The first three parts of this story that we are going to review are Simula, Kabanata 1, and Kabanata 2.
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SIMULA

• 'Yong events sa Simula ay nangyari on the same day or the day before Kabanata 1. In fact, magkarugtong lang ang mga pangyayari sa Simula at Kabanata 1.

Spoiler:

Ang Simula ay tungkol sa pagrescue ng Cosmos sa nakidnap ng Amherst na kanilang miyembro-si Night. Sa kalagitnaan ng pag rescue kay Night, nakigulo ang grupo ng Devaughn na may intensyong kunin din si Night. Hindi ito nagtagumpay dahil tila nagpaubaya ang mga ito sa Cosmos. Ang Kabanata 1 ay tungkol sa pagpapagaling ng Cosmos mula sa natamong mga injury sa ginawang pag rescue kay Night. Pinagusapan/pinagtalunan din nila ang mga nangyari sa rescue. May naiisip ding plano si Mirae (ang bidang babae) para sa mga Devaughne- specifically, Vynz Devaughne.
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• I wonder bakit hindi na lang pinag-isa o 'matic Kabanata 1 ang Simula ng kwento. The appeal of Simula to me is that it was supposed to be the Prologue of the story.

The role of a Prologue is to provide an insight on what the story will be all about while, not being a direct part of the main story.

Hindi ito ang mismong kwento pero importanteng kaganapan siya na nangyari kaya nagkaroon ng kwento ang mga bida.

Posible rin na sneak peek ang Prologue ng climax ng kwento-- pahapyaw sa kung ano ang takbo ng istorya.
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• The female lead (Mirae) similarizes herself to the universe, which coincides with the codename/alias she uses in their mafia organization:

Dahil ang karugtong ng parte na ito ay ang rescue operation, I understood the metaphors as the Universe being wonderful and complicated because it is composed of the Moon, Stars, etc.

Kung tama ang pagkakaintindi ko sa metaphor na ginamit patungkol sa bida magandang metaphor ito. Kasi kumokonekta sa eksenang sumunod na may rescue operation sila, at ang bida na may codename na Universe ay nagpapakita ng teamwork kasama ang mga karakter na may codenames na Moon, Star, etc. It is the teamwork, making sure each one is moving based on their function that made the Universe admirable.

At kung ito man ang meaning ng metaphor... may pero. (Ie-elaborate ko sa susunod na parte ng review na ito.)

Kung mali man ang interpretasyon ko sa metaphor, sana nabigyan ng clarification o hustisya sa susunod na mga kabanata. Kasi kung titingnan sa ibang anggulo, hindi siya connected sa scenario na ire-rescue nila ang nakidnap na member ng Cosmos. The transition is not smooth at all. Parang nag-random thoughts si Female Lead (lutang moments during rescue operation) nang hindi related sa kinakaharap na sitwasyon.

Or maybe, this could have been worded better, kung ang goal ay ma-introduce nang kaunti si Female Lead through a metaphor.
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• I also feel an information overload sa Simula. Confusing at mahirap i-grasp kung sino ang mga karakter.

The Female Lead would sometimes address a character by their codenames. Minsan, by their first name, last name or nickname. Which is confusing, because you can't tell who's who.

Wala kasing proper introduction ang mga karakter pero parang kinakausap ka ng Female Lead (First Person POV ang kwento kaya ganito ang feels) na para bang matagal na kayong magkakilala.

This information overload makes me think that she's talking to 12 people in the scene when she's only talking to five or seven people only.

Example:

+ mga Devaughne: Understood naman na mga tauhan ng mafia organization na Devaughne ang pangalan ang tinutukoy dito dahil sa salitang mga. Pero minsan, kasama sa tinutukoy dito si Vynz Devaughne kapag kasama ang mga tauhan niya. I had to reread sometimes to figure it out.

++ maaaring gamitin ang terminong bata, tauhan, utusan, tao, mafioso, tuta o underboss para tukuyin ang mga tauhan ni Vynz Devaughne nang hindi nagiging redundant ang terminong Devaughne.

++ Bukod sa redundant, mahirap tukuyin minsan kung si Vynz na ang tinutukoy o isa sa mga mafia member. Ginagamit din kasi ang terminong ito para tukuyin si Vynz:

+ ni Devaughne: (Most probably, si Vynz ang tinutukoy. But why not use Vynz, Vynz Atticus, or Atticus instead of Devaughne?

+ + Below, it is finally specified that the character being pertained to is Vynz Devaughne (which is good):

++ Maaari rin namang tawaging Devaughne si Vynz kung siya lang ang Devaughne na present sa eksena (to avoid confusion).

+ This one is confusing too:

++ First, the Female Lead calls him Dame. Tapos biglang Damien. I only figured out na iisang tao lang ito nung nabasa ko ang kasunod na kabanata/Kabanata 1.

++ Same issue rin sa iba pang mga karakter:

++ Hindi maayos na natukoy sa Simula na si Archer si Light at si Dash si Moon. This, I also figured out when I read the next chapter.

Importanteng ma-grasp mabuti ng readers kung sinu-sino ang mga karakter para ma-visualize nila kaagad. Tulad ng relationships, mas mainam kung consistent ang label nila para madaling tandaan.

There's a couple more of this issue sa Simula.
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KABANATA 1

• Thankfully, this chapter clarified the confusions and information overload I had from Simula. Hindi man directly nabanggit na si Creed si Night o si Arch si Light, the descriptions of their conditions/injuries helped us identify which is which.

Example:

Simula - Nabaril malapit sa dibdib si Light.

Kabanata 1 - Si Archer lang ang malala ang tama ng bala sa mga karakter na nabanggit/malapit sa dibdib.
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• May parte o eksena sa Simula na contradicting sa mga naganap sa Kabanata 1.

Example:

Simula - "Fine. Get my rifle on the rooftop. Shoot Vynz if you can, we'll talk later."

Kabanata 1 - "You'll ask me if you can still join Cosmos and it's still a no for me." I don't want him to join Cosmos, it's too dangerous for him.

Importante na maging convincing ang characters sa isang kwento. Hindi convincing sa akin na situational kaya napilitan si Mirae utusan ang kapatid na patayin si Vynz. As a mafia leader, she should know how to keep people away from the organization she they wants to.

And I don't think Damien's involvement with their operations happened just once/this once, given na matagal na ang organization nila to the point na magkaka-close si Mirae at ang kanyang mga underbosses. So, for this instance to keep on happening showed me, as a reader, one thing-- Mirae is just letting Damien be involved which contradicts her claims that she doesn't want him to be involved. This makes me, as a reader, question this character's credibility.

Also, being a witness and accomplice to the organization's activities already involves Damien with it. (Just my thoughts.)
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• What bothers me the most in Kabanata 1 is the scene between Mirae and Astrid. Is her joke/prank really that necessary? Why does Mirae need to manipulate her subordinates like that?

I cannot sympathize with the Female Lead on this one. I don't get the need to joke around about this matter (accusing Astrid of being a traitor) when they are having a work-related conversation.

At dahil underboss niya si Astrid, we can assume that Mirae already knows her personally and on a deeper level. She's supposed to know how to push Astrid's buttons. (I have read  the first three chapters of Astrid's story, Deceiving the Star so we'll know from there that she's a softie, pretty sensitivd).

That's why this betrayal joke is just so low. Lalo na nung imbes maawa o makonsensya ay natatawa pa siya sa reaksyon ng mga nasa paligid nila at sa mangiyak-ngiyak na si Astrid.

Ito ang naging dating sa akin ng eksena, because as a reader, I uphold an expectation that as a mafia boss she doesn't take nonsense when it comes to business. The Female Lead, being the leader, had to set an example somehow to her subordinates. Pero at the same time, in a reviewer point of view, maraming uri ng personality ang mga tao/characters. Pwede naman palampasin ito if the intention of this scene is to show Mirae's manipulative characterization.

And by the way, this scene is a well-executed display of Mirae's characteristic or personality. 👏

Dahil dito, nagkaroon ako ng impression na manipulative ang karakter niya.

Does this personality suit a mafia leader?

Toward their enemies, yes. Toward their subordinates, medyo questionable for me itong ginawa niya kay Astrid but applicable. Moreover, Mirae's manipulativeness added my interest with her (as a character). It adds facet to it. I wonder how her flaw could be her asset, at the same time, how her flaw can put her into some trouble.
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KABANATA 2

• Kanina may binanggit ako na ganito tungkol sa Simula:

At kung ito man ang meaning ng metaphor... may pero. (Ie-elaborate ko sa susunod na parte ng review na ito.)

I know, nabasa niyo na ang commentary sa itaas sa review ko para sa Kabanata 1. Inulit ko kasi ngayon ko ie-elaborate 'yong pero na tinutukoy ko.

Sa Kabanata 1, nagtanong si Creed kung ano ang plano ni Mirae (sa mga Devaughne, kay Vynz). Pero, hindi niya sinagot iyon. Gayundin nung tinanong siya ni Astrid.

Take note, Mirae describes the Universe as something admirable. In her metaphor, she is trying to imply that the moon, stars, the night and day, function according to their assignment within her realm (the Universe's realm).

But truth is, her actions contradict the meaning of the metaphor-- she can't work together with her subordinates. She's keeping them in the dark when it comes to her plans. This makes compromises their functionalities (Night getting exposed as part of Cosmos, Dame getting in and out of the organization even if he shouldn't be involved, etc.). Meaning, her subordinates do not really function on their own in her realm. They are turned into puppets. Their group is all over the place because of a leader who just tells them what to do without knowing what the blueprint is!

Also, does she think her subordinates won't be able to fit the pieces together? Kung sila lang din naman ang inuutusan ni Mirae mangolekta ng impormasyon tungkol kay Vynz? Kung sila lang din napagsasabihan niya ng progress ng mga pinaggagagawa niya ng solo (a.k.a attending to the charity auction just to tease Vynz)?

In Kabanata 2, the Female Lead only used her team as a back-up only. She can kill Vynz point blank in the charity auction. She can assign Night to do this and Dash to do that and Astrid to do this. Hindi iyong nakaipon lang silang lahat sa kotse, naghihintay ng go-signal ni Mirae na... go signal na sunduin na siya.

This scene can be molded into something that is in-line with their goals but keep Vynz alive. (It is obvious that the intention is to keep Vynz alive, because he's the love interest/Male Lead).

Vynz knows how to fight, for sure. Pwedeng pagsugod nila kay Vynz, masusurprise sila kasi may back up din pala ito; that is if, the author's concern is demonstrate Mirae seducing Vynz before killing him but failed to kill him.

• I also get why she had to play around with Vynz. The first chapters already established that Mirae is a manipulative person. Pero, siya rin ang nagsabi na kung may oportunidad, babarilin niya sa ulo si Vynz.

Which, she did not do. 🤦

I am talking about the parking lot scene.

Sabi nga ni Tuco sa The Good, The Bad and The Ugly:

+ Okay. Some of us might say, "Kasi may gusto siya kay Vynz." (Obvious naman kasi nagbibigay ng pahiwatig si Damien na ganoon nga.)

Pero may gusto rin siya kay Aziel. And she spared his life. She knew that with her role as a mafia leader, her romantic relationship that would involve people outside the organization will be doomed.

So why...

I am still trying to process this. If she likes Vynz that much, she'd spare his life as well. Steer away from his path as much as possible. Or assign someone else to do the killing. Romeo and Juliet vibes. If I can't have you, might as well die.

But given that Mirae is a manipulator... maybe she's trying to manipulate things (again) to her favor... Baka may something more pa sa susunod na chapters ng story. This solidifies what I said earlier that no matter how we view Mirae's manipulativeness (good or bad), it makes her an interesting character.

+ Baka sabihin din nating, "Kasi, papaibigin niya si Vynz bago patayin."

Well, she can just kill Vynz on the parking lot instead of kissing him... There's already two instances that she can kill him. She didn't. (Not couldn't, but didn't).

++ The real issue: The real issue with what I just mentioned is that Mirae has an inconsistent personality/characteristic. Siya mismo ang kumo-contradict sa ine-establish niyang karakter, sa ugali na pinapakilala niya sa atin na mga mambabasa. Ito ang pinaka challenging kapag nagsusulat gamit ang first person pov. How can the character describe themselves that is in-line with their actions/words?

Siyempre, pwede naman maging inconsistent ang karakter. Naipapamalas ang ganitong inconsistency sa:

a) character development (kung saan nagbabago ang personality ng character dahil sa mga dinanas o nakasamang side character),

b) plot twist (napilitan ang karakter umakto ng taliwas sa personality dala ng hindi inaasahang pangyayari),

o 'di kaya'y

c) may ugaling hypocritical ang karakter (taliwas sa sinasabi ang kanyang ginagawa).

In Mirae's case... halos bawat eksena, pabago-bago siya.

• But hey. Vynz and Mirae has chemistry. 👀 Idagdag sa dahilan ng impact ng pairing nila ang whirlwind effect. It gives us readers some kind of excitement, an adrenaline when something, like a romance, happens so suddenly. Kasi romantic ang naganap at nasorpresa tayo.

Spoiler: Nagulat na lang ako nung biglang nagkiss sila sa parking lot.

• Dito rin sa Kabanata 2 tayo nagkaroon ng mas malinaw-linaw na insight tungkol kay Vynz- notorious playboy vibe, overachiever, pilyo, rich kid.

I get a sense that in the end of the story, he'll get a taste of his own medicine because Mirae, being a manipulator, will manage to manipulate his feelings to love her.

Tandaan natin ang nakasaad sa blurb, mabigat ang kasalanan ni Universe sa kapatid ni Vynz-- pinatay at ginahasa.

+ Yes, he can love Mirae for real (not manipulated) but unless, it wasn't Mirae who did the crime, I don't see any awkwardness or complications along the way kapag sinubukang lagyan ng progress ang relationship nila para magkatuluyan sila.

+ If it wasn't Mirae who was behind those crimes, hindi ko iisiping out of manipulated feelings kaya nagkatuluyan sila... In other words, this couple will be challenging to write a happy ending together for. Dahil challenging it is both exciting and nakakakaba! Hopefully, naitawid ng maayos ng author ang love story nila (kung happy ending man)! ❤️
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SUMMARY:

Overall, Cosmos Series 1: Chasing the Universe, inspite of the points I've mentioned, is an enjoyable read.

• Maganda ang pacing ng first three parts ng kwento. There's an element of suspense, which is good because it tends to invite the readers to read the next chapters.

• Ang pinakagusto ko sa writing style ng author ay ang pulidong descriptiveness. Hindi masyado wordy i-describe ang mga action scenes, mga karakter at setting. Tulad na lang nito:

Minsan kasi, may mga writers na nake-carried away sa pagde-describe ng scenes, characters at settings. Sobrang carried away na halos isang paragraph na ang nasusulat para i-describe ang hitsura ng isang damit.

( Teka, parang ako 'tong writer na ito, ah? 🤣 )

What I just want to say is, descriptions can be vivid and luscious without getting too flowery or overloaded with words.

• Ang main challenge na kailangang ma-conquer ng author ay ang characterization ng mga tauhan sa kanyang sinusulat na kwento. Ang pag-introduce sa kanila ng maayos sa nobela, specifically, their personalities and body language.

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CONCLUSION:

I hope we all learned the following from this review:

- Tamang paggamit ng mga Prologue. Para saan ang mga Prologue.

- Characters must be introduced properly to avoid information overload.

- How your main character treats other characters shed light on their personality.

- There are only a few select moments when characters can be understandably inconsistent.

- Establish a consistent personality of your character. A consistent personality makes your character easy to remember and distinguish from the side characters. It also helps a character stand-out.

LEARN FROM THE AUTHOR:

- Descriptions can be vivid and luscious without getting too flowery or wordy.

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Had some realizations about writing that is not mentioned in my list? Have more questions?

Comment here!

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