The sound of machines beeping and buzzing stirred me from my sleep. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. I glared at the offending needle stuck in my arm fighting the urge to rip it out and make a run for it.

"I see you're finally awake."

I glanced over to the chair next to the window and saw Macy sitting there. My body froze over and I wondered for a minute if I was still asleep. "What are you doing here?"

"I read her letter." Tears filled Macy's eyes and she ripped her gaze from mine.

A lump rose in my throat nearly choking me but I closed my eyes and leveled my breathing. My chest burned and my ribs screamed in agony but my heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

"So, you know then."

"I do. I'm so sorry I never gave you the chance to explain."

I swallowed and glanced back at Macy. "How did you even know I was here?"

"Your friend came by today. Told me about the accident." 

A bit back the nasty comment I wanted to make. "So, you're here because of some misplaced guilt?" Macy lifted her eyes to mine and I knew what this visit was about. "Unbelievable. No one had anything to do with the accident! It was exactly that. An accident and I don't need your pity or guilt."

"That's not the only reason I came, Katelyn. I read Arlene's letter. She wanted me to talk to you."

Anger bubbled in my veins and my heart pounded in my chest sending spikes of pain into my ribs. "You didn't care about what she wanted yesterday!"

"Yesterday I didn't know my sister was dead." Macy shot back and I flinched. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this. Arlene and I haven't spoken in years and I never thought..."

"You never thought you wouldn't have a chance." I finish for her because even though I'm angry I can see how hard this is for her.

She didn't have to come here and apologize but she did. And I also learned something from both Macy and my mom. If you let anger drive you away from the people you love, you live a life with only regrets. I don't want that.

Macy nodded her head. "Yes. All I can think about now is the times she reached out to me and I shot her down. She tried to fix things but I didn't want to at that point. Now all I can do is live with the choices I made."

"I don't think she blamed you. I think she blamed herself."

"I know. She said as much in her letter but I never tried to see things from her point. Had I done that, I would have had my sister in my life?"

"There's no point in rehashing the past. We'll only drive ourselves crazy." I breathed out.

Macy sat back in her chair scrutinizing me with an impenetrable stare. We could go around and play the blame game but it wouldn't solve anything. And it wouldn't bring my mom back. She never wrote those letters to make any of us feel guilty, I knew that in my heart. I also knew that she would want me and Macy to get along.

"I want to try, Katelyn. If I couldn't with your mom, I want to try with you. If you'll have me that is."

"Okay," I started. "Why didn't you ever talk to her? Or accepted her apologies when she tried?"

Macy sighed. "Honestly, I can't even remember why. It always just felt like when Arlene left all the happiness left with her. I blamed her for that even if a part of me missed her like crazy. Eventually, it turned me into a bitter and hateful woman towards her."

Macy and I spent the next two hours talking in the hospital room. She didn't have any children and her husband died almost six years ago which left her alone. She told me about my mom when she was younger and I filled in the blanks from there. When Macy left I felt emotionally drained but lighter in a sense.

Then my mind drifted to Lucas. I didn't want his pity. The fog from this morning drifted and I realized that he might have been the one with misplaced guilt. Even if he didn't, I still couldn't just open up to him again. I did that once before and it broke my heart.

No matter what he said it didn't change the facts. He doesn't love me and I couldn't make the same mistakes my mom did. I couldn't be with someone who didn't love me because a piece of me would die each day until there was nothing left.

I sunk back into the pillows with clenched teeth and tears welling in my eyes. My mind was made up but it didn't make it any easier. I just couldn't let Lucas get that close to me again.

My eyes shut and I carefully rolled to my side. It wasn't long before I was asleep. When I woke again, I took a long-awaited shower and finally saw myself in the mirror for the first time. The left side of my face was bruised and swollen, my eye only halfway open. There were scratches all along my arms, neck, and face where the glass had cut into my skin. I looked like I went ten rounds with the champ, I felt like I was run over by a train.

I've already been told several times that I was lucky, that I could have died. If not for the tree, I most likely would have died. It was an odd feeling, being close to death and realizing that it terrified you. I wanted to live.

I stayed in the hospital for three days. After the second day, I asked to keep Lucas out. The last thing I needed, was his guilt. He didn't love me and I wasn't going to force him. That didn't mean that I stopped loving him, which was why it was so hard to be around him.

I knew I agreed to stay in Silver Point until the house was finished but, I didn't have to be around Lucas to do that. Monica and Chloe visited every day, and though I could see they had questions they, thankfully, refrained from asking them.

Today was the day they discharged me and I was sitting on the bed with all my bags packed, waiting for Michael. There was a knock at the door and my eyes flew up to see Lucas standing in the doorway. My heart stuttered, skipped, and tripped, all at once and the air lodged in my throat.

I didn't think it would be even more painful to see him now but it was. Honestly,  I didn't think I'd be seeing him at all. And yet my starved eyes just couldn't help themself. They gorged themselves on his toned body, dark eyes and dark hair that I knew were as soft as they looked. I wanted to run my hands though his hair, trace his lips one last time to commit them to memory.

Lucas moved further into the room, causing me to back up slightly. I wanted to jump into his arms, tell him that what he was offering was enough. And yet I knew it wasn't. I had to guard my heart against him because he's the only one who could break it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, proud that my voice was even and strong although it was the last thing I was feeling.

"You're avoiding me."

Yeah, no duh. I rolled my eyes and turned back to my suitcase, effectively dismissing Lucas. Not that he seemed to take the hint because I could still feel his stare drilling into the back of my head.

"You can ignore me, you can avoid me. Hell, you can even talk to everyone in my family but me." His tone softened as he gripped my shoulders and turned me to face him. "But I'm not going to stop."

His hands burned straight through my shirt and everything in me seemed to scream for his touch. This was utter torture.

I backed away from his touch even as it took all the strenght I had. "Why are you doing this? We've had this conversation before. It's over."

Pain sliced through my chest, but I ignored it. His rejection hurt. His being here hurt. But what hurt most was convincing myself that he would never be mine.

"I almost lost you. And it made me realize just how much I care about you. I'm not letting you get away." With that, he turned and left the room.

Completely befuddled, I sank into the chair next to the hospital bed. Off balance and shaken, I mulled over his words in my head until Michael came to pick me up.

I didn't say much on the drive to Chloe's cottage and it wouldn't take long for my overprotective brother to start butting in. It's what he did.

"You've been uncharacteristically quiet. What's on your mind?" Michael asked as he parked the car in the driveway.

"I was wondering what is the ultimate comfort food. I'm stuck between Cheerios and icecream."

Michael seemed to ponder before answering. "Just mix your Cheerios with icecream. Who's gonna stop you?"

I nodded my head. "Fair point. Although that would be a first. Should we try it out now?"

He scrunched up his nose and shook his head. "I said you should try it. I never volunteered as tribute."

Laughing I got out of the car and followed Michael into the cottage. By the time we made it inside my ribs were screaming in agony and all I wanted to do was sleep it off.

The next morning, I found Chloe and Michael sitting at the kitchen table. Chloe had a red box wrapped with a black bow in front of her and Michael was scowling at the thing as if it stole his breakfast.

Their heads snapped up the minute I walked in and a grin spread across Chloe's face. They both greeted me and Michael went back to scowling at the box.

"It's for you," Chloe said pushing the box in my direction.

"Who sent it?" I asked even though I had a pretty good idea of who sent it.

"No name on the box. There is a card with your name on it. Come on! Open it, I'm dying to know what's inside."

Michael huffed. "If he thinks presents are going to help, he doesn't know Kit at all."

I rolled my eyes at Michael and walked towards the box before pulling the bow off. After that, I pulled off the lid, opened it and pulled out the first item. It was a figurine of a mechanical bull. Chloe burst out laughing and I felt my lips twitch in amusement. Clearly, Lucas hadn't given up yet.

"What is it?" Michael asked trying to snatch the figurine from my hands.

I was faster, however, and pulled my arm back at the last second.

"Oh what else is in the box?" Chloe asked her amusement clear in her voice and eyes.

I pulled out the second item which was a first aid box with a rusty nail tapped to the lid.

"Okay, now that makes zero sense." Michael said as Chloe and I shared a look. "Oh come on! You're not even going to tell me?"

"Nope." I said before digging into the box again.

There was a small plastic spider that had me blushing all shades of red. A store bought brownie that had Michael scratching his head. There were other trinkets in the box that stirred my memories of my time with Lucas as I'm sure the bastard knew well enough what he was doing. The wall I built around myself started chipping away.

I didn't want him to do this. I didn't want him to fight for us if we were only ever going to be what we were. And even then it didn't matter. Hope still bloomed.

I threw everything back in the box before closing the lid. Michael and Chloe shared a look but thankfully refrained from saying anything.

"I should get dressed." I said before turning and marching to my room. I hadn't made it three steps before I felt tears pricking at my eyes.