to get to know each other better. It could have been so different if you had got my letter."

"Maybe. But I didn't get the letter. And I had to deal with the facts that were in front of me." Naina stated flatly. His words 'could have been so different' added to her long list of heartaches. Was he afraid that she might expect a do-over?

Naina tried to assure him, and probably herself too "Sameer, there is no point revisiting the 'could have been'. The time for us is gone. I had decided to not share this with you because I didn't want it to drag you down. Not when you are set to start your new life."

"Everything...I thought...I knew about my old life is falling apart... and you are talking about me starting a new life. What new life Naina?!" he asked dismayed.

"Your new life with Ishita...what else? I know, that's what you... want." her reply came out a mere whisper. He cringed thinking, Of course she has noticed the speculations about Ishita and me!

Sameer strongly disagreed "Not me! It's something that only our families wish for." She spoke with a catch in her voice "Sameer, I understand, why they want it. Why it's a logical choice for you."

When he started "Naina, it's not like that. I don't have any feelings for her. I-", she interjected "Please, you don't have to explain it to me."

After taking a deep breath, as she made peace with what she was about to say, she confessed "I am thankful though, that you chose to be here now. Just hold me tonight. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I really need you by my side, right now. You can go back to her, and your life, tomorrow."

The longing of all the lonely nights overtook her. Naina snuggled her head into the crook of his neck, needing to be close to him. He felt like... no, he was, the harbour her ship had been seeking.

Mindful of her injuries, Sameer helped her lie down "Rest now and get some sleep. I will be here when you wake up." Still holding her close, resting his cheek against her head, he murmured "Naina, there is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, happening between Ishita and me. I have informed my mom of my decision and asked her to relay the message to Ishita's family."

She wasn't sure if that would make any difference to the way things stood between them, and yet her heart felt lighter knowing he wasn't promised to another.

Fatigued from the emotional outburst, and the residual effect of the sedatives, Naina soon fell asleep against his chest.

But Sameer stayed awake for a very long time. Before now, he hadn't dwelt much on the idea of parenthood. It had been a vague notion, an eventuality with a high probability, but not something he had been counting down to. Now lying next to Naina, Sameer grappled with the realization that he had almost become a father.

The image of a cute little girl with curls, an impish smile, and big eyes just like Naina's, calling out to him, flashed through his mind. He gave himself a mental shake thinking it could have been a boy.

Considering the child would have been about four now, he tried to guess which of his niece or nephews the child would have been closer in age to. He struggled to come to terms with the reality, that while he had been happily playing the occasional uncle to his cousin's children, somewhere Naina's heart had shivered in dread looking at the young kids around her.

His eyes lingered on the dried-up tear marks on her cheeks and his chest tightened thinking, all this time, she has been grieving for them both. No wonder she rarely appeared happy in any of his dreams!

He softly rested his palm against her stomach, stunned by the knowledge that, for a while, a part of him had been anchored inside her. A couple of tears slid from the corner of his eyes, as he tried to picture how she would have looked with a pregnant bulging belly or cradling a tiny babe against her breasts.

The fears and anxieties she had described, he now felt them reverberating in his heart. Though unknowingly, he had been the cause.

Why did I so recklessly give into my desire for her that night? Sameer wondered despairingly. A part of him pleaded that, just like her, he had been powerless against the forces that had drawn them to each other. And though some of him questioned the wisdom behind his actions, he couldn't bring himself to entirely regret the bond that had been formed between them.

The despair in his heart grew as he recalled her words –Tomorrow, you can go back to her and your life... The time for us is gone... Was the time for them really gone? He wanted to try to convince her otherwise. But wouldn't it be selfish of him to expect her to forgive him all the pain that he had left her with?

Sameer lightly pressed his lips to the top of her head, not sure what to do next. After unsuccessfully dwelling on this dilemma for a while, sleep overcame him too.

* * *

(Hi Everyone,

Hope you enjoyed this part. Eagerly awaiting your reactions and feedback as always!

I will aim to continue with these fortnightly updates, as it's been getting busier on the work front for me.

Have a lovely weekend ahead and stay safe!

Lots of love, May)