These chapters are getting a lot longer, so I hope you like that :) I didn't have enough time to make this as long as I wanted,. Remember to comment and all that, ly!

   Bucky pushed past them and rinsed his wound in water, heart racing. The others lingered in his room as he dried his arm off. He noticed Yelena looking at one of his bookshelves- Oh no. 

   He gulped, closing his eyes for a second, wanting them to leave his room. "Let's go into the main room," he mostly said to her, and they drifted out into the living room, Bucky's mind wandering in the same old dull, encapturing circles as always. Yelena touched his arm at an angle Sam couldn't see, knowing it would calm Bucky at least minimally. 

   He didn't react, other than a blink. But his heart rate slowed, and he felt more grounded. 

  "Hey, it's alright to need help, man." Sam told him.

   "That doesn't make a difference, Sam," Bucky said softly, the last thing he had the energy for was lying. His friend nodded. 

   Sam nodded again and reached for the door, and was pleasently surprised by Bucky following him out. In the corner of his eye, Bucky saw Yelena smile. 

   "What's up?" Sam asked as they walked across the grass, hands in his pockets.

   Bucky's eyes lingered on the truck parked in front of his house. "Did you borrow Sarah's truck again? When'll you buy your own?"

   "Soon as this mess blows over."

   "How much of a mess is it? Looks bad."

   "That's 'cause it is, but I think somehow it will get sorted. Are you... worried about me?" Sam asked teasingly.

   Bucky didn't have the energy for a reaction, he just stared at him. "Um... Yes."

   "Right. I'll survive... I hope."

   "Uh huh. That's what they all say."

   "Excuse me?"

   "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean that."

   "Did you?" Sam pressed, eyes pinned on Bucky's.

   Bucky cleared his throat. "I know it's morbid, I just... you don't very hopeful." He felt like throwing up what little he had in his stomach. "Don't give up."

   What he really meant was I'm scared for you. But those words were impossible to form sometimes. He just hoped that Sam understood.

   Why the hell did he suddenly feel an urge to be truthful to everyone? He ran a hand through his hair, kowing the answer, even if it was a crazy and drastic one.

   "That was..." Sam started. "Uh."

   Bucky looked away. "Just stay alive."

   A brief silence was passed between them, coated with a thick seriousness. This didn't usually happen with them. It was almost always deadpan jokes tossed around casually... but today Sam caught him at a vulnerable time, and he couldn't hide it.

   Yelena, Yelena, Yelena. How did she manage to throw his life so completely out of its usual orbit like this? 

   Focus, Bucky. 

   "You know, I'm worried about you too," Sam murmured. 

   Of course he is. "Yeah, I know."

 "Bucky, can you tell me what that was? Because she seems to get it without an explenation and I don't." He gestured at the dark house, where the windows were covered by curtains. But Yelena's silhouette in the dining room window sat by herself.

   "It was a trigger. I -I got triggered..." Bucky trailed off, not wanting to form those words. But Sam had an imagination. He'd get even more worked up if Bucky left him hanging. "Um, this doesn't usually doesn't happen, okay?"

   "Looked like she was used to it."

   "You don't know who she is?"

   Sam nodded. "I do know. I did my research. You sure you're alright with living with her?"

   "Of course. This is the home I grew up in, Sam. If I didn't trust her she wouldn't be here."

   "It was painful, wasn't it?" Sam asked, a rare softness about his features. 

   "It was... a memory I'd rather not keep, and, I don't know, it just... happened." He tried to lower the shakiness in his voice. "But don't worry about me, just focus on work. I... I'll be fine."

   Sam nodded. "Okay, alright..."

  "Go get that eye looked at," Bucky said in lieu of goodye, and spun on his heels, heading back inside. 

    "Catch you later, Bucky!" He saw Sam give him a wave in the corner of his eye and returned it before giving him a small smile as he closed the door.

   Yelena sat in her chair, leaning back as Bucky left. The minutes passed as fast as her thoughts did, her mind busy and occupied by what she saw in his room. 

   A letter, cracked and yellow. Spidery cursive belonging to a woman by the name of Connie, the name scrawled at the very bottom of the page after 'missing you'.

   Who was Connie? Bucky never mentioned her. Was she an old girlfriend that he left when he fought in WWII? 

   The front door opened and closed. Bucky sat heavily across from her, making a tired pouty face, a dark look in his eyes.

   "You alright?" She asked, pushing his breakfast toward him, then twirling her spoon with her fingers. 

   His eyebrows raised, and he met her eyes with a sudden tender smile. "Could be worse,"

   Yelena felt a blush rise in her face, and shoved her food in her mouth, gazing down at the table instead of his eyes. The question of who Connie was ligered in her mind.

   He didn't seem interested in eating, she noticed. But he did eat everything his bowl, not leaving anything at the bottom. "Big appetite?" Yelena asked, still eating on her own. 

   Bucky's eyes were like glittering sapphires. They flicked to his table and back up at her. "Connie was my girlfriend. We almost got married."

   She froze, the statement unexpected. "What? What happened?" Her voice was weak and curious, but a tingle of bitterness was laced into her words. It was either because she was mad that he didn't get a normal, happy life or because he was serious about this girl. Someone else.

   He tilted his head to the side with a sad, closed smile. "Well, I died." 

   "I'm sorry. She must've been amazing. You loved her?" 

   "So much... but she got her happy ending. Even if it was with someone else." Bucky continued, but didn't sound glad. He sounded mildly heartbroken. "She still remembered me, though. I found... I found letters she wrote to me once a year after I didn't come back. There's about forty-five letters."

   "Did she... end up getting married?"

   "Yeah. Her husband was one of my friends."

   "Oof. That's..."

   "It's fine." He said firmly. "He took care of her well. And he didn't get mad that she kept writing letters. She was my best friend as well as my girlfriend, so there was always something to talk about."

   Yelena felt a lump in her thoat form, and ran a hand through her hair. He sounded so wistful and she wanted him to talk about this girl for hours just to hear him sound generally peaceful, even if she felt something bitter in her heart. He looked so handsome when he was remembering good things, because he had this sweet smile that curved his face nicely and sparkled his eyes. 

   He loved Connie completely, and it looked as if he had moved on. But the memory of her was probably imprinted in his mind after he'd gotten his memories back, one of the best things that had ever happened to him, evidently. 

   Which led her to thinking about his complicated and amazing mind. It really was interesting how he still could recall certain things about his old life in ways that shouldn't be possible. She suspected it was because of the Serum, repairing his cells.

   "Does a part of you still want that life? With her?" She blurted out, the question burning into her heart. Bucky's lips parted thoughtfully. 

   "In a way, yeah. But I think... that part of me healed. I don't know, it's hard to explain. It feels different. I can... Life here doesn't seem as bad now without her, without my family."

   She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Bucky, that's great..." and then the implications of what he was saying hit her, and she tried not to gasp.

  Bucky stood up, taking his bowl and spoon, and offered to take hers. She gave them to him, and he put them in the kitchen, his eyes lingering on the picture of his mom. Yelena watched as he walked back to the table. 

   A new thought occured to her. Why had she not realized this before? "Bucky, if you work down at the docks, then why'd you come to my job?"

   He paused. "I was given instructions to deliver your money. By the Contessa who bought the Avengers tower. I wish I could buy that place myself, honestly. I don't like her. The only reason I agreed is 'cause it was you."

   "I was working for her that day. Why would she want to push us together again like that? I mean, she must've known our past."

   "Mmmh. She's up to something, don't like it, but... I had to see you again."

   "What do you think she's up to?"

   "It isn't wise to dig into the business of someone like her. She could squash you like a fly, with all the resourses and power she has." Yelena nodded at this. "I think she hired John Walker, as well as you. Who knows  how many others."

   "She pays well, at least."

   Bucky chuckled. "Yeah, that much is obvious."

   "It can't be a coinsidence." She sighed, resting her chin on her hand. "Do we do nothing about it?"

   He shrugged. "Not much we can do. I'll think about it more and then we can decide on soemthing. But for now, we're definitely not doing anything. I dont want to get mixed up with her. Got enough enemies already."

   "Fair, fair. Sounds like a good plan. Anyway, wanna go for a jog?"

   Bucky blinked. "W-what? A jog?"

   "Yeah, but you gotta promise not to race ahead of me."

   "Oh, oh. Sure. Let's go, but I have therapy at two."

   "We can be back before that," she said, drumming her fingers on the table. "I need to get my energy out."

   "Yeah, I can tell. I myself, feel bone-tired."

   "A jog will help you get more energy. I think."

   "Mmmh, let's go then."

   The sky was a boring greyish blue, the air crisp and biting. Soggy leaves scattered the ground, making the cement partially unsafe to walk on unless you were careful.

   They strolled along slowly, not even jogging like they agreed on. She rubbed her hands together to warm them as he looked up into the sky.

   "Did everything I taught you just go in one ear and out the other?" He asked. 

   "What?" She replied, confused. 

   "That warmth technique, I taught it to you twice before you left."

  "Oh, that one... I did put it to good use, don't worry. Honestly, back then I was scared of not using it and you coming after me for it. I forgot." The cold nights in the back of trucks all those years ago came sinking back into her mind, breathing techniques and rubbing her hands together.

   "It's fine," he said, looking ahead. 

   "What are you thinking about?"

   He silently shook his head, then bit his lip. "I don't... know. I just have this weird feeling. Like something isn't right. It's odd."

   Yelena searched his eyes. He looked lost in thought. "We'll you'll figure it out, right?"

   Bucky nodded. "Yeah, I hope."

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   ~ Emily