Morana

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We were so close. Of course, we had been close before, the amount of hugs we had shared was steadily increasing. But that closeness was different compared to how close we were now.

His eyes had been gentle the whole time, but slowly they changed to something else. To something that made me full of anticipation.

Friends, he had said. Like siblings, he had claimed.

No friend or sibling would look at the other the way he looked at me.

His eyes fell a bit, landed on my lips. I followed and looked down at his. They looked so perfect and I wanted to taste them. I wanted to feel them pressed to mine, and I wanted to feel them kissing all over my body.

Just as I decided to make my thoughts into action, my stomach rumbled. Why? Why did it have to pick that precise moment?

Alejo straightened himself up a bit and the hand he had on my cheek fell. He looked away and cleared his throat and the tension between us shifted to being awkward instead.

"We should get something to eat. I'm also starving," he said and turned back to me. He smiled and seemed completely at ease. The desire I had seen in his eyes was gone and the fact that it had disappeared so quickly made me wonder if it had even ever been there at all.

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled and got up. I could feel my cheeks turn warmer and warmer as doubt swarmed me. Had I maybe misunderstood completely? Had I just imagined the look in his eyes? That honestly seemed more probable than that he actually would have wanted to kiss me.

I definitely had to get my crush in order. If I had ended up kissing him, that would have been bad. It would have been so embarrassing to have him reject me, and it would have made everything awkward.

No, it wouldn't have made everything awkward, it would have broken me. I wasn't sure why really, but the thought of him rejecting me left me feeling broken. And it was odd. I had already slowly been making peace with just being his friend and started feeling content with that. So why did that single thought make me feel shattered all over again?

"Morana," he said, and I turned back to him. Forced a smile on my lips, but that made him frown and look worried. "Are you sure there's nothing else you want to talk about?"

I shook my head vigorously. "No, all is good! Is there any café nearby that we can eat at?"

I had done my best to sound cheerful, but my voice made me cringe internally. It sounded completely fake, a bit ridiculous even. But thankfully, Alejo seemed to accept that I didn't want to talk about what bothered me.

We went to a café which was only about a block away from the apartment. As we ate, all remaining tension dissolved. We got started on talking about movies and music and how it was all very different now from when we had grown up. It was one of those things that felt so amazing to talk to Alejo about. With any normal person, I would have to be careful so I didn't say anything which gave away my actual age, but that wasn't necessary with him since he was even older than me.

By the time we were done eating, we had made a list of a ton of movies we had to see together, and that was what we spent the rest of the day doing. We were on the couch with mountains of snacks we had bought before returning home on the table. We watched, we ate, we talked, and we laughed. The miserable state I had been in during the night felt like it had happened ages ago.

When I woke up the next day, I felt well-rested and in a good mood. But as soon as I got into work, some guilt returned.

I hadn't thought about how I had treated Dereck, and, although he had been a bit of an ass, I had definitely been a bigger ass in return.

It came as no surprise when he didn't even look my way when I entered the staffroom.

"Hey Dereck," I said and approached him. He gave me a quick glance and a nod before slamming his locker shut, obviously in a hurry to get out of there.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said, so he wouldn't have time to run away. He paused and looked expectantly at me. I took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that the other day. I know you were just concerned. I was just very tired and upset about a lot of other things, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

His expression eased up and his mouth went from a straight line to a smile. "It's alright. Or like, wasn't exactly fun to be yelled at like that. But thank you for apologizing. Want to talk about what's wrong?"

I gave him a smile and shook my head. "No need. It's all better now."

His smile seemed to fall a little again, but that could have simply been my imagination because when he talked, he sounded cheerful. "That's great. Do you feel more up for doing stuff today? Want to catch a movie or something after work?"

"I'm sorry, I can't. I got plans," I answered. Right before bed, I had asked Alejo for another lesson in magic that day. Somehow that all seemed extra important after what had happened. Partly because I wanted to know more about those voices and the black thread, but also because I felt certain there were magical ways me and Alejo could use to communicate, and if we had that, then I should be able to contact him more directly if he had to suddenly be gone again.

"With Alejo?" Dereck asked and his voice got a bitter edge to it.

"Yeah," I just answered, and he didn't press the topic further, though for the rest of the day his mood seemed a little off and there was a growing tension between us.