The next morning when Louis woke up, he felt surprisingly content. He had a long, peaceful sleep and the weather was great as well with the sun shining through the curtains that Louis never managed to close properly.

He got up, threw on some sweatpants but left the shirt off because it was way too warm to be fully clothed and made his way to the kitchen. With his mind still lost somewhere in the land of dreams and his actions half automatic, he poured some milk in a pot to warm it up.

He scrolled through his messages and texted Eliza back on how he was sorry that he forgot to reply to her yesterday, which was partly true. Yes, he was sorry that he didn't text her back but he hadn't forgotten, he just hadn't found the motivation to reply yesterday.

A burned smell made his way towards Louis and he jumped from where he had been standing to run towards the kitchen just to be greeted with the over spilling milk he had been warming. The white liquid was now all over the stove and the smell intensified.

It was in that moment, when the smoke signal went off and Louis started to curse like a sailor that the door to Zayn's room opened and a very wrecked looking Zayn along with the guy, he had been with yesterday at the club walked out, both only in their boxers.

Louis sighed while he turned off the smoke signal - he already had expertise in how to turn it off quickly - while Zayn walked in with an amused grin on his face, trying to see what his roommate had burnt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, don't walk away while cooking. I'm unteachable I guess so please spare me whatever you are going to say", Louis said before Zayn could even form words and his guest chuckled.

"Burned the milk again, Tommo? What was that now, fifth time this week", he teased and Louis huffed, poured away the burned milk and let water run in the pot to soften up the burned layer on the bottom. His good mood vanished more and more with every second.

"Second time, get your facts straight", Louis murmured, face red with embarrassment and took the milk out of the fridge again. He would just drink it cold now.

"I'm pretty sure it was more than two times this week", Zayn grinned and then turned to face his guest. "Wanna sit down? I can't offer much but-"

"Coffee is alright if you have it", the guy interrupted and Louis rolled his eyes. People who preferred coffee over tea were kinda dubious to Louis. Like, who preferred coffee over tea?

"Hi, I'm Liam", he introduced himself and walked up to Louis to offer him a hand who hesitated to take it. But with a sharp look from Zayn he gave in and shook his hand. At least this one had manners. It just wasn't the first time Zayn had brought someone home and usually, Louis tried to avoid these awkward day-after-moments.

"Louis", he replied and went back to his tea, milk and cereals.

"I heard you two yesterday", Louis said, which wasn't exactly true but somehow, he felt the need to not be the only one getting embarrassed this early in the morning. He poured the milk into his tea and some of it into his cereals.

"And?", Zayn said, clearly not bothered.

"Oh yeah, fuck me harder, daddy", Louis moaned mockingly in Zayn's accent who blushed furiously along with Liam while Louis' eyes widened.

"Wait please tell me this is not what happened." He had to admit that he hadn't actually thought about the possibility it could be true. "Ew, I was joking, I had my earplugs in and didn't hear a thing. Wow, too much information, like... ew!" He shivered, not having expected to discover Zayn's kinks like this and grabbed his food.

"Alright, bye. We never talked about this. Nice to meet you, Liam."

Zayn rolled his eyes and chuckled while he went to finally make Liam's coffee.

***

Later that day, when Liam was gone and it was only them, Zayn walked up to Louis' room and knocked at his door, waving a pack of cigarettes. A peace-offering of some sorts. Louis thought of declining at first but he craved one. Finally, he nodded and got up to get out on the balcony with Zayn.

They were both smokers but agreed on not smoking inside the apartment because none of them wanted to live in the awful smell stale smoke.

"So, what happened yesterday? You just disappeared. I didn't see you afterwards", Zayn asked breaking the silence between them. Louis sighed and leaned on the metal balustrade that enveloped the small balcony.

"Thought I saw someone and went after them but it turned out to be someone else. And when I came back you were kinda busy", he answered shortly and flicked the cigarette between his fingers before taking a drag. Zayn examined him from top to toe and raised an eyebrow, absentmindedly blowing smoke through his half open mouth.

"Sorry I took him home. I know you don't like it. But he is a really nice guy. I'll probably see him again. I really want to see him again, actually."

"I'm happy for you. And it's your apartment as well, you can do whatever you want here", Louis said and took a last drag from his cigarette before he put it out in the already over spilling ashtray. But before he could walk back in, Zayn grabbed his arms and made him turn around.

"What's up, Louis? Was it something I did? Was it the Liam thing? I'm really sorry if you heard us or whatever. If it bothers you, I can warn you next time or something so you can sleep over at Eliza's."

Louis shook his head. He couldn't even explain what it was that made his great mood go down like that. It just happened sometimes. And it would go away.

"No, it's alright. I didn't hear a thing. And even though I really didn't want to know about your kinks, I kinda brought that on myself so, yeah..."

"Then what is it that bothers you? I can see that there is something. You seem a bit down. Louis, you know you can talk to-"

"It's nothing, okay? Can't be happy all the time so stop making everything such a big deal. I'm just stressed 's all", he spat and regretted it the second he said it as he saw Zayn flinch at his words.

"I just-", he murmured and ran his hand through his hair and grabbed his pack of cigarettes along with a lighter and his phone. "Sorry. I'll go for a walk."

With those words he walked inside, threw on his coat, grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Running away from his moods didn't work but at least he wouldn't have to see Zayn's hurt face anymore.

He didn't even know why he flipped and what was going on. Life was good after all, he had an amazing friend, a lovely girlfriend, a supportive family, a job, and was a student at a great university. Yet he had been feeling a bit down lately.

Yes, it was stress, exams were coming up and he didn't know how to get all those facts and details into his head to remember them at the exams. But it wasn't only stress, it was also the feeling of loneliness. Always there, in the back of his mind. When really, he didn't need to feel lonely at all. He had friends after all. And a relationship. It was stupid, really.

In high school, Louis had no problems making friends, he was quite social after all. But ever since he started his study things weren't that easy anymore. He studied business administration and to be honest, he didn't like it. He tried to tell himself that he did, but deep down he knew that he hated it.

It was a lot to take in, a lot to study and it was a study course that contained mostly of lone fighters. No one wanted to share with the other and the social status was overly present. With all those students wearing expensive brands and having their parents pay everything for them. Louis with his love for band shirts and ripped skinny jeans who worked part time at a flower shop didn't fit in there. And suddenly it wasn't that easy to make friends anymore. No one really talked to him besides two or three people that he didn't consider friends though. They were colleagues.

Sure, he still had Zayn by his side but Zayn was a free spirit. And he didn't want to talk to him about the struggles at university because he already knew what his roommate would answer him. "Go take another course."

But he didn't want to give up, he just couldn't. He had seen how his mum's face lit up after he told her that he wanted to study business administration instead of his original plan to study music.

Louis knew that his mum would have supported him either way but since he was one of seven kids and there were six other kids to feed. Money wasn't that tight but going to university was expensive enough. He couldn't disappoint his mum by giving up now, he was in too deep for now.

He sighed and took out his cigarettes and lit the second and definitely not last cigarette this day. Aimlessly he wandered through the streets of London. People passed by him, hectic and busy. London was always busy.

As he turned up at Eliza's doorstep that day it was already dark, his throat burnt from chain smoking a pack which made him feel gross and not even the slightest bit better. Louis was greeted by Eliza's pretty brown and worried eyes and she scrunched her nose as she smelt the smoke on his clothes.

Louis didn't say anything, he just went inside and went into the shower because he knew that Eliza didn't like it if he smelt and tasted like an ashtray.

As he came out, smelling like a human again and somehow better, Eliza walked up to him and carefully touched his arm.

"Are you good? Zayn called; he was worried. Maybe you can text him?"

"Sure", Louis mumbled and pulled her into a hug, smelling her familiar perfume and the freshness of her clothes. "Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I heard about this new series on Netflix that's supposed to be good."

He felt Eliza's eyes on him as he let her go and walked towards the living room. But she followed, knowing that there was no point in talking to him. As they sat on the couch, curled up next to each other, Louis wanted to punch himself for having someone like Zayn and Eliza in his life but still not being happy enough. He tried; he really did. But somehow something was missing.

❀❀❀

a/n: Sorry, this chapter was kinda depressing. Harry will be back in the picture soon, I promise. Please bear with me.