Alejo

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I didn't know what to say or do. Had no idea what Morana was thinking. But the time had come for us to talk more, for her to get all her questions answered, and for us to clearly establish a line between us.

"Morana, I..." I started, feeling I should be the one to talk first. But she interrupted me.

"I have a question. And I want you to answer with just a yes or a no. I don't want any flowery words or an ambiguous answer. Just a simple yes or no," she said and pierced me with her eyes.

"Okay," I nodded while my stomach started to ache.

"Do you love me?"

Her question echoed in the hallway, in the entire apartment. It bounced off the walls and at me. But at the same time, it also made everything else freeze. The air became dense and hard to breathe. The ceiling lamp shone right at me, made me warm and sweaty. The clock in the living room ticked so loudly it screamed in my ears.

I couldn't find any words.

"Do you love me? Yes or no?" she repeated the question while narrowing her eyes on me.

I licked my lips and tried to create saliva with my tongue, but my mouth remained as dry as sand.

"You can't ask me that," I finally said.

"I believe I just did, so obviously I can." Her voice had gotten an edge to it and her jaw looked tense.

"I can't answer it," I said instead, and her eyes felt even more piercing.

"Why not?"

"Because... Because it doesn't matter. Because that won't change the fact that you're not my mate." Slowly my head started to work again and, in all honesty, her question felt unfair. What did it really matter? The reality was that we weren't meant for each other, so whatever we felt counted for little.

"It matters to me," she answered. "I need to know."

I shook my head. "Why? What difference does it make?"

She didn't answer, but gave me one last hard look before she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, the hardness was gone and even a soft smile appeared on her lips. But that smile only made her look sad.

"Okay. That's what I thought. Well, I guess it wasn't a good idea for us to get involved anyway. The whole mate business aside. Relationships rarely last."

She turned as if to head to her room. I quickly caught her arm to stop her. I didn't like the way she looked or the tone she'd spoken with. She just seemed so sad, and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to wrap her up in a warm blanket, feed her hot chocolate and cake, put on a movie that would make her laugh or just listen to her talk about herself.

The answer to her question was yes. I definitely loved her. But I couldn't tell her that. Just the idea of her finding her mate one day broke me. Admitting to her I loved her and then have her find her mate would destroy me.

"Morana, please, just talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking," I begged her.

Her gaze landed on me again and it seemed to evaluate me, consider how much I deserved to know.

"If I understood what you told me about the mate thing, it's basically love at first sight, right?" she finally said.

"Right."

"But it's magic involved in it. So basically it's magical love at first sight. Yes, the person is supposed to be perfect for you, but you don't really have a choice in falling in love. Magic forces you to fall in love at first sight, right?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"So wouldn't a love that has grown without that force be worth more? Wouldn't that love be something to fight for? Well, since you won't even give me a yes or a no, it's obvious you don't think so."

I was again at a loss for what to say, but I knew one part of what she had said definitely wasn't true. I wanted to fight for her. The problem was that when the time came for it, would she fight for me? Would she reject her mate for me?

I felt fairly certain I would reject my mate for her, but I knew better what that entailed. She hadn't grown up knowing about this and there was no way she could have come to an informed decision about it that quickly. What she said was rash. She had no idea about the actual complexity of a mate and the mate bond.

But I didn't tell her any of that. I couldn't tell her because I desperately needed to protect myself from future pains.

"Now what then?" I asked her instead.

"We'll be friends, like before. That's still fine, right?" she said and gave me that sad smile again.

"Yeah, that's fine. Friends," I answered and tried to smile as well. It felt stiff and fake.

"Well then, I want to shower and then I want to know more about what to expect tonight when meeting Rick and Maya."

I nodded and slowly let go of her arm. She smiled again and that time it almost hid the pain underneath.

She turned to enter her bedroom again, but before she got inside, a question I knew was unfair of me to ask escaped my lips.

"Do you love me?"

She stopped, but she didn't turn back to look at me.

"Do you really expect me to answer that?"

"No," I mumbled. "I'm sorry."

She went into her room and came out a moment later, carrying clean clothes. She headed to the bathroom, but before she closed the door, she said:

"I'm so tired of saying yes and receive a no as an answer."

Then the door shut, and I had never felt as far away from her as I did in that moment.