" today is your henna day i hope you aren't nervous " my aunt said as she put the red veil on my head .

I wasn't gonna lie , the day has finally come for me to take a step in my life . I was finally doing my henna night and it was a tradition , henna wasn't very far from the wedding . At this time mehmed should be in the road coming back .

All thr maids gathered around me and helped me get prepared .

" Gevherhan where is atike "i said asking my sister who was sitting few meters away from me .

" She is going to come , she is preparing herself " i nodded at her then looked back at myself in the mirror .

Ever since that accident with atike happened she didn't talk to anyone and i was so busy with preparations that i didn't have the time to read it but i was planning to .

" our bride is ready " dilara said as she put her last touch on my beautiful red dress .

She helped me get up and i stood facing my aunt and sister , they both got up and approached me .

" my beautiful neslihan i can't believe i have lived to see this day " my aunt said as she started tearing up , i quickly got moved .

" She will cry too " gevherhan said smiling to our aunt thzt wipped her tears away

" your mother would've loved to see this day " this sentence right here broke my heart into pieces . Without feeling tears started escaping my eyes

" no don't " my aunt said hugging me and i quickly wipped my tears

" today is your happiest day , you shouldn't cry " gevherhan said rubbing my arm gently , she was absolutely right .

" come on they must be waiting for us " humasah sultan said while giving me a reassuring smile .

Three maids came infront of me and three were behind me , i followed the maids as the door opened and my heart was beating so fast . We walked down the hallways until we arrived infront of valide sultan's room

The door opened and music could be heard loudly . But as long as i stepped in the music stopped , Kösem sultan was sitting graciously on her throne and she was surrounded by my sister atike and ayse .

I walked towards kösem sultan and bowed to her , i hated what i was going to do but these were the traditions .

I took her hand in mine and kissed the top of it before putting it down .

" May this wedding bring you only happiness my daughter " i gave her a large fake smile before standing up .

The kalfas guided me to a chair in the middle of the room and i sat on it ,and as sook as i did all the maids surrounded me in a circle then the music started again  .

This was the happiest moment of my life , i would marry the man i love and i would only live happily .

The atmosphere was so beautiful , all these people were happily singing along and shared my happiness . But suddenly the door bursted open revealing haci agha standing panicked .

" Valide sultan i am sorry for this but sultan murad has asked for your presence " kösem sultan stood up angrily .

I knew something was wrong , i immediately stood up and decided to follow my guts .

" Neslihan where are you going " my aunt humasah said standing up along with my sisters .

" What could be important the day of my henna i wonder " i said taking off the veil of my face and storming out from the room following kösem sultan

" Neslihan wait a moment " atike ran towards me and grabbed my arm trying to stop me from following Kösem sultan

" atike let go " i said freeing my arm from her grip .

" Look , let's just wait for my mother and she is gonna tell us what's wrong " gevherhan tried to convince me too but i already made my decision .

I ignored all of their words and walked towards murad's room .

" Sister what are you doing here isn't this supposed to be your henna ?" I looked at kasim talking to kemankes not standing far from murad's room .

" Kasım don't lie to me is there something wrong happening ? " i asked kasim looking at him straight into his eyes but he avoided looking at me .

" this is what i am talking about " i said looking away in anger .

I started waiting infront of murad's room until i started to hear shouts inside , that's when i decided to enter his room but the aghas blocked my way .

" You either get off my sight right now or i'll kill you both , go away " they looked at eachother but still kept standing there .

I grabbed a knife tucked into kemankes's pocket and held it infront of one of them while others were panicking . The two aghas immediately stepped away 

I opened the door to the sight of murad fighting with his mother and beyazid standing in the side angry .

" What is happening how did you get in " murad said looking over at me .

" Tell me murad what is it so important in my special day " i said walking closer towards him and he looked away .

" neslihan , let's go back " kösem sultan tried to grab my arm but i escaped her not taking my eyes off murad .

" There is no wedding or anything , your supposed to be husband was executed " my heart stopped and my mind freezed .

I took a step back not believing what i just heard  .

" murad are you hearing yourself " i said barely composing my sentences .

" He was a traitor he had his punishment " he said with big eyes challenging me .

" are you a brother ? It is a shame to call you my brother . You kill my husband in the night of my henna who was supposed to be my happy day " i spoke as tears were running down my cheeks in anger .

" Is this a family ? Is this what you call a family " i said looking behind me to find gevherhan's face looking down

" You killed gevherhan's husband and made her son an orphan " i wipped my tears away and tried to catch my breath

" Behave , do not forget who you're talking to " murad yelled at me but i didn't even fear him this time

" I wish i was never born ,i wish i was never here . I wish i never knew you . If i was just a normal girl i would've cursed you " i spitted with anger and he didn't even have the power to respond

" I wish you never find happiness just like you teared away my happiness away " i said one last time before leaving his room in tears .

My siblings tried to follow me but i ran towards my room not caring how i looked or how people would see me .

Everything was destroyed , all my happiness was gone because of Murad