Morana

-----

The week after Halloween, I spent in the apartment with Alejo. We didn't leave it at all, except for the incident with the fire alarm. It became a nice little bubble that we created together. When we needed food, we ordered delivery. We spent the days practicing magic, watching movies, reading, or just being in each other's company. We were isolated from everything else.

A week I let myself live in that blissful fantasy bubble before I gathered my courage to meet reality.

I had let my phone run out of battery and not bothered charging it. So the first thing I did was to plug it in and wait for some of the battery to return.

When it was at twenty percent, I turned it on.

Missed calls and text messages came up one after another. All of them, of course, related to work. The latest text message was from my boss and was already four days old. The message was simple and clear.

You're fired. Pick up your last paycheck and clean your locker.

I couldn't claim to be surprised. What did surprise me, though, was that I didn't feel any worry or panic over it. To some extent, I felt relief. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep on working there anyway. I wouldn't have been able to face Dereck day after day. And the issue of money didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Even without any, it would be alright because at least I wasn't alone.

As I went back through the messages, I noticed I hadn't gotten a single one from Dereck. That did surprise me. I had expected him to at least have sent something. But it also was a relief to not have gotten any.

"What you doing?" Alejo asked.

He stood leaning against the doorframe into my room. He had just showered so his hair was wet and he only wore a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants. His chest was bare.

I felt like there had been a clear shift in our relationship since Halloween, but it was hard to really pinpoint it. Most things were exactly the same. We were relaxed and had fun together. We could talk easily and openly. But yet there was as if another barrier between us had broken.

As he stood there, I finally realized what that barrier was. We had acted much more comfortable around each other physically as well. Before, we would have sat next to each other on the couch when watching a movie. But during this week it hadn't felt odd at all to lay my head on his shoulder and have him have an arm around me. Nor him lay down with his head in my lap. It had all felt so natural, so secure and safe, that I hadn't even reflected on it.

Him standing before me with his chest bare though, felt like yet another barrier broken, but that was a barrier I wasn't sure I wanted gone.

He was a friend. That was all. He wasn't interested in me as something more than a friend. But it was hard to not let my fantasy turn in a direction that was more than just friendly.

"I've been fired," I blurted out to stop my own thoughts from taking off too much.

His expression immediately turned to concern, and he walked over to sit on the bed next to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked and placed a hand on my cheek for comfort.

I wanted to extend my hands and feel his chest. His skin looked so smooth and he had a line of hair that went down and to below the edge of the pants. I wanted to trace my fingers down that line. Down. Down. Down.

I forced my eyes to focus on his face. To some extent, my own thoughts surprised me a lot, though. No matter what type of assault I had been subjected to in the past, my reaction had often stayed the same. I would bottle everything up and avoid people until my emotions from it had settled. Until it had healed from a fresh wound to a scar. 

But I hadn't felt the need to hide the pain from Alejo even for one second. My instinct had even been to call him, ask him for help. 

I couldn't remember the last time I had ever asked anyone for help like that. 

He had been safety that night. Safety and security and trust. I hadn't even had to tell him what had happened for him to know and believe me. For him to help me and understand what I needed. 

He was the first and only person to ever show me that type of unwavering support and care. Not even the adults I had trusted as a child had ever shown me that. 

"It's not like I didn't expect it," I answered his question and shrugged. "And I also wouldn't have wanted to continue to work there anyway."

He nodded and let his hand fall.

"Do you need any help regarding it? Like finding a new job or anything?" he asked next.

I looked back down at the message.

Pick up your last paycheck and clean your locker.

That would require me to go in, would mean I would risk seeing Dereck. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to never have to see him again.

"I need to get my paycheck and a couple of things from my locker," I answered and looked up at Alejo. He nodded again.

"I'll do it for you." He leaned in and brushed his lips smoothly against my temple.

Both his words and action made me feel all warm. I tried to convince myself it was because it felt nice being taken care of. That it felt nice to have someone to rely on. But a tingling sensation in me told of a very different reason.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. I wanted so much more than that. And the desire was becoming harder and harder to resist. I could only hope he felt something similar so that the day my self-control broke, it wouldn't end our friendship.