Darkness. The sound of scattered dry leaves blown against each other pierced the quiet hum of the wind. Trees responded to the wind as they also rustled and waved their arms. As the cold breath of nature reached her skin, it sent a chill across her body that numbed her spine. She realized her teeth were gritting subconsciously because of the chill. Since she loved being in the cold, she forced her jaws to relax, which instantly tricked her nerves into feeling slightly warmer. Dim, silver light spilled itself scarcely on the tops of the tallest trees and the boulders that shone in the clearing where she stood. The misty, cold scent of the night entered the girl's lungs as she breathed in deeply. On the ground just beneath her feet lay scattered, curled-up leaves. Underneath them, was a layer of flat, damp leaves all clinging to each other. Hugging the roots and trunks of the trees were emerald moss clumps, soft and fuzzy. The darkness seemed to thicken immensely by every inch beyond this tiny clearing. She studied the darkness all around her. It was only a little shady where she stood, but as she looked further into the depths, darkness overcame her vision, and she could no longer make out the silhouette of a single tree.

That was before a faint, golden light caught her eye as she was studying her circumference. The light seemed fuzzy and distant, but close enough that she could still reach it. Her instincts urged her to investigate, so she did so. With every step, she seemed to get intensely closer. The light grew brighter, and its image became larger and clearer. It still felt so far away, however. It felt like she reached the light in only a heartbeat, but she'd been walking for at least a few minutes. As the girl got closer, she saw that it was made up of tiny little light specks flying around. Then, she realized that the light was actually a gathering of fireflies. They were all circling in place, like a sparkling sphere of dancing stars. Without even wondering why so many fireflies were in one place, she began to inch closer, overcome by her discovery.

Slowly, she stepped into the midst of the gathering. She wasn't scared the least, despite being around so many flying insects. Unsure but curious, she tried her best to avoid colliding with the strange fireflies. Finally, the girl was engulfed in a beautiful globe of dancing lights. As if she was moving through molasses, the girl's hand hesitantly floated up to a firefly. When it sensed her hand, it retreated, also hesitating a little. After studying her now-frozen hand, the firefly floated back to her and landed on her fingers.

As soon as its crawlers touched her skin, the dark forest and all the other fireflies disappeared in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, the girl was standing in a vast and sunny grass field with the firefly still on her hand. Now, the insect wasn't glowing anymore. The sky looked as if the time was around sunrise. The tips of the overgrown grass looked like they were dipped in rose gold paint. The field was an ocean: the tall, thin bodies of the grass rippled and swayed like green and gold waves. Each strand reached up to her waist, shading the rest of her body from the world. Looking around the ocean of grass, she felt insignificant and small compared to the massive field. She was just a little speck, a grain of sand in the endless field of green. Kind of like how the Earth was to the impossibly massive universe.

Far beyond the field were the shapes of dark green trees, interrupting the endless journey of the grass. Just being in the vicinity of this field made her feel a deep serenity, she could never know how to explain. Maybe it was the endlessness or the lighting that made her feel so inexplicably calm. Either way, the feeling this place gave her was more powerful than any drug could ever seduce her.

While she was caught up in her emotionless state, she hadn't realized that another girl was walking toward her in the distance. However, this girl appeared to be deeply focused on her destination and didn't seem to notice her. Without warning, the firefly that had been in her hand flew away and disappeared off in the girl's direction. I totally forgot about it, she thought. Why did it have to leave though? Taking a step, she squinted at the girl. I'm too far away, she thought. She took several more steps and squinted again. Suddenly, her eyes widened with surprise and disbelief. Now, the girl in the distance also saw her and froze in her tracks.

"Alina. . . is. . . that you?" she wondered out loud. The girl in the distance started walking again, a little faster this time. She, too, began to take a step. All of a sudden, she broke into a run. A huge smile and tears sprouted on her face. The other girl began to jog as well. In less than a second, she had magically reached the girl. Right before they collided, her arms flew out and wrapped tightly around the girl's thin frame.

"I missed you so much, Alina," she choked. The other girl brought her arms around her waist.

"I missed you too, Lilly," Alina said, gripping her tighter. A tear rolled down Lilly's cheek. For a long moment, the two friends held each other tightly in silence. The longer they stayed like this, the more Lilly seemed to cry. She closed her eyes to try to stop the flow of tears, but they still managed to trickle out. She gripped Alina's body tighter.

"Why'd you have to go?" Lilly's voice trembled. She didn't want Alina to see her like this a second time, but at the moment, her emotions could not be tamed.

"I'm sorry, Li–" Alina started.

"No, don't say sorry. It wasn't your fault," Lilly interrupted. "None of it was your fault. Please, please don't ever say that again."

"Ok, I won't," Alina reassured. "I know you're still sad about me. But it's ok now Lilly, at least I'm not in pain anymore. I feel so much better now, I feel good again for the first time in a while," Alina sighed. "And honestly, I really only wanted to stay for you. I tried so hard." With a pang, Lilly remembered the last time Alina said, 'I tried.'

"I know you did, Ali!" Lilly cried through her tears. "That's why I'm so. . . that's why I'm like this," she finished, sobbing continuously. "If y– if that damn. . ." she trailed off.

"Shhh. Don't worry about it now," Alina cupped her hand on Lilly's wet cheek. "It's over. It was part of me, so it died with me. Now it's gone. I know it isn't fair, but that's life. Life isn't always fair. We just have to learn how to deal with it. And right now, I'm with you," Alina said softly, her voice soothing Lilly as she stroked her watery face.

Lilly took a deep, shivering breath, and the tears ended. Then, she hastily wiped them with the back of her hand and managed to look into her eyes. Alina smiled. This sent a rush of warmth through her, and she smiled too.

"By the way, where are we?" Lilly asked after Alina's hand retreated. "And I don't know if you saw it, but there was a firefly on my hand that flew away. Did you see it? Where did it go?" She continued like a child. The more she spoke to her like this, the more she missed the old, troubleless times.

"I sent them so you could find me," Alina answered, the edge of her lips curling into a smile as she spoke proudly. "I knew you'd get to them. I did see it, but only for a moment before it disappeared. Weren't they beautiful, though?" her smile widened as she spoke.

"Yes, they were," Lilly agreed. She remembered Alina's favorite creature, the firefly. It matched her beautiful character, always lighting up any room she was in and giving hope to those who were lost. Alina was just such a colorful person and full of inspiration. She was never scared easily and was always a brave adventurer. Unfortunately, she was misunderstood sometimes, so many would overlook how good of a person Alina was. But when her true colors did show, they could turn the ugly into gorgeous; and fear into courage. She was so amazingly beautiful in her own very special way.

Then, Lilly recalled the painting she drew for Alina: A gathering of fireflies floating gracefully in the darkest of dark forests. Lilly had gotten to the point where she was physically sick of seeing the dull, featureless walls of the hospital room so she decided to put her skills to use. She remembered starting with a single firefly, but in her desperation, she drew more and more until the painting was clustered with luminescent bugs. Lilly painted the entire canvas all on Alina's bedside. She'd hung her masterpiece on the wall across Alina's bed in the hospital, hoping it would magically give her the power to recover.

Those were some of the worst months of her life. Every single day was painful. That year, she didn't even feel like celebrating her eighteenth birthday. In fact, she felt it was wrong to celebrate it knowing the state Alina was in and how it wouldn't feel the same without her. She declined all efforts of celebration including Alina's prodding because she knew it would end in her own tears on the cake anyway. All she could think of were the endless dreadful possibilities that could happen. But, all she could do was just wait for them to happen. She hated waiting. Especially for fate. Every time someone came through the door, her anxiety would whisper, it's the doctor, he's coming to tell us some bad news again, and when he did, it felt as though she was falling through a black hole. However, Lilly hated much more seeing Alina's beautiful face twist with anxiety, disappointment, and crushed hopes. Each endless "bad news" tore her apart even more than the last. Inside, Lilly's heart was hanging by a noose, but outside, she could only try to hide her depression with the tears that had never ended since.

"Hey, please don't cry," Alina pleaded as she wiped a threatening tear from underneath her eye. Lilly hadn't even realized it came out. Tears became her only friend that understood her and stayed with her after Alina's cancer. They'd stayed with her for the longest after she heard the final, dreaded beep of the heart rate monitor. But, they never helped her understand why everything had to happen.

"Let's walk around a little Lilly, this place is so beautiful!" Alina chirped, sensing her thoughts. She pulled Lilly with her. "I bet you can't catch me!"

This sent an unexpected rush of excitement through Lilly, as it always did when they used to race. Alina was always faster than her, so all she could do was just smile and enjoy their famous game while still pushing her legs as hard as she could.

They smiled and raced. The two friends ran until Lilly realized they were almost heading into the woods, which used to be unthinkably far away from the field where the chase had started.

"Alina!" Lilly shouted, panting heavily. "Should we stop?" Alina slowed down immediately, several paces ahead, and headed back to Lilly.

"Wow, time and everything really does fly when you're having fun," Alina observed as she started laughing. This made Lilly crack up too, for a long time, in fact, just because laughing was very contagious whenever Alina started it.

After a few minutes, they settled down. Slowly but carefully, Alina's face turned serious. She reached up to the back of her neck and unhooked a necklace that trailed down to her chest. Then, she took a few steps closer, so they were just inches apart.

"This was the necklace I tried to tell my parents to give to you," Alina said as she rehooked the chain around Lilly's neck. It was a locket in the shape of a luminous, black firefly. "I guess they couldn't understand me anymore at that point. I wasn't really understanding myself anymore either," Alina said solemnly as she held the locket in her palm. "I wish I could've written it down but that probably wouldn't come out right as well. This was the only thing that wasn't fuzzy in my head, and that was to pass this to you," she said, letting go of the firefly. All at once, Lilly seized Alina and pulled her into a firm embrace. Alina did the same and they stood there as their heads pressed together, gripping each other as tight as they could.

Suddenly, she felt Alina's grasp fade.

                                • • •

Lilly woke up. In a surge of panic, she looked to her side abruptly. Alina wasn't there. The sun, glazed on top of her blankets from the window across her bed. She still felt the touch of Alina's grasp on her back. The last tear welled out of her eye and rolled down her cheek, onto her pillow. It's been three years now since she left. I should really get over it. I know that's what she wants, Lilly thought. Like a jolt through her head, she remembered, The locket! As quick as lightning, she looked down at her chest. It was still there. Lilly pushed herself up and touched the black firefly. She felt the edges and opened it. Inside, there was a picture to the left. It was a selfie of her and Alina on their shared sixteenth birthday. To the right, white, cursive words that were engraved into the casing wrote:

To Lilly, from me: Life possesses both beautiful and tragic. It just depends on which road we seek, that brings us to what we looked for. It's all about how you perceive the world.