Daddy,
They tried to bring me down,
They tried to let me down,
But you were a light.
Someone used us,
But you were an angel.
Someone tricked us,
But you were the riddle.
They fooled us,
But you let go.

We were so happy.
That was our promise,
To be happy together.
That day in the hospital—I was imagining,
It's not like an imagination,
It was a denial,
I denied to see the truth.

In my thoughts there were four of us, smiling happily, and I kept saying,
"We'll live together 4 of us, till I grow old,"
I repeated them a thousand times—and the silly thing is..
I kept couldn't see that I'd grow old with you in there.
Because deep down.. I already knew,
But I kept denying.

I wondered why you were so confusing.
You walked so fast—yes, that's your style.
You bought anything you wanted most.
You almost bought us everything.
You gave us everything.
But for what?
For this?

Till today.. I can't stop asking why.
I knew this was meant to be—but still,
Why?
They said God did this because God know I was strong enough,
that I am strong enough.
But why?
Why me?
Some of them also said that this is the best—
But why this?

So far, what I believe from every word they said is only—
"Because he's an incredibly nice, humble, and the most caring person I've ever met in my entire life—and God fears bad people would influence him."
All I know.. that is the truth.
Not because I was—or am strong enough,
Nor because this is for my very fucking best.
He is the most outstanding person that's ever been in my life.
That.

Why, why, why.
Now that's my top of the list word.
But in my littlest part of my heart know,
This is real.. and I can't keep asking why in my entire life,
But just live it on.
But I miss you daddy, I really do.
I just want you to know how we wouldn't be entirely 'living' without you here.
We're dying to see and feel you again.
If I could just roll the time.. I would.

In the end, life has its limits, even love.
But you are the one and only exception, daddy.
My biggest love is for you,
It would be only you dad.
No one can ever replace you.

Yippee ki yay, dad.

Now everything feels different. No more random piano notes annoying me.. no more coming home and finding him watching Die Hard for the millionth time.. no more Yippee ki yays echoing through the living room.. or his loud laugh that usually rings all over the house..

I hardly talk to my mom anymore. Whenever I check on her, she'd be in her bed—crying while looking at the large photo of him and her on the wall. She eats only when it's 4 o'clock—even I have to remind her of it every hour. I understand though.. Can't imagine losing the love of your life so suddenly.

Oh—and The Cavills' taking care of Tumba for a little while. Only until everything's.. normal—nah I don't think it would, but—nevermind. So.. yeah, it's ok, that way I can take care of my own. Making your own breakfast for awhile is no big deal—

When you hear the sound of a rattling suitcase.

Turning to find the source, you see your mom—pausing as she notices you in the kitchen—holding an egg with a confused expression on your face.

"Mom?"

Reluctantly, you call out to her. However, with tears flowing from her eyes, all she could says is—

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she chokes—before immediately going to the door in a rush.

Upstairs, you hear hurried footsteps—that's when Tyler appears, panting and out of breath. "E—Em—" he starts as he rests his eyes on you. Once he finds your mom, with urgency, he calls out, "Auntie Janet—"

"W—what's going on?" you ask—heart racing. A sense of dread settling over you as you turn your head from Tyler—to your mom. As if on the right timing, Tumba starts to bark—barging from outside with urgency.

Taking a deep breath as she struggles to compose herself, Janet whimpers, "I'm going away for a little while okay, baby?"

"W—where? You're not taking me with you?"

"Every corner in this house reminds me of him—"

And everything becomes painfully clear.

Panic rises within you, watching tears stream down your mom's face as she shakes her head. Realization hits you like a ton of bricks, and you begin to cry. Tyler stands behind you, his hands reluctantly holding your shoulders, unsure of what to do—but you rush to your mom's side, begging her, "Mom please don't leave—I can't do this without you—" tears streaming down your cheeks as you cling to her.

Your mom sobs uncontrollably, returning your embrace before gently pushing you away. "I'm sorry, baby—but every time I see you—it just—"

From outside, you can hear the rustling of The Cavills before they barge in through the door—as if it would stop her from doing what she 'needs'. Exhaling a big sigh, Janet shakes her head before holding her suitcase once more—and your world crumbles as your mom makes her way to the door.

"Janet.. please don't do this.. she needs you—" Violet pleads, voice filled with desperation.

"I can't—" she whispers, her voice barely audible over the sound of her sobs. Turning to Violet and Greg, she asks, "Take care of her for a while, okay?" then turns to Tyler, eyes filled with sorrow as Janet pleads, "Take care of my baby, okay, Tyty?"

"Auntie.." Tyler chokes out—before your mom hurriedly runs outside, followed by The Cavills.

You stand there, defeatedly turning to the front of the TV. Beside you, Tumba follows—whimpering while nudging your legs. With trembling hands, you reach for a family photo that's been resting on the TV table, clutching it tightly to your chest. "Dad.." you whisper, tears blurring your vision as you hold onto the only semblance of your family that remains.

"Hey~ I got you some food~"

Tyler announces as he drops the food on the floor—before he climbs up and enters the room. But he's met with you staring emptily into the distance. Following your sad gaze.. he notices how you moved the family photo from the living room to your desk. Tyler's face falls, worry evident as he checks the untouched porridge from earlier that day—now swarmed with flies.

"Winny.. you have to eat.." he urges softly as he throws the spoiled porridge into the bin. Quickly washing his hands, he opens a food container he brought from home and sits beside you on the edge of your bed—spoon in hand. "Say aaa~" he prompts, holding the spoon near your mouth.

But you remain lost in your thoughts—a tear drops on your right cheek. Sighing at the scene, Tyler lowers the spoon, placing the food aside—then wraps his arms around you tightly, holding you as if he could shield you from all the pain.

Burying your face in his shoulder, tears soaking his shirt as you clutch onto him—desperate for the comfort only he can provide. His hand gently strokes your hair, his other arm tightening around you—grounding you in the moment. Giving in to his embrace, you wail an ugly wail as tears flowing once more.

Funny how I thought I was lucky enough to not have gone mad. What if.. I want to be a crazy person right now? What if I'd die to be mad right now? Does a crazy person feel any hurt? If not—being one might be fucking better.

Greg and Violet asked me to come stay with them. But I don't want to leave. This house is the only thing that could make me still feel his presence. Every paint.. every placement.. every scent—makes me feel like I'm home. Even though—at the same time.. it still feels less like home since now I'm pretty much..

Alone.

Funny looking at the word now—alone. It feels so ancient and familiar at the same time. Never in my life I'd be feeling this empty—but it's ok. People cope with heartbreak differently anyway.

"You know—never in my life I'd imagine I'd lose two people in the span of two days."

You laugh bitterly, both you and Tyler leaning against the back of the bed, facing each other. He gently runs his fingers through your hair, offering silent comfort. "She'll come back," he reassures softly.

"I thought I could get through this with her—now I really don't know how to live after all of this," you sigh, looking down, "all I know now.. the saddest thing anyone could feel is having your hopes and dreams suddenly crushed—to have your expectations shattered to the ground."

Tyler stays quiet, unsure. Not sure how to approach the comment. But a wonder swims on his mind. All he knows.. is this spectacle is changing you forever. But that's what he's afraid of. What if it really changes you forever? What if you suddenly shut down? What if you're not the cheerful and witty Winny he knows all his life anymore? He doesn't want you to change. He doesn't want his bestfriend to change at all.

"Fuck, I can't believe I'm all alone now, Ty. What in the fucking messed up world is this?"

"Hey, you're not alone." he firmly assures, squeezing your hands. However, he notices your strange gaze. Sensing how you're about to say something but holding back, caressing your hair, he smiles encouragingly, "Let it all out, Winny. I know a lot is on your mind right now."

Briefly darting your gaze away from him, you reluctantly call out, "Ty?" your voice cracks as you tremble slightly.

"Yeah?"

"I've—taken things for granted—I don't want to regret—before you leave me too—" you stammer as you finally dart your gaze at him. Tyler goes rigid, his manner becoming urgent as he listens to you intently. Your words catch on your throat as you cry, "Everyone eventually leave, dad.. mom—"

"Winny—"

"If he's not here anymore, why am I still here?" you whimper, looking down as tears start to fall from your eyes. Tyler's eyebrows knit together in concern, and he rests his forehead on yours as you continue in a hushed whisper,

"I feel like I've taken many things for granted.. I just.. I don't want you to be one of them."

"Em—"

"I love you."

You declare, immediately cupping his cheek with both of your hands. "So much," you add, voice trembling as tears stream down your face.

Tyler's eyes widen, the color draining from his face as a blush creeps up his cheeks. His eyes search yours, and his expression shifts from confusion to deep sadness. His knuckles clench and unclench, hiding his trembling hands as his heart pounds loudly in his chest. As he feels a sudden courage seeping through this exact moment, he's about to open his mouth—

"You're my forever bestfriend, Tyler."

And closes it again.

Again.

Always.

Bestfriends. Forever.

Of course.

The words ring on his head like a fucking unnerving tambourine on a mission to wreck his brains. His face falls. He looks away. His once tense fingers release, flattening on his thighs.

But why? Why disappointed? Why does his frustration rage like storms and the seas having war inside of him again?

Blinking and exhaling in confusion, his brows furrow. A blank look plastered on his face.

But your sobs are getting harder as your grip on his forearms tighten. You desperately plead, "Please—I know this is so selfish of me—and I know—people leave—people leave all the time—please promise me you'd be the one who stays—?"

Interrupted by hiccups, your try your best to finish—you need to—you have to—or else he'll be gone from your grasp—"Because I really don't know what I'd do if you leave—"

"Hey—hey, I promise—look at me—" he assures, his voice tinged with urgency as he holds your face, trying to catch your gaze as he continues, "you won't. ever. see me leave." His initial bad mood now washed away by serious determination to assure you, to calm you down. However, still shutting your eyes tight, you're still sobbing—body shaking in anxiety.

"Look at me, Winny.."

He mutters gently. Still sobbing, you finally look into his eyes. He gently wipes away your tears with his thumbs.. his touch tender and reassuring.. and his hazel eyes never leave yours as he says,

"I promise I'll stay."

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Cecylia Costania @rcpcswrites

You can elevate your experience by also listening to songs I added to this story's playlist! Full Playlist on bio💖

The song that matches this Chapter's vibe:

https://youtu.be/cdG-VkY9XmA