Prabir's face suddenly had a hard expression, as he calmly started to speak," Bhargu. Yes! I was...and I am concerned about Maa but if we get married she is going to be one of the happiest person I know. 

Even if we get married, you will be staying right nextdoor.

She'll be able to call you up, or come and meet you whenever she misses you, and you too can do the same. It wasn't the reason why I wanted to postpone our marriage.

I was overly anxious about me.

The whole idea of  getting married with all the pomp and show, the same year, that Keya passed away...it didn't seem the right thing to do. It makes me feel like I am an incredibly selfish scoundrel who doesn't have a soul.

Considering, myself to be the most selfish person in the world, the devil of course, I wish to marry you now for my own well-being, as I truly believe that you are the only person who can pull me out of this gut wrenching misery and stop me from delivering myself some
self-loathing pep talks every single day.

I feel guilty as hell and therefore, chose the temple as the exact place for a proposal.

I wanted to share this with you... all of this... way back but wasn't sure how you will react.

Any measures of trying to reassure me, that I am not responsible for Keya's death, that I am not responsible for her actions doesn't work Bhargu.

I feel like I sucked in all her happiness, and pushed her to such an extent, that she decided to end her life. How could I have abandoned her when she needed me the most? When I knew very well,that it was the result of a mere emotional outburst, how could I have taken her words so seriously?" Prabir sighed with agony filled in his eyes.

Bhargavi listened to his entire narration without any kind of expression on her face, as she knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

"I'll tell you a story," she stated bluntly with a poker face, still calm and composed.

"A man bid goodbye to his wife and six years old daughter, as they took off to meet his mother-in-law.

He was informed about an hour later, that the bus in which they were travelling had met with an accident. He rushed to that spot immediately and scanned all faces, avoiding the pleas of people who asked for help. His only aim was to help his own family. By the time he finally found his wife and daughter, his daughter was already dead and ...wife was taking her last breath. He couldn't help but watch her die and do nothing... feeling all miserable and hopeless.

On the other hand, there was a man who reached the same place, to help his family but tried to help anyone he could help, on his way. He helped carry people to the ambulances and save people, all the while hoping and praying silently for his family. When he recognized his wife and daughter, they were already dead and he could do nothing to save them. Though he had done a commendable job, trying to help people and save their lives, he started to curse and blame himself, thinking that it was all...his fault. Had he been there a bit earlier, he could have saved his family, instead of saving people he didn't know.

Now you tell me Prabir, why does the second person think that he possessed some miraculous healing powers and could have saved his family with a bare touch of his hands?

What makes him think that if his wife and kid were taken to a hospital, they couldn't die two days later on a hospital bed?

Why can't he be thankful that he didn't have to go through the pain of witnessing a loved one die before him?

Similar, to this man, what makes you think Prabir that...you could have saved Keya's life ...had you been in touch with her ?

I understand that it is not easy for you, she was your friend and you still keep thinking about her, but blaming yourself and holding yourself responsible...Prabir you should give yourself some more time to grieve properly, so that you are able to move on. If you keep drowning yourself in sorrow and misery, it will effect everyone close to you."

"I understand everything you say Bhargu. But I miss her badly...terribly. I still end up calling her number. She used to call me up almost everyday before that...party. We used to quarrel over silly and trivial things like... I never agreed to put on clothes matching with her's, even though she insisted several times, and sometimes told me "if you are my bestie you have to put on a navy blue coloured t-shirt tomorrow."

I keep looking for her... when I go to college, as if she will call out my name.

Sadly, I realize that I had hurt her so badly that even when she was hurt and depressed, she didn't call me once Bhargu. I don't want to introspect anymore, I know that I am guilty and there is no way I can do anything now," Prabir said sardonically.

Bhargavi had a pleasant smile on her face, with a deathly treacherous calm. Prabir studied her stoic profile carefully as she began to speak a bit rudely," I am afraid that you regard blaming your own self for everything as the paramount virtue.

Let me just boil down to some known points for you, even if you consider me to be the most crazy bitch in this Universe.

When it comes to Sarvesh, you consider him to be a kid and what happened way back as...an accident. He is in no way responsible for his step sister Shivani's death and he shouldn't spent his life in penance and remorse. You want him to move on and enjoy his life.

But when it comes to YOU, it's not okay to choose your own happiness over your feelings of guilt?

I don't give a damn if you disapprove, but here's a piece of advice for you.

Bury the fuc**** past.

You don't have a modicum of respect for me Prabir. You are so preposterous.

You don't want to get married that's fine...I'll never ask you to but I won't be sitting and listening to your rantings about Keya." Bhargavi slammed the table with her wrists making everyone's eyes turn towards her and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Prabir hastily followed her. When they were out, Bhargavi pulled out the ring and threw it at Prabir's face with great force. He sucked the blood on his upper lip after the ring crash landed on his lips.

She was not upset about Prabir opening up to her. However, her mood was ruined, would have been an understatement. This was the first evening when they had spent time together, it was like an official date but all Prabir did was ramble about Keya which served the purpose of riling her up to such an extent that she would have ended up in a brazen act of violence had she been there in the cafeteria any longer.

Prabir took some time, searching for the ring on the street while Bhargavi had already walked up to a distance.

It started to drizzle lightly, and Prabir quickly ran to her apologizing,
" Bhargu. I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She completely ignored him and kept on walking.

Big drops of rain started to fall and the rain grew heavier. "I'll get the car. Please Bhargu don't get wet in the rain. Walk back to the cafeteria," Prabir mumbled but was paid no heed.

He drove the car close to Bhargavi, but she refused to get in. " Great isn't it? That big Guy up there, is always on your side.

I am not getting in the car," she roared.

"Please. Bhargu. You can punish me later, now get in the car, I beg you. We need to go home, it's getting late " Prabir pleaded.

"Nope! I don't have a home. Leave me alone. Don't worry about me," she replied bitterly.

"Bhargu. If you love me, please get in the car," Prabir said almost in tears. She silently opened the door and sank down on the shotgun seat beside Prabir.

Prabir didn't make any attempts to hide his tears and delicately caressed her face whispering," Bhargu.Never ask me to leave you alone and not to worry about you. I love you." His voice was broken and he choked on his tears.

Bhargavi wiped his tears, and kissed him softly all over his face. She placed tiny soft feathery kisses on the tip of his nose, forehead, eyelids, and especially the corner of his eyes,as if trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Give me my ring back," Bhargavi beamed when Prabir had calmed down. He swiftly took the ring from his wallet and placed it on her finger.

Then he started the engine and Bhargavi whispered softly," Take me home Prabu." His luminous eyes lit up  as Bhargavi with a thoughtful smile ran her fingers in his hair.

"I am sorry for what I did Prabu. I overreacted.

When...we started going back to college after Keya passed away, everyone gave me weird stares and when I tried to approach them, they gave me a scared look in return and ran away in the opposite direction as if I were some fugitive. The only friend I had, ignored me like I never existed.

I felt left out when, everyone seemed to be involved in a discussion, while I sat quietly in a distant corner with no one to talk to.

I never had many friends, being left out isn't a feeling that should bother me however, it does bother me Prabir.  I have seen the kind of friendship you enjoy with Vishwesh, Sachin, Sarvesh, Rakesh and Abhijit and I crave for such strong bondings.

I had bottled up these emotions for long and it all resurfaced when you...started to blame yourself .

People think I am a green-eyed monster who made up a crafty manuever to get her out of my way, because she loved you, " she mumbled.

"Why din't you tell me all this before Bhargu?" Prabir enquired quietly.

"When the truth is known, this attitude of people towards me would go up in smoke, I assumed and didn't want to make a fuss about it.

And then it hasn't been even a month since she passed away.

I entertained a belief that normalcy will return in my life though sadly that's not the case yet," Bhargavi said dismally.

When they reached the back gates of the Banerjee residence, Prabir grabbed Bhargavi's wrist and swiftly pulled off his t-shirt and put it on Bhargavi's wet and clingy clothes.

"Why are you putting this on me now?" Bhargavi asked surprised and as realization dawned on her, she gaped at him and pulled his left ear.
" You were enjoying all this time weren't you? "

"Can't say I didn't. But I don't want anyone else to..." He swiftly pecked her lips," Take a bath and change quickly okay! Send me a text when you're done, I'll help with the bandage."

As they both walked in, Mayank quizzed,"You both went in a car then how is she dripping wet?"

Prabir placed his index finger on his lips gesturing him to be silent as Bhargavi slowly walked upstairs to Prabir's room. When she was out of earshot Prabir whispered," I messed it up man."

Mayank wondered what could have happened but didn't pester Prabir.

Fifteen minutes later, Prabir received a text from Bhargavi while he was working in the kitchen making the dinner. He raced upstairs, and softly knocked on the door. "Come in. Come in before I change my mind," Bhargavi chirped in mischievously.
He walked in with slow steps and helped her dry her hair with a towel.

She couldn't help ogling, silently admiring him. Her stomach was doing a flip flop. "Please put on a t-shirt or something, you are such a heartthrob...too much for my little heart to handle," she said shyly.

"I don't have incredible abs Bhargu. I am just an ordinary...average looking guy," Prabir smirked, happy with the compliment, as he started rolling over the bandage on her abdomen after having applied some antibiotic ointment.

"Ordinary? Average?

Nope!  You're so handsome and cute.

I thought you will enjoy pulling my legs, finding me so shamelessly ogling at you, as men usually have ego...towering to the heights of Burj Khalifa.

Big muscles scare me. As long as there's room for me to put my head, I'm all good," Bhargavi gleefully said and placed her head on his bare chest after he was done with a sterile gauge dressing.

"I felt like you were lost in your own thoughts and happened to be staring at me," Prabir said brusquely and dashed to his closet to grab some clothes. She held his wrist, fixing him with a pointed stare. "I am trying to kill my urge to embrace you and you are certainly not helping me," he mumbled sadly.

She took his arms and placed them around her waist, leaning forward to bask herself in a warm embrace. "Yeap! You can't hold me tight in your arms but there's no need to push me away," she mumbled softly.

"Bhargu.It's hard to hold me back when I have already seen a lot.

You had a cotton shirt on because the weather had been extremely humid and sweaty, but the sudden downpour gave your sky blue coloured shirt a transparent effect.

On top of that you were wearing a pair of skinny fit jeans," he teased her mercilessly, pulling her closer.

She blushed hard and tried to pull away from him. "I saw nothing baby. I swear. All my attention was focused on your lovely smile plus I was driving.

When we reached here, I noticed your bra straps were visible from the back and made you wear my t-shirt," Prabir said earnestly.

Bhargavi clinged closer to him. "I am both nervous and anxious... actually terrified when I hold you now. You are wiggly and fragile like a newly born baby with all these bruises and stitches," Prabir said morosely.

Author's note:

Yes! This is not a very eventful update but still, I guess it was necessary.

The protagonists are slowly inching closer to each other. It's inevitable that there's no squabble or childish banters.

Hope you enjoyed reading!!

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