Morana

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"Are you okay?"

Alejo's voice brought me out of my weird mix of emotions. He kneeled on the floor in front of me and placed his palm on my forehead as I looked at him. His eyes showed the worry he felt.

"I... I'm okay," I answered, though truthfully, I definitely wasn't. What had that been? Was that... normal? It couldn't be. Alejo had himself said something was off about my magic and whatever that black thread was had to be it. But what could it be?

"You're not," he said and then placed two fingers on my wrist, checking my pulse. As soon as I realized what he was doing, I pulled my hand away from him, but he had clearly had enough time to feel how fast my heart was beating.

"It was just intense," I lied.

The best way I had to get answers would have been to tell Alejo the truth. If he didn't know what it could be, he would know where to look for the answer. But I didn't want him to know. That thread had felt so dark, so... It had really been filled with death and I was afraid of his reaction if I told him. Afraid he would run as far away from me as possible.

"Did you manage to sense your magic?" he asked and seemed to buy my lie.

I nodded and said, "It was like a thread of pure energy."

He nodded back. "That sounds about right."

That answer confirmed it for me. If that black thread had been something which wasn't too unusual to experience, he would have said something then and there. But as he didn't, it wasn't. Instead, it was an indication of how seriously messed up I was.

"You seem much less tired today and it went much faster," he commented on and smiled. "That's really good. Honestly, you seem to be doing better than I expected."

"What does that mean?" I asked in a snappy tone, feeling my nerves increasing.

"Probably that whoever your parents were, at least one of them was a powerful witch and that you are too. Should mean that you'll learn quickly."

His smile held encouragement and a certain level of pride, but I couldn't feel that. His words got me thinking of the black thread again. Could it be because of that one that I was powerful? Had someone used some dark magic or something on me when I had been an infant? Was that why my parents had left me?

"Are you sure you're alright?" Alejo asked. His smile faded, and a frown appeared.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, but my voice sounded hollow.

"You look very pale. I'll make some more tea, alright?"

I just nodded.

After having finished another cup of tea, Alejo ushered me to bed. He seemed worried, but also certain I had simply exhausted myself too much. I was thankful for the assumption and for being pushed to go to bed. I wouldn't have known what to talk to him about anyway and I hoped some proper sleep would stabilize my emotions.

I was worried I wouldn't fall asleep that easily though. That my thoughts would end up crowding my brain too much. But that worry proved to be for nothing. Most likely because the meditation had taken more energy than I had thought, I fell asleep almost instantly.

But it wasn't a good sleep.

I was back inside myself, either actually or it was just a dream. It was impossible to tell which. I saw my thread of magic again and I saw the black thread. I tried to pull out, run away from it, but I was stuck. Since I couldn't run, I tried to close my eyes, just shut it out. But that as well was impossible.

As I was forced to stay with and look at the thread, it started to grow. Or not really. It felt like it grew, but actually it was more like shadows spilled out of it. The shadows went everywhere and made all around me dark.

Then came the voices. Those slithering voices. Those voices that should have sounded creepy, but felt familiar and comforting.

"Fear us not," they said over and over again. It was like a lullaby, rhythmic and calming.

But then it became more intense. They got louder and louder, but still saying the same thing over and over. It almost felt like they tried to break a wall with their voices and for each time they failed, the volume grew stronger.

"Morana!" they shouted, and I jolted awake.

My heart was pounding again, and I was covered in cold sweat. I was certain I was scared, but as I properly woke up, I realized that I wasn't. Instead, the dream had made me feel excited.

As soon as I realized that, the excitement disappeared and then I became afraid. Those voices had to somehow belong or be related to the black thread and the fact that I had felt excited by the dream, by hearing them again, had me scared. They had been telling me to not fear them, but that was what I did. I wanted them gone, and I wanted that black thread gone with them. I didn't want to be different. I didn't want to have darkness within me. And I definitely didn't want to in any way be happy about the presence of those voices, even if it was just in a dream.

I tried to forget about it all. Tried to go back to sleep. But it was useless. I could still hear their voices in my mind, repeating that one sentence and then screaming my name.

I tried telling myself that it had just been a dream. Nothing was wrong with me and those voices were probably just my brain trying to make sense of everything that was happening.

But somehow I knew that wasn't the case. Somehow, I knew the voices were very real and that they wanted something from me.

And as much as I wanted to feel scared, I only did because, truthfully, I wasn't scared. I was comforted by the idea of them always being with me so I would never have to feel lonely again.