I did this as much for me as I did it for you. It might not seem that way, but it's true. Before you, I wouldn't believe I'd do this to myself. But now I know what I'd do for someone like you, who means so much to me. I love you, Arlee.

--

I had failed. Arlee was supposed to be reading this right now, not me. I failed I failed I failed. The words repeated over and over, taking over my thoughts as my eyes scanned the words I wrote. Words Arlee was supposed to read because she was alive. Words I wasn't supposed to see again because I was supposed to be dead. Not her.

My hands shook as I folded the paper into my pocket. I fell to the floor, my body shaking with sobs. I didn't know how much time had come and gone before Arlee's Mom and Dad opened her door and found me, silently crying, still crouched on the floor. They said my mom was here. They helped me down to her, promising I would attend her funeral, hardly keeping their own composure as they talked about their dead daughter.

I couldn't change Arlee's fate.