You are reading a “The First Three” review for AngelaGamayon's My Ex-Husband is my New Boss.

The first three parts of the story covered here are Prologue, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

PROLOGUE

* This part of the story is too brief. It could pass as a blurb or teaser. But in all fairness, nagampanan nito kung ano ang function ng Prologue sa isang nobela, so great job!

As a refresher, ayon sa Writing 101: How To Write A Prologue ng Masterclass website, ito ang kahulugan ng isang Prologue:

"A prologue is a piece of writing found at the beginning of a literary work, before the first chapter and separate from the main story. The definition of prologue introduce important information—such as background details, or characters—that have some connection to the main story, but whose relevance is not immediately obvious."

Nagsilbing pahapyaw ang nilalaman nito sa posibleng mangyari sa main plot ng kwento, pero kung babasahin ang Chapter 1, hindi mo siya mapagkokonekta kaagad. This introduces us to the obvious conflict that we will encounter later on in the story, yet hindi pa natin ma-figure out kung ano ang halaga (relevance) nito sa kabuuan ng kwento (e.g. Ano ang masama kung maging boss ni Alex si Jake? Ano ang implikasyon nito? Obvious sa title na ex-husband niya si Jake tapos naging boss niya, pero paano ito makakaapekto sa plot? Ano ang main story at paano makokonekta itong Prologue doon?)

Ang kailangan lang ng improvement dito ay ang technicalities. Madali naman mauunawaan ng readers ang nakasulat dito. Hindi masakit sa ulo intindihin kapag binasa at na-express ang complete thought kahit may mali sa grammar, formatting, capitalization at punctuations, gayunpaman, mas prone sa misinterpretation kung hindi aayusin ang mga ito.

Isa sa mga dapat ayusin ang paggamit ng ng/nang tulad sa parteng ito:

++ “O MY GOD!!!” bulalas ko ng makita kung sino ang aming boss.

++ Correction:

Option #1: “Oh, my God!!!” bulalas ko nang makita kung sino ang aming boss.

Option #2: “OH, MY GOD!” bulalas ko nang makita kung sino ang aming boss.

Ito naman ang palya pagdating sa formatting:

++ “Is that clear?”- sir bryan,tumingin ako sa kanya at tumango.

++ Correction:

“Is that clear?” ani Sir Bryan.

Tumingin ako sa kanya at tumango.

CHAPTER 1

* In this chapter, we encounter the same issues we saw in the prologue of this story. Kailangan ng improvement sa technicalities (capitalization, punctuation marks, etc.)

*Another concern here is that, if we want to be published authors, we should not write in an informal style. Nasabi kong informal ang istilo ng pagsusulat ng author dahil sa mga ito:

++ “Anak….Kasi-----”- mom

++ “Ikakasal kana”-dad

++ Nagulat sila ng tumawa ako ng malakas.

“Hahahahahahahaha Nice joke dad hahahaha”

This reminds me of how writers used to write during the early years of Wattpad (2010-2012), na more on informal style. Like a text message with emojis and shortcuts.

During editing, ito iyong mga parte ng manuscript na kailangan natin i-revise, i-formal style. At kung ayaw natin ng hassle na ganito during editing, sa draft pa lang, i-aim na nating isulat in formal style ang nobela natin.

Here’s the (possible) corrections for the errors stated above:

++ “Anak… Kasi… ”pag-aalinlangan ni Mom.

++ “Ikakasal ka na,” prangkahang singit ni Dad.

++ Nagulat sila nglang tumawa ako nang malakas.

“Nice joke, Dad!”

At hindi pa rin ako tumigil sa katatawa.

* More on Show and not tell din ang approach ng author pagdating sa pagpapakilala sa characters niya, that’s why I depended on the showing aspect (the way the character talk and behave).

[ Warning: Spoilers Ahead!]

Here’s my first impressions:

Ø  Alexandra - Sa chapter na ito, maganda rin ang kickstart pagdating sa lead female character (Alex). The author did not give away too much about her character, which can make the readers become interested to read more chapters.

Sa chapter na ito, she seems like a very carefree person. Malapit siya sa family niya at kadalasan, pakikipagbiruan ang way of communicating sa kanila (kaya posibleng palabiro siyang tao) which is shown by the discussion they had when her parents said she’s engaged to be married.

If my assessment about her personality is right, then the way she reacted about the fixed marriage is understandable. Even her slightly violent reaction upon the realization na seryosong naka-arranged marriage siya, so far it seems natural to me. Okay din ang takbo ng story nang sunod-sunod na magtanong si Alex tungkol sa set-up na ito. She’s lowkey questioning it and, I am impressed how she took it calmly that I expected (as a reader), pero alam nating tutol siya sa kasal dahil may balak siyang kilalanin ang pakakasalan niya para malaman kung paano ito mapalalayo sa kanya.

Ø  Mom – Alex’ mom was established as someone who is very motherly and submissive. Noong sinasabi na nila kay Alex ang tungkol sa arranged marriage, mababasa mo sa tono niya sa dialogues na very hesitant siya, na aware siya na may mali sa sasabihin niya at magkakaroon ng violent reaction si Alex kaya si Dad na ang nakapagsabi kay Alex ng tungkol sa kasal.

Ø  Dad – Alex’ Dad sounds like a very assertive person, very devoid of emotional quotient because he was nonchalant about telling his daughter she’s arranged to be married. Ibinalita niya ang bagay na iyo na para bang hindi siya affected at wala siyang pakialam (o hindi natatakot) sa magiging reaksyon ni Alex. This character has a potential to be the lead female’s nemesis or to be one of the supporting villains in the story.

Ø  Ally – Mahirap i-assess ang character niya sa chapter na ito dahil wala siya masyadong dialogue. But she seemed to take after their father, nonchalant… and she’s possibly the family’s breadwinner that’s why the father cannot risk to lose his investment by marrying her off to someone else. So he chose Alex for the arranged marriage.

I hope this list of first impressions will help the author determine kung naging effective ang pagsho-show niya sa personality ng characters. Kung effective na naipahiwatig niya sa readers ang gusto niyang maging first impression ng mga ito sa nabanggit na characters.

CHAPTER 2

* We are introduced to Jake in this chapter by having a glimpse of his own point-of-view (pov).

Jake sounded self-assured and entitled, bragging early on na “napakakuripot” niya kung hindi naipaimbestigahan ang babaeng pakakasalan niya.

Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na questionable kung CEO ang isang tao sa edad na kasingbata ng 24. Given that Jake lives in the U.S. and seemed to be a part of a well-off family, posible siyang maging CEO. He can inherit a company to be an instant CEO. What’s questionable though is being termed a tycoon, (self-proclaimed by Jake pala).

As per thesaurus:

(https://www.dictionary.com/browse/tycoon)

A tycoon is "a person of great wealth, influence, or power; magnate."

At 24 years old, how did Jake manage to achieve it? Did he become instant influential? At what age did he start getting involved with business? How did he achieve the tycoon status at the age of 24? How long did it take him? This is important to consider because this is his professional background. This will be one of the things that will mold his characterization and should be seen in the way he speaks, in the way he behaves, and the way he makes and rationalize his decisions in the story.

At nabanggit ko ang koneksyon ng characterization sa professional background ng isang karakter dahil ito ang concerning sa pov ni Jake.

++ “No mom, magpapakasal ako.” sabi ko. Ayaw kong nalulungkot ang mom ko kaya papayag nako.

Given Jake’s business tycoon status, medyo questionable that he’s leaning on emotional reasoning on why he agreed with the arranged marriage. Posible naman ito, lalo na at love story ang tema ng kwento, pero hindi masyado na-justify sa chapter na ito kung bakit na-set aside ang decision-making skills niya as a tycoon at mas pinili ang emotional basis (o kung sinet aside ba talaga). Naghanap sana siya ng rational na pwedeng idahilan kung bakit pumayag siyang maabala para lang sa pagpapakasal na ito. But who knows? Baka ma-elaborate pa ang mga tunay na reason sa pagpayag niyang magpakasal sa susunod na chapters. After all, pina-background check na niya si Alex. Maybe, he knows he can get something (benefit) out of this arranged marriage. I am giving his characterization the benefit of a doubt for now.

+ Sa chapter na ito, very reasonable din ang characterization ng nanay ni Jake. For some reason, pinapakita sa story na may in-control ang mga magulang ni Jake pagdating sa arranged marriage na ito. Ibig sabihin, sila lang ang may karapatang magdecide kung itutuloy o hindi. At kahit sa chapter na ito, hindi pa rin nare-reveal kung para saan ang arranged marriage, kung bakit naisip itong gawin ng mga magulang nila Jake at Alex sa isa’t isa.

*Back to Alex (since pov niya ang sunod na mababasa pagkatapos ng pahapyaw kay Jake).

In her pov, tatlong araw na ang nakalilipas mula nang malaman niya ang tungkol sa arranged marriage. In this chapter, wala pa rin tayong insight kung ano ang normal lifestyle niya—kung nag-aaral ba siya o may work o may hobbies. Everyone (except Ally who is not mentioned in this scene) is available to visit the Andersons’ residence.

This chapter ended with a cliffhanger-- na dumating na sa bahay si Jake at ang nanay nito, at ‘gwapo’ ang first impression ni Alex dito.

***

SUMMARY:

Overall, My Ex-Husband Is My New Boss...

- has a consistent plot. So far, magkakakonekta ang kaganapan sa bawat chapter, nakasunod sa in-establish na plot na ipinagkasundo ng mga magulang ikasal ang lead characters.

- is an easy-read. Due to its informal writing style, mabilis basahin at direct-to-the-point ang atake ng istorya, kaya madaling basahin.

- is a page turner. Tamang-tama ang cut ng scenes sa bawat chapter. The author doesn’t give away too much about the characters and the plot of the story which can make a reader grow curious and want to know more.

***

CONCLUSION:

I hope we all learned the following from this review:

* Familiar story plots/tropes still works.

* If we aim for publishing opportunities, we must write in a formal style. Mas padadaliin din nito ang pag-e-edit natin.

* Although it helps to omit information about the plot or the characters to keep the readers curious, it is more effective to elaborate about them throughout the story so that the readers can understand them better. Mas madali kasing bitawan ang isang libro kung hindi maka-connect ang reader sa istorya at karakter nito. Although, I had first impressions about the characters, I still doubt that I know them already because they remain vague throughout the first three chapters. Mahirap ma-attach sa mga karakter dahil hindi masyadong elaborated kung anong klase ng tao sila (na dapat ay na-introduce ng maayos sa first two chapters pa lang), kung ano ang pinanghahawakan nilang mga prinsipyo, kung sino sila bago nangyari ang conflict (the arranged marriage) sa kwento.

***

LEARN FROM THE AUTHOR:

- Carefully choose one or two small detail to write vaguely or omit so readers would be thrilled to read the next chapter and figure it out.

***

Had some realizations about writing that is not mentioned on my list? Have questions?

Comment here!

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